Alex_1

Hi. Here is my situation. I haven't had much experiance with men. But I am with someone right now, and he's great. He is one of the most open minded, caring, generous, sweet, intuitive men I have ever met. And I feel very lucky that I have found him. Recently we have been talking about sex, and more specifically about us having sex. He knows that I am a virgin, and that i haven't had much experiance when it comes to this department. And I have thought about this long and hard... I really want to loose my virginity to him. But then we got on the topic of past lovers... and I found out that he's had quite a bit of experiance. I know that they don't mean much to him anymore, they were all in the past. Also, I found out that he is a little more adventursome in bed then most other people. I am not too sure how I feel about all this. He is still the same person that I want to make love with. I know that he wont do anything that I am not ready to do. But all this does kind of bother me. I am trying for it not to... but that's not working out so well. Like I said earlier, I knew he had past lovers... but I didn't know he had quite as many. Do I have a reason to be worried/bothered by this?

Hello. I have this little problem that has been plagueing me for a while now. I thought that I had conquered it... but I was wrong. Just what that problem is, let me tell you... I have always been afraid to get close to someone. In fact I personally find it terrifying. The ironic thing is, I really want to be close to someone. I tried to stay away from men that I knew liked me, and thereforeeeeee put them off the chase. But everyonce in a while, I would be determined to overcome this fear, and I would say yes to date. But even then, I would break it off after the first or second date. Well, I thought that I had conquered this when I started to see this one guy... he's great, and very patient. We have been seeing each other for almost five months now. During this time, we haven't exactly done anything heavy when it comes to the physical aspect of the relationship. Mostly just making out and stuff. Well, we have started to talk about having sex. And, well, I am a virgin. And that old familiar feeling is coming back ten fold. The things that I found endearing in the beginning, I am latching onto now and making them into something ugly. So much so that I find myself wondering why I even liked him. But I know that this isn't true. Then there are times when I cannot wait to experiance making love for the first time. I am jumping back and forth doing this. What scares me, is that the doubting and fear are overtaking any of the good things. I don't know what to do. I just think how easy it would be to just step out of the relationship. And then all my worries would be put to rest. A little advice?

Hi, I am at a loss of what to do, and how to feel. Let me just give the facts. I don't have anarexia, and I am currently trying to loose weight, in order to get to a healthy weight. But my roommate is anarexic. Here I am eating healthy, and sparingly, and very excited as I see the pounds go away. But my roommate, wants to see the same thing for herself. And she doesn't need it... i fear that if she looses anymore weight that we'll have to bring her to the hospital. I have tried to help her, to get people who can help her, but to no avail. I know, that she has to make the first move when she is ready to get help. What I am having trouble with is the conflicting messages that I am sending her. It's ok for me to loose the weight... but not for her. It's almost scary just how similar our thoughts are in respects to loosing weight. Only in me it is healthy, and in her it isn't. I don't know what to do. And I am scared that I will end up like her. I don't want that. I just want to be healthy. Who's to say that the thing that pushed her over the edge, won't push me too?

Hi... to me this sounds like you are doing a lot of guess work. And in all my relationships I have learned one thing... never assume. One thing can mean another, and it is very easy to get the signals crossed. What you need to do is have a heart to heart with him. Direct communication with him on this topic will clear a lot of air for you.

Well, if you don't go to this party. What about the next one? Do you and them move in the same circles? What I am getting at, is you're going to have to do something about it eventually... It's up to you to figure out the timing and just what you're going to do. And these people... I wish I could give you better advice there. My own issue about this didn't turn out so well. But I'm glad that it's all over with. What I do know there's no placating them, and they'll believe whatever they want to. Be careful, and go with your gut.

Hi. To me it sounds like you have a choice. And I am not saying To go or not to go. The choice I am talking about is... do you want these people to have any influence over your life? You could have a great time at this party, but you could also miss out all because of a group of people. And if they are there, ignoring them could help, or get to the bottom of the situation. In the end it's all up to you.

First i suggest you calm down. Second, get a loan from your parents and get them to help you to rent a car, if it's so important for you to be driving. Or take a cab. Third, there are lots of things that you can do without having to drive. Go to the beach. Have a picnic in your back yard. The sweet and romanitc things are usually what the girl remembers most. Forth, if she can't wait a few weeks then she's not all that interested.

