Second date cooking dinner

I've spoken FaceTime with this very nice man for an hour - while I was w my family. When I came back to the city we met for a dinner. I went home with him to have tea on his promise that he would behave. He has kept his promise and send me home in a cab. This time for a date he asked me to set much ahead of time - because he has family/guests staying.

I just got a text from him on our day that he would like to cook simple dinner and watch a movie.

I would ordinarily say no - but I have been to his house and would like to see him, and since nothing has happened can I say yes on a premise to ask him again to behave?

What happens on a Netflix and chill date at his place is up to you, not him. Do you drive? Why did he have to "send you home in a cab"? Do you plan on drinking a lot? Much depends on what you are wishing will or won't happen.

What happens on a Netflix and chill date at his place is up to you, not him.

So it's perfectly fine to accept without it meaning that it's invitation for intimacy ?

LOL @ him telling you he would "behave." The way he phrased that and all.

As if to suggest desiring to have sex with a woman he's attracted to is "misbehaving."

Guys are funny sometimes..

What happens on a Netflix and chill date at his place is up to you, not him. Do you drive? Why did he have to "send you home in a cab"? Do you plan on drinking a lot? Much depends on what you are wishing will or won't happen.

I don't drink at all really. I think it's because I live a bit far.

Your instincts tell you he is setting you up for a sexual encounter and you are right. A better way to change the pace is to decline, and offer an alternative. "I would enjoy seeing you again and regret I am not available for dinner on Thursday evening (because I bet it isn't a weekend invite). Would you be interested in going for a hike on Saturday?"

The more you have private dates at his house, the more he will move towards misbehaving. He has you comfortable in his own surroundings already.

'Come in,' said the spider to the fly, 'it's safe inside, safe from the prying eyes of the world...'

The more you have private dates at his house, the more he will move towards misbehaving. He has you comfortable in his own surroundings already.

 

'Come in,' said the spider to the fly, 'it's safe inside, safe from the prying eyes of the world...'

Yes I am quite comfortable with him. I actually really much enjoyed conversation privately than publicly. It's supposed to be tonight.

Why on a weeknight the day before valentine's day? Are you exclusive? Or both still seeing others? Is this to save money on taking you out or prevent misunderstanding about being too serious too soon?

I actually really much enjoyed conversation privately than publicly. It's supposed to be tonight.

Why on a weeknight the day before valentine's day? Are you exclusive? Or both still seeing others? Is this to save money on taking you out or prevent misunderstanding about being too serious too soon?

He was out of town for last two weeks and hosting his family. Our face to face date was mid January almost a month ago - we wrote to each other briefly to coordinate between. He asked me out on a date during the date when he sent me home in a cab but because of his absence the timeline has been extended.

I think it's not serious too soon but he is interested so am I, I have been to his house and he was/is a decent person I'm just trying to gauge as to whether it means 100 percent intimacy which I would decline or it's a nice way to spend time together which is perfectly fine.

I am typically open minded about these things. Someone cooking me dinner doesn't mean he's going to bed me. . even if he wanted to.

But why create the 'potential opportunity' too soon?

This just begs the question: It's only your 2nd your date. Why wouldn't you prefer to do something in public as opposed to private?

- I've just met enough creepy guys in my life that out of the gate seeeeeemed really nice. Call me naïve, but I've been sadly mistaken.

Safety first.

What's your aversion to restaurants?

He's obviously working his way up to getting you between the sheets. With that said, if you agree to having date #2 at his home again, he'll think he's hit gold.

You're assisting him in setting the stage, yet it's your call.

Why are people these days so opposed to getting dinner or coffee outside the house. It's your SECOND date lol jeez. You're looking somewhat easy.

He's obviously working his way up to getting you between the sheets. With that said, if you agree to having date #2 at his home again, he'll think he's hit gold.

 

You're assisting him in setting the stage, yet it's your call.

Look at it this way. Spending time in someone's home and having them cook for you is - intimate.

Intimacy is something you work towards.

It doesn't matter what your intentions might be. . but you've just skipped a few important steps in the scheme of dating.

You really don't know this guy, even if you have face timed him.

You can have just as much fun in public and let things unfold without skipping over some of the courting milestones.

Besides, you'll give this guy the message that you have standards and are careful. . as you should be.

I am not saying don't have dinner at his house. But something compelled you to ask the question to begin with.

I think you should listen to that voice.

-That's my take on it.

Speaking only for myself, I wouldn't have gone to a stranger's home in the first place, much less do it a second time.

Are you trying to 'win' the guy, or get to know him?

I hope it went ok. There is no need to question his impression because before you go there you have a simple direct conversation "I'm happy to come over and I'm not ready to have sex with you so I do not want you to get the wrong impression".

But, i would have made a different choice for the second time you meet him in person - other than one of your homes. I agree with Catfeeder and Reinvent, etc.

I hope it went ok. There is no need to question his impression because before you go there you have a simple direct conversation "I'm happy to come over and I'm not ready to have sex with you so I do not want you to get the wrong impression".

 

But, i would have made a different choice for the second time you meet him in person - other than one of your homes. I agree with Catfeeder and Reinvent, etc.

Yes thank you so much for all the advice.

I wrote to him that I will come if he promises to behave. He replied that he would.

I had very nice time and a good dinner and conversation, watched a little bit of tv and he said he tried to behave very well. He kissed me a little bit - nothing beyond what it was in first date and he sent me home in an uber.

I think he is a decent person. I really enjoyed the dinner and the effort. Thank you so much for the emotional and logistical support, I deeply appreciate it. I will try to have the next date out.

Glad it went ok. I would avoid situations from now on where you feel you have to ask him to behave. That's two dates and you already asked twice.

what if you go to his house and he does behave himself? he did the last time. maybe he's the type who likes the woman to initiate any intimacy (like me) then he's not accused of being a pervert/only after one thing.

go to his house if you like spending time with him. nothing will happen if you dont want it to.

have fun.

Just curious --

Do you drive? Does he come pick you up and bring you to his house?

Also, for a 3rd date, since intimacy is uncomfortable for you, i would suggest an activity. Go bowling, or ziplining, or hiking, etc.

OP, A passing thought for your consideration:

Your practice of setting boundaries is a good one. As a check on your health, give a listen to your inner voice. Do you appreciate the non-sexual reasons someone might enjoy your company?