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Thread: Weird situation

  1. #11
    Platinum Member itsallgrand's Avatar
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    Don't add yourself to his harem by accepting his money. It doesn't gross you out that he is trying to buy time with you?

  2. #12
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    Originally Posted by DancingFool
    If you are really a third wheel here, then why are you going at all? Seems like it would be better for you to take a pass and let your friend and her guy enjoy some one on one time.

    If you can't cancel going at this point, then you need to tell your friends and spell it out that you categorically don't want to see or spend any time with goob. Like if he shows up anywhere where you guy are, you will get up and leave level of extreme don't want to deal with him. Again, spell it out just how strongly you feel about it.

    Pay for your own hotel, meals, etc. You have no reason to allow yourself to be manipulated into dealing with this guy and had no reason to call him either. You are actually sending some seriously mixed messages about where you really stand and what you want out of this. Also, the moment you let someone pay for you, you owe them. Don't put yourself in that situation ever.
    I love this advice best. Thank you.
    I honestly know he’s going to show up. It’s differnt when someone is 30 mins away versus me being on the other side of the coast.

    Especially with his best friend dating mines and him suggesting for us to all stay where goop lives. my initial plan was meeting up with a friend who I met three years ago traveling. Been my friend ever since and I was just going to do that.

    With the third wheel situation, My best friend didn’t want to do anything without me and I thought If i brought that friend and Goop shows up. It would be an awkward situation, this trip just wasn’t thought out properly.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member Annia's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by MebbieU
    I love this advice best. Thank you.
    I honestly know he’s going to show up. It’s differnt when someone is 30 mins away versus me being on the other side of the coast.

    Especially with his best friend dating mines and him suggesting for us to all stay where goop lives. my initial plan was meeting up with a friend who I met three years ago traveling. Been my friend ever since and I was just going to do that.

    With the third wheel situation, My best friend didn’t want to do anything without me and I thought If i brought that friend and Goop shows up. It would be an awkward situation, this trip just wasn’t thought out properly.
    Your friend needs to gain a backbone and do stuff independently if being there makes you feel uncomfortable. She should understand that this situation makes you uncomfortable and therefor not insist on this and respect it. Really, you have zero reasons to accept having your hotel payed by him. It makes zero sense. You're your own person and have power of decision here.

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Do you want to reignite the romance/sex?
    Originally Posted by MebbieU
    he’s paying for my hotel room.

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by MebbieU
    I love this advice best. Thank you.
    I honestly know he’s going to show up. It’s differnt when someone is 30 mins away versus me being on the other side of the coast.

    Especially with his best friend dating mines and him suggesting for us to all stay where goop lives. my initial plan was meeting up with a friend who I met three years ago traveling. Been my friend ever since and I was just going to do that.

    With the third wheel situation, My best friend didn’t want to do anything without me and I thought If i brought that friend and Goop shows up. It would be an awkward situation, this trip just wasn’t thought out properly.
    Yeah, it sounds like a set up for all kinds of awkward. However, it's not too late for you to assert some boundaries and change and plan out some things differently to minimize the problems. I still think that you need to talk to both your bestie and her bf very strongly about not wanting to be anywhere near goob and drive that point home for them.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Do you want to reignite the romance/sex?
    I'm curious about this, too, and curious if you can provide an honest answer.

    On one hand, you describe this guy as, well, a goob. As in: the sort of dude you stay away form, now that he's shown his goobiness.

    On the other, you are clearly excited that he's viewing your social media stories, and rather than see this whole LA trip for what it is—a big ol' recipe for drama—and taking the steps to make it drama-free, you're leaning into all the drama, hard.

    No judgement, really. But just be honest with yourself about what you're doing, which is engaging with Goob. You're reigniting...something. You're fanning the drama flames—and, hey, that's totally cool if that sounds genuinely fun and frisky. Been there. But just own it. No power comes from playing the damsel who is suddenly in, you know, a totally "weird situation." It's only weird if you choose to make it weird.

    Reading between the lines, I think you want to have sex with him, or at least want him to try to have sex with you, so you can (a) mess with him; (b) get laid; (c) feel power/vengeance in making him realize what he missed; or (d) some half-thought combo of all of the above that seems a little dangerous, a little delicious.

    Thing about goobs and probably this Goob? They're never nearly as invested in these games as you are. He's down to pick you up, hang, maybe get laid, maybe not. Maybe he gets that high of spewing some lofty lovebombing stuff again, maybe not. All good. Ain't none of this twisting him into a knot since, after all, you'll be gone in a flash. He likes that part. He's always liked that part.

    High road advice: either cancel the trip or find a sure way to avoid Goob. You're an adult—pay your own way. If you want to have some fluttery LA fun with a goob—all good. But make it a new goob, you know, not Old Goob who can twist you into a knot just by calling you after the gym instead of before the gym.

