Growing Older

[FrozenMoon]

Hello,

I realize it's not that long ago (<1 year) since my last thread on this forum, where I explained that I was living my best life yet worried that I was lagging behind on everyone else in terms of relationships (I was single, haven't been pursuing, still am). Since then, I frankly put it on the backburner and haven't been too worried about it. Unfortunately, that all changed at the start of this week.

I encountered people talking about "the wall" -- women hitting 30 and "deteriorating" from then on forward. First I wrote it off as just another made-up cultural belief, but it did bother me. And the more I read up about it, the more I realized that, while not such a hard limit, there is some minor truth to it. Between 30 and 40, most consider you to be middle-aged, the first wrinkles start showing, etc. I realize that I am still only 23 (turning 24 in two weeks) and this is years away from me, but.. it's much closer already than I am comfortable with. Quite frankly, it makes me anxious. Worst of all, this being on my mind opened up a whole other can of worms.

Just yesterday, I happened to be scrolling through some old photos. Photos from times that felt like yesterday, but in truth already lie 6-8 years in the past. I was 16. And now for the first time, I saw just how young I used to be. I never thought that I had physically changed much since that age (I've always naturally had a very young looking face), but now, it was visible to me in all the small details. By no means do I look "old" now, but this was the first time that comparison made me feel something. Made me realize more than ever that time is not standing still. 
I am losing my youth. Soon, for the first time in my life, I will no longer be referred to as "the new generation". I will no longer be a student, and I will no longer be "the youngest member" anywhere.

Scrolling through the same pictures, I saw how much younger my friends looked, how much younger my parents looked. The past few years, I have been terrified about them growing older and older, realizing I've been taking them for granted all my life but they may soon no longer be there. Realizing how long ago these photos were taken and how quickly the years have passed.. I'm scared. I'm really, really scared. They are losing time and there is nothing I can do to stop it.

What began as "maybe now is the time for me to hurry and start dating" now has nothing to do with romance anymore, and has changed to a constant feeling of dread with regards to time in general. I've never feared growing older. In fact, I was always looking forward to gradually experiencing every phase in life. But since this week, I've done nothing but obsessively think about it. I'm honestly distressed. I had to retreat to the bathroom at work today because I felt tears welling up and didn't want my coworkers to see me that way.

I realize there is nothing to be done about it, and we all face these same problems, but I just cannot cope with it right now. It's not that I'm missing anything: I still do live a wonderful and fulfilling life, and was very happy in general until the moment this popped up. Now it's gotten into my head and I'm just a mess.

I'm not sure either what I can ask from you all here, I just needed to get this out of my system somewhere. I'm stuck in a state of fear, and suddenly lost all sense on how to process this.

[Seraphim]

There is always the adage that you are as old as you feel . I don’t think you are old at all. You are the same age as my son. 
 

I didn’t have wrinkles in my 30’s or 40’s. I am almost 55 and just now starting on some small ones . My mom is just starting to at 75. If you take really good care of your skin and body with good food and exercise and moisturize your skin and wear sunscreen you will be ok. 
 

I didn’t feel middle aged at 40. I definitely do in my 50’s. 
 

However, there is such a thing as a  quarter life crisis where  you realize you are no longer a child. I had that too about age 25. That may be what you are experiencing, but you are definitely not old by any stretch of the imagination. I am 30 years older and I am not even old. 

[catfeeder]

Sounds as though you need something more creative and productive to focus on.

When a bunch of 12 year olds start speculating, wrongly, and scaring one another about life and love and aging as though it's a horror movie, it sounds a lot like your ponderings. 

People believe that adolescence ends at age 18, but that's not accurate. Adolescence lasts through early 20's. You're still a baby.

Middle age, according to your beliefs, would project a life expectancy of 60 or 70, which are ages where lots of people actually start feeling liberated and really START living their best life!

Find something constructive to do that brings you joy, and stop making yourself miserable.

 

[Seraphim]

4 minutes ago, catfeeder said:

Sounds as though you need something more creative and productive to focus on.

When a bunch of 12 year olds start speculating, wrongly, and scaring one another about life and love and aging as though it's a horror movie, it sounds a lot like your ponderings. 

People believe that adolescence ends at age 18, but that's not accurate. Adolescence lasts through early 20's. You're still a baby.

Middle age, according to your beliefs, would project a life expectancy of 60 or 70, which are ages where lots of people actually start feeling liberated and really START living their best life!

