My stubborn boss

[Jaunty]

What if the studio owner was, themselves, a grown man?  Would a woman dare to even work there at all?   

[Alex39]

I felt uncomfortable,  because there wasn't an introduction period or a warm up period of spending time around him or her even saying exactly who he was. 

I walked in, she said this is Dave, and that was it. She leaves us alone in a tiny room and he started giving me work like I worked for him. I was confused and uncomfortable. 

[boltnrun]

I've been in a car alone with a male coworker. I don't automatically assume my coworkers are dangerous predators.

But if your perception of this workplace has deteriorated to the point you're believing the new hires are going to attack you, it's really good you're leaving. 

[Batya33]

She's a small business owner so expecting some big company form of orientation is unrealistic as i your assumption that he had bad intentions.  

[Seraphim]

They aren’t rapists they are male employees. Why do you need a warm up period ? 

[boltnrun]

21 hours ago, Alex39 said:

he started giving me work like I worked for him.

Oh, I get it. He was there for five minutes and wasn't treating you with the respect you feel you deserve as a longer term employee.

Was the business owner being nicer to him than to you?

[LootieTootie]

Have you created an email account for your boss and transferred all social media to that account?

[Wiseman2]

22 hours ago, Alex39 said:

. She told me her business is super successful already and she needs someone to help her as she's immensely busy running it and is overextended. 

Hopefully you learned from mistakes where you are now. The key word is needs help, not run the business and boss around the boss and make all sorts of bad decisions.   

At this place you were hired as some sort of assistant and pretended to be the CEO trying to revamp her entire business model, much to her dismay. 

[rainbowsandroses]

Alex, I am thinking as I read this thread that you'd do well being your own boss, working for yourself.  Becoming an entrepreneur and hiring your own assistants?

Have you considered this?  You seem to have the personality for it.  Much more so than being someone's else's assistant.  You seem frustrated by that.

Why not do it?  Obtain a business loan, find a place and revamp it the way you like, hire your own assistants and run it the way you like?

What's stopping you from doing that?  Just curious.

You could leave this place but imo you will run into the same problems somewhere else.

Why?  Because YOU want to be the boss and there is nothing wrong with that when you ARE the boss.  

When you're someone else's assistant, it's not gonna work.

Just something to consider.

[Jaunty]

4 hours ago, boltnrun said:

Oh, I get it. He was there for five minutes and wasn't treating you with the respect you feel you deserve as a longer term employee.

There is often a very strong undercurrent of entitlement behind the OP's grievances.  

[MissCanuck]

On 3/27/2024 at 3:55 AM, Alex39 said:

because there wasn't an introduction period or a warm up period of spending time around him

You realize this is normal in the workplace, don't you? 

You are not a child, Alex. It's time you stopped expecting people to treat you like one. 

[Kwothe28]

On 3/27/2024 at 3:39 AM, Alex39 said:

She then proceeded to leave me alone with him-a complete stranger to me,  in the closed in studio for hours while he had another guy stop by too, so two grown men and one me in a small room alone I felt extremely uncomfortable.

You mean with your colleague? You do know that you could just leave? Or just do your job? You arent going to be molested when you literally have a choice of leaving.

The way you presented it, people would assume that he chased you around the studio to molest you. Which is just untrue. Guy probably did a job just as you tried to do yours.

[Batya33]

9 hours ago, rainbowsandroses said:

Alex, I am thinking as I read this thread that you'd do well being your own boss, working for yourself.  Becoming an entrepreneur and hiring your own assistants?

Have you considered this?  You seem to have the personality for it.  Much more so than being someone's else's assistant.  You seem frustrated by that.

Why not do it?  Obtain a business loan, find a place and revamp it the way you like, hire your own assistants and run it the way you like?

What's stopping you from doing that?  Just curious.

You could leave this place but imo you will run into the same problems somewhere else.

Why?  Because YOU want to be the boss and there is nothing wrong with that when you ARE the boss.  

When you're someone else's assistant, it's not gonna work.

Just something to consider.

What I found when I was my own boss in the limited sense of having to bring in clients on my own was -the clients are basically your boss. (I did this sort of work for about 7 year before I had our son and did sales related work for about 2 years out of college, prior to that) The skills she needs also are needed by entrepreneurs -better to learn how to play nicely in the sandbox than tell yourself oh it's just that I'm so good at this I'll just stop working under anyone else.  Entrepreneurship often is not the answer.

My friends who are entrepreneurs would feel the same.

