Discussions on social media and 'influencers'

[ironi]

Hi everyone,

 

I thought maybe I could get some clarity and spark some discussions.

 

Ok firstly my view on social media - when I was young everything was up on Facebook and twitter, I then dated a VERY insecure man who made me delete all social media and for about 3 years I got into the habit of never using it. Never felt the urge, even when we broke up it took me 2 years after to remake social media accounts - I felt at a loss on what to actually post. Luckily I worked in a high corporate job where posting anything other than charity/ events or sports related pictures was very 'frowned upon'.

 

So now I'm 31 with a Facebook profile with only 2 pictures an instagram account with 4 and that's it. I have given online dating a go and find that because I don't have lots of pictures online I'm not real or normal or 'cool'. Ive been out with lots of girls that are constantly videoing every little thing whereas I forget to take pictures (which I do regret if its a awesome night) but I just don't have that reflex.

 

I have met ALOT of people who find me very weird and also think I don't have a life because I don't post anything on social media. My best friends have even said 'you don't go out much' when I actually had a (pre pandemic) healthy active social life. I just don't see the point of posting my food, my drinks or whatever Im doing. I don't think Im sending a positive message out in the world. I sometimes feel people post to show off.

 

I am pursing starting my own business and of course 'social media' is right up there, its free marketing. Influencers now are so famous and very successful in tapping into it, sharing their lives and pictures all over the internet. I think my one fear is 'What if I become a meme?' haha - but my content everyone wants to see a face, see a person and then build a trust and you have 'followers' who will also follow through into your business. So its all a knock on effect. However, I also see social media as very negative because lets be honest it can make you very insecure and you never see the 'full picture' I don't like that. I don't want to jump on the bandwagon of the dark side of it. I say this as personal experience of comparing my life to others just from a picture, feel sad my body isnt 'summer ready' etc and then I have to snap myself out of it.

 

I have been working with a few people now that have said for my business to succeed I need to start being the face of it. I must post more pictures of myself than the product. I'm open to it but then I feel that I'm giving into this trend. But maybe its not a trend and I need to move with the times?

 

What are your thoughts? Do you share everything on social media? Has it helped? Are you an influencer?

[LaHermes]

"Do you share everything on social media? Has it helped? Are you an influencer?"

 

Ironi. Quick answer: NO.

 

I agree with you.

 

"I just don't see the point of posting my food, my drinks or whatever Im doing. "

[Batya33]

I use Facebook to keep in touch with friends and family, to be active in certain groups, including parenting groups. I use Linkedin to network and to make and maintain professional connections. I have an IG account I don't use. My son is 11. I've posted 3 photos of him including one that was in the newspaper -a picture of us from behind. I let certain people post photos of him - school related activities and once in awhile a friend is allowed to -once in a great while -without him tagged. My husband is on FB nominally. I comment on other peoples' post and occasionally post for a specific reason -usually seeking advice, usually not personal in the least. When I went back to work after becoming a mom - I'd been on facebook approximately 7 years (when I started interviewing). Despite never posting photos of what I was eating, where I traveled, what I was doing, of my son, etc - most of my first interviews were from people I'd connected with -or developed a connection with after meeting in person -on Facebook. I was new to my city (well, 5 years in but had never worked in that city) and that was because I private messaged with people I connected with on FB and was active in certain groups -no political groups, no MLM groups.

 

So who cares what your friends or others think about your social life? I think FB and Linkedin are great for me -in the way I use it. One of my friends posted a few months ago with all these apologies about how she was too silent about the social justice issues in our city and how she realized that since she was not a minority she must seem like she didn't care because she didn't post on social media. I asked her - privately -why in the world would she think that others would think she didn't care just because she didn't blurt out all her opinions on social media? Her response was she understood that FB wasn't my "platform." Then I understood -she is in her late 30s -she has this assumption that we all need a "platform" and that social media provides a "platform". To me that's hogwash and bizarre. I don't want or need a platform - my job doesn't require it, I don't want to be "out there" on social media with a "platform" and I have a very robust private life despite being an extrovert and chatty. I am chatty with my friends -not on social media, publicly. I don't relate at all to sharing minutae on social media. Do I ever? Yes, sometimes in comments -for example I'm part of a daily thread a friend started where we post "one good thing" of the day -so the other day I posted that I thoroughly enjoyed a mini reeses peanut butter cup without hiding it from my family lol. But no it would not occur to me -and it would make me nauseous to consider - posting anecdotes like that on any regular basis as "posts" for my friends to "like" or approve of - "isn't she so cute/funny/clever/open" - Blech.

 

I have many FB friends who regularly post minutae, who act like they are reporters with the scoop on what's going on in the world - who think that they have to post their (unoriginal) opinions on everything under the sun. On the other hand, in my moms group, people ask questions about the most minute,teensy weensy "problems" like how to get sharpie out of clothing or how to do a drive by gender reveal party where they also get gifts. But you know what -that's a moms group - it's meant for questions like that -it's ok. They're using the group the way it's meant to be used.

 

Thanks for "listening" - go on social media if you desire to - be an influencer if you desire to - and no social media cannot make you anything -cannot make you insecure - it's how you choose to react to what you see posted. I love FB because I can keep connected to people I like, because I have two friends who actually do post hilariously funny jokes very often, and another who posts daily short youtube videos of the puppets in her puppeteer business that is now covid-defunct - I ignore the braggy posts, ignore the political posts, ignore the countless holiday shopping/how to sit on Santa's lap without getting covid cooties posts, ignore the assumptions that I must be liberal/privileged/racist/want to raise one million dollars for teacher supplies/want to resuce kittens/dogs/guinea pigs/want to buy one of many many many MLM products. Just stay in your lane and use social media exactly in the way it is good and comfortable for you. And if that means you do not use it then don't.