Find something constructive to do that brings you joy, and stop making yourself miserable.

 

I agree!!! I am waiting for my best life in my 60’s when I get to retire and do as I please. 
 

I agree middle aged is more 50’s . 
 

And one’s brain is not fully grown until about 25 ish. So one is really an adolescent still. 

[Coily]

I think the real question you have to ask yourself is what do you think will change about who you are and who you want to be as you get older?

If it is having kids then age is a consideration. But for everything else, that's really a state of mind. People age physically and emotionally different, I have friends in their 50s who are fit active and look to be in their late 30s. So don't get hung up on a number defining you and your interests.

 

[LaHermes]

Oh, to be 23 again!   L.

I cannot recall having these ruminations at 23 or indeed at any other age.  People do not detiorate at 30.  Nowadays 30 is very young.

50 is the new 30.

I know a few people who continue to run their own business in their early 80s!

Chronological age is largely meaningless. Just a number. 

[Lambert]

We all age... feeling bad about it, will not change the fact. Not wanting it to happen, will not change the fact.

You have to look at your own life, your own desires, your own dreams, work towards them and not compare yourself to others 

There is always someone better looking, younger, more talented, richer, etc.

You might need to talk to someone like a therapist or doctor.

 - Why are you so superficial about something we all know is fleeting?

- Why do you continue to need to be soothed about something every living being faces? 

- Why do you think these things are harder or mean more to you than anyone else? 

- What do expect some miracle that will keep you young? 

A lot of your thoughts are valid .. we all go through these things but you are not coping well...  this is the youngest your ever going to be again.  So maybe trying looking on the brightside... you're alive.

Start focusing on what your doing today and the future.... So in 10, 20 years you don't find yourself posting about how you did nothing with your life and now you're just that much older. 

TL;DR Get a grip 🤣 you'll give yourself worry lines. 

[LaHermes]

6 minutes ago, Lambert said:

So maybe trying looking on the brightside... you're alive.

To which I might add that every single day is precious.  Fill the day with as much as you can pack in, joyous experiences, constructive stuff, stop and smell those flowers in your garden or in the park, stand outside for a few moments at midnight at look up at the stars.  Stop that weasel circling inside your head, sit down and savour a good coffee, tea, or whatever.

The years do pass quickly.  All the more reason to live every day, live "in" every day. 

[SooSad33]

3 hours ago, FrozenMoon said:

And the more I read up about it, the more I realized that, while not such a hard limit, there is some minor truth to it. Between 30 and 40, most consider you to be middle-aged, the first wrinkles start showing, etc.

Ahh, not true 😉 .. I just hit 50, still doing pretty good.

You need not worry!  You're just getting started!

Please do not compare yourself to when you were still a child!  

You are rushing yourself in the wrong way, which is not necessary.

3 hours ago, FrozenMoon said:

What began as "maybe now is the time for me to hurry and start dating" now has nothing to do with romance anymore, and has changed to a constant feeling of dread with regards to time in general. I've never feared growing older. In fact, I was always looking forward to gradually experiencing every phase in life. But since this week, I've done nothing but obsessively think about it

You might want to consider some therapy to help you out with all of this... dread.  Is not a good place to be.

My brother dated a young, troubled gal at your age.. it fell apart and he went a good amt of years single to get himself straight & back to 'good'.  He did not meet up with his wife for another 8 yrs, so mid 30's.

I get it, the mindframe is not good 😕 ... But, you need to try & see it in a different light.  Everything takes time.. never rush into anything because you 'need' it.

So.. try to slow down.. relax a bit. And consider some prof help, if you feel it is sitting on you in a cpl months.

Deep breathes.. you're doing okay  🙂 

 

[Pleasedonot5]

Hey, OP. Sorry you are feeling this way. For context, I am a 26-year-old man. 

I was nodding along to some of the points in your original post. I felt similarly at 23: family getting older, time passing by, leaving college and heading to the real world. Not quite old enough to be respected in a profession, seen as the old person by college peers. It can be stressful.

Re: time. Yes, there is nothing we can do to stop the passage of time. But we can spend time with family and friends, support them, and treasure the time we do have. That time will run out is an unfortunate part of life. But it is also relieving. We do not need to deal with the stresses of life forever, nor do our loved ones. Let that thought bring peace, not just trepidation. 

