Shady of my bf?

So I'm really struggling as this showed a new side of my bf that I don't like. I have been debating for years to buy a gaming system and I finally made the decision. The pro version was on sale and just a little bit more expensive then the regular one. My bf wanted to make a exchange for the better version. The gaming system is say 400, the upgraded one was 450. My bf would give me 50 dollars plus his gaming system (he bought it several years ago) for my new one. Instead of paying 400 for a new system, I would be paying 400 for a used one (same version). That really got to me as I would be the one losing out. Its not about the money or the system, its principle that my bf would rip me off. Btw I said no and I told him how I felt. He played it off as nothing. Btw I buy my own stuff that I want, I don't depend on anyone to buy it for me.

I don't understand the issue, you bought something that you wanted. He wanted it and offered you a trade of some sort. You identified that it was not a fair trade and said no. All the while you told him that you didn't appreciate it. He played it off as it was no big deal to him. Perhaps you feel like he shouldn't of done that to you because you are his girlfriend. You are probably saying "how could he do or tried to do this to me when he is supposed to look out for me?" Just know I understand how you feel and what you feel. Think of it in his shoes a bit without emotional attachment to the situation. He is thinking logically, he probably recognized the fact that perhaps because you don't use it as much or he was just a bit more selfish to offer you the deal. You said no and it was no big deal to him. He is probably not even thinking anything after that of the exchange in conversation. Let it go~ watch forzen, listen to song, Let it go~

I don't understand the issue, you bought something that you wanted. He wanted it and offered you a trade of some sort. You identified that it was not a fair trade and said no. All the while you told him that you didn't appreciate it. He played it off as it was no big deal to him. Perhaps you feel like he shouldn't of done that to you because you are his girlfriend. You are probably saying "how could he do or tried to do this to me when he is supposed to look out for me?" Just know I understand how you feel and what you feel. Think of it in his shoes a bit without emotional attachment to the situation. He is thinking logically, he probably recognized the fact that perhaps because you don't use it as much or he was just a bit more selfish to offer you the deal. You said no and it was no big deal to him. He is probably not even thinking anything after that of the exchange in conversation. Let it go~ watch forzen, listen to song, Let it go~

The big thing is the fact that he offered the crappy deal in the 1st place.

The big thing is the fact that he offered the crappy deal in the 1st place.

I also think you should let it go. You said no and that's all that matters. Just because he offered a deal you didn't want, doesn't mean he's shady.

Besides, if you believe that, then what are you going to do more about it? Break up? You already told him your feelings and he shared his own opinion about it not being a big deal. Perhaps offer a counter offer next time. This is a silly argument to pursue any further.

Maybe you've just learned your boyfriend is cheap or dishonest. If he had traded it in, he probably would have only gotten $200-$250 in trade. That's a pretty bad deal. That's what he should have sold it to you for.

You also got it on sale. Did he know?

Maybe you've just learned your boyfriend is cheap or dishonest. If he had traded it in, he probably would have only gotten $200-$250 in trade. That's a pretty bad deal. That's what he should have sold it to you for.

This is exactly my point! No way I would pay the full price for a used one!

Then propose a counter offer. People don't look these things up, so state what you want it for and see if he agrees. If he says no then no one loses out. Buy it yourself at that point.

Making this one incident out to label him as cheap is a bit much. He proposed a deal, just come up with another one you think is more fair and this is a done deal. Why make this more than it has to be?

Can I trade you a 1999 beater for a 2018 Maserati? No?

Is he a smart fellow?

Cause I'd wonder if he's not that bright, or really just that greedy when it comes down to it .

And this is a video game system, not something truly big. Glints of character come through in things like this. I don't think it's nothing. Try to screw me over with a little thing, why would I trust to deal with you on a bigger one.

Is he a smart fellow?

Cause I'd wonder if he's not that bright, or really just that greedy when it comes down to it .

 

And this is a video game system, not something truly big. Glints of character come through in things like this. I don't think it's nothing. Try to screw me over with a little thing, why would I trust to deal with you on a bigger one.

I've talked to my family and they have observed that he isn't all that bright. The problem as well is that he believes himself to be super goal oriented. Since we started dating (almost a year), he has done nothing to change his sub par job, talking about going to school, but always making excuses as to why he can't go (no time, no money, too long, too expensive etc). I struggle w/goals, so I don't even tell people how great I am at goal setting.

I couldn't care less about the gaming system, just his action and I'm afraid he will look at ways to take advantage of me.

Then propose a counter offer. People don't look these things up, so state what you want it for and see if he agrees. If he says no then no one loses out. Buy it yourself at that point.

 

Making this one incident out to label him as cheap is a bit much. He proposed a deal, just come up with another one you think is more fair and this is a done deal. Why make this more than it has to be?

