Would you date a vegan?

[Giblesp]

I don't actually identify as vegan because that's an ethical stance and it has all sorts of connotations. However, I do eat "vegan" diet. Specifically it's a starch-based (potatoes, corn, brown rice, beans etc) diet with some fruits and vegetables. This is the diet recommended by Dr. John McDougall in "The Starch Solution." I don't eat any animal products or oil. I do this purely for health reasons and it has improved my health and fitness considerably. But it can be a challenge in social situations.

 

Anyway, I'm single, trying to get back in the dating game. As you may imagine my diet can be tough in social situations. I may make a rare exception on special occasions but I really try not to as that can trigger cravings and derail me.

 

So, my question is: would you date someone with such a narrow diet? I don't necessarily want to go on "vegan" dating sites (if they exist) because like I say I don't identify as vegan. Although I think my diet is also kind I don't feel any sort of moral superiority to meat eaters and I'm not interested in dating someone who does. I just eat the way I do to be healthy, but I worry it could limit my dating prospects.

 

 

I respect the decision that vegan women take to be kind to animals. Compassion is a very attractive quality. I also respect their discipline and integrity, people who choose not to eat meat usually get judged for some reason. I've found vegan women to be slim with good skin, and age very well. I have dated vegan women and certainly would again.

 

But maybe the question you should be asking is, would you