Re: age. When I was reading your post, I at first assumed you were 29 by the way you were talking. You are 23. Even if 30 were old - it's not - I very commonly find people in their 30s youthful and attractive. It sounds like you still find yourself youthful and attractive, too. Your 30s will not be a barrier to your love and happiness. 

Hope this helps. 

[LaHermes]

To ponder on OP:

"Life is short. Don't do the same thing everyone else is doing - that's such a herd mentality. And don't do something that's two percent better than the other person. Do something that changes the world. Oren Etzioni

"Life is short and we have never too much time for gladdening the hearts of those who are travelling the dark journey with us. Oh be swift to love, make haste to be kind" Henri Frederic Amiel
 

[Rose Mosse]

This does happen with the passing of time. I can empathize. I spent a good deal of my early years very busy I've been having a ball ever since with more time to myself and more freedom to explore. Life is much sweeter now than it ever has been , personally. You will find new ways to enrich yourself and find other things to challenge you. Or, meet new people who also interest you and challenge you to think differently and perceive yourself differently. 

You know youth is relative too. Focus on your diet and health and exercise if you want to improve yourself. 

The passing of time is ever more present the more we lose our loved ones too to age and sickness over time. I think you take things in stride and learn not to let the little things move you, save it for the big things - big achievements and worries. You don't have to keep being your old self and you can let go of your old measures, standards, preoccupations also. Tell yourself that. Move forward.

 

[Batya33]

I'm almost 55.  I took the long way around - wanted to marry and have kids in my 20s.  I married and had our son at age 42.  I was in much better shape in every way to be a mom in my 40s than in my 20s and 30s.  Mentally, physically, emotionally, maturity.  The downside was we knew we would likely be one and done -at least having a child naturally - and I honestly have zero regrets.  Also in my 20s I was sure I wanted two kids and girls.  I have one child who is a boy.  I am so thrilled to be the mom of a boy and was thrilled when I knew I was having a boy (I knew in my heart and soul it was a boy two months before we could test for it and I was thrilled).

Age is not just a number for many reasons.  But like anything you can choose to focus on it a lot or a little or not at all.  I started working out regularly in 1982 -way before you were born.  In all those years the only time period I didn't work out regularly was about 7 months of my one and only pregnancy.  It is a main reason why I am in good shape in every way. 

Of course I focus on my age -it affected my risk for covid, and when I could get the vaccine, it affected my fertility, my health during and after pregnancy, it affects my exercise now -I definitely feel it more in my muscles and back.  It affects how irritated I get on my facebook moms groups with the overwhelming assumptions that we're all in our 20s and 30s if we have young/younger kids.  It affected my long dating life because there were so many negative comments and assumptions about why I was "still single" in my 30s.  

But I don't focus inordinately and even when my biological clock was ticking ticking ticking I didn't obsess. I admit I did during the extra tests and ultrasounds I had to get as a geriatric pregnant lady.  I was freaked out about all the risks.  I wish I'd had the opportunity to be younger and have kids to avoid all that emotional stress.  It all worked out beautifully.

You can choose how to react to these feelings.  Age is just a number when it comes to that and you are young and you can make choices as to how to reach your goals - baby steps are my suggestion.  Good luck.

[Tinydance]

Well, your feelings are very valid. Just because I'm 13 years older than you, I'm not going to say that they aren't. It's interesting how different people feel though because I don't think I ever feared getting old/er. When I was in my teens I did think 30 was old lol But I wasn't actually scared of turning 30 and never really thought about it I guess. I'm 36 and I'm actually not scared of getting older even now.

The only thing I was worried about is that I want to have kids and I was only concerned that my time is running out only from a biological perspective of having children. I don't really feel old or worry about getting old even now. To be honest I never really think about it.

I will admit that turning 30 did seem scary but at the same time I looked forward to having a big party lol I had my party in a vintage 60's-70's themed bar and I asked prople to dress up in that style. I had about 30 people there and it was so fun! I made a photo montage of my whole life with all my friends and family in it. I actually look fondly on turning 30. After turning 30 it felt OK actually. You sort of just accept that you're in your 30's. I wouldn't say it feels ant different per se because unless you have kids, you can still do whatever you want and the world is your oyster.

