boltnrun Posted May 14 Share Posted May 14 I see a lot of parents who struggle to let go. Or those who wistfully say "I wish my kids could go back to being babies again!" I find many of those people struggle with their identities or what to do with themselves after their children are adults and no longer need their parents to feed, clothe, house and guide them. I feel the opposite. My kids are functioning, productive adults and I couldn't be more proud. They don't need me to tell them how to do this or that. It frees me to do things I want to do without worrying how being away for a week or not feeling like cooking dinner will affect them. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted May 14 Author Share Posted May 14 19 minutes ago, boltnrun said: I see a lot of parents who struggle to let go. Or those who wistfully say "I wish my kids could go back to being babies again!" I find many of those people struggle with their identities or what to do with themselves after their children are adults and no longer need their parents to feed, clothe, house and guide them. I feel the opposite. My kids are functioning, productive adults and I couldn't be more proud. They don't need me to tell them how to do this or that. It frees me to do things I want to do without worrying how being away for a week or not feeling like cooking dinner will affect them. She was like this much much much more when my step dad was alive. I would call her and she would literally hang up after one minute . She would be like , “ talking to N , have to go byeeeeee” But since he died she is Velcro. 1 Link to comment
boltnrun Posted May 14 Share Posted May 14 14 minutes ago, Seraphim said: She was like this much much much more when my step dad was alive. I would call her and she would literally hang up after one minute . She would be like , “ talking to N , have to go byeeeeee” But since he died she is Velcro. That's too bad. And both sad and understandable. She doesn't know what to do with herself when she's not someone's wife or mothering a child. It can definitely be a difficult transition for sure. Are she and your son close? Most grandparents dote on their grandchildren. I for one would LOVE a grandchild 😌 Link to comment
Seraphim Posted May 14 Author Share Posted May 14 1 minute ago, boltnrun said: That's too bad. And both sad and understandable. She doesn't know what to do with herself when she's not someone's wife or mothering a child. It can definitely be a difficult transition for sure. Are she and your son close? Most grandparents dote on their grandchildren. I for one would LOVE a grandchild 😌 They are close, yes. But she has 17 grandchildren and great grandchildren. She had an identity as a business executive for several decades but spent 2 decades raising other people’s kids ( foster kids) and 28 years as a happy wife to my step dad. I think in part what you say is true. She is lost in what to do with herself because she is so so physically limited. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted May 14 Share Posted May 14 I can only imagine. I'm fortunate that while I live alone I am still pretty much able to get around and travel and see friends and attend events. My health isn't terrific but I can still do a lot. I can't imagine how I'd deal with being basically homebound. It must be so tough, and tough on you as well to not only witness it but to be the one she relies on for everything including human interaction. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted May 14 Author Share Posted May 14 13 minutes ago, boltnrun said: I can only imagine. I'm fortunate that while I live alone I am still pretty much able to get around and travel and see friends and attend events. My health isn't terrific but I can still do a lot. I can't imagine how I'd deal with being basically homebound. It must be so tough, and tough on you as well to not only witness it but to be the one she relies on for everything including human interaction. Yes, that is the issue. She is totally out of her element now with no friends here and no sisters in law here etc. The seniors programs have wrapped up because summer starts next weekend . Today I went to Walmart and she went some place else so I had an hour away from her . Last night was horrible . She never goes to bed before 11:30 and when she takes her hearing aids out she leaves them whistling and screaming for an hour before she plugs them in because well she can’t hear them . So I had ZERO alone time from so I stayed up until midnight. I get into bed and she slaps me and says who the hell is that. I bite back who the Eff do you think??!! Oh sorry she says. Then when I JUST drop off to sleep she gets up to go to the bathroom and wakes me up. I had JUST fallen back asleep and she comes back from the bathroom and you guessed it , wakes me up. So I went back to the couch and at 5 AM my cat is licking my face and eating my hair and wants food. So today I have the “ unmitigated nerve “ to be grouchy. 🙄Because I had to get up for work at 6:30. 1 Link to comment
