My fwb asked was i sleeping it’s someone else ?

[ManBip098]

6 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

"Cool" for who? Being demoted to unpaid call-girl is hardly cool. Why let him talk to you this way?

He was drinking i didn’t pay it any mind until later on honestly 

[lostandhurt]

There are thousands of guys in your area that would love to have a FWB thing with you so why hang onto this old bf when he clearly still has feeling for you and is being jealous?

  Sounds like it is time for you both to finally call this thing quits for good.

You are cool with the arrangement, he clearly is not.

Lost

[Batya33]

7 hours ago, ManBip098 said:

Casual sex agreement 

Oh ok. So you’re using the coy euphemism which is odd since I get the impression you’re comfortable having a sexual arrangement whether it’s a friend or someone you see when you’re in the mood to have intercourse.   Is the sex that good to make it worth his annoying and pushy attitude ?  Sure he’s entitled to feel what he feels but not entitled to react by annoying you to this extent.  He is entitled to the more business aspects of the arrangement - meaning whatever you agreed about sharing health related info whether STD or potential pregnancy.  
So if you promised not to have sex with others without letting him know he’s entitled to confirm if he’s concerned about STDs (or covid I guess ).  I’d move on since this is not a friendship.  There are plenty of men who will be up for having sex with you casually without this added annoyance to ruin the fun you are having. 

[catfeeder]

FWB's need to end somehow.

They're cool and casual until they are not.

[MissCanuck]

8 hours ago, ManBip098 said:

He was drinking i didn’t pay it any mind until later on honestly 

Perhaps you should. 

The way he talks to you is gross. 

[ManBip098]

15 hours ago, Batya33 said:

Oh ok. So you’re using the coy euphemism which is odd since I get the impression you’re comfortable having a sexual arrangement whether it’s a friend or someone you see when you’re in the mood to have intercourse.   Is the sex that good to make it worth his annoying and pushy attitude ?  Sure he’s entitled to feel what he feels but not entitled to react by annoying you to this extent.  He is entitled to the more business aspects of the arrangement - meaning whatever you agreed about sharing health related info whether STD or potential pregnancy.  
So if you promised not to have sex with others without letting him know he’s entitled to confirm if he’s concerned about STDs (or covid I guess ).  I’d move on since this is not a friendship.  There are plenty of men who will be up for having sex with you casually without this added annoyance to ruin the fun you are having. 

That wasn’t the deal. I’m okay with him seeing others but I’m honestly not dating or sleeping with others. But even when i was honest and told the truth that i wasn’t sleeping around he called me a liar and asked who was it … even though there wasn’t anyone 

[Tinydance]

1 minute ago, ManBip098 said:

That wasn’t the deal. I’m okay with him seeing others but I’m honestly not dating or sleeping with others. But even when i was honest and told the truth that i wasn’t sleeping around he called me a liar and asked who was it … even though there wasn’t anyone 

Yeah so that's actually a red flag. Why is he accusing you. Especially as it's none of his business if you sleep with others.

[ManBip098]

3 hours ago, Tinydance said:

Yeah so that's actually a red flag. Why is he accusing you. Especially as it's none of his business if you sleep with others.

I don’t mind being honest about me sleeping with others but i was honest and said no

[Batya33]

35 minutes ago, ManBip098 said:

I don’t mind being honest about me sleeping with others but i was honest and said no

So either he trusts you as his sex partner as far as whether you are having sex with others - since of course that is a health issue - or he doesn’t.  I’m not sure why dating others comes up. You and he are not dating. If he’s accusing you of lying I’d back off. Especially given the health and potential pregnancy issues.  You want someone who you can trust on the health matters. 

[catfeeder]

4 hours ago, ManBip098 said:

he called me a liar

I can't speak for you, but this would be a no-brain dealbreaker for me.

If you're not even invested in the guy, why would you even consider putting up with this?

I mean, even if I was invested, the life skill of walking away from mistreatment is something I've never regretted--ever.

[reinventmyself]

20 hours ago, ManBip098 said:

I don’t mind being honest about me sleeping with others but i was honest and said no

This^^ would be the sticking point for me.

Insecurities and boundaries aside, I personally do not tolerate people challenging my integrity.  You have him an honest answer and he basically called you a liar and put you in a position to continue to defend yourself.

I'd be out due to that, primarily.  The other issues are additional reinforcement.

[Wise Wally]

Are you suggesting that someone who bases a mere friendship on easy access to meaningless sex with no strings attached could act in an unscrupulous manor?  That's crazy talk.