The wrinkles thing isn't necessary true for everyone but even if it was, so what! I think of it just as part of being older, same as teenagers might have acne. Although I must admit that I've had very oily skin (and acne sadly) all my life and it actually keeps my skin pretty elastic. I don't really even have many wrinkles. Sometimes people think I'm in my late 20's lol If you don't want too many wrinkles just eat healthy and don't smoke or drink too much alcohol. And wear sunscreen and sunglasses. The drinking part I didn't achieve but I was good with the rest of it lol

Personally I've found that I like myself more as a 36-year-old. I was bullied at school for being chubby and my acne and I felt awful about myself. As a teenager I suffered from anorexia. The older I got though, the more I liked myself and my body. I'm curvy/voluptuous but I don't really mind anymore. I still have people who want to date me and some even loved that I'm more fuller figured. I used to worry so much what people thought of me in general. I was always thinking, does this person like me, what do they think of me. Now I mostly don't care lol

I think the best thing not to regret your youth is to do everything you want. Do things you enjoy and strive to achieve for what you want. Do things that make you happy and when you look back on them, you smile. You will get older whether you like it or not, but if you can look back and think you've had a good time in life, it makes it worth it. One cliche tip also, don't be afraid to go for things. You know that saying, "I only regret things I didn't do." 

Also 23 is seriously not old. If you're going to worry about your age then at least wait until you are actually old lol

[Jibralta]

22 hours ago, FrozenMoon said:

In fact, I was always looking forward to gradually experiencing every phase in life. But since this week, I've done nothing but obsessively think about it. I'm honestly distressed. I had to retreat to the bathroom at work today because I felt tears welling up and didn't want my coworkers to see me that way.

I'm sorry you're feeling so stressed out about this. I don't want to minimize your distress, but it's truly not as bad as you think. There are some benefits to being young, but those benefits mostly have to do with resilience (e.g. collagen production and mental flexibility (which not always a good thing)). And that's literally it. 

This nonsense about youth being better than age is a marketing scam. Industry dangles that carrot in front of people to make a buck. If you stay on that pointless treadmill, you will start deteriorating well before 30. But that will have more to do with your mentality than it will with your age.

Age actually brings more benefits than youth. The trade off is the damned collagen production lol. But it's worth it.

[Seraphim]

6 minutes ago, Jibralta said:

I'm sorry you're feeling so stressed out about this. I don't want to minimize your distress, but it's truly not as bad as you think. There are some benefits to being young, but those benefits mostly have to do with resilience (e.g. collagen production and mental flexibility (which not always a good thing)). And that's literally it. 

This nonsense about youth being better than age is a marketing scam. Industry dangles that carrot in front of people to make a buck. If you stay on that pointless treadmill, you will start deteriorating well before 30. But that will have more to do with your mentality than it will with your age.

Age actually brings more benefits than youth. The trade off is the damned collagen production lol. But it's worth it.

I agree, “ young is better” is a marketing tool, and that is all. I would rather be my age now . I know so much more about myself and the world and everybody else. I would never go back to being young even if somebody paid me. Even if I gripe sometimes about being middle-aged , eh ,I like it. The only part I don’t like is the generation above me dying off. We’ve lost our grandparents many aeons ago and now our parents are dying. 

[Batya33]

I love these perspectives. My mom is in her mid 80s and was far more social (safely!!) during the pandemic than I was/am- lots of friends who she's seen almost daily outdoors.  She is really healthy, exercises daily, does sudoku and reads for brain health, is slim, (and even with no computer or internet she does -yoga and pilates over the phone with her senior citizen group -all free, too). 

On the other hand I lost my dear friend and cousin when she was 34 -to cancer - and my former neighbor who is in her early 30s at most was last I knew addicted to drugs and in and out of jail -single mom of three from two dads -no custody of any of them - and she still looks beautiful at least on Facebook but I can't imagine what she's done to her insides and her mental health.  

I met several men in their 20s and 30s when I was that age and dating who were like old men in their outlook/negativity -meaning the sterotype curmudgeon nonsense - they may have been handsome but who needs that?  Like i wrote above age is not just a number for several purposes but you've taken it way way too far and the stress you're experiencing will cause the wrinkles!

[Jibralta]

On 6/24/2021 at 7:57 AM, FrozenMoon said:

Soon, for the first time in my life, I will no longer be referred to as "the new generation". I will no longer be a student, and I will no longer be "the youngest member" anywhere.

This will take some getting used to. It's strange when, for the first time, you look at people who are 10 years younger than you and they are now in high school, or driving cars, or graduating college, or having jobs.

