Loving Across the Ages: When Age Gaps in Relationships Create a Divide

Sometimes it can be difficult to determine when an age gap between two lovers is too wide and becomes detrimental to their relationship. This particular situation can blindside even the most prepared person who may know exactly what they want going into a relationship or even a marriage. Even age gaps of a few years can cause problems down the line that are felt not just by the couple in question, but also by the people around them.

Unsurprisingly, one of the largest groups of people affected by this kind of relationship has become more prominent recently as more young people start seeking older partners. This type of situation was the focus of the 1989 movie Say Anything, which starred John Cusack and Ione Skye's character, Diane Court. Diane was sixteen when the movie took place, and she eventually ended up falling for the much-older Lloyd Dobler, played by Cusack.

This age gap might make some people uncomfortable, but it highlights the dilemma many people face when trying to decide if pursuing a potentially more successful, but possibly dangerous relationship is a good idea. It's important to remember that the feelings of a sixteen year old are not just more volatile than those of a grown adult, they are also more intense. This yields a toxic cocktail that could be potentially damaging to the relationship, if not closely monitored.

When it comes to age gap relationships, communication is critical. It is paramount that both parties are on the same page in terms of expectations and boundaries. A majority of these relationships end prematurely due to lack of understanding which can lead to conflict, misunderstandings and hurt feelings. In order for it to work, both parties need to balance investing in each other and being independent. it's important to remember both people have different priorities, experiences, and pasts.

It's wise to think long and hard before entering into this kind of dynamic. Both parties must be committed to never take away from the partner in the relationship, only adding values at all times.It's wise to think long and hard before entering into this kind of dynamic. This can manifest itself in different ways – financially or emotionally. At the same time, it's also important not to let the amount of ardor or energy in the relationship be taken advantage of.

If both parties are willing to invest the time and energy required to maintain a healthy relationship, then the odds of success in overcoming the differences in age and circumstance increase exponentially. Still, couples must confront and navigate through the prejudicial looks from both family and society. It is a tremendous sacrifice to choose to stand up for someone you love, especially if it’s a selfless act of courage to challenge social norms.

With a greater understanding and communication, age gap relationships can actually offer potential growth opportunities for both parties. Some individuals have reported lasting fulfillment in making connections with someone from different worlds, intellectually and emotionally expanding beyond their own limited environment and realizing life perspectives influenced by different generations.

Despite society saying otherwise , and regardless of what other people may think, it is important to stay true to yourself and your desires. Most importantly, if loving someone is right for you, it should never feel underserved, or unrequited. An age gap doesn't determine the validity of how two people can appreciate each other and prove to the world how powerful connection between two consenting adults can be.