[Rose Mosse]

I have no social media and have yet to create a linkedin profile. I think you're associating with people in your personal life who appear shallow and shortsighted.

 

It's probably a good idea to separate your personal life from your business profile and what you're promoting.

[DancingFool]

It depends on your business really. I have launched a business where I do market heavily through social media. I've never made myself "the face" of my business or products. Yet the accounts are highly popular and successful.

 

Basically, there are millions of faces and wanna be influencers out there so if you want to stand out from the crowd in terms of marketing, you need to come up with something different and at the same time, something interesting enough to draw people in.

 

On a personal level, I've never liked social media and don't use it for personal things. I have accounts, but I don't post. When it comes to friends, part of it is actually finding like minded people. If you have "friends" telling you that you don't have a life because you don't post on social media...obviously they don't really know you in real life or spend time enough or talk to you enough to actually know you and your life. I've never had friends tell me that I don't have a life because we were all there last night face to face and talk often enough in real life to know what's going on.

[Seraphim]

No, not an influencer but my business is on FB.

[Jibralta]

I have been working with a few people now that have said for my business to succeed I need to start being the face of it. I must post more pictures of myself than the product.

 

Nah, I think that's a backwards mentality. Just look around on social media. There are tons of successful businesses that don't follow that rule. Even I, who am not on social media, can see this is true by following the links on the businesses' websites. Most of them post pictures of their products.

 

I must post more pictures of myself than the product.

 

I have a good friend who does believe this^ and as much as I love her, I have to laugh at her. One day, she decided to become an author and started to promote herself as such on Facebook. She joined all of these author groups and started to network and make friends through them. And, to her credit, she did write a couple of books.

 

Was she successful? Ehhhhh...... If you saw how many followers she had, you might think so. But if you knew who the large majority of those followers actually were (other aspiring authors), you'd probably think not. And I could almost guarantee that you've never heard of her.

 

One day, she asked me to come with her to a book signing and I did. You know what it was? It was all of the other authors from one of her facebook groups, mainly homemakers like herself, setting up booths and going around and seeing everyone else's booths. I don't think there was one person there who was not part of the facebook group or related to them in some way. So what were they really doing but pumping up their own self-images?

 

Very strange indeed. But I let her be. It's important to her.

[Batya33]

Nah, I think that's a backwards mentality. Just look around on social media. There are tons of successful businesses that don't follow that rule. Even I, who am not on social media, can see this is true by following the links on the businesses' websites. Most of them post pictures of their products.

 

 

 

I have a good friend who does believe this^ and as much as I love her, I have to laugh at her. One day, she decided to become an author and started to promote herself as such on Facebook. She joined all of these author groups and started to network and make friends through them. And, to her credit, she did write a couple of books.

 

Was she successful? Ehhhhh...... If you saw how many followers she had, you might think so. But if you knew who the large majority of those followers actually were (other aspiring authors), you'd probably think not. And I could almost guarantee that you've never heard of her.

 

One day, she asked me to come with her to a book signing and I did. You know what it was? It was all of the other authors from one of her facebook groups, mainly homemakers like herself, setting up booths and going around and seeing everyone else's booths. I don't think there was one person there who was not part of the facebook group or related to them in some way. So what were they really doing but pumping up their own self-images?

 

Very strange indeed. But I let her be. It's important to her.

 

I have a friend who started a mom blog recently. She has some interesting life experiences and stories to tell but -nothing new at all under the sun. Nothing original and she doesn't bring any professional knowledge to the table either. So it's like hundreds of other blogs that might as well just be personal journals. Now she's resorted to doing product giveaways and entering all sorts of mom blog contests. She also wrote a children's book and is just shocked that she has yet to find an agent for it. I just do not get it but maybe now I do -is it possible she's influenced too much by social media and how it "seems" that people are "influencers" and getting recognized when in fact it's as you wrote -just other aspiring bloggers/authors and not the people who will actually increase her influence.

 

I have another friend, by contrast, who writes books on a very specific, professional subject and gears them to women. It's not an overdone subject. She has the professional background. What she says seems very helpful -meaning if I needed that sort of knowledge I would read her books/her facebook site, her articles. She seems to have a very realistic and humble opinion of herself and her work. She does not post photos of herself -she posts her articles, information about her books and latest book projects, and blog entries that have to do with her area of expertise. She has a good following and she has published and has an agent. I don't think she relies solely on Facebook nor does she seem to aspire to be an influencer. She is an author and a professional first and foremost. And has a sense of perspective and reality about it. I like thinking of FAcebook as one tool among many to market your product or service rather than being a means to an end with the goal of being an "influencer" -that seems empty and frivolous.

[Jibralta]

Now she's resorted to doing product giveaways and entering all sorts of mom blog contests. She also wrote a children's book and is just shocked that she has yet to find an agent for it.... it "seems" that people are "influencers" and getting recognized when in fact it's... just other aspiring bloggers/authors and not the people who will actually increase her influence.

 

Similar with my friend... It's like she's trapped in a hall of mirrors.

[Wiseman2]

It depends on what your selling.