Life in the Driver’s Seat (extended)

[Seraphim]

2 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

As a chiropractor I listen to on the radio likes to say “if the car was damaged you were damaged “. Not to say it’s serious ! But according to him there’s always an impact that should be checked out. 

If I have to drive her she will be going . The issue is her back is so severely damaged because she has damaged vertebrae everywhere. She’s broken her back four times she’s got disintegrating discs in her neck. She’s just an entire disaster. She doesn’t even walk upright. She walks at like a 30° angle so she would never go to any chiropractor because they would probably break her bones because her osteoporosis is so bad.

[Batya33]

2 hours ago, Seraphim said:

If I have to drive her she will be going . The issue is her back is so severely damaged because she has damaged vertebrae everywhere. She’s broken her back four times she’s got disintegrating discs in her neck. She’s just an entire disaster. She doesn’t even walk upright. She walks at like a 30° angle so she would never go to any chiropractor because they would probably break her bones because her osteoporosis is so bad.

I hope it's ok to share about me - two day ago - missed call early evening.  Meaning I didn't answer as it's so often scam/spam.  But I google because it looked a bit like corporate.  It's a hospital near my mother. Turns out she - passed out in her home right near her BFF as they were preparing to leave for a walk - did not fall hard or injure but BFF called 911.  Hours in the ER and all checked out - they did many many tests -but I guess I was listed as emergency contact (we live hundreds of miles away as does my amazing sister) and maybe they were seeing who could pick her up to take her home.  

She very obviously was not going to tell me - I was able to reach the ER doc, able to reach mom when she got home, as was my sister- and she sounded fabulous.  Instructions are to follow up with primary doc "no I don't need to -4 doctors saw me, they tested everything, etc" - so I was able to find out name of her doc, called doc, and now we're all on board with monitoring.  My mom feels - great -went to her senior exercise class yesterday etc (she never drove- all is within close walking distance).  So I'm crossing my fingers and toes, we're in touch with her all the time and she does have life alert, so many friends, neighbors, the building staff where I grew up - and - so stubborn.  

Also to add - this is the first time in 10 years she's been hospitalized or had more than a cold -some dizzy spells a few months ago and she's on salt pills.  But each time I have to deal with health providers particularly with an emergency or scary diagnosis - I wonder - what about the so many people who for whatever reason -age, disability, lack of resources, cannot advocate for themselves with healthcare providers, have no one to advocate on their behalf.

OK I made it about me but when I saw about your mom I thought -wow we're going through similar stuff this week.  May our mothers be well and heal quickly.  

[Seraphim]

For sure ! I hope your mom is ok! 

[Batya33]

2 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

For sure ! I hope your mom is ok! 

She is and - you know that other shoe to drop waiting feeling - but yes she's great.  THANK YOU!

[Seraphim]

There are two active cases of measles in two adults in our community ( the adjacent civie town) 

[Seraphim]

The county health dept has set up an emergency vaccination clinic for measles. 
 

 

I was with my mom yesterday and helped her get her car into the collision repair facility and into her rental car and got her medications and her earring aids cleaned and working . Then had dinner with her and came home . I have pulled a muscle in my back while packing . 🥴

[Seraphim]

My mom went to the doctor yesterday and she has soft tissue damage to her shoulders from the seat belt and she has a concussion. 

[boltnrun]

11 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

My mom went to the doctor yesterday and she has soft tissue damage to her shoulders from the seat belt and she has a concussion. 

Ugh, concussions are no fun.  I've had two and both times the headaches were awful.  I hope she's feeling better soon.

[Seraphim]

21 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

Ugh, concussions are no fun.  I've had two and both times the headaches were awful.  I hope she's feeling better soon.

For sure . I have had about 5 and my husband has had 8. I am sure you can remember the one from almost 2 years ago. She isn’t doing herself any favors. She was out driving today to meet with my step sister . I told her to stay home and not watch TV or her phone and just close her eyes. 

[Seraphim]

I had a memory come up in FB , we had 734 days of Covid restrictions in our province. It was gruelling just gruelling . The restrictions ended 2 years ago on the 21st . My son is just starting to recover. A few weeks ago he started laughing and smiling again. 