[ManBip098]

5 hours ago, Wise Wally said:

Are you suggesting that someone who bases a mere friendship on easy access to meaningless sex with no strings attached could act in an unscrupulous manor?  That's crazy talk.

Yes basically lol

[sadchick83]

I don’t think the FWB situation is that bad as long as you both agree to it, however, he cannot also control you at the same time.  A FWB, if you choose to have one should be fun, light and you should enjoy each other’s company. Not for the faint of heart though, as someone is likely to develop feelings for the other.  

You mentioned you tried dating this guy and it didn’t work, and now it seems like FWB doesn’t work either. Sounds to me like he wants you to be his only partner, while he plays the field and/or his insecurities are get the best of him. If you are happy to see him and he make you feel good, continue to see him.  If you feel stressed about him most of the time, cut your losses.

If FWB is what you are after, find one that is a bit more respectful of you.  Maybe go on a date or see them outside of the bedroom that way its not just a hook up.

[ManBip098]

17 minutes ago, sadchick83 said:

I don’t think the FWB situation is that bad as long as you both agree to it, however, he cannot also control you at the same time.  A FWB, if you choose to have one should be fun, light and you should enjoy each other’s company. Not for the faint of heart though, as someone is likely to develop feelings for the other.  

You mentioned you tried dating this guy and it didn’t work, and now it seems like FWB doesn’t work either. Sounds to me like he wants you to be his only partner, while he plays the field and/or his insecurities are get the best of him. If you are happy to see him and he make you feel good, continue to see him.  If you feel stressed about him most of the time, cut your losses.

If FWB is what you are after, find one that is a bit more respectful of you.  Maybe go on a date or see them outside of the bedroom that way its not just a hook up.

I’m not even going to lie he was doing this while we were dating too. Calling himself “ugly” accusing me of cheating so i just couldn’t do it … it got tiresome … but , everything was going good being FWB until a few days ago where he started up again

[MissCanuck]

I personally would not welcome a man like him into my bed ever again. 

Even for FWB, you're allowed to (and should) have standards. 

[Tinydance]

12 hours ago, ManBip098 said:

I’m not even going to lie he was doing this while we were dating too. Calling himself “ugly” accusing me of cheating so i just couldn’t do it … it got tiresome … but , everything was going good being FWB until a few days ago where he started up again

Can you really not get anyone else for sex? Or even for dating? I don't know much about this as I'm a woman but my gay male friend used apps like Scruff, Grindr, etc. and he said most guys on there just want sex. If you just want FWB I'm sure you'd have a huge amount of choice and at least some of those people would be better than your current FWB. 

[Wise Wally]

I think what Tinydance is really trying to say is, "Why don't you simply become a full-fledged wh*** so you don't have to deal with so much drama"?

[boltnrun]

1 hour ago, Tinydance said:

Can you really not get anyone else for sex? Or even for dating? I don't know much about this as I'm a woman but my gay male friend used apps like Scruff, Grindr, etc. and he said most guys on there just want sex. If you just want FWB I'm sure you'd have a huge amount of choice and at least some of those people would be better than your current FWB. 

Well, that wouldn't be friends with benefits because someone you find on an app isn't a friend. That's more like casual encounters. Which can be extremely risky for many reasons.

[Wise Wally]

25 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

Well, that wouldn't be friends with benefits because someone you find on an app isn't a friend. That's more like casual encounters. Which can be extremely risky for many reasons.

Some risks, sure, but I've heard that Syphilis chancres are actually painless.  

[Rose Mosse]

14 hours ago, ManBip098 said:

I’m not even going to lie he was doing this while we were dating too. Calling himself “ugly” accusing me of cheating so i just couldn’t do it … it got tiresome … but , everything was going good being FWB until a few days ago where he started up again

Lol and what if you agreed that he is ugly? He seems to talk a lot of nonsense so if you still want to associate with this person or have sex, consider it in one ear/out the other. Play along with his one sided conversations with himself.

[Wiseman2]

15 hours ago, ManBip098 said:

I’m not even going to lie he was doing this while we were dating too. Calling himself “ugly” accusing me of cheating so i just couldn’t do it … it got tiresome … but , everything was going good being FWB until a few days ago where he started up again

He's way too much work. As anything. BF, FWB, whatever. He needs a psychiatrist not a situationship.

[ManBip098]

1 hour ago, Wise Wally said:

I think what Tinydance is really trying to say is, "Why don't you simply become a full-fledged wh*** so you don't have to deal with so much drama"?

***?

[Wise Wally]

I got censored for using a derogatory term describing a promiscuous woman.