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glitterfingers

Gold Member
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glitterfingers last won the day on March 18 2018

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About glitterfingers

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  1. I'm inclined to say she's not interested. This is what gives it away: "Great chemistry" requires reciprocation. If you can't tell where she's at, and you're making guesses that it's because she's unaware or afraid of it, then it's not a two-way feeling. When the chemistry and attraction are mutual, it's obvious - eye contact, body language and conversational topics/words align. And both parties will generally verbally acknowledge it early on. She just sees you as a good friend and enjoys your company. I'm not saying that can't change, but sounds like you need to put some bound
  2. Haven't read the other threads, but would seem to me like he is just going about his life and not overly concerned about the fate of the friendship...that probably comes with an assumption that you guys will work it out over time if you're to stay friends, and that if you don't work it out then it's probably not a friendship worth holding onto. I'd say at this point that while you may have common interests/values and a bond formed over the years, the "connection" you're referring to is your feelings towards him. For the time being, the emotional distance is appropriate until you've had a c
  3. This. Some life lessons have no shortcuts. But also, screening the advice of others and determining how it fits into your situation is part of the learning process. People give advice based on their experiences and what they've learned, some of it will apply to you and some of it won't...takes considerable self-awareness to know the difference.
  4. Can't delete those frustrated comments above but, for the record, I'm grateful for the perspectives. I do feel guilty and I am questioning my decisions in how I approached the situation, so I think I have something to learn here. But I stand by the decision to do something rather than nothing.
  5. If you're going to question my motives, at least make it interesting and tell me what you think they are - what could I possibly gain from this? Yesterday was so emotionally exhausting for me. When I say "for some reason" I mean I can't explain why yesterday of all days, I woke up and this gut feeling of dread was strong enough for me to act on it. Probably the fact that I knew the ex might go see my friend that day and that they might get into another domestic dispute. There are some instincts that are hard to ignore "Admitting" she was suicidal came after a 30 minute negotiation on th
  6. Yeah - that's my feeling on the situation regarding the possibility of a mentally unstable person bringing a child into the world with virtually no way to provide for it, and without the explicit consent of the father. Not sure if people realise this is another type of domestic abuse - "reproductive violence" I don't really care if people think I was gossiping because I know that I wasn't - and I also know the intricacies of the situation a lot better than any of you. When I say I "admitted" to certain things, what I am referring to is the process of me sending this person a message o
  7. Yeah, I don't want to enable her, but I also would get hit really hard if she did actually commit suicide. I keep asking myself, if that happened, would her family forgive me for keeping her secrets? Not sure about this class... I guess i'll find out
  8. Also.. this guy suggested getting her committed to a psych ward based on her history. But yeah, I don't want to get any more involved and I've left it with him
  9. I didn't say she didn't have a point, for the record, what I said is that I don't think it's as cut and dry as she makes it out to be. Also - if I didn't want to be this friend's person anymore, would I still be considered to be backstabbing her? Because in all honesty it goes against my values to be friends with someone who does those things. What I said specifically to the exes friend was that I was concerned and felt that they could both use some space... he said he was concerned too and kept me on the phone for 30 minutes until i admitted to him why I felt that way and told him all that
  10. Either way, what's done is done. The question now is how to handle the situation moving forward.
  11. I'm sorry that I can't agree with you on that point. I feel like if the genders were reversed, your response would be completely different. If it were the case that I am the male friend of a violent guy who is not using protection when sleeping with his ex girlfriend because he's trying to get her pregnant, and has been violent towards her but then follows the standard pattern of apologising and luring that person back in, you'd say - yes it's ok to get involved and alert this woman's friend (who doesn't know about the violence because the woman is keeping it a secret). Especially if y
  12. I agree with you in terms of morals. What I don't agree with is the assumption that she/he are capable of acting as rational human beings ... that's clearly not true, even if we wish it were Are you telling me that if your friend was involved in a domestic violence situation, you wouldn't tell anyone that could intervene?
  13. I didn't tell when I first found out she's trying to get pregnant. It was after she told me that she attacked her ex, then apologised and smoothed the situation over, but was trying to see him again and felt like he deserved to be attacked
  14. She told me about 6-8 weeks ago that she had thoughts of jumping off the roof of her apartment building. I don't know much else because in the last month she's become increasingly withdrawn, secretive and deceptive which is something her exes friend and I established today. I know that's sometimes a warning sign but there's nothing I can really do
  15. That's how I felt during and afterwards - that I'd never do this to a friend. Hence my insane guilt. But I think this is about two different moral situations... One is the morals of friendship. But the other is the morals involved in knowing that someone is a danger to themselves and someone else, and they won't get help for it. What would you do in that situation? Nothing?
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