Asking for money

[bloempj]

Hey guys,

So I started dating this guy about 2 months ago. We've never met in person. We were introduced through two mutual friends. And from the very first day, we really hit it off and have so much in common. We talk on the phone every day and I can really see a future with him. He lives a six-hour plane ride away from me and I was supposed to go see him last week. But due to covid, the trip got canceled last minute (He had already travelled to the city we were supposed to meet up). He has this course he wants to do next month, which is why I wanted to go visit him this month before he leaves for 3 months. Now he's asking me if he can borrow $1000 to do this course and that he will pay me back. That part of the money he saved for this course was spent on the trip. I can afford to lend him this money, but I'm afraid that this will set the tone for this relationship and he will always be asking for money. What should I do? Tell him no or give him a smaller amount and see how he reacts? How do you guys feel about giving a bf/gf money?

[Wiseman2]

46 minutes ago, bloempj said:

We've never met in person. He lives a six-hour plane ride away   he's asking me if he can borrow $1000 

Fortunately, it seems you already know he's scamming you .

He's not your BF, you never met.

Delete and block him and whoever "introduced" you to this scammer.

[MissCanuck]

No way. 

It's a huge red flag that he's even asking for it to begin with. 

3 hours ago, bloempj said:

How do you guys feel about giving a bf/gf money?

This man isn't your boyfriend, so this question is irrelevant. You aren't dating if you have never met. 

His story sounds like BS anyway. He had already planned the trip, so why did he do so if he knew he wanted to participate in this course and didn't have the money to do both? Doesn't add up. 

Sorry OP, but I would not continue contact with this guy. He sounds shady. 

[LaHermes]

1 hour ago, MissCanuck said:

This man isn't your boyfriend, so this question is irrelevant. You aren't dating if you have never met. 

Exactly. I concur with the advice given by the other posters. 

There is no "future" here OP.  And you are not a lending bank. Or a charitable organization. 

4 hours ago, bloempj said:

I can really see a future with him.

 

[boltnrun]

A stranger asking for money is always a red flag/scam.

Yes, he is a stranger since you have never met. Do you video call or just talk on the phone?

No, do not give him money.

[melancholy123]

7 hours ago, bloempj said:

Hey guys,

So I started dating this guy about 2 months ago. We've never met in person. We were introduced through two mutual friends. And from the very first day, we really hit it off and have so much in common. We talk on the phone every day and I can really see a future with him. He lives a six-hour plane ride away from me and I was supposed to go see him last week. But due to covid, the trip got canceled last minute (He had already travelled to the city we were supposed to meet up). He has this course he wants to do next month, which is why I wanted to go visit him this month before he leaves for 3 months. Now he's asking me if he can borrow $1000 to do this course and that he will pay me back. That part of the money he saved for this course was spent on the trip. I can afford to lend him this money, but I'm afraid that this will set the tone for this relationship and he will always be asking for money. What should I do? Tell him no or give him a smaller amount and see how he reacts? How do you guys feel about giving a bf/gf money?

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!!

You dont know him, you've never met him.  Dont lend money to people, doesn't matter if you think you can afford it or not.  If he doesn't pay you back, then you are screwed over.  Let him earn and save the money he needs.  Dont be a bank.

[bloempj]

1 hour ago, boltnrun said:

Do you video call or just talk on the phone?

We do both

[Batya33]

32 minutes ago, bloempj said:

We do both

It doesn't matter. You are not dating him because he is someone you have never met in person.  At most he is a chat buddy.  Do not give him money and know that someone who would ask for such a large amount of money is not interested in a healthy relationship with you, he's not a person of integrity.  Break off contact ASAP and give him no more information about yourself or your family

[Rose Mosse]

Block and delete this person. Unfortunately, you were probably being groomed during this period and information was being gained about you so that he could exploit you like this. Get rid of his contact permanently. 

[Tinydance]

It's not your problem he spent money on the trip. You were spending money on the trip too. He definitely sounds like a scammer. DO NOT send him the money.

[Tinydance]

It's not your problem he spent money on the trip. You were spending money on the trip too. He definitely sounds like a scammer. DO NOT send him the money.

[limichelle]

No definitely not! 
 

First it’s a thousand for school then another couple grand for something else. This is how scammers hook people. 
 

I would do a google search and background check on this guy. Better yet block and move on.

[lostandhurt]

If you don't want to believe he is a scammer ask him for the info on  the school so you can pay them directly in his name.  If tells you they will only accept payment from the student then you know it is a scam and if he does give you the info you can find out exactly how much this course is.

  Let's say you two had met and he even lived 30 minutes away.  It is pretty presumptuous of him to ask for a loan after "dating" only two months.  If he lived next door to you I would say no to the request.

Besides did he fly first class round trip?  If he spent 1K on a flight he must have flown a long way...

Lost