Bad grades; Children OR parent's fault??

**This is just a general question btw***

Personally, I say YES, providing the child is under 15, I believe that children that age ARE NOT MATURE ENOUGH to be given such a high level of responsibility, it's actually EXTREMELY UNFAIR. You are literally telling a child, "If you fail now, it will RUIN YOUR LIFE FOREVER", you would never actually say this to a child... so why do most people believe in this?

I honestly think if you encourage a child to do well... THEY WILL

If you provide them with enough encouragement, support, resources and authority to allow them to succeed, they will.

If Child A was raised in a family that provided this to them and Child B was raised in a family where no one ever bothered with their education in the slightest, then it's blatantly obvious who would do better, most people agree with me when I say Child A YETT those same people still disagree with me saying it's the parents fault??

It's definitely true that Child B would never get accepted into Harvard, Yale, Oxford or Cambridge and I think that's a sad thought. It's horrible to think their lives were pretty much decided for them.

With some eduction systems, failing a few classes at age 15 could put a huge dent in your academic career and could even completely ruin it.

Children look up to adults, in their eyes we are all geniuses, if you act like your child's education doesn't matter then they will honestly believe that and that's sad. I think it's so horrible when I here about parents not helping out with their children's school work etc

What do you guys think??

Are 15 and under year olds responsible for their eduction or not??

They share responsibility with their parents. It is the parent's responsibility to support the child's education and it is the child's responsibility to do the work.

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink !

A child still has to want to do it and with all the blessings and support of parents a child can still fail . ( I don't actually like the word fail , using it just for context )

15 year olds are responsible for their behavior, habits, and performance, and what they do with their circumstances.

Do you have children, OP? What ages?

Depends. I was placed in the "gifted program" (their term) going into 1st Grade. I played along and got my free Hardee's cookie every report card, but I was never conceptually a fan of school or proving myself in one way or another through grades. I don't think I was necessarily arrogant as much as I was just fine knowing that I knew what I knew. I'd always destroyed in my aptitude tests, so throughout middle school and high school, they kept putting me in accelerated classes and I gradually went from doing the bare minimum to adopting an "I ain't doing homework anymore" policy. My mom tried a lot of things from positive reinforcement to her trademark Catholic guilt to punishment and I was still pretty much, "Sorry, I'm not doing it."

Luckily, none of my teachers really had the heart to fail me. Some made exceptions like weighing my tests heavily or entirely against my overall class grade. I had one awesome Auto-CAD teacher who noticed I enjoyed helping the other students out and so he struck a bargain with me to base my grade off the other students' grades.

As my lady Pips says, you can only do so much for some people, even kids. I am lucky that my sidechick (Pippy will always be my #1) has a very good income and hopefully, if and when we have a kid, we can afford a more tailored and less rigid academic structure built upon a self-motivated but still practical expansion of knowledge.

So I'd say, at least with younger children (agreed with the consensus as far as teens go), it's not really the child's fault as much as it is the institution's, parent's, or a combination of both.

(Edit: Blamed lil' kids and didn't mean to)

It takes both. Humans learn the most from failing and learning from it. My sister in law didn't graduate on stage while attending high school. She received her GED. After that attended community college/University and after graduated with honors with bachelor in business administration and political science. She will be attending law school this fall.

My son has autism and four learning disabilities. I definitely supported his education and fought hard for his IEP and accommodations. He still had to be responsible for doing the work . He never brought homework home, ever . He graduated high school with honours and is in college now . I supported him he did the work .

OP are you a parent? Are you a teacher or educator?

I have two kids, one did incredibly well in school and the other had a tough time even tho they were raised the same way. The younger one was not interested in school very much beyond the playing aspect of it. He was given plenty of attention and encouragement from many people, including us, his parents. Teachers and the principal did their best to encourage him and help him succeed, learn to be organized too, but he really wasn't interested. He did pass his classes and in high school when he could choose classes that interested him he did well. He liked the hands on classes of tech course, auto shop, computers, wood working. The book study classes did not interest him so he didnt do well at those. It's who he is. He did graduate college because he was able to pick courses that interested him.

Like me, if he's interested in something he's fine, if he's not then you likely won't win with him. The difference is I was very clever in school and tried hard to succeed, he didnt much care, until he got to college.

I think your thinking is off base.

No blanket rules. Depends on the child he teachers the school and the particular assignments and tests. As much as I have that darn parental instinct to do for my 8 year old I see my role as fostering his independence and resilience including letting him experience failure. I cannot stand when parents do their kids creative projects. I was a teacher of young hildren as well. I never thought my grades were my parents responsibility but they did a wonderful job raising me and teaching me and encouraging me.

I have known it be quite the opposite of your thoughts op ...kids who have just been left to their own devices, no one really caring and they have made the decision to be the best they can , to get out of their situation , to make sure they do better ...

I also know parents who have the money for private tuition and every hour of their kids life is spent on study ....given the money , I still wouldn't have pushed that kind of life on my daughter .

My son has autism and four learning disabilities. I definitely supported his education and fought hard for his IEP and accommodations. He still had to be responsible for doing the work . He never brought homework home, ever . He graduated high school with honours and is in college now . I supported him he did the work .

