somechick99 Posted February 15, 2018 Share Posted February 15, 2018 I went out with a guy I met on a dating app, he wined and dined me and did little sweet things for me. We don't necessarily have tons in common but we did get along well. He told me off the bat he wasn't looking for just a hookup, and neither was I necessarily, but I don't go into relationships expecting a specific result. I let them flow as they may. We did not have a declared or exclusive relationship as we had only seen each other for maybe six weeks total. Anyways, despite claiming he did not just want a hookup, he did several things our first couple weeks hanging out that caused me to put him in the "would not date" category, and could be taken as implications he did not want anything serious. Overall I think they were just clueless and mildly sexist actions. These things are: 1. Told me a story (out of the blue, NOTHING we were discussing warranted mentioning this) about how he once met a hot girl at a night club (he even went as far as to say she had a nice butt) but got a weird vibe about her. After their one-night stand, he snooped through her phone due to the weird vibe and found out that she was a prostitute. He confessed what he had saw and she admitted to it, and then he added that they "are still friends to this day." I personally found so many red flags in this story...aside from it being rude to describe some chick's butt he hooked up with on our date, he felt entitled to snooping through a one-night stand's phone?? What on earth? Plus he's now shared he hooked up with a hooker lol hope he wore protection 2. I was talking about how in NYC, promoters are paid to bring hot girls into night clubs, whereas in Vegas although it often works the same way, it is not quite as common unless you know someone affiliated with the club. He then said "Oh, there is more competition in Vegas I guess." Um, what? Maybe he misworded things, but the thought that other women are "competition" has sexist implications and does not sit right with me 3. EVERY time we were watching a TV show and a cute actress came on, he would announce that she is cute. This isn't necessarily a big deal, but it definitely does not scream that he wants something serious. It's also a bit strange to announce each time, as if he's insecure and feels the need to bring up other hot women constantly to compensate Anyways, after hooking up for a bit I slowly started fading him out because I met someone who did not act in these odd manners who I click with more. Today he messaged me saying that he enjoyed our time together and it was clear that I am not ready for a serious relationship which is what he is wanting, but he wishes me the best. I replied by saying I wished him the best as well and did not elaborate, but part of me wants him to know exactly why I did not take him seriously. Looking back, these behaviors should have been red flags from the get go and I should have not hooked up with him again as soon as I heard the story about the prostitute lol. I should have called out these bizarre behaviors as they happened but did not. And now, he is going to think that I passed up a chance for a serious relationship because "I'm not ready" when in reality a lot of it had to do with him. Is it worth telling him at this point (kindly of course, but just so he can potentially learn) that his behavior led me to believe otherwise? Or should I just let it go as he likely won't gain anything from me telling him this? Thanks in advance Link to comment
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.