She said that we're not meant to each other

[brooks39]

Hi dear friends, 

Just ended my relationship with a girl.

Little backstory: We dated for about 6 months, everything looked fine (sex drive, emotional attracted (maybe just for me), except she several times canceled a dates and for the reason, she said that she have headache or bad mood.

 

She said that we're different, also that we have different statuses, like she's a waitress and i'm doing financial stuff in office - I answered that I don't judge a person by his work or money - thats my oppinion.

 

Few days ago, she said three things;

1) We are not meant for each other;

2) I don't want to hurt you, you need to move on;

3) And that she don't have the same feelings like i have, but also she said that she likes me.

Guys or girls, i don't know what to do about this, but i feel that i need to do something. I know after many breakups that if it's not meant then it not meant, buuuttttt, i feel that in this case there's a solution - maybe.......

Sincerely,

Your new member

[Wiseman2]

9 minutes ago, brooks39 said:

We dated for about 6 months, everything looked fine (sex drive, emotional attracted (maybe just for me), except she several times canceled a dates and for the reason, she said that she have headache or bad mood.

she said three things;

1) We are not meant for each other;

2) I don't want to hurt you, you need to move on;

Sorry this happened. How old is she? Is she recent broken up with someone/still talking to an ex? Were you exclusive? 

[brooks39]

She's 27, she broken up about year ago with her ex. About talking with ex, she said that ex sometime text her but she don't answer.

sorry I didn't understand your question about exclusivity.

 

 

[Rose Mosse]

25 minutes ago, brooks39 said:

 

3) And that she don't have the same feelings like i have, but also she said that she likes me.

She likes you as a person, another human being. You’re decent. But she doesn’t feel the same way romantically. You’re not someone she wants to date. She might have been curious or felt something before but it didn’t last.

Best to respect what she’s saying and move on. 

[Wiseman2]

10 minutes ago, brooks39 said:

She's 27, she broken up about year ago with her ex. About talking with ex, she said that ex sometime text her but she don't answer. I didn't understand your question about exclusivity.

An abrupt turn around after 6 mos. sometimes indicates someone else in the picture. Add to that several last minute vague date cancelations. Were there other disagreements/incompatibilities?

[brooks39]

No, there were'nt any conflicts on other topics or other toxicity. 😞

 

[Rose Mosse]

3 minutes ago, brooks39 said:

No, there were'nt any conflicts on other topics or other toxicity. 😞

 

Move forward. She doesn’t feel the same way. There is nothing to do except respect what she’s saying.

[brooks39]

6 minutes ago, Rose Mosse said:

Move forward. She doesn’t feel the same way. There is nothing to do except respect what she’s saying.

OK, but i'm very supprised that this ended so simple.

 

[Rose Mosse]

6 minutes ago, brooks39 said:

OK, but i'm very supprised that this ended so simple.

 

I know, it’s hard because you still have feelings. She doesn’t. It really is that simple for her and she doesn’t want to be with you.

[brooks39]

4 minutes ago, Rose Mosse said:

I know, it’s hard because you still have feelings. She doesn’t. It really is that simple for her and she doesn’t want to be with you.

Harsh reality  will go futher, this days to start dating is so much simplier than in a days when only was clubs e.t.c.

But thanks for you oppinion, i need to accept it and that's all 🙂

 

[catfeeder]

1 hour ago, brooks39 said:

i feel that in this case there's a solution - maybe.......

Sorry, but no. She didn't raise something negotiable. She didn't accuse you of something you could disprove. She expressed her own feelings, and it wouldn't make any sense to 'fight' her on those. you'd only make them worse.

[Andrina]

A woman thinks long and hard before breaking up, knowing it means forever. A person like this just isn't that into you, since there were no issues to improve, or she didn't care enough to address any issues.

One day you will meet the right one who will never end things. Have faith that everything's working out the way it should, for the best. You can't see it now, but one day, you will.

Take care.

[reinventmyself]

I think it's normal when you lose someone like this, your mind immediately races trying to figure out how to make the bad feelings stop.

There is nothing to do other than to give this time to sink in a settle down.

I am sorry this happened.  It's said the ending so soon can be more painful.  You are still on that honeymoon high and it's a long way to fall. 

[Lambert]

I'm sorry this is a disappointment for sure.  However, a big part of making a successful life is accepting disappointment and moving forward.

Take heart that she respected you enough to let you go, to not use you or treat you poorly. 

Take time to grief this loss. Be on your own, but seek out time with your friends and family.  Reconnect with you interests and hobbies maybe learn something new. 

In time you'll meet someone better for you and you'll be glad you didn't waste any time barking up the wrong tree.

It's ok. ❤️ You will be fine. 

[Kwothe28]

2 hours ago, brooks39 said:

I know after many breakups that if it's not meant then it not meant, buuuttttt, i feel that in this case there's a solution - maybe.......

When they say "its not meant to be" in girls language that means they dont like you enough to see the future. "No chemistry" or whatever else they use to say how they just dont like you. I even find her remarks rather silly. You have a better job and still accepted her. And it was still used as a negative to discard you as a potential for more. I am sorry, but she just wanted a way out from some reason. Maybe you, maybe somebody else who turned up on the horizon(wouldnt be surprised that is the case). But, she wanted out. And wanted out really hard.

In a situation like that, there is nothing you can do. You cant force anybody to like you more. You also cant show her that you are "the right one". If she doesnt see it, she just doesnt see it. Its on you to accept that no matter how harsh maybe it is for you. And in time find somebody who would look at you in that way.  

[smackie9]

When she had "a headache" she was seeing someone else. That someone won out. Remember when you date someone, there is always the possibility they are dating others. It's not always up to them to disclose it. 

[catfeeder]

5 hours ago, reinventmyself said:

I think it's normal when you lose someone like this, your mind immediately races trying to figure out how to make the bad feelings stop.

Yes, both denial and bargaining are natural stages of grief, and it can take a while to work these through. Your mind may just just keep cycling through until you're ready to accept what you don't want to accept.

This is natural, and I'm sorry you're in pain. Trust that when you're ready, you'll find a better match for you, and you'll thank yourself for moving forward from this.

 

[MissCanuck]

Unfortunately, there’s nothing here to work with, OP.

This isn’t something that can be fixed. It’s basic incompatibility and a mismatch in feelings. It’s disappointing but you will need to accept that so you can move on.

[Capricorn3]

Sounds like she's not as into you as you are into her.  It's just not working for her.  You did nothing wrong. It's simply incompatibility.

[Cherylyn]

I'm sorry.  There isn't a solution.  Respect and honor her wishes and move on. 

[hub49]

I've had this happen to me.  The woman didn't see a future with me after six months and we parted ways.  I'm sure it was tough for you to hear, but she was honest and didn't want to string you along or spend more time in something that wasn't going to lead anywhere.  

I wasn't totally ga-ga about this girlfriend but was willing to ride things out longer.  I'm happy the relationship ended when it did.  I met my wife six months later.  

[jul-els]

She has spelled it out for you very clearly. Take her at her word. Don’t spend your time on someone who can’t/won’t reciprocate. 

[brooks39]

Thank you folks, i'm very appreciate your opinions, they helped me a lot ✌️