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caraviolin

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  1. Hi everyone, sorry I wanted to respond yesterday but the website told me I created the max posts in a day. yes, I’ve been honest with my therapist through all of the issues with my guy. I didn’t think she was all that amazing because she asked me things like, so how does that make you feel? When I clearly felt like s**t. I simultaneously was being treated for severe ocd, put on the eventual maximum dose of Luvox. My therapist kept telling me I need to learn to self soothe in a relationship, and she tried to come up with scenarios that weren’t even possible at the time since I couldn’t lea
  2. I did tell her everything. I’ve even told her how his stepfather screams at us if I don’t clean the drain of the bathroom properly after washing my hair, or clean the vacuum after using it in his room. His stepfather is a nasty man. It’s one of the reasons I don’t like to be anywhere other than his room, much less use the kitchen. his stepfather has screamed at us for being freeloaders and parasites.
  3. I never thought to picture my life with him like this, but it’s honestly brilliant. If I took away the words, his actions would tell me he likes me, but there wouldn’t be love. And in the sex, it would show he treats me like an object (I don’t mind that but not all the time). This made me really think.
  4. Sorry Holly. Didn’t mean to ignore. I did; in the past she told me she can’t tell me whether or not to end it, but that it doesn’t seem it is an equal relationship. It seems I’m doing more. Over last week, I was unable to meet with her and that is one of the reasons I decided to post here. This week I’ll explain to her everything I wrote here. I already walked away.
  5. Thanks to everyone. The care shown towards me in this thread was overwhelming..each and every one of you gave me a wake up call. I know what I have to do. I don’t think we are good for each other, and the sooner I leave the sooner he can get back to his own life. It’s heartbreaking that I’m doing this right after the holidays. It seems so calculated. Just a few days ago he told me he’s so happy I’m in his life. But you are right, if he were, he would be looking for full time employment and spending more time with me, which he isn’t. it’s time for me to wake up. I don’t know why I’m a
  6. I want to feel like I’ve given it my best before I do. I don’t think I have; I guess I haven’t been as easy going lately, and could do more. If I did more, it’ll maybe turn things around. that’s my silly thinking. I feel like an abusive girlfriend. I read a quote once that said, loving someone is accepting who they are NOW. And I’m not doing that. I claim I love him, but I don’t follow that ideal.
  7. I wanted to leave this morning, but he came back to bed at 3 am and told me he didn’t want to go to bed like this. We tried to talk it out around then. We didn’t get very far until we fell asleep, and then I woke up around 10. he told me he’s sad I don’t bring coffee and breakfast like I used to (I do but not as often...since this is his parents’ house, the kitchen is a bit of a problem to use sometimes; I’ve resorted to making breakfast in my own house and bringing it to him on the weekends ). Then he burst into tears. He told me this seems like the beginning of the end with us. H
  8. I’m a mess. found out he does indeed watch porn during the week when I’m not there. He also jerks off a lot during the week. I'm crushed. I told him, don’t you think this has any bearing on how our sexual life has been? He said, I’ll try not to jerk off during the week. maybe then he’ll cum inside me. yes. Try it now, after months of this going on. After months of seeing your girl sob. im in a state of shock right now. Am I worthless? What’s going on?
  9. Yes, Wiseman. This is the same boyfriend. He does a lot of Nicotine products, not smoking or gaping but pouches. Idk if that has any bearing. its 2:30 in the morning right now, as I write this, and I’m sobbing. So today, he was playing his games as usual, for hours. I ended up getting a bit impatient when he promised me after a nice walk around the park that we were going to watch a movie and instead went back to games when we got back. He said, after we watch a movie I’ll have sex with you. I said, sure, only if he wants ( I wasn’t feeling that sexual tonight). he ended up pl
  10. Hi Holly, hi everyone. We have a sexual dynamic in that he likes me to be submissive. I like that too. However, in the past, I’d sometimes ask him to change the angle or to maybe kiss me during sex. He told me he hates it when I instruct him, and that’s another reason he loses the erection. So now I stay quiet. He is really into the dominant aspect of sex. I like it sometimes but there are other times I want it to be tender. We can’t seem to be tender. I stay with him because I think he’s handsome. I think he’s pretty patient with me. I don’t know if I’ll find a guy as patient as he i
  11. So the critical fussiness with my cooking is something that is not mundane? He’ll tell me some of my meals are good. So I’m not making a bigger deal out of it? It isn’t right for him to do that? Sometimes when we cuddle he’s holding me with one hand and playing a game on his phone with the other hand. This bothers me. I tell him it does and he doesn’t understand why. He says, I’m cuddling you, what’s the problem? It’s like, a lot of the time we are together, he’s distracted. He is so much better than all my past boyfriends. He doesn’t yell at me or anything. And he’s open with h
  12. He’s an easy going guy and pretty supportive. He is pretty critical over the food I prepare for him. He’ll often make comments about the taste or not like something I did, or the presentation bothers him. I pride myself being a good cook but he’s ultra fussy. It’s one of the reasons my quantity of dishes I’ve been making for him is going down. He’ll inquire over HOW I made the dishes, the method, etc. He’ll often put his two cents in if he feels it could be better. He used to love hearing me sing in the beginning of our relationship ( I’m a performer) but he told me sitting through two ho
  13. No porn. He claims he likes deep throating because if I only go halfway down, it’s like teasing him. He likes the whole shaft in my mouth. The second is my mouth is tighter than my girlie bit. There’s not much I can do about that. That makes me sad. Like I’m old and stretched out or something. My mouth is small and he is actually really big when he’s fully erect. When he is fully in, it closes off my nasal pharynx and I can’t breathe through my nose. He keeps telling me, just breathe through your nose. I tell him I can’t. He just says I need to practice. He doesn’t get it. If I retch
  14. Thanks for the reply. He really tries and I know he loves me. It’s just, idk. he doesn’t have health insurance because he doesn’t have an active job right now. He got laid off some time ago and is working odd jobs here and there, freelancing. We are in the US. He doesn’t like going to doctors. He hasn’t been to one in many many years.
  15. Happy New Year everyone. Thanks to everyone who helped me in my previous thread about my best friend. I took the advice and set boundaries and it really worked out well; we are still friends and much happier now. I’ve been having some sexual issues with my boyfriend now for almost a year. We have been together for a little more than a year and a half now. We are both in our mid thirties. Before we started dating, he made a point in telling me he was a very sexual person and was able to last a long time without having to orgasm. I asked him about positions since he br
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