Yes, they are coming up behind you. You can't stem the tide, so you'll just have to get used to it. And with that, you'll also get used to all sorts of new thought processes, different ways of speaking, different ideas. All the ways that you used to think and speak will be considered antiquated, and you'll think, Hey! I was here first! I'm not old!

And you're not old. Only young people think you're old. At first, that will bother you. But then you'll realize that they're clueless anyway, just running around like headless chickens until the major hormone surges wear off. And you'll watch as they get older, and go through the same life adjustments that you went through, and you'll have a good laugh because you're well past caring about all of that.

You'll come into your own, and discover more and more about yourself. You'll naturally build more self confidence through each experience. It's really a lot of fun.

[Cherylyn]

With all due respect, you're only 23 years old!  Live it up!  I remember when I was 23 years old and old age was NEVER on my radar!  I was extremely busy having a great time!  Enjoy your youth to the hilt.  Old age will creep up on you one day so you might as well take advantage of your youth now while you  have it. 

Concentrate on being young because it will never come back.  One day, you'll look back and think you've wasted far too much time and energy worrying about old age when you could've enjoyed your youth instead. 

Life takes on many, different seasons and stages in due time.  In the meantime, concentrate on what most 23 year olds do such as focusing on your education, career and take good care of your health. 

No need to fret.  Think positively.

[LootieTootie]

OP, I implore you to come back and write your perspective when a decade has pass, and the decade after that, and so on. It's strange because I once read this online when I was 20 and I couldn't relate but now I Can!

Sharing with everyone reading this:

A Geography Of A Woman

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa, half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful.

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe, well-developed and open to trade, especially for someone with cash.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece, gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a glorious and all-conquering past.

Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel, has been through war and doesn't make the same mistakes twice, takes care of business.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada, self-preserving but open to meeting new people.

After 70, she becomes Tibet, wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages; only those with an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge visit there.

The Geography Of A Man

Between 1 and 90, a man is like Iran, ruled by nuts. 

*Sidenote - I disagree with last sentence LOL I'm sure it's a joke.

[dias]

Who wrote this? There is a mistake here. Greece should have been one age range before. And where is Italy?

[LootieTootie]

17 hours ago, dias said:

Who wrote this? There is a mistake here. Greece should have been one age range before. And where is Italy?

I got it an email by a friend who found it online. I got this a LONG time ago when I was 20. I just turned 37 not long ago, haha. I am not sure who wrote it but hey you can definitely tweak it if you like.

[FrozenMoon]

Coming back a few months later now, to reflect on this topic again. I'm currently doing better -- stopping to think about the topic for too long does still get me uneasy, but I've gotten to a point where I believe to have it under control.

The quarter life crisis as mentioned by Seraphim was a new concept to me, but it definitely seems to cover a large amount of what I've been feeling. Throughout the past month, I've been fortunate enough to talk with some peers who seemed to recognize my struggles. I realized that a lot of them had many doubts about their position in life, about how quickly the years were passing, and mostly, about what it meant to not be a kid anymore when being one has been the only reality you've known all your life. It's unknown territory, and that makes it terrifying. I was admittedly doing the worst among my friends, but at least finding out I wasn't alone in these fears, in that moment, was of great support.

I've also reflected, a lot.
- What do you think will change about who you are and who you want to be as you get older?
This, in hindsight, was a key question. I used to be very insecure about myself in the past, struggling to find a version of me that I was happy with -- but through the years and with the feedback from many kind friends, I've finally come to a place where I am confident, comfortable, and genuinely love myself for who I am. I'm an enthusiastic and bubbly person, often described as a source of energy and positivity among my friends. I also always was the youngest. And one way or another, I believe I've intertwined these two concepts, afraid that if I lose one I'll also lose the other.
When I pictured myself as an e.g. 40 year old, I couldn't see the same youthful bundle of energy that I used to be; and I didn't (and frankly, still don't) know what kind of person to replace that with. There's an uncertainty about whether I'll still love myself the same, if I can no longer be the person I've so happily grown into. It sometimes feels like I'm on a countdown to "losing my spark".
That, I think, is what made it such a hard pill to swallow for me.