    Your thirst for some power over this d-bag is at real risk of only disempowering you more.

  8. #17
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    [QUOTE=bluecastle;7085582]I'm curious about this, too, and curious if you can provide an honest answer.

    On one hand, you describe this guy as, well, a goob. As in: the sort of dude you stay away form, now that he's shown his goobiness.

    On the other, you are clearly excited that he's viewing your social media stories, and rather than see this whole LA trip for what it is—a big ol' recipe for drama—and taking the steps to make it drama-free, you're leaning into all the drama, hard.

    No judgement, really. But just be honest with yourself about what you're doing, which is engaging with Goob. You're reigniting...something. You're fanning the drama flames—and, hey, that's totally cool if that sounds genuinely fun and frisky. Been there. But just own it. No power comes from playing the damsel who is suddenly in, you know, a totally "weird situation." It's only weird if you choose to make it weird.

    Reading between the lines, I think you want to have sex with him, or at least want him to try to have sex with you, so you can (a) mess with him; (b) get laid; (c) feel power/vengeance in making him realize what he missed; or (d) some half-thought combo of all of the above that seems a little dangerous, a little delicious.

    Thing about goobs and probably this Goob? They're never nearly as invested in these games as you are. He's down to pick you up, hang, maybe get laid, maybe not. Maybe he gets that high of spewing some lofty lovebombing stuff again, maybe not. All good. Ain't none of this twisting him into a knot since, after all, you'll be gone in a flash. He likes that part. He's always liked that part.

    High road advice: either cancel the trip or find a sure way to avoid Goob. You're an adult—pay your own way. If you want to have some fluttery LA fun with a goob—all good. But make it a new goob, you know, not Old Goob who can twist you into a knot just by calling you after the gym instead of before the gym.

    Your thirst for some power over this d-bag is at real risk of only disempowering you more.[/QUOTE



    I’ll just avoid Goob. Reading everything and seeing things from everyone’s perspectives just let’s me see things for what they are rather than being blinded from what I want to believe.
    Thank you for this honest comment. Needed it.

  9. #18
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    Originally Posted by bluecastle
    I'm curious about this, too, and curious if you can provide an honest answer.

    On one hand, you describe this guy as, well, a goob. As in: the sort of dude you stay away form, now that he's shown his goobiness.

    On the other, you are clearly excited that he's viewing your social media stories, and rather than see this whole LA trip for what it is—a big ol' recipe for drama—and taking the steps to make it drama-free, you're leaning into all the drama, hard.

    No judgement, really. But just be honest with yourself about what you're doing, which is engaging with Goob. You're reigniting...something. You're fanning the drama flames—and, hey, that's totally cool if that sounds genuinely fun and frisky. Been there. But just own it. No power comes from playing the damsel who is suddenly in, you know, a totally "weird situation." It's only weird if you choose to make it weird.

    Reading between the lines, I think you want to have sex with him, or at least want him to try to have sex with you, so you can (a) mess with him; (b) get laid; (c) feel power/vengeance in making him realize what he missed; or (d) some half-thought combo of all of the above that seems a little dangerous, a little delicious.

    Thing about goobs and probably this Goob? They're never nearly as invested in these games as you are. He's down to pick you up, hang, maybe get laid, maybe not. Maybe he gets that high of spewing some lofty lovebombing stuff again, maybe not. All good. Ain't none of this twisting him into a knot since, after all, you'll be gone in a flash. He likes that part. He's always liked that part.

    High road advice: either cancel the trip or find a sure way to avoid Goob. You're an adult—pay your own way. If you want to have some fluttery LA fun with a goob—all good. But make it a new goob, you know, not Old Goob who can twist you into a knot just by calling you after the gym instead of before the gym.

    Your thirst for some power over this d-bag is at real risk of only disempowering you more.




    I’ll just avoid Goob. Reading everything and seeing things from everyone’s perspectives just let’s me see things for what they are rather than being blinded from what I want to believe.
    Thank you for this honest comment. Needed it. I really didn’t know what to do about the situation.

  10. #19
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by MebbieU
    I’ll just avoid Goob. Reading everything and seeing things from everyone’s perspectives just let’s me see things for what they are rather than being blinded from what I want to believe.
    Thank you for this honest comment. Needed it. I really didn’t know what to do about the situation.
    No problem.

    I've tangoed with more than a few Goobettes in my time, and recognize a certain wiring in me that is drawn to Goobettes, so rest assured I'm not preaching from the pulpit.

  11. #20
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    I don't understand why you would contact this guy, or agree to any of this. He treated you like sh*t, yet you are going back for more.

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