Person1001 Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 I've been bad w/spotting one sided relationships, so I want a guy who is actually interested in me. I went to an event I go every year, I knew I would meet guys there, but I never expected to find a guy who was really into me. Usually at that event, I meet a guy, dance w/him, exchange numbers and he falls off the face of the earth. Not this one lol. Although he lives a couple hours drive away from me, we did talk about starting something more serious after a little time. I saw him yesterday at the event (I was working it, its a weekend thing) and we went out for coffee. We talked for hours. He told me he was very busy and usually during the day he cannot have his phone on him He doesn't text much, but has replied to mine. Could he be taking it slow? I don't trust anything a guy says anymore above his actions cause my long distance ex always told me he loved me, but he never made an effort to keep good contact. Link to comment
Krankor Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 Absolutely, some people just aren't into texting. Maybe evening phone calls are going to be more in order here. Link to comment
Person1001 Posted February 21, 2017 Author Share Posted February 21, 2017 I guess I'll see what happens. After all he waited for me for 2 hours to have coffee w/me despite having to drive home for 2 hours. I guess maybe guys haven't really been that nice to me, it feels good to have someone care. Link to comment
j.man Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 Actions speak louder than words. You're right, OP. And given that texts take a lot of effort and dedication, never trust a man who doesn't text. Texting is probably the #1 sign of interest. I'm actually thinking of proposing to my girlfriend through SMS. Just gotta pick the right emojis. If this guy claims he's got a "job" that requires that's actually "busy" and requires him to "pay attention," don't believe him. I used to drive a forklift and even I would text my BFFs while blazing through the warehouse intersections. Link to comment
Matt3939 Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 My previous job I couldn't have my phone on me at certain times. Maybe he has the same circumstances? I prefer texting as long as it's just the everyday chit-chat. Though some people are horrible texters. Link to comment
Person1001 Posted February 21, 2017 Author Share Posted February 21, 2017 Actions speak louder than words. You're right, OP. And given that texts take a lot of effort and dedication, never trust a man who doesn't text. Texting is probably the #1 sign of interest. I'm actually thinking of proposing to my girlfriend through SMS. Just gotta pick the right emojis. If this guy claims he's got a "job" that requires that's actually "busy" and requires him to "pay attention," don't believe him. I used to drive a forklift and even I would text my BFFs while blazing through the warehouse intersections. He is in the army and told me he couldn't have his phone on him, today though he had a day off. He replied promptly to my text. When my ex and started dating, we texted like crazy, but that didn't last and obviously the relationship didn't. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 ^ Is this the same guy, or a new one? Have you thought about taking some time off in between? Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 So things ended with your bf? Link to comment
Birdie Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 Your past relationship hardly seemed one-sided or that he wasn't interested....there were major insecurities at play and your communication styles were not compatible. Stop blaming others/these guys for the demise of your relationship or the exact same thing is going to keep on repeating itself... And yes PEOPLE can be non texters. Do you have any idea how annoying it is to be glued to your phone?! I don't even get what there is to text about so frequently...like honestly. Things I text are like "need anything from the store?", "Let's meet up on Thursday", "Going to be home late". I'm not going to waste my time typing out conversations or stories, bleh. Link to comment
Person1001 Posted February 21, 2017 Author Share Posted February 21, 2017 So things ended with your bf? Yeah def over. Link to comment
Person1001 Posted February 21, 2017 Author Share Posted February 21, 2017 Your past relationship hardly seemed one-sided or that he wasn't interested....there were major insecurities at play and your communication styles were not compatible. Stop blaming others/these guys for the demise of your relationship or the exact same thing is going to keep on repeating itself... And yes PEOPLE can be non texters. Do you have any idea how annoying it is to be glued to your phone?! I don't even get what there is to text about so frequently...like honestly. Things I text are like "need anything from the store?", "Let's meet up on Thursday", "Going to be home late". I'm not going to waste my time typing out conversations or stories, bleh. Actually it was disinterest, my ex told me he it felt good not having to message me when he was on the trip (he asked for a little bit of space for a couple days). He never told me that it bugged him, otherwise I would have changed the way I approached it. I'm not blaming the guy, I'm actually blaming myself for getting involved w/guys who aren't def interested. Link to comment
J Miracle Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 I dont like texting, its not manly. Generally speaking, I like to get to know somebody via face to face. I don't really like phone calls either. So yes, a guy can be a non texter, I'm a bit of one myself. Even if I like a girl. Link to comment
nsolo Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 I personally do not want to be texting unless I'm setting dates until the woman I'm interested in is in love with me. Texting is a dangerous game that has gotten me in trouble in the past, and so I play the card of being very busy, which I am, and I'll message a few times a day maybe, if I feel it is right for maintenance reasons, and only if she initiated--of course I don't ignore a woman. Ideally though, I'm off the phone, I have my space, she has hers, then if she reaches out before a week since our last date, I am cordial, I set a date, and then I go about my business. If about a week has gone by since our last date, and we haven't talked at all, I call her and of course chat playfully with her, and then I ask her when she's free. She responds. I set a date, giving her the time and place that I was thinking of, and I text the address afterward. I continue to stay off the phone as much as possible. Better to have her wonder how into her I am than have her think I'm so excited to be texting with her. Additionally, I am one who truly cannot be texting during the workday anyway because I am operating heavy machinery, climbing in and out and up and down things, or doing other things that require my full attention. My last serious girlfriend had a fit at first with this because she wanted more of my attention. Fortunately she got used to my schedule, and we had a nice relationship for a while. Link to comment
nsolo Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 Please ignore this response because it was the response before I edited the one below it, and somehow it posted my edited version, if you know what I'm saying. Link to comment
nsolo Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 "Texting is probably the #1 sign of interest." I strongly disagree, j.man. Many men, including myself, have things to do at work during the day. The activities that I do at work involve hazards, and I do not sit around on the phone thinking of how I can word a text so its lighthearted, entertaining, not offensive or uninterested in tone, etc. while I'm performing such tasks. Many men are this way, even if their work doesn't involve physical hazards. I will do my best not to leave a woman hanging, but if I'm at work, she may be waiting for my response for a while. If she goes away and finds someone else because I couldn't text her much between dates, then she's better with someone else anyway. Link to comment
Person1001 Posted February 21, 2017 Author Share Posted February 21, 2017 "Texting is probably the #1 sign of interest." I strongly disagree, j.man. Many men, including myself, have things to do at work during the day. The activities that I do at work involve hazards, and I do not sit around on the phone thinking of how I can word a text so its lighthearted, entertaining, not offensive or uninterested in tone, etc. while I'm performing such tasks. Many men are this way, even if their work doesn't involve physical hazards. I will do my best not to leave a woman hanging, but if I'm at work, she may be waiting for my response for a while. If she goes away and finds someone else because I couldn't text her much between dates, then she's better with someone else anyway. There have been several times where he drops off the convo, one time he apologized for his phone dying. I really thought he wouldn't show yesterday, but he did, waited for me, actually hung out w/me while I worked and then spent more then 2 hours on our coffee date. Link to comment
nsolo Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 I would recommend not contacting him for a week to see if he reaches out to you and sets a date. In the meantime, stay in the market and don't get hung up on him. Link to comment
Person1001 Posted February 21, 2017 Author Share Posted February 21, 2017 I would recommend not contacting him for a week to see if he reaches out to you and sets a date. In the meantime, stay in the market and don't get hung up on him. I did that Sunday (before the date) just to see and he reached out to me. Link to comment
angrythoughts Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 100% yes. I was dating this guy and he would respond hours later. It didn't bother me because I wasn't that interested in him but when we hung out he was highly interested in me and talked about being in a relationship one day. So even though he was a horrible Texter it didn't reflect upon how he felt about me. Now this has only happened to me once out of the many guys I have dated. Usually when a guy doesn't text you that much it means he doesn't have much interest. I'm not saying that for everyone but I'm saying it from experience. Just take notice of patterns. If he takes the time to text you quite frequently in the beginning and then all of a sudden it decreases significantly then he's either busy or not that interested anymore. Link to comment
Zippy2000 Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 Can giy be non texters? To answer your question. Yes. I have a lot of my male friends who dont text at all. Now compare that to my female friends. I have 3 close female friends who text me every day. I have no idea why but most of my female friends tend to be more socialable. To say again. Yes guys are non texters but dont let that be acceptable. If a guy is interested in you. he`ll reply with interest. Its also rude and bad manners to delay reply to a message and keep someone hanging on. If a guy/girl kept on delaying messages. It would get me fustrated and depending how much I liked them. i would move in. Long or delayed respones are a huge turn off for me. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 I text sometimes, and my boyfriend he texts sometimes as well but I wouldn't consider him a texter, no. He usually takes a long while to get back. He can't be just texting willy nilly at his job and nor can I. So no, texting is not always a sign of interest. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 I would take this literally 1001;6756546]He told me he was very busy and usually during the day he cannot have his phone on him. Link to comment
ShatteredMan Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 I hate texting, especially when I'm driving (manual transmission). The only time I text is when I'm in a meeting or multi tasking and I don't have the bandwidth to call. Link to comment
Person1001 Posted February 21, 2017 Author Share Posted February 21, 2017 Can giy be non texters? To answer your question. Yes. I have a lot of my male friends who dont text at all. Now compare that to my female friends. I have 3 close female friends who text me every day. I have no idea why but most of my female friends tend to be more socialable. To say again. Yes guys are non texters but dont let that be acceptable. If a guy is interested in you. he`ll reply with interest. Its also rude and bad manners to delay reply to a message and keep someone hanging on. If a guy/girl kept on delaying messages. It would get me fustrated and depending how much I liked them. i would move in. Long or delayed respones are a huge turn off for me. That's the thing, my ex also claimed to be a bad texter, but only when it came to me (when I was w/him, he had his phone on him, always messaging his friends). Yesterday the guy had a day off (yes he said he can't have his phone on him at work). We were having a text convo and he just dropped off. Idk what to think other then disinterest. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 People gauge relationships and interest by how often you see each other and date, not text-tethering. Why didn't he want to see you on his day off? When is the next in person date planned? Yesterday the guy had a day off. We were having a text convo and he just dropped off. Read up on texting addiction: Compulsive texting takes it's toll Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.