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Birdie

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Everything posted by Birdie

  1. I don’t think you’re ready for sex either based on your posts and also that you call this guy your best friend. This can’t be NSA sex since you already have an emotional connection as friends. Be ready to risk losing this friendship if you have sex. It will get awkward and feelings will be involved. Not only that but if he gets a gf or goes on dates with other girls be ready for him to phase you out to avoid making it awkward with these new girls. Literally everyone says “we are such good friends, that’ll never happen!” And it always always does. Can you handle that? Not only that but (personally) sex without that emotional connection and trust in a relationship sucks. It’s just meh in my experience.
  2. Probably one of the worst parts :( I don't want to split them, but when we got them it was kind of understood the one we got first was "his" (he's paid all his bills, etc) and later on we fostered another I loved and adopted her as "mine". They're not that close...his is big and dumb (but adorable and fluffy!) and mine is a scaredy cat who's pretty independent. They don't really spend much time together (fat one chases mine). I do everything for them (care, appointments, etc) but he loves his and the cat loves him. Whereas mine is much more bonded to me. It's something we will need to address once everything is sorted for sure, just hard to give mine up. I think I could care for them better, I don't think he's home enough or organized enough to care for them. But I can't force him to give the one to me. It breaks my heart even more.
  3. Thank you! That's the plan for now, just going to be a little selfish and treat myself! I am worried about him and hope he's doing alright too, as much as I want to make him a villain he really isn't a bad guy. But I need to focus on me and he needs to sort himself out. Might go binge watch Outlander.
  4. Thank you, means a lot to me! I hope we can work it out too...just need to take some deep breaths and be patient. And remind myself that I deserve to be happy, regardless of whatever happens. Not going to lie, the urge to send passive aggressive texts is definitely there hahaha. But I've lived that lesson and know better!
  5. That's exactly what I'm feeling!! Like spending time with me is a chore, with me always worrying if he's enjoying himself or if I'm doing something wrong or is he mad at me or stressed? etc. Like he is going through a rough time right now and has told me he's feeling pretty depressed, I've tried supporting but it just never seems enough. Then it just doesn't seem fair to me to be the brunt of his moods. He needs to take action and steps towards bettering himself, which I've encouraged. It's just hard to see if it's the relationship/life/work that's making us so unhappy...so I think time and space will help. But yes the time in-between talks sucks! And not trying to get ahead of myself and overthink. Hopefully this is something we can work through...who knows. Thank you!!
  6. I'm 28, he's 31. As a couple no we've never broken up before. Personally I've been through a bad breakup before him, so I know if it's over I will come out of everything ok. I like myself enough I'm alright being alone haha. Still just sucks right now.
  7. Kind of? I've said everything I need to say, I've tried to encourage him to talk. He tends to just shut down during serious talks to it's hard to gauge how he's feeling or thinking. So I don't really feel like I have any answers to what he wants. For now we are going to try just spending some time, like a week, apart to organize our own thoughts and feelings then have another conversation.
  8. Seven years together and I think it’s all coming to an end. Staying apart this week, feeling quite devastated and incredibly angry. No crazy thing, just growing apart I think. My emotional needs aren’t met....I feel like an annoyance to him. He’s frustrated by the lack of intimacy, but hard when you feel like the other doesn’t even like you anymore. I just don’t really know what to do right now so venting here...I don’t know where I’m going to go. I’m devastated I’m probably losing one of my cats, and splitting them up. Just so so sad.
  9. Could they maybe have played too rough one day and kitty remembers? We used Feliway plug ins for out cat wth behavioural issues, it really seemed to help calm her down. And yes do get checked out by vet, something else could be going on.
  10. Is this the same guy from your previous threads???
  11. Some people add everyone they meet on Facebook, who cares? If your friend is that insecure she monitors his profile so watch his friends list the relationships doomed. I could care less if my BF added a bunch of girls as friends. This obviously is just showing how delicate and insecure their relationship is. I also don’t believe this post is for a friend...