I wasn't looking to make a deal lol, its my bf not craigslist.

I've talked to my family and they have observed that he isn't all that bright. The problem as well is that he believes himself to be super goal oriented. Since we started dating (almost a year), he has done nothing to change his sub par job, talking about going to school, but always making excuses as to why he can't go (no time, no money, too long, too expensive etc). I struggle w/goals, so I don't even tell people how great I am at goal setting.

 

I couldn't care less about the gaming system, just his action and I'm afraid he will look at ways to take advantage of me.

Well he can't take advantage of you, because clearly you are much brighter than him.

Well he can't take advantage of you, because clearly you are much brighter than him.

He won't be able to take advantage of me, doesn't mean he can't try again or that he won't get mad me for not letting him.

Your original question was "Shady of my Bf?

You have obviously come to the conclusion he is shady and probably shady moving forward. Are you upset that if you say no to his shady requests that he will get upset? Or are you upset that you know he's shady but don't want to accept it.

I wasn't looking to make a deal lol, its my bf not craigslist.

...but you were making a deal initially but weren't happy with it??

Is he a smart fellow?

Cause I'd wonder if he's not that bright, or really just that greedy when it comes down to it .

 

And this is a video game system, not something truly big. Glints of character come through in things like this. I don't think it's nothing. Try to screw me over with a little thing, why would I trust to deal with you on a bigger one.

This pretty much echoes my thoughts. And this:

Well he can't take advantage of you, because clearly you are much brighter than him.

If it was me, I'd ask him if he thought I was stupid, and/or why he's trying to make money off of his girlfriend.

I have to agree that he's not that bright or he's a con artist thinking you're not that bright. I think it's bad behavior on his part and shows how self centered he is. I see it as he will rip you off for his needs. It's a red flag!

How does he treat financial matters generally when it comes to you? Is he generous? Does he nickle and dime you, etc. I agree it was tacky of him and it wouldn't sit right with me either. Do you otherwise respect and admire him?

Then propose a counter offer. People don't look these things up, so state what you want it for and see if he agrees. If he says no then no one loses out. Buy it yourself at that point.

 

Making this one incident out to label him as cheap is a bit much. He proposed a deal, just come up with another one you think is more fair and this is a done deal. Why make this more than it has to be?

Yes, OP, you are making a big deal out of this. You dont like what he offered, make a counter offer.

I'm curious. Did he approach you with an unsolicited offer for your system? How did the conversation actually go? For me, it's one thing if he walked in, saw your PS4 Pro, and said, "Hey, I'll give you my PS4 + $50 for it." Not sure I'd get bent up over it, but I can see how you'd feel disrespected. It's a whole other thing if at some point you asked him what he'd be willing to pay / trade for it, and he candidly offered the extent to which he was willing or able to pay along with the trade. I'm finding it hard to imagine him coming in with a top hat and giving you a crap offer just for the hell of it.

I'm curious. Did he approach you with an unsolicited offer for your system? How did the conversation actually go? For me, it's one thing if he walked in, saw your PS4 Pro, and said, "Hey, I'll give you my PS4 + $50 for it." Not sure I'd get bent up over it, but I can see how you'd feel disrespected. It's a whole other thing if at some point you asked him what he'd be willing to pay / trade for it, and he candidly offered the extent to which he was willing or able to pay along with the trade. I'm finding it hard to imagine him coming in with a top hat and giving you a crap offer just for the hell of it.

I consulted him about buying the ps4, he did his offer just as I was buying it.

How does he treat financial matters generally when it comes to you? Is he generous? Does he nickle and dime you, etc. I agree it was tacky of him and it wouldn't sit right with me either. Do you otherwise respect and admire him?

He treats me well financially, def does not nickle and dime me. I've dated my share of cheapskates and users, but he doesn't fill that category.

There are things that bother me as well, he thinks he is really smart and can sometimes come across as arrogant.

On the surface, I’m not sure this would bother me.

In his head, he was probably thinking his console was worth $400. That’s what they were selling for in the stores and that’s probably what he paid for it at the time. I agree that you should probably factor in depreciation... but I mean... to get this bent up about it and assume he had nefarious intentions...

Only you know his personality. You are better placed to discern if it was a scheme or a simple mistake.

He may also be factoring in that you are his girlfriend and therefore would not try to nickel and dime HIM over depreciation. Especially if you are not a big gamer.

Unless there was a history of scheming, this would not bother me to this extent. You have a valid point about the depreciation... but... all it takes is a “no”.

He treats me well financially, def does not nickle and dime me. I've dated my share of cheapskates and users, but he doesn't fill that category.

 

There are things that bother me as well, he thinks he is really smart and can sometimes come across as arrogant.

Do you think there is a more deep rooted issue to this from other things that bother you and the game console is just the tip of the iceberg?