He is a superstar vic

Children look up to adults, in their eyes we are all geniuses

yes if the child is 7 .....get to 13/14/15 and we are sh1t on their shoe !

Is all this because you got a job as a T/A

yes if the child is 7 .....get to 13/14/15 and we are sh1t on their shoe !

 

Is all this because you got a job as a T/A

Hahahaha yup!! Raising a teenager's like getting pecked to death by a chicken!

Hahahaha yup!! Raising a teenager's like getting pecked to death by a chicken!

Good god vic if you saw the looks I get off emily these days .. utter disgust hahahahahaha

Good god vic if you saw the looks I get off emily these days .. utter disgust hahahahahaha

I get the eye rolling and the ugh I have to spend time with you look. Lol

They share responsibility with their parents. It is the parent's responsibility to support the child's education and it is the child's responsibility to do the work.

I like this answer a whole lot.

Even at ages earlier than 15, you can't force a child to do the work (and you most certainly should not be doing it for them.) You can, and should, encourage them to do it and provide them with the resources they need to complete it/offer guidance where appropriate - that doesn't stop at any age, even college level.

At young ages, the consequences are natural and less devastating than at older ages...but should lay the foundation for a young person to see: If I don't complete my homework, x happens. The consequences naturally escalate as they get older as well.

I like this answer a whole lot.

 

Even at ages earlier than 15, you can't force a child to do the work (and you most certainly should not be doing it for them.) You can, and should, encourage them to do it and provide them with the resources they need to complete it/offer guidance where appropriate - that doesn't stop at any age, even college level.

 

At young ages, the consequences are natural and less devastating than at older ages...but should lay the foundation for a young person to see: If I don't complete my homework, x happens. The consequences naturally escalate as they get older as well.

I agree consequences are part of life . Even the young have to learn that .

Kid, parents and culture. In some communities it's cool to be an underachiever. UGH.

I have noticed with certain communities within my city, these kids are pushed especially hard by parents and community to exceed, otherwise it is an embarrassment. Result, the are getting into great schools, receiving scholarships and getting great jobs.

I think that the Americans has become especially lazy, with a lack of parental and societal pressures to achieve. This is why we have the highest illiteracy rate in the Western World. Dumping more money into the schools will not help, if there is no support from parents and community.

Lastly, there is complete lack of responsibility within our culture.

My hubby is a genious, but totally disinterested in school, so of course sat in the class like a trouble-maker. I taught for 6 years; 2 in private, 2 public, and kids who want to succeed or study hard, just do. 15 years old, um, holy hell, why would it take that long for them to be invested in their education? If a parent is invested in the learning, that's wonderful, but it does not guarantee success, nor is it a requirement for a child to succeed.

My parents would lie and say they didn't speak english, so teachers would spend more time with me. And I never had them help with any of my homework. I was always placed in advanced Math and English.

Drive; it doesn't come from your parents; it is something a person has or develops.

Bad grades; Children OR parent's fault??

I don't view it as productive to view any cooperative effort through a lens of 'fault' or 'blame'.

Whether it be a doctor, a teacher, a project manager, a parent, or anyone else in a position of responsibility, you won't find the successful ones 'blaming' a person or a process, but rather they'll make skilled inquiries to uncover specific issues, and then they'll consider potential remedies to apply and monitor.

So each child being unique, the first place I'd start asking questions is of the child to uncover his or her opinions on the sources of their barriers to learning. I'd reward their efforts to help me understand their experience, and I'd continually work with them to uncover specific troubles and encourage better results.

Blanket assumptions aren't useful. Whenever WE don't address specifics with individuals, then WE are the ones at fault.

I should also share, my mom had zero help from her family, and she got a scholarship to stay in school. In China, where she's from; having a girl go to school was so not the norm. She could only go after all her chores at the farm were done. She would also find books, so her mom wouldn't take them away. And she also had to take care of her 3 younger brothers by the age of 8 because her mom had tuberculosis, and her dad was a degenerate gambler. Heck, she went on to open several businesses.

So, 15 year old, well old enough to control their lives. In fact, over time, people and in different regions, they were old enough to marry.

I should also share, my mom had zero help from her family, and she got a scholarship to stay in school. In China, where she's from; having a girl go to school was so not the norm. She could only go after all her chores at the farm were done. She would also find books, so her mom wouldn't take them away. And she also had to take care of her 3 younger brothers by the age of 8 because her mom had tuberculosis, and her dad was a degenerate gambler. Heck, she went on to open several businesses.

 

So, 15 year old, well old enough to control their lives. In fact, over time, people and in different regions, they were old enough to marry.

My mum was evacuated at 13 years old because it was WW2 , she also won a scholarship to go to a good senior high school ..all with a war going on eh

Fault?

An indication of emotional, self management, and/or intellectual skills that need to be built.

failure is not an option, because it isn't failure. it's an assessment. use it. calling bad grades someone's fault is bavvkwards focused and stigmatizing, and further brands the child as an object, worse, a flawed object.

grades are an assessment, good bad or average. Use them as information, put the power in the students hands, and make a plan.

In my opinion it's neither. Alot is down to teaching and learning style as well as general interest in the topic. Also grades are not the only testfor intellegence what works for one child may not work for another.