If he doesn't call/text the day after the date, is he not interested?

i went on a first date last night, and I am into the guy. We hugged goodnight, and he kissed me on the cheek. then we kissed on the lips. Nothing scandalous, just a closed-mouth smooch. And he definitely initiated that. During the date he said something i did was "cute."

anyways, he has not called or text me today. should i assume that he isn't interested?

(ps, funny thing about this is that i posted about another guy who went out of his way to say he wasn't interested. but if THIS guy doesn't call or show interest, i'll know he's not interested...i don't need him to contact me to TELL me he's not interested. just a little gripe! sorry to digress...)

Be patient, one day does not mean anything. Did you text saying you had a nice time? That could break the ice.

i went on a first date last night, and I am into the guy. he has not called or text me today. should i assume that he isn't interested?

Have you called him?

Have you called him?

No. i haven't. btw i don't think many people my age CALL people any more. it's usually text...

^

Calling is more personal and sincere, (imo).

No. i haven't. btw i don't think many people my age CALL people any more. it's usually text...

Did he plan and pay?

If so, send him a quick text thanking him and telling him you had a great time.

That's it.

Wait for his response.

If he doesn't reply back, that IS his response, he's not interested.

I have learned that these days, men need for the woman to show interest too.

Texting him thanking him expresses your interest without necessarily chasing him.

Wait for HIM to ask you out again though. If he doesn't, then just leave it.

Keep options open and continue to date other guys.

It doesn't hurt to text or call whichever you prefer just to tell him you had a good time. He may be thinking by you not calling or texting you are not interested. It works both ways.

Lisa

Agreed with the others. He could just as easily be talking to his friends saying "she hasn't text me. Is she not interested?"

If you're interested, I'd send a quick text to say thank you for the date and wish he has a good day. If he doesn't ask you out again after that, I'd take it as he's not interested.

He might be worried about seeming too keen. He might have other things on the next day and it's slipped his mind. Either way it doesn't mean he's not interested. There's a good chance though he'd not sure if you're interested.

You could text to say thanks for for a nice day, let me know if you want to do it again sometime. That gives him the opportunity to ask you out again

i went on a first date last night, and I am into the guy. We hugged goodnight, and he kissed me on the cheek. then we kissed on the lips. Nothing scandalous, just a closed-mouth smooch. And he definitely initiated that. During the date he said something i did was "cute."

 

anyways, he has not called or text me today. should i assume that he isn't interested?

 

(ps, funny thing about this is that i posted about another guy who went out of his way to say he wasn't interested. but if THIS guy doesn't call or show interest, i'll know he's not interested...i don't need him to contact me to TELL me he's not interested. just a little gripe! sorry to digress...)

Since he was the one that initiated the date, then at the end of the date, you should have told him that you enjoyed being with him and would like to go out again on another date. Because you didn't do that (from your update), it would be best to call/text telling him this. After that, the ball is in his court.

thanks everyone. I am going to text him tomorrow (unless i have waited too long!) i could do it tonight but it is already late. so i will wait til tomorrow.

thanks.

i have to admit....i think i am a little skittish with dating. the last few things I was in were not good. i feel like i almost was HOPING it meant he wasn't interested and i could move on. but i am interested so i guess i should text him. I know that sounds silly.

oh and to answer some of your questions: 1) yes he planned it; 2) he paid.

thanks everyone. I am going to text him tomorrow (unless i have waited too long!) i could do it tonight but it is already late. so i will wait til tomorrow.

thanks.

 

i have to admit....i think i am a little skittish with dating. the last few things I was in were not good. i feel like i almost was HOPING it meant he wasn't interested and i could move on. but i am interested so i guess i should text him. I know that sounds silly.

 

oh and to answer some of your questions: 1) yes he planned it; 2) he paid.

Don't worry about it being too long... It's all pretty recent! And if he liked you, he'd be glad to hear from you no matter what. You'd then show your interest that you had a great time with him (and it insinuates you'd be up for another date), and it's in his court to express the same.

What you're saying about being skittish makes sense... Just relax and go with it, and look out for yourself in the process. I hope it goes well and you hear back! If not, don't worry, it wasn't meant to be, it's all a process, you learn, and you move on.