[itsallgrand]

3 hours ago, Seraphim said:

I had a memory come up in FB , we had 734 days of Covid restrictions in our province. It was gruelling just gruelling . The restrictions ended 2 years ago on the 21st . My son is just starting to recover. A few weeks ago he started laughing and smiling again. 

Funny I was just thinking of that today. Ugh your poor son. It was hard enough as a full grown person with years of experience to draw on, but for young people...what a mind screw. 

That time feels lost and fuzzy and sometimes I have a hard time remembering how long it's been or how long we spent in it. 

 

[boltnrun]

The pandemic did a number on my mental health (as it did with millions of others). I didn't have  problems from the shutdowns but rather from people who ignored regulations and therefore needlessly exposed others.  THAT was what got me all screwed up. I haven't been the same since. 

I'm glad your son is doing better.

[Seraphim]

1 hour ago, itsallgrand said:

Funny I was just thinking of that today. Ugh your poor son. It was hard enough as a full grown person with years of experience to draw on, but for young people...what a mind screw. 

That time feels lost and fuzzy and sometimes I have a hard time remembering how long it's been or how long we spent in it. 

 

It was a mind screw. I feel so bad for younger generations. My son’s generation was just obliterated. The younger kids their education was obliterated. 
 

I could take it. I had some hairy mental health moments but I could take it . It is what it did to my son that just killed me. I am so so so happy to see him coming back into himself . 

[Seraphim]

1 hour ago, boltnrun said:

The pandemic did a number on my mental health (as it did with millions of others). I didn't have  problems from the shutdowns but rather from people who ignored regulations and therefore needlessly exposed others.  THAT was what got me all screwed up. I haven't been the same since. 

I'm glad your son is doing better.

I am sorry, I know how much you have struggled and how you still are . We followed the regulations, however over 700 days of regulations it was soul breaking to so many. 

[Seraphim]

[Seraphim]

Snippet from childhood:  Home Depot Parent

My very first day of highschool, grade 8. My dad signed me up to a school but refused to tell me the name. On my first day of school he says , “ get out and go to school.” I said, “ but how I don’t know the name or which way or anything.” He said, “ I don’t care get out and follow the other kids and get out. “ I said,” but dad, what if they are going to a different school?” He shoved me out the door and locked it. So I had to follow kids onto the city bus that I hoped would be my school. By the grace of God it was. He gave me no pen , no pencil , no paper. I had to beg off of other students and the teacher  well well into the semester. He gave me no lunch and no money. 
 

So, when I see what some people cry about today my eyes roll back into my head. 

[mylolita]

25 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

Snippet from childhood:  Home Depot Parent

My very first day of highschool, grade 8. My dad signed me up to a school but refused to tell me the name. On my first day of school he says , “ get out and go to school.” I said, “ but how I don’t know the name or which way or anything.” He said, “ I don’t care get out and follow the other kids and get out. “ I said,” but dad, what if they are going to a different school?” He shoved me out the door and locked it. So I had to follow kids onto the city bus that I hoped would be my school. By the grace of God it was. He gave me no pen , no pencil , no paper. I had to beg off of other students and the teacher  well well into the semester. He gave me no lunch and no money. 
 

So, when I see what some people cry about today my eyes roll back into my head. 

It is all perspective Seraphim for sure.

 

To some people, that scenario would be a good one! Which is insane to think peoples childhoods can be that bad. There are always people worse off. 

 

I saw a little girl no older than my two year old baby using a frame walker to get about round a shop yesterday. The Mum was quite abrupt with her and her older brother. She also lifted her by one arm when she didn’t want to leave the toy aisle. I was so glad my kids weren’t with me. I made conversation with her to try and diffuse the mum. Sometimes; I get this huge urge when I see parents and their kids battling over a toy and I presume they are short, just because they act and look rough, might have way more money than everyone in the store who knows! But it’s normally obvious they don’t. I have huge urges to give the parents £500 or something, just so the kid can have the toy or the colouring book and they can have their horrible aggressive mood maybe lifted for one day to not take it out on the kids.

 

Then I realise I can’t do that, and it probably wouldn’t help, and who am I to think I can give some money out and all the problems go away? Probably get my face slapped for being a snobby interfering cow! And I’d soon have nothing left for my own kids if I did that every time I was out! The urge is still there anyway! 
 

