How Do I Deal with Someone I like who is Breadcrumbing me

[James90]

Hi all,

 

What’s the best way to deal with a girl who is seemingly breadcrumbing you? 
 

Cut them off?
 

Should I say how they have made me feel before I do or does that boost their ego? 
 

Cheers,

 

James
 

 

 

[smackie9]

Stop talking to them and move on. 

[Kwothe28]

2 hours ago, James90 said:

Should I say how they have made me feel before I do or does that boost their ego? 

No need for drama and heavy conversations, just move on with your life.

[Batya33]

Stop interacting and no commentary.

[DancingFool]

You don't. You simply move on from them.

Never waste your time telling someone off. They know what they are doing and they don't care. It's on you to understand that and walk away sooner rather than later. At the end of the day, nobody can string you along or breadcrumb you without your permission and active participation.

Overall, you'll save yourself a lot of grief if you learn the simple principle that if it's not an enthusiastic YES! then it's a NO. If you have to cajole her, you are wasting your time. Look for a woman who actually wants you as much as you want her and when you meet her, you'll find that dating her is easy and fun rather than pain and drama.

[moodindigo91]

Ghost them

[goddess]

I love what DancingFool said.  Personally, I believe that it's way more effective, and less stressful for you, to stop all interaction with her.  No need to say anything.  Don't lower yourself to that level.   You deserve respect and, clearly, she is not respecting you at all.  Keep your head high, and move on, OK?   

[lostandhurt]

So by telling them why you are stepping back you are really hoping they change their ways so you can have something with her.  Trying to teach her how to treat you is not something you should be doing so just take the high road. 

 You can either ghost her or send a simple text bowing out and wish her well.  Don't burn any bridges, don't lecture her and don't let on how disappointed you are, just keep it simple and polite.

Since you could see you were getting crumbs that is the best part of this  whole situation.

Best wishes

 Lost

[Lambert]

Always treat people the way they treat you.  

Being better to them or too nice or whatever to hope they will change doesn't work.

next time they reach out to you, ignore them. Don't explain yourself.  If they ask you, then maybe you might feel like saying- "you didn't seem interested and I took the hint." and don't use that as an excuse to be all nice to them. 

walk away.  you deserve better

[Cherylyn]

Do likewise by breadcrumbing back.  This is what I always do.  What goes around comes around.  People deserve to be treated the way they've treated you. 

No, don't tell them how they've made you feel.  Either way, you won't boost their ego.  They'll continue to act apathetic, ignorant and indifferent.  They'll either behave properly and treat you as if you matter or you need to become too busy for them. 

I vote YES.  Cut them off.

[Wiseman2]

18 hours ago, James90 said:

What’s the best way to deal with a girl who is seemingly breadcrumbing you? 

If you're getting the busy signal, stop overinvesting your time and energy on this one. You seem to be trying to make her interested in you, but if she's not that's ok. Just move on.  Keep in mind she's not wasting your time, you are. So no heavy talks, just move forward.

[catfeeder]

I would just not respond unless I get the kind of message I want, such as, would you be available on Thursday to join me for drinks? Or dinner, even better. Anything short of wanting to interact is a waste of your time.

And no, don’t ever show your cards to anyone who hasn’t earned the right to even know you’re holding any.