Porn addicted husband joins hookup groups

[Sunflowersun]

I recently found out my husband has a porn addiction, not only that but all the communities he has joined are for "barely legal teens" "18 year Olds only" "aa cups" "tinygirls" "ribcage girls" most of the stuff he is looking at are girls who are barely of age and/ or extremely skinny/ anorexic looking. He has also joined onlyfans while we have been together and has been getting DMs from numerous girls. Worst of all I saw that he joined multiple "hookup" and "casual sex" groups in our local area. We had planned on starting a family together and having a future together but I am completely devastated over this, I already have body confidence issues, I am an average healthy weight but with very big natural boobs and now I feel that I am not even his type. He has told me that it's only porn and that he has not or would not meet up with anyone else but I feel so disrespected and shameful over this. Should I break up with him? I would love opinions from both men and women on this. 

[SooSad33]

Geeze 😕 .

First concern is he IS an addict!  Second, he is actually messaging other women!?  Yes, this is wrong!

If he is married now to you, he should not be acting out this way. Joining hook up grps etc, is for singles only.. right?

Walk away from an addict. 

[Coily]

Addicts are going to addict.  As you haven't started a family, I would advise holding off.

As previously mentioned the fact that he's messaging women, on OF, and things of that nature for his fetish; I don't know how you can work around this. Like most addictions, they have to want to solve this for themselves; sexual addictions can be just as bad or worse than others. Also given his "interest" he may be into worse and is smart enough to not cross that line.

The question is, do you want this to be a constant problem in your life?

[Wiseman2]

36 minutes ago, Sunflowersun said:

. He has also joined onlyfans while we have been together and has been getting DMs from numerous girls. Worst of all I saw that he joined multiple "hookup" and "casual sex" groups in our local area. 

Sorry this is happening. How long have you been married? Please consult an attorney for information support and advice on your situation in the event of divorce. 

Please also seek out a qualified therapist for ongoing support and advice as well as to help you unpack and sort out what's going on. This has nothing to do with your body image, your husband has some sort of sex addiction/fetish and is damaging your mental health.

Please go to a physician for STD testing. What you happened upon could just be the tip of the iceberg. 

Please cut your losses and do not start a family. Maybe he'll stop, maybe he'll just be more secretive. In any case you don't have to be stuck with someone like this.

[Seraphim]

I would cut my losses and be gone . 

[Batya33]

11 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

I would cut my losses and be gone . 

same!

[Capricorn3]

1 hour ago, Seraphim said:

I would cut my losses and be gone . 

Ditto!

[shouldhavelearned]

Would not put up with this.

Therapy or something similar

Start your plan a and plan b

[MissCanuck]

9 hours ago, Sunflowersun said:

Should I break up with him?

I would. Total deal-breaker and I would never look back. 

[poorlittlefish]

Your husband's addiction to porn has now infiltrated into real life. Only Fans provides the opportunity to interact with women offering porn and by joining hook-up groups he is clearly intending to go the whole way and cheat on you, if he's not done so already. 

Your husband has no respect for your marriage vows and doesn't care about you. I don't think therapy would put a stop to his behaviour. It might make him more secretive and deceptive. 

For me, this is behaviour I could never accept or forgive and I'd be filing for divorce. 

[MrMan1983]

11 hours ago, Sunflowersun said:

I recently found out my husband has a porn addiction, not only that but all the communities he has joined are for "barely legal teens" "18 year Olds only" "aa cups" "tinygirls" "ribcage girls" most of the stuff he is looking at are girls who are barely of age and/ or extremely skinny/ anorexic looking. He has also joined onlyfans while we have been together and has been getting DMs from numerous girls. Worst of all I saw that he joined multiple "hookup" and "casual sex" groups in our local area. We had planned on starting a family together and having a future together but I am completely devastated over this, I already have body confidence issues, I am an average healthy weight but with very big natural boobs and now I feel that I am not even his type. He has told me that it's only porn and that he has not or would not meet up with anyone else but I feel so disrespected and shameful over this. Should I break up with him? I would love opinions from both men and women on this. 

Sorry to hear that, personally as hard as it sounds I would be forced to cut my losses, that’s gross behaviour. 

[Kwothe28]

11 hours ago, Sunflowersun said:

Should I break up with him?

Yes. Your husband is a porn addict that needs therapy. Which he clearly doesnt want to do. And you dont(and shouldnt btw) condone his addiction. Who are despicable toward you. So there is nothing in there for you. Especially when he is in the phase where he even messages those online women and even tries to hook up with them. 

[waffle]

No one here is going to encourage you to stay with him.

[LotusBlack]

21 hours ago, Seraphim said:

I would cut my losses and be gone . 

That makes 4 of us!

Also, what led you to this discovery?

[smackie9]

Addicts cheat lie and steal. Things will only get worse. I for sure wouldn't want to have kids with someone that has addiction issues. To bring up kids in that environment...hell no. just think.... what kind of father would he be???