Childhood is so important. I’m sorry you had a real tough one. I can’t stop thinking about that little girl and if whatever condition she has will be there for the rest of her life and, what caused it? Her Mum looked like she might have been on drugs or definitely an ex user. I know the look when I see it. I came away from that shop completely depressed and feeling so lucky that my kids are healthy and cared for and live where we do, in the house we do, with the things they have, safe and warm, always with plenty of food and anything they need.

You have broke the cycle with how well you raised and are raising your son. 
 

x

 

 

[Seraphim]

5 minutes ago, mylolita said:

It is all perspective Seraphim for sure.

 

To some people, that scenario would be a good one! Which is insane to think peoples childhoods can be that bad. There are always people worse off. 

 

I saw a little girl no older than my two year old baby using a frame walker to get about round a shop yesterday. The Mum was quite abrupt with her and her older brother. She also lifted her by one arm when she didn’t want to leave the toy aisle. I was so glad my kids weren’t with me. I made conversation with her to try and diffuse the mum. Sometimes; I get this huge urge when I see parents and their kids battling over a toy and I presume they are short, just because they act and look rough, might have way more money than everyone in the store who knows! But it’s normally obvious they don’t. I have huge urges to give the parents £500 or something, just so the kid can have the toy or the colouring book and they can have their horrible aggressive mood maybe lifted for one day to not take it out on the kids.

 

Then I realise I can’t do that, and it probably wouldn’t help, and who am I to think I can give some money out and all the problems go away? Probably get my face slapped for being a snobby interfering cow! And I’d soon have nothing left for my own kids if I did that every time I was out! The urge is still there anyway! 
 

Childhood is so important. I’m sorry you had a real tough one. I can’t stop thinking about that little girl and if whatever condition she has will be there for the rest of her life and, what caused it? Her Mum looked like she might have been on drugs or definitely an ex user. I know the look when I see it. I came away from that shop completely depressed and feeling so lucky that my kids are healthy and cared for and live where we do, in the house we do, with the things they have, safe and warm, always with plenty of food and anything they need.

You have broke the cycle with how well you raised and are raising your son. 
 

x

 

 

Absolutely it is perspective. I can have a hard kick your azz perspective because that is what I was given and different generational society I was raised in .  When I roll my eyes I 99.9% of the time keep it to myself because I know why I have the perspective. So I would say I use compassion 99 % of the time . Sometimes that indignant hurt child bursts out . I hug her and tell her it is okay to be angry. You have a lot to be angry about and she calms down. 
 

That poor little mite, that is so sad .😞 I see rough parents as well and it breaks my adult and little girl heart. 
 

You are right, I have tried my very utmost to do the very best I can for my own child. My dad could never overcome being abused but I am so glad I did . 

[Seraphim]

[Seraphim]

Happy 78th birthday to my mom. ❤️

[Seraphim]

Last night I started my new police check for my new job. We leave here next week. Coming super fast. We had our pre move inspection from base housing, they said our place was absolutely awesome and A+ standard , exceptionally clean and no damage . 

[boltnrun]

New job? What will you be doing?

[Seraphim]

Just now, boltnrun said:

New job? What will you be doing?

My husband’s cousin has a school bus company. They want me to drive for them and do office work. It was his uncle’s company but his uncle died 26 years ago. So his aunt took it over and her daughters took it over from her . So I won’t be doing daycare anymore . 😢 It is sad for my son especially because he won’t have a job anymore . We will have to find him something there . 

[Seraphim]

But I can’t have kids in the house with my mom there because my mom’s health is not good enough to take whatever kids bring in.

[boltnrun]

I don't know if he would like a public facing job, but the automated carwash I go to nearby hires neurodivergent people. It's a relatively easy job. They hand the customers packaged wipes for them to use to clean the dashboard and then direct them to drive into the carwash and instruct them to put their cars in neutral. It certainly is not a challenging job and is probably not as fun as working with kids, but it's a way to earn a paycheck. Their hiring practices are big reason why I will continue to bring them my business.

Does he like being outdoors? Maybe a job doing gardening for a landscaping business?