Seraphim Posted May 14 Author Share Posted May 14 Her mattress comes Sat. She can sleep on that. I am throwing her in her room and holding the door shut . 🤪🤣 1 1 Link to comment
mylolita Posted May 14 Share Posted May 14 2 hours ago, Seraphim said: Her mattress comes Sat. She can sleep on that. I am throwing her in her room and holding the door shut . 🤪🤣 Ever heard of a little something called…Chloroform? 😆 x 1 Link to comment
Seraphim Posted May 15 Author Share Posted May 15 I had a much better sleep last night . I think the only way to do it is for me to go to sleep first. My mom will have her mattress and dresser Sat but the bed frame comes end of the month. I bought an air purifier this year. The country is on fire again. BC and Alberta are in flames and the bad air will be hitting us soon enough. My mom has severe breathing issues and allergies. I have KN95 masks for her if it is smoky season. Work is done for the summer on June 27. Just sitting here drinking my tea to get ready to go to work. The garage is 15 minutes from my house . 1 Link to comment
Seraphim Posted May 15 Author Share Posted May 15 Hahaha our town is so banjo it has ATV and snowmobile crossing signs on the main street. 🤣🤣🤣 Link to comment
Seraphim Posted May 16 Author Share Posted May 16 Thank God ! Two more arffen days and she has her own mattress. 1 Link to comment
Seraphim Posted May 16 Author Share Posted May 16 Our central AC is broken . 🥵And it is starting to get too warm. I will have to call someone . 1 Link to comment
Seraphim Posted May 17 Author Share Posted May 17 3 Queens and a King Queen Victoria ( seated) . Right next to her the future Queen Mary, and next to future Queen Mary her mother-in-law future Queen Alexandra. The baby is future King Edward VIII oldest child of the future Queen Mary, grandson of Alexandra and great grandson of Queen Victoria . King Edward VIII was older brother of King George VI who was Queen Elizabeth II ‘s father . Link to comment
Seraphim Posted May 17 Author Share Posted May 17 She needs friends , seriously. The endless talking . And now if I don’t look at her directly when answering I am rude . We made the decision I would go to sleep first, great. I was in a deep deep sleep, she comes into the room kicks her walker and SCCCCCRRRREAMS. I was no longer asleep. I quit . 😵💫😰 Link to comment
Seraphim Posted May 17 Author Share Posted May 17 Thank goodness my husband comes today for four days. It is the Victoria Day weekend, the unofficial start of summer . 1 Link to comment
Seraphim Posted May 18 Author Share Posted May 18 Sooooooo glad my husband is home .❤️❤️❤️❤️ 3 Link to comment
Seraphim Posted May 19 Author Share Posted May 19 My mom to me tonight: you don’t hear as well as you used to you know. me: it couldn’t be that I’m listening to the TV and have my phone on on YouTube at the same time now could it?! her : no that’s not it. You just don’t hear that well. You better do that hearing test like your doctor wanted you to. me: I hear fine. He wants me to have the hearing test because of the tinnitus nobody is saying I have any problems hearing. 😵💫😵💫😵💫🙄🙄FM. She is in her own room tonight !!!! Yay!!!! Link to comment
Seraphim Posted May 19 Author Share Posted May 19 A life lived in service is not a sacrifice but an honour~~~ Queen Elizabeth II 1 Link to comment
Seraphim Posted May 19 Author Share Posted May 19 Today is a bit better. I had a lot more sleep . Just my mom being in her own room is a lot of pressure off. I could actually get some real sleep. In a few days the proper sleep should feel great. 1 1 Link to comment
Batya33 Posted May 19 Share Posted May 19 36 minutes ago, Seraphim said: Today is a bit better. I had a lot more sleep . Just my mom being in her own room is a lot of pressure off. I could actually get some real sleep. In a few days the proper sleep should feel great. Wonderful news! Sleep is heaven after going through what you did. 1 Link to comment
Seraphim Posted May 20 Author Share Posted May 20 22 hours ago, Batya33 said: Wonderful news! Sleep is heaven after going through what you did. That is for sure . I had a great sleep last night and we got the AC fixed. It was a simple fix, the furnace needed to be reset . It was 81 F in the house . Ridiculous hot for Canadians . We were all pouring sweat and my mom’s asthma was crazy and my allergies were so bad. My sinuses under my eyes had swelled so much the fluid was coming out my eyes. My eyes were pouring water all day. That is gone now . My cats feel much better . We all do. 1 Link to comment
Seraphim Posted May 22 Author Share Posted May 22 39 years ago today I graduated high school. 😵💫 Link to comment
Batya33 Posted May 22 Share Posted May 22 5 hours ago, Seraphim said: 39 years ago today I graduated high school. 😵💫 40 for me! 1 Link to comment
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