Girl used to like me for months and things got messed up, i need advice. thanks

[EMOTIONALLYDAMAGEDGOOD]

There is girl who used to like me for months(100%), but i didn't feel same, she tried her best to give me attention and we talked and were getting known to each other, trading music movies and stuff, i was teasing lot like i do with most people, then i started to like her but her feelings changed and i didn't feel same vibe from her. Then we were at this party but she ignored me there and was having fun with other guy who she knew for 1-2 days. Later on party i went to her and asked that i wanted to talk but she refused and ignored me compeletly, i became mad and since then i ignored her and we didnt talk for 2 months, we don't even say Hi, but thing is i think about her all the time, i was with other girl in this period of time but nothing gets her off my mind, im half angry and dont want to do anything with her because i don't understand why she didn't even listen to me and go cold like that and other half wants her, to talk to her. i don't know what to do, nothing helps to forget her and i get depressed, i want to ask her so many questions but it's hard for me.

[Batya33]

I think you have to respect her wishes and leave her alone.  I know it's hard because you want to ask her questions but just because you want to interact with another person doesn't mean it's appropriate to do so.  She's told you she doesn't want to interact with you. Respect that. If she changes her mind she can initiate contact.  

[Kwothe28]

You are like a child wanting the toy you cant have. She wanted you but when she didnt and you felt like she is slipping away, only then you pursued her. Sorry, not everybody would be interested in that kind of games. You didnt want to be with her and she moved on. Heck, if you would be with her, you probably would get bored and wanted to move on. Because the only reason you are interested is probably because she doesnt want you anymore.

Leave her alone and move on with your life.

[Wiseman2]

56 minutes ago, EMOTIONALLYDAMAGEDGOOD said:

. Later on party i went to her and asked that i wanted to talk but she refused and ignored me compeletly, i became mad and since then i ignored her 

How long do you know her? Do you work or go to school together? How old is she? Does she have a BF?

When someone's not interested, pick yourself up and just walk away like a good sport. No harm, no foul.

Rejection is not fun but happens all the time. Don't take it personally, she is just not available. Go after other girls.

[Andrina]

I read it as you liked the attention, but she could tell you just weren't that into her, and she moved on as she should.

For now, avoid any party she might show up to, delete photos of her, and every time she enters your mind, redirect it. Putting in that effort now will have you mentally moving on within a few months. Take care.

[EMOTIONALLYDAMAGEDGOOD]

Thanks for your answers, I will try my best

[smackie9]

We desire most what we can't have....and I think this is what happened. 

[EMOTIONALLYDAMAGEDGOOD]

it's really hard not to pursue her again for me rn

[boltnrun]

3 minutes ago, EMOTIONALLYDAMAGEDGOOD said:

it's really hard not to pursue her again for me rn

Continuing to pursue someone who's not interested is a really bad idea. 

There must be other lovely young women you could meet and ask for dates. 

[EMOTIONALLYDAMAGEDGOOD]

20 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

Continuing to pursue someone who's not interested is a really bad idea. 

There must be other lovely young women you could meet and ask for dates. 

i somehow feel and know that it can be sparked again for her

[boltnrun]

17 minutes ago, EMOTIONALLYDAMAGEDGOOD said:

i somehow feel and know that it can be sparked again for her

Did she tell you that?

[bluecastle]

17 minutes ago, EMOTIONALLYDAMAGEDGOOD said:

i somehow feel and know that it can be sparked again for her

I'm not negating your feelings here, but from the outside this sounds a lot like your ego talking—that you are missing the days when she was into you and want that "sparked" again, because it would feel better than the feeling of being ignored. That's understandable and human, but I think you've got to just take this on the shoulder with some grace. You'll thank yourself later for building this muscle rather than being guided by base instincts. 

[EMOTIONALLYDAMAGEDGOOD]

2 minutes ago, bluecastle said:

I'm not negating your feelings here, but from the outside this sounds a lot like your ego talking—that you are missing the days when she was into you and want that "sparked" again, because it would feel better than the feeling of being ignored. That's understandable and human, but I think you've got to just take this on the shoulder with some grace. You'll thank yourself later for building this muscle rather than being guided by base instincts. 

my ego made sure that i ignored her and didn't talk to her all this time, thanks for answer 

[smackie9]

Don't chase....it's unflattering. 

[MissCanuck]

She's lost interest and moved on, OP. 

There is no point persuing her. That ship sailed, so it's best to leave her alone so you don't make a pest of yourself. 

[EMOTIONALLYDAMAGEDGOOD]

thanks

[greendots]

I have a different opinion as I've been in the shoes of that girl. You like a guy for a long time, but he doesn't reciprocate. Only flirts. That stings. So, you move on.

Your best and only bet–understand how hurt she must've felt, acknowledge it and tell her. Also tell her that you should've treated her better before, and how you really like her now and you'd love to take her out on a date. You could also write it down as a letter and read it to her, get her to read it in person. Back it all up by showing her with actions that you actually mean what you say.

If she still has feelings for you, there's a good chance she'll accept. Will she be hesitant to say yes initially? Sure. Rejection stings. So be aware that she needs to truly believe you mean what you say.

I'd say, give it one last try. But give it all you've got. Honest. 🙂

[EMOTIONALLYDAMAGEDGOOD]

4 hours ago, greendots said:

I have a different opinion as I've been in the shoes of that girl. You like a guy for a long time, but he doesn't reciprocate. Only flirts. That stings. So, you move on.

Your best and only bet–understand how hurt she must've felt, acknowledge it and tell her. Also tell her that you should've treated her better before, and how you really like her now and you'd love to take her out on a date. You could also write it down as a letter and read it to her, get her to read it in person. Back it all up by showing her with actions that you actually mean what you say.

If she still has feelings for you, there's a good chance she'll accept. Will she be hesitant to say yes initially? Sure. Rejection stings. So be aware that she needs to truly believe you mean what you say.

I'd say, give it one last try. But give it all you've got. Honest. 🙂

thank you!!

[Tinydance]

I think unfortunately you've missed the boat, as they say. Someone isn't going to be interested in you forever if they're getting nothing back. Unless you're Joe Goldberg from that TV series You, and he's a psychopath and stalker lol Also I think you need to honestly ask yourself if you even like this girl. I think if you actually liked her you wouldn't have taken this long to make a move. She probably ignored you at the party because she thought you're not interested and the other guy was acting interested. I mean why are you surprised when she liked you for ages but you didn't even like her?

[boltnrun]

Listen to the Jackson 5 song "I want you back".

"When I had you to myself, I didn't want you around
Those pretty faces always made you stand out in a crowd
But someone picked you from the bunch, one glance was all it took
Now it's much too late for me to take a second look"

Do you want her only because she doesn't want you anymore?

[EMOTIONALLYDAMAGEDGOOD]

thanks for answers and advices, i realised it was my fault and i will think about it and stop being mad at her

[Bvc476]

She has the perfect right to move on after you didn't reciprocate. If you made it very clear that you weren't interested I would move on as well if I were her, and probably wouldn't regain interest. 

[greendots]

On 3/18/2023 at 1:25 AM, EMOTIONALLYDAMAGEDGOOD said:

thank you!!

You're welcome! Let us know how it goes. Give it all you've got–you might still have a chance. Honest. 🙂