- Why are you so superficial about something we all know is fleeting / why do you continue to need to be soothed about something every living being faces?
This was a tough question for me to think about, to be honest. There's a part of me that instinctively believes that, since we all face this same problem, it can't be that bad -- but another part that says yes, it is, and we're all just going to have to suffer through it anyway because the world can be a dark place like that.
I think ultimately, I just find it hard to put it in the broader perspective. During my fulltime job this summer, I've had plenty of time alone with my thoughts. I'd sit there ruminating about my fears while everyone else around me seemed to go on happily about their day. I felt very alone with my thoughts and for 8 hours a day I had nothing to help take my mind off it (I worked a production job, so my brain was always free to wander off). What I believe made me so susceptible to this was the fact I had too much time to create that negative mental state and then wander around in it, with nothing to help me redirect my thoughts towards something productive.

- Why do you think these things are harder or mean more to you than anyone else?
I don't believe they're harder on me than on anyone else; I do believe I was doing a poorer job at handling them than the average person, or at least the average person that I externally observed. My thoughts were harder on me. This really was something I was doing to myself.

- What do expect some miracle that will keep you young?
No, none at all. I can either accept what will happen and make the best of it, or continue to dread the inevitable. Life moves on, whichever I pick.

I honestly did shed a little tear when I read all these comments about living in the moment, enjoying the here and now, and all the little things in life. It's not uncommon for me to have these negative thoughts and then later fault myself for spending the day worrying rather than going out and doing things. Because I should be going out and doing things. And fortunately, thoughout July and August, I have; after meeting up with friends a lot, visiting amusement parks, travelling to some new cities, etc etc, I do feel quite refreshed and like I am in a much better state of mind. Sitting at the office 8 hours a day, 5 days a week just wasn't doing me any good. I wasn't moving forward. Perhaps that's partially at the core of what stressed me out so much.

It was also good for me to realize that the world around me hasn't changed a bit between then and now; merely the way I look at it. And yet I am doing so much better. So here we are now, I'm older again -- two whole months! -- but with that time only came improvement. If that isn't evidence, then I don't know what is, haha. I really shouldn't be so scared.

In response to Lootie: if I remember to do so, I surely will! I really like the idea of coming back here when I'm older again, to reflect on and record how things have changed. If anything at all, maybe it can help someone else in the same state I was in when I wrote my initial message. And of course, it'll be a nice little overview of what time in the end has actually done for me.

Love the geography analogy, too!

[Batya33]

Wonderful insights!! I soon turn 55.  On my 25th birthday I started grad school and had decided on that course study ten years earlier, the month of my 15th birthday. On my 30th birthday my boyfriend threw me my one and only surprise birthday party -and boy was I surprised  - and on my 40th birthday he took me hiking which was awesome but between my 30 and 40th birthday we broke up for almost 8 years, now married over 10 years.  

 On my 50th birthday I took my son to the local aquarium because it was free on my birthday and we saved lots of $$ this way lol.  About two weeks later on the same day I interviewed to return to the work force after 7 years, and about 8 hours later my dad passed away -and he'd been instrumental in supporting me in every way to reach my career goals.  I got the offer for the job a few days after his funeral and soon it will be my 5th anniversary at a job I love and is related to what I studied in grad school 30 years ago.  

I share this because I do think there's a lot to be said for reflecting on where you've been and where you're going - but keep in mind that it's fine to Take the Long Way Around (song by "The Chicks" formerly known as The Dixie Chicks). Also please don't get bogged down in comparing or huge abstract goals.  If it helps you, soothes you, keep track of the small things, the baby steps - but be on your own side.  Have your own back.  I'm almost 55, work out daily and yes yes I notice age related crap - it's annoying.  And it doesn't stop me at all.  My 12 year old son even commented the other day how strong my calf muscles look LOL.  

I really love how you looked into what things in your life and environment might be bogging you down -that's impressive because it's so easy to do the pity party thing and say to yourself that it's all wrong, all hopeless.  Good for you!

[Jibralta]

On 8/20/2021 at 7:41 AM, FrozenMoon said:

When I pictured myself as an e.g. 40 year old, I couldn't see the same youthful bundle of energy that I used to be; and I didn't (and frankly, still don't) know what kind of person to replace that with. There's an uncertainty about whether I'll still love myself the same, if I can no longer be the person I've so happily grown into. It sometimes feels like I'm on a countdown to "losing my spark".

The bolded part is interesting to me. It makes aging seem so straightforward, like changing an ink cartridge in a printer. 

It's not like that, of course. It's a gradual process where you become.