lavender2023

Thank you Miss Canuck for your kind comment and your help🥹!

I should use the word 'mistake' instead, sorry, English is my second language. I had low self-esteem, so I believed in his excuses and suppressed my feelings for two months.

This update is for women facing similar situations and searching online for information. Yesterday, this guy somehow found my Twitter account, and he followed me and liked my tweets. I clicked on his profile and saw he posted screenshots that he talked to other girls. I thought he was trying to get me jealous, so I blocked him immediately. "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." For me, blocking toxic people is the quickest way to recover, grow, and move on. My healing began the moment I blocked him everywhere. I started listening to Dr. John Gray's video on learning to love myself and realized that if I had learned to love myself first, I wouldn't have gotten involved with this guy to begin with. But I don't regret it because I learned and grew so much from this failure. “What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.” & “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” Lastly, I want to thank everyone who helped and advised me here. I couldn't have done the blocking without your insights. I won't delete this post, so whoever is trapped in similar situations can find my experience and other people's wonderful and useful advice. Thank you!

I found interaction on the internet relaxing because I don't see people, not being in others' presence. I know it's a defect I must overcome. I will try finding activities on Meetup.com because I think it's easier for me to ask questions online like how can I join in, where to meet, etc. Thank you for sharing this approach! I will also try to have chit-chat with strangers. I don't do it because I feel awkward about being recognized by people, e.g. they will wonder if I no longer frequent their shops or think I am lazy if I go to their shops at 9 a.m. I will learn how to interact with men in real life. Thank you so much for your advice. Whenever my elder brother tells my mom who he is dating/in a relationship with, my mom always says she doesn't want to hear about it. She thinks a relationship should be a private issue between two people and need not be discussed/shared with others. So he doesn't talk about it anymore. We rarely talk to our dad because mom and dad live separately, and we have lived with mom since we were little. Thank you so much, Andrina! I will try your methods for improving social interaction skills first. I will also set up a must-have list and a dealbreaker list. You are so kind, teaching me all these things, thank you!!

Thank you, Andrina! I haven't dated before because I am too shy to talk to males in real life, and the majority of my colleagues/friends are female. The only male I feel comfortable talking to is my brother. Also, I lived with my family. I somehow feel ashamed letting my parents know I'm dating. I wanted to join the tennis/football club, but I don't know how to. Dating apps are the easiest way for me to know male friends.

Thank you, Wiseman! From now on, I must trust my instincts. I was afraid my instincts were automatic thoughts, not the truthful representation of reality. However, as I looked at his past behaviors through the lens of "actions speak louder than words," realizing that my instincts were right. He said he was busy, but nobody could be that busy to disappear for an entire week.

Thank you, Miss Canuck! I guess I just didn't know how guys would behave when they like someone; or how much they reciprocate indicates they want a relationship. Are there any guaranteed signs that a guy is interested enough to want a relationship with me?

Yes! Now, I realize honesty is one of the non-negotiable qualities. I've never dated anyone before, so I didn't know when to insist on my feelings or reasons and when to give in. I doubted myself often, thinking I was too sensitive and overreacting.

I didn't tell him I liked him, but I texted him first many times and got lukewarm reponses from him. Anyway, it doesn't matter now.😊 Looking on the positive side, I've learned a lot about others and myself from this experience. Now I know what red flags I should look out for, and next time I will know when to pull back early.

Thank you, Kwo! I know I should be happy as I dodged a bullet, but it was just a bit psychologically challenging to kill this irrational love at first sight and the attraction to this toxic person. Your comments build up my confidence. Thank you!

I blocked him on and off after I cut him off. I felt like I was going through the process of withdrawal like quitting an addiction. I blocked him just now. Thank you all so much!

Thank you, Batya! I didn't tell him, but I wrote on my profile saying I was looking for a serious relationship, and he did too. After he kissed me, I told him that was my first kiss. I gave myself a month waiting for him to ask for a relationship. Yes, I'm trying to ignore him. Reading all your comments makes me feel I'm making the right decision. Thank you!

Thank you Miss Canuck for your insight! I just wavered because this is my first time dating and encountering such situation. I didn't know what to do. Thank you so much for your help!

It's so kind of you Wiseman, thank you so much! I almost cried when I read your kind comments. I will find my peace and find someone who treats me better. Thank you for your encouragement and advice!

I (23F) met this guy (46M) on a dating app last autumn, and during those two months of dating, I felt like he was being distant most of the time. He only called me five times in November and went out with me three times during the two months we were dating. He kissed me on the third date but didn't ask for a relationship afterward. He would disappear for a week, saying he was busy with work. I really liked him so I stayed for two months. Eventually, I felt like he was stringing me along so I cut him off and wished him all the best. After I sent the goodbye text, he reached out to me and said he wanted to keep in touch. I ignored his text. We haven't contacted each other for almost 50 days. Last week, I made two posts on Facebook about books I'm reading, and he liked both posts. It's weird because he never liked my posts before. When we were dating, I made ten posts, and he didn't like any of them. Here are my questions: Why did he act distant when we were dating (even after he kissed me), but didn't want me to leave? Why did he suddenly like my posts? What should I do with this guy? **By the way, he claimed to be 38 on the dating app, but I found online that he was 46. He didn't confess to me.