[boltnrun]

If I recall correctly you said you have a lot of debt, which is why you took this second job. I don't know if taking on even more debt is a good idea. Plus, you would have to be able to afford to not make any profit for six months to a year, which means you would need to have enough savings to make the mortgage and loan payments you currently have in addition to business and personal expenses. 

How about setting up as a business consultant or providing administrative services to various businesses? That would require very little startup cash. You could have multiple clients. I did some bookwork on the side years ago (billing and accounts receivable). It was nice to have extra money coming in and I didn't have to get a business license or get a loan. And you could choose your clients instead of being stuck with just one you don't like or respect. 

[Alex39]

I have an update. 

I want to clarify, I do not want to be the boss. I did not walk in wanting to be the CEO. 

I went into the business. I received no training. There are no standards. There are no procedures in place. She was telling my references that in the future, she wants to hire me full time. I think that's a complete lie. There was barely a decent chair for my to sit in. I tried to put procedures in place. I tried cleaning up her desk- which is drawers and drawers of junk and crap. She would continue doing the opposite. 

I tried managing her employees, because I was hired as a manager. But I never was able. One girl she hired recently quit after one week. She said she couldn't deal with the owners poor communication. 

I had to essentially make stuff up as I went along. I received no direction. This owner was always questioning herself and decisions she was making. She would tell me one thing one week, then completely do a 180 the next. She'd have me send stuff out one day to clients, then regret it the next day. She is still constantly asking me what she should do. So I felt a bit like I was running this business. But then sometimes she wouldn't be happy, even if the business was booming. I made her thousands more and she would complain. But then give me no structure or clear definitive on what she wanted. There is no order, no planning, no organization. I tried to implement some stuff in that department, but it didn't work. 

I was trying to make it a business, but it's this woman's playground. 

 

I did just get an offer for a new job. More hours, more money. I accepted. 

The owner of this new business, has an organized, structured, thriving business. She already has me starting a training program, with regular check ins. She is getting me on the payroll and says I will be paid automatically, regularly.  

 

The only thing now, I have to leave the old job. I don't know how to tell her I'm leaving and is a week enough notice?

 

[DarkCh0c0]

6 minutes ago, Alex39 said:

The only thing now, I have to leave the old job. I don't know how to tell her I'm leaving and is a week enough notice?

What does your contract say? The notice depends on what's listed in the contract.

And cheers for a new job and new beginning!! 🍾🍾

[Batya33]

I think for her situation a week is enough. 

[Alex39]

28 minutes ago, DarkCh0c0 said:

What does your contract say? The notice depends on what's listed in the contract.

And cheers for a new job and new beginning!! 🍾🍾

I never signed anything. No contract, no tax forms, nothing. I showed up and starting working and hoped she paid me. 

[boltnrun]

35 minutes ago, Alex39 said:

I never signed anything. No contract, no tax forms, nothing. I showed up and starting working and hoped she paid me. 

Well, that was a bad idea as you now know.

Go in and tell her you have accepted another position and will be leaving in one week. Remove her business from your social media account and notify her you are doing so. Ask for your final paycheck to be ready in one week. Don't burn any bridges as you may need a reference in the future.

I'm glad the new job seems to be going well. 

[Kwothe28]

40 minutes ago, Alex39 said:

I never signed anything. No contract, no tax forms, nothing. I showed up and starting working and hoped she paid me. 

Wut? 

I dont think you have an obligation to even give notice under those conditions. Which makes me wonder why did you ever agreed to something like that lol

Also, congratulations on your new job, hope it will be better then this one.

[Alex39]

I really hope this new one will be better. I work well with structure and expectations and this new one already has a system of hiring , payment, training, and regular meetings. I think it will be good. 

[Wiseman2]

4 minutes ago, Alex39 said:

I really hope this new one will be better. I work well with structure and expectations and this new one already has a system of hiring , payment, training, and regular meetings. I think it will be good. 

Hope things work out and it's a better fit. As far as notice.... The sooner the better. 

[DarkCh0c0]

2 hours ago, Alex39 said:

never signed anything. No contract, no tax forms, nothing. I showed up and starting working and hoped she paid me. 

How long have you been working with her? Were you paid so far for any hours of your work?

I agree with everyone. One week is enough under such conditions. Keep it cordial and professional in case you need a referral.

[Jaunty]

Congratulations on landing a new job that seems like it might be a better fit.

Please try to remember that your role is to HELP the owner and the business, and no matter how lofty your opinion of your own abilities may be, possibly the owner feels like they are on a good track.   Don't alienate yourself.

[catfeeder]

Congrats, Alex! I’d only give one week in case you end up fighting for the money.

First sign of trouble, just file a small claim, and she’ll pay right up to avoid court.