Life in the Driver’s Seat (extended)

[boltnrun]

7 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

She as of yet not got off her rear to even so much as get her self a cup of coffee in the morning let alone anything else. I am getting irritated so I am just not getting it anymore . 

Are you confident this will work out? Being in a continual state of annoyance and/or irritation isn't healthy, mentally or physically.

Sometimes when we're in a situation we can't change the only thing we can do is change how it affects us or how we react. I hope you're able to get to a place where you aren't irritated or annoyed any longer if this living situation is permanent. 

[Seraphim]

13 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

Are you confident this will work out? Being in a continual state of annoyance and/or irritation isn't healthy, mentally or physically.

Sometimes when we're in a situation we can't change the only thing we can do is change how it affects us or how we react. I hope you're able to get to a place where you aren't irritated or annoyed any longer if this living situation is permanent. 

It is permanent she won’t go to retirement home. Out right refuses she is terrified of that. She is terrified of people and almost every situation since my step dad died. She was less like this when younger but much much much less and had to do things because my dad was useless. But she has totally devolved since my step dad died. 
 

I think much will be better when I am working and she has her own room. 

[Seraphim]

She is also a friend of doctor Google and googles her conditions and next thing you know she has ALL the symptoms of the condition she didn’t have last week. I feel like throwing her phone in the trash. 

[boltnrun]

1 hour ago, Seraphim said:

I think much will be better when I am working and she has her own room. 

Maybe she will be forced to find different ways to fill her time. Which is good. Relying solely on you for her interactions isn't good for either of you. 

Does she enjoy reading? Any kind of crafts or sewing? Puzzles? 

[Seraphim]

6 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

Maybe she will be forced to find different ways to fill her time. Which is good. Relying solely on you for her interactions isn't good for either of you. 

Does she enjoy reading? Any kind of crafts or sewing? Puzzles? 

She does Duolingo every day and word puzzles on her phone. She has very severe osteoarthritis in her fingers and they are all bent sideways so too much use of her hands is hard for her . 

[itsallgrand]

Sharing a bed with my favorite aunt for two nights in a hotel and I was getting cranky lol. She is partially deaf and can't fall asleep without the TV. I would wait for her to snore to turn it off because otherwise I wouldn't sleep. Then she is up at the buttcrack of dawn lol. Love her, but sharing a bed or even a room is challenging. 

I think you are right it'll be a lot better once she has her room and you are working. Too much togetherness blows as we know from lockdowns !

[Seraphim]

52 minutes ago, itsallgrand said:

Sharing a bed with my favorite aunt for two nights in a hotel and I was getting cranky lol. She is partially deaf and can't fall asleep without the TV. I would wait for her to snore to turn it off because otherwise I wouldn't sleep. Then she is up at the buttcrack of dawn lol. Love her, but sharing a bed or even a room is challenging. 

I think you are right it'll be a lot better once she has her room and you are working. Too much togetherness blows as we know from lockdowns !

Right it is that kind of thing , too much togetherness. And the sleeping in the same bed. 

[Seraphim]

Yay! My mom got her medications . 

[Seraphim]

My honey is almost home for the weekend !!! ❤️❤️❤️

[Jaunty]

1 hour ago, Seraphim said:

My honey is almost home for the weekend !!! ❤️❤️❤️

Dare I ask ... where are you going to sleep?   😆

[Seraphim]

Just now, Jaunty said:

Dare I ask ... where are you going to sleep?   😆

One on each sofa. 🥴

[Jaunty]

33 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

One on each sofa. 🥴

Grrrr.  Oh well, it's temporary and I'm very happy he's coming home for a visit.  

[Seraphim]

15 hours ago, Jaunty said:

Grrrr.  Oh well, it's temporary and I'm very happy he's coming home for a visit.  

Me too. 

[Seraphim]

I finally have to admit no more nuts ever again. I was vomiting and vomiting and stuck to the toilet for hours today after eating nuts . Vomiting and diarrhea are signs of food allergy. 

[Seraphim]

I start work tomorrow as a bus monitor. 

[Seraphim]

Well this devolved quickly . Because I didn’t “ buy her a treat” and I said well you ate an entire large chocolate bar and a can of nuts I didn’t think you would need a “ treat” I am apparently “ like my father” and make her feel worthless. I am ***ing FUMING . She says saying you ACTED like your father in that instance and you ARE like your father are different therefore okay to say. No the F it ain’t and there couldn’t be a bigger insult to me and it was done on purpose . Now I am “ mean” and she went for a drive . 

[Seraphim]

And she says that in front of my son who is totally shocked his mouth hanging open and he says , Nana, what the F that is a horrible thing to say to my mom. 

[Seraphim]

So, yeah, my feelings are really hurt and she expects it is just going to fluff over . Nope . 

[Seraphim]

This morning I told my mom that her character assassination of me was not ok. I am glad I spoke up . 
 

Work is going ok. 

[Batya33]

1 hour ago, Seraphim said:

This morning I told my mom that her character assassination of me was not ok. I am glad I spoke up . 
 

Work is going ok. 

Good for you!

[Seraphim]

On Sunday my mom says I was all alone on Mother’s Day last year. I didn’t think so as I have never done that ever. Well , this morning I find the pictures from last year on my phone. I was there. My husband was there. My son was there. My brother was there my brother‘s girlfriend…… yup so alone. Do I tell her ? 😂

[Batya33]

28 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

On Sunday my mom says I was all alone on Mother’s Day last year. I didn’t think so as I have never done that ever. Well , this morning I find the pictures from last year on my phone. I was there. My husband was there. My son was there. My brother was there my brother‘s girlfriend…… yup so alone. Do I tell her ? 😂

Yes, I would in a gentle, thoughtful way and also as part of the fun of looking at photos.

[boltnrun]

My mother was clinically depressed and as a result was constantly trying to make herself the center of my attention (even when I literally had a newborn son). It was really hard to deal with.

I hope your mom settles down and understands you can still love her without making her the center of your universe. 

[Seraphim]

39 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

My mother was clinically depressed and as a result was constantly trying to make herself the center of my attention (even when I literally had a newborn son). It was really hard to deal with.

I hope your mom settles down and understands you can still love her without making her the center of your universe. 

I think that is it. It is depression about not having her husband so she is clinging to me with a death grip. Combined with the fact she can barely hear with hearings aids let alone any other time and she can barely walk so she feels massively vulnerable. That feeling along with depression isn’t a good combo. She does have medication for that but it is the tiniest dose , the smallest that medication has. Personally, I think it needs to be increased and she needs to continue therapy. 
 

She won’t leave me for 5 seconds. She even insisted on going with me to my doctor’s appointment yesterday which took 5 hours just there and back and complained the ENTIRE way about her neck and back from the car accident and it is too warm for me ( it was 16 C) and on and on and on. I thought I was going to get some freedom, but nope . 

[Seraphim]

She even wanted to meet my doctor . 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️Mom! I am almost a 60 year old woman. You don’t need to meet my doctor . FFS.