Hi. I first like to tell you that I know exactly how you feel. When I was in highschool I wasn't part of the 'in' group, and my family life at home was a complete mess. It still is. Secondly, no matter what your situation is, someone is bound to be worse off or better off... but that does not change what you are dealing with. Trying to compare your life to anyone else's will only cause you more doubts, and anguish. And by the sounds of it, you have enough without trying to create more. Anyhow, to me it sounds like you are waiting for things to change in your life before you allow yourself to change (your mood). If this is what you are doing... you are always going to be where you are. There will always be something bad in your life that will cause you to retreat into yourself. That does not change. What has to change is the way you deal with these problems... because that is the only thing that you can control in life; you and your own actions. Trust me, I know that this isn't easy, I deal with the same thing myself. The way that I got out of it, I started to confide in people... well actually person. By bringing whatever is bothering you on the inside to the outside, you can see it and then start to take the appropriate measures to deal with it. You don't have to find someone and give them you complete life history, or your deepest and darkest thoughts... but start slowly (I'm talking snail's pace here). You go at the speed you are comfortable with. And then you just go from there. Now, this isn't going to happen over night. It might take a few weeks, or even a few months. The key thing to remember here is to be patient. And practice. The more you do it, the easier it gets. This isn't going to stop bad things from happening. And when something bad does happen and you find yourself returning back the inside, you'll find that each time it is easier to get out of. But also remember, spending time alone isn't bad... I mean if you can't stand your own company, why would you expect other to? I hope that I have explained this to you satisfaction. If you have anymore questions that I can answer please feel free to e-mail me.

Hi. I first like to tell you that I know exactly how you feel. When I was in highschool I wasn't part of the 'in' group, and my family life at home was a complete mess. It still is. Secondly, no matter what your situation is, someone is bound to be worse off or better off... but that does not change what you are dealing with. Trying to compare your life to anyone else's will only cause you more doubts, and anguish. And by the sounds of it, you have enough without trying to create more. Anyhow, to me it sounds like you are waiting for things to change in your life before you allow yourself to change (your mood). If this is what you are doing... you are always going to be where you are. There will always be something bad in your life that will cause you to retreat into yourself. That does not change. What has to change is the way you deal with these problems... because that is the only thing that you can control in life; you and your own actions. Trust me, I know that this isn't easy, I deal with the same thing myself. The way that I got out of it, I started to confide in people... well actually person. By bringing whatever is bothering you on the inside to the outside, you can see it and then start to take the appropriate measures to deal with it. You don't have to find someone and give them you complete life history, or your deepest and darkest thoughts... but start slowly (I'm talking snail's pace here). You go at the speed you are comfortable with. And then you just go from there. Now, this isn't going to happen over night. It might take a few weeks, or even a few months. The key thing to remember here is to be patient. And practice. The more you do it, the easier it gets. This isn't going to stop bad things from happening. And when something bad does happen and you find yourself returning back the inside, you'll find that each time it is easier to get out of. But also remember, spending time alone isn't bad... I mean if you can't stand your own company, why would you expect another to? I hope that I have explained this to you satisfaction. If you have anymore questions that I can answer please feel free to e-mail me.

OK... I live with a female room mate, and everything is fine between us... we're like Joey and Dawson, only without the sexual tension. Anyhow, she's starting to worry me and i don't know what to do about it. She's anarexic. she has been for quite some time. and no matter what anybody says she refuses to get any help. she says that if she does then "the doctors/counsellors will take control of it away from me and I don't want that. also, I'm not sick enough anyways" She's 90 lbs right now. i know that i should let her come to me if she wants help overcoming this. that i should let her crash, so that she'll see that she's really sick... but do y'all know how hard this is for me right now? I just got through an argument with her. she tells me that emotions have no practical value. what am i supposed to say to that? i am sorry to say this but i got angry at her. how do you explain to someone who refuses to acknowledge most emotions, what they mean... how they feel. I don't know what to do about it anymore.

Exactly! everyone that i have spoken too are surprised to hear someone actually talking about this. Either they look at you as if you're crazy or they, try and convert you to these religions that i have no interest in joining. i was raised christian, and i don't feel as though i could go to the church about this. It involving the paranormal, and they don't exactly have a really good track record when it deals with this. i would like to contact someone who does know more about this issue but good luck. When people start looking at you as if you are crazy... sometimes you yourself start to wonder...

Ok... well, the only way to get into this is to just say it. I think that i am going crazy. This kind of deals with the paranormal. I never really believed it until it actaully started to happen. I moved into a new house and things started to move, doors opened and closed on their own, voices comeing from downstairs... when everyone is upstairs in bed. Things like that. Now i am not the only one who sees them... my room mate had and my landlord knows about them. they according to them they are harmless. But that's not driving me crazy. I can hear them talking in my head. And i can feel them touching me. I researched to see if i was going schizo but none of my symptoms matched up with the text book deffinition. In my sleep my hand moves as if something is moving through me and wants to write. (my roommate tells me this) one time she put a pen in my hand and put it to paper. Well, in my sleep i wrote "Alex, I want to talk". I don't know if this is my subconscious (excuse my spelling) or if it is actually happening. As you can see this isn't something i can go to just anyone about. Sometimes i am sure that i am not crazy... but other times i am not so sure...