If I go out with someone and I like the person I let them know asap. Ive never played the waiting game. I don't think there's any rules. What does it hurt. Hay I had a nice time with you. Then see what the response is.

If I go out with someone and I like the person I let them know asap. Ive never played the waiting game. I don't think there's any rules. What does it hurt. Hay I had a nice time with you. Then see what the response is.

that might lead me to think HE isn't interested (since i haven't heard back)

btw, as an aside, if you are NOT interested in someone, what do you do, Matt?

I found guys super difficult to read, I mean everyone is different.

First date the week before - decent conversation hug goodbye he said let meet again but no text/call

First date last week - good conversation no hug goodbye or mention of meeting again. I sent him an email next day suggest to meet 2017 and he asked me to hike this weekend

Thesedays if I like the guy enough I will send a text the next day and they usually initial the second date. Though I have to say all those made it to become my exes generally text me the next day.

Bumble

I haven't been a serial dater. I can only remember 2 people that I met and went out with and it didn't turn into something. That was 15 or more years ago. I think we kept talking but it just fizzled out. I do remember I only met them once. Now that I'm older I'd thank them. Then if they hit me back I'd just tell them.

I've heard people have rules usually involving time limits. If you are interested just hit him up. Then at least you will have your answer. I'd never ghost someone who I met in person.

No. i haven't. btw i don't think many people my age CALL people any more. it's usually text...

You said he hasn't called and then you said people your age don't usually call. I hope you see the inconsistency there.

that might lead me to think HE isn't interested (since i haven't heard back)

 

btw, as an aside, if you are NOT interested in someone, what do you do, Matt?

Gosh, lady, you are giving young women a bad name. He plans the date, he pays, and you can't even be bothered to text him? Girl, bye.

I wouldn't call him at this point. I'd send a quick text saying something like, "I had a great time the other day. If you want to get together again, let me know

From my experience with online dating, any guy who didn't call/text the next day of the first date, turned out not to be interested or not interested enough. With some of those guys I did text or call a couple of days later to show them I was interested...it never worked out, so, I stopped doing it.

I think you showed plenty of interest by kissing him back. The "thank you" text simply means "please ask me out again" unless for some reason you didn't thank him at all. If there is no time and place date planned then assume there is no next date. If he plans another date then you can be pleasantly surprised. If you are ok with a dynamic where you do more of the asking out then you should ask him out on a date. Unless dating has changed a lot I think that is the impression you will give if you ask him out If I'm wrong and it's expected to take turns from the beginning and you're comfortable with that then don't wait - ask him out.

I don't think there is any waiting though because if there is no date planned then assume he's not interested in dating you or not available to date. I also think that many people wait to ask for another date for at least a few days. Still I would assume that there is no date and that is basically what dating is - not fun to have a great date and no next date but it is reality.

You said he hasn't called and then you said people your age don't usually call. I hope you see the inconsistency there.

No, i thought i said that he has neither called NOR texted. Meaning he hasn't done either. If i didn't say that, my bad, that's what I meant to say. or if i said "call" i meant it as a catch-all to mean he hasn't contacted me period.

But the post you quoted i was just clarifying that the most likely method I'd communicate with him would be a text. If that makes sense.

I think you showed plenty of interest by kissing him back. The "thank you" text simply means "please ask me out again" unless for some reason you didn't thank him at all. If there is no time and place date planned then assume there is no next date. If he plans another date then you can be pleasantly surprised. If you are ok with a dynamic where you do more of the asking out then you should ask him out on a date. Unless dating has changed a lot I think that is the impression you will give if you ask him out If I'm wrong and it's expected to take turns from the beginning and you're comfortable with that then don't wait - ask him out.

 

I don't think there is any waiting though because if there is no date planned then assume he's not interested in dating you or not available to date. I also think that many people wait to ask for another date for at least a few days. Still I would assume that there is no date and that is basically what dating is - not fun to have a great date and no next date but it is reality.

Honestly this was my thought process too when i asked this question. I did like him but I wasn't so crazy about him that I want to look overeager.

Man I am so indecisive.

Please remember everything you think can be translated to what he's thinking.

He may not want to be over eager either. He did EVERYTHING for date 1. Just do it. What do you have to lose? Literally nothing.