Please help me with this! "Behavioral Issues"

I Love this forum because you can very very genuine and confess everything about yourself without getting judged.

Before writing a post here, A huge thanks to Dancing Fool, Thekeyman, Pippy Longstocking, Dias, Boltnrun, SleekAvacado- You guys have helped me a lot in my worst phase. Thank you so so much! Love you all.

I think I am a Narcissist. I have issues only and only with my father and brother. I am a bossy type, very aggressive and furious. Since childhood I argue with my father a lot. I don't want to neither I do it deliberately but it just happens. So basically we've arguments on cultural, superstitious beliefs etc. On the other hand my brother is very, very smart and I feel he's overconfident person because he keep teaching me this or that and is always way ahead of me. He's actually a knowledge seeker and I am not. I am lethargic, closed brain type.

Okay, the thing is: I am sick of myself and all the problems are with me:

1. I am a very talkative personality, my talks never have any content. I give lecturers to others and I myself do nothing. I want to change this habit of mine

2. I am very aggressive, furious, ready to argue over anything. I am sick of it! I want to change this

3. Internally, I know everyone has their own ideas and beliefs and I do respect them. But i don't know why every talk with my father turns into an argument

whereas it doesn't happen between my mother and I. I don't want to argue with my daddy on anything whether he's right or wrong. I just want to learn how to keep my mouth shut and how to tolerate or acclimatize to the unfavorable situations

4. How to forgive yourself for the past mistakes and carry on moving forward.

5. How to have your own standards? How to leave behind the comfort zone?

6. What are the ways to personally grow?

One more question, Does virtual relationship count as a relationship? *Please read the posts related to it, in my profile for more details regarding it*

Please somebody guide me towards the light.

See a therapist and ask what they think. People go to WebMD and think they have cancer but nobody but a doctor can tell you that.

It is good that you recognize the problems and wish to change.

Sounds like you have a lot of insecurity and anger issues. Perhaps, they would pass if you were happier with yourself. Finish your education, get a job and motivate yourself in other areas.

I also suggest a counselor to deal with your issues.

Yes I agree you need therapy so please look into that. IMO a virtual relationship is not a real relationship, it's very far from it.

Yes I agree you need therapy so please look into that. IMO a virtual relationship is not a real relationship, it's very far from it.

I agree. They are fantasy.

Therapy and lots of alone time to self-reflect and identify what's going on internally for you. I think you will find if you google certain things like "anger issues" or "how to be less argumentative", you can read other's experiences and suggestions. This may lead you to identify other things you wish to work on or understand about yourself.

Just remember that it takes a lot of time and self-compassion to identify what's going on and figure out how to change. It's a very personal process. I think it would be viable to avoid dating and limit your interactions with people who you have difficult interactions with while you work on yourself

It's very rewarding if you see it through, but not everyone bothers to try because life just gets so busy. Make time for your relationship with yourself, as cliche as that sounds

I agree with the others that a virtual relationship is not a real relationship, no. There are too many elements missing from an online romance and they're usually fantasy-based. Not the healthiest option.

It's good that you recognize room for improvement within yourself. Whether or not you're a Narcissist is something only a qualified and experienced professional could ascertain, so do make an appointment with a therapist if you can. They can help you get to the root of these issues and guide with you effective coping mechanisms when you feel your anger or insecurity spiking.

The anger and chronic combativeness you describe may indicate mood disorders or some other process. First get checked by a physician to rule out physical causes then ask for a referral to a psychiatrist and talk therapist to approach this from the brain chemistry as well as cognition and habit standpoints.

I'm not a psychologist, but I don't think you are a narcissist. I do think you should see someone about your concerns to put your mind at rest. I think you have very poor self-esteem and that you set very high standards for yourself, and that you are also depressed.

I'm not a psychologist, but I don't think you are a narcissist. I do think you should see someone about your concerns to put your mind at rest. I think you have very poor self-esteem and that you set very high standards for yourself, and that you are also depressed.

^This. Totally agree.

As for arguing with your dad, it takes two. It's important that you recognize that aspect. Some people will trigger us. So you solve it by recognizing what those triggers are. Once you recognize what the various triggers are, then you can learn how to avoid them, deal with them differently, etc. Like change topic, interrupt the argument before it has a chance to get going by getting up and going to get water or something. Literally, physically removing yourself from combat. Avoiding or not engaging in certain topics.

In your case in particular, learn to understand that when someone has a different opinion or point of view, it does not invalidate your own point of view. Don't seek validation through agreement. Your point of view is already valid. When you internalize this, you'll find that you no longer feel the need to force others to see things your way or get angry that they don't. You'll be able to shrug and walk away in peace.

Btw, thank you for the thank you. :)

Depending on how old you are, arguing with your father and your brother sounds like what a teenager would do.

If you are full grown, not so normal anymore.

Seek therapy, especially since you feel as though things are not right and you want to change.