GGG82 Posted January 30, 2021 Share Posted January 30, 2021 Hi, I'm just after some advice, so I've been sort of friendly with this guy, he recently text me telling me his marriage had broken up. I was being the supportive friend and then things turned flirty, so move forward a few weeks and we've slept together. He invited me to his house made me tea, really got to know me and made me feel special. Well since then I have text him twice, once he said he was busy and the next time he's not even bothered texting me back. Was I used? Link to comment
melancholy123 Posted January 30, 2021 Share Posted January 30, 2021 Oh yes, odds are you are used. So he recently broke up with his wife? Is he divorced? No? Then you are. messing with a married man! He may well have gone back to his wife, so you need to let this one go. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted January 30, 2021 Share Posted January 30, 2021 His wife probably returned from visiting her family or wherever she was, so his little fling with you is now over. Do not attempt to "date" married men and certainly do not sleep with them! Harsh lesson learned, but you will know better for the future. Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted January 30, 2021 Share Posted January 30, 2021 Sounds like a rebound. Sorry Dont date men right out of a relationship. You often become no more than a distraction while they work through the ending of a relationship. And more often than not they return to the relationship. Link to comment
smackie9 Posted January 30, 2021 Share Posted January 30, 2021 OK no one gets used for sex if both parties wanted it. Did he "mislead" you? maybe. If he said he was interested in dating you and start a relationship then yes....BUT if you just assumed he did, that's on you. Link to comment
Spawn Posted January 30, 2021 Share Posted January 30, 2021 He is married so its a sign to run. You both wanted sex and went for it. Love takes time. I did say dont dwell on it, cut him off, never contact him again. Find singles and stay away from marital mess/drama. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted January 30, 2021 Share Posted January 30, 2021 2 hours ago, GGG82 said: I've been sort of friendly with this guy, he recently text me telling me his marriage had broken up. Sorry this happened. No, you weren't "used", you simply flirted and got too involved with a married man. Delete and block him. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted January 31, 2021 Share Posted January 31, 2021 Nobody can use us without our consent. Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted January 31, 2021 Share Posted January 31, 2021 This guy is just looking for sex, yes. Don't bother with men just out of relationships, especially marriages. They're not dating material that soon after a split. Link to comment
Clio Posted January 31, 2021 Share Posted January 31, 2021 On 1/30/2021 at 5:04 PM, GGG82 said: Was I used? Based on what you wrote, you did not ask him for a relationship so no, you were not used. You made the informed choice of having sex with someone who you knew had just broken up (i.e. was most likely in rebound mode/ not in a stable state of mind) without previously clarifying what you were getting yourself into. Based on what you wrote, you chose to have sex with him, no questions asked, and you did. If you wanted a relationship, you should have discussed that with him beforehand. If on the other hand, you asked for a relationship and he promised you one, then yes, you were used. But again, the choice to get with a guy who was a high risk to rebound remains yours. You made a human mistake. Don't beat yourself up over it. Lots of women choose to see what they want to see in a guy who is clearly not a sound emotional investment. Just learn from it so that you don't sell yourself short ever again. Link to comment
LoreliFinn Posted January 31, 2021 Share Posted January 31, 2021 Did you know he was married when you first started talking to this guy? If so, you were sucked into a situationship with a MM. He was having issues in the marriage and you were a distraction. We think we can keep things platonic with these guys as "friends" but often we get to like them a lot because they are so eager to relate & be chummy. MM who are looking for distractions, you will notice they are very easy to strike up so called friendships with other women. Women don't ask these "time wasters" enough questions from the get go. Even then they can BS you. Look at the situation logically - they are married. Which means - run for the hills! Link to comment
waffle Posted January 31, 2021 Share Posted January 31, 2021 On 1/30/2021 at 10:04 AM, GGG82 said: . . . so I've been sort of friendly with this guy, he recently text me telling me his marriage had broken up. I was being the supportive friend . . . Who is this guy? How do you know him? And how well do you know him? Were you "used"? I suppose so. I'm not sure I'd look at it that way, thought; I'd look at it as an error in judgment and a learning experience. If you're up for a little fun and can just walk away (like he can) then that's one thing. But for something more, keep in mind that a married man, especially one who (claims his) marriage just broke up, is always a bad bet. And I do mean ALWAYS. Link to comment
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