  12. I find every now and the the site glitches and puts those A’s instead of characters (I.e. ‘,.”-/ and so on). Here I’m assuming it’s “I’m” glitching.
  13. But did you really feel like you could be yourself and just talk with her or are you looking back with rose tinted glasses? Remember all the anxiety ridden posts about what you should do/say? And how unsure you were? You two weren’t a good match and you’re insecurities were telling you that. Take this time and work on yourself and building confidence.
  14. OP this whole relationship is incredibly unhealthy. He doesn’t treat you with respect and doesn’t want to include you in his life. You tiptoe around him as you view him as your only source of support to seem to cling to him and tolerate such jerky behaviour. You are so so passive. This isn’t sustainable. If my long term boyfriend had asked me to send him a text saying “no” to an invite so he could show his friends I would lose my mind. I’m not just some toy or pawn. If he doesn’t want me there he can own up to that, what a coward. Why don’t you have other supports? What about friends or family? Do you work? Have hobbies? A partner can not be your only source of support. It’s unfair and using them.
  15. Has she been aggressive the entire 8 years? If so she’s been doing this behaviour for a long time and it will be hard to fix. Have you worked with a trainer? I agree sit down with your vet and discuss options, humanely euthanizing her might unfortunately be the best.... If you give her away to another family and she bites someone else, good chance she will either be seized (if it’s a stranger and they report it) or given away to the pound...where she may get deemed aggressive/dangerous and put down. At least with you making the choice she gets to spend the last bit of time with her family and loved...not in a cage confused and scared. If you find someone who truly knows how aggressive she is and they are willing, then sure! But I think it’ll be hard. Unfortunately with animals lots of people think they are experts and can handle it, when they can’t and just perpetuate the behaviour.
  16. Hey ENA, When it rains it pours! It's been a disastrous month for me and keeps getting worse, but hoping some of the lovelies on here can offer some advice. I'm 28, all grown up and living on my own with my boyfriend of about 6.5 years. Live about a 4 hour drive away from my parents. These past few months they've been fighting more and more and parts of their relationship are coming out to my sister and I. No cheating, but mistrust, financial issues and verbal abuse/arguments that get way out of hand. My mother is quite an angry person and lashes out. Anyways things have come to a head, they are in the process of selling their house (which is adding to stress and planned (I think?) before these arguments) and it sounds like most likely going to be splitting up. How do I cope with this as an adult? I feel silly being upset about it, I mean they both are quite unhappy so if this will make them happier, then great! But I can't help but feel devastated that we'll never have a family dinner again. Or if I get married, we'll have to seat them apart or prepare for drama. And how can I offer support? My mom was bawling on the phone to me today. She doesn't know what will happen, she doesn't know if she can financially support herself...these are her retirement years, she foresaw travelling and fun...not going back to work and living on her own. My dad's been quieter, but he's obviously had enough of her lashing out at him. I understand he deserves to be treated with respect and love. It sounds like he is also going through some financial issues, but won't open up about it (a big part of the mistrust...my mom knows something is up, he won't tell her, she doesn't know the state of their finances and gets upset etc. I don't know how they've arranged it. I know my mom does have some inheritance of her own in her own account so it's not like she's got nothing at all...I really don't know). I want to support both and have them know I love them, but I don't want to be the sounding board for them ranting about the other....So what do I do??? My sister lives in the same town so is more involved, but she's heavily pregnant and doesn't really know what to do either. We've been pretty good about being there for each other so far.
  17. Are you still with your boyfriend?
  18. Jetta....what happened to taking a good long break from dating? Why do you constantly feel like you need a man?
  19. Are you planning to end your marriage?
  20. I would be totally fine with it. Honestly he’d probably just spend too much gambling, but whatever it’s his money. I trust him and know him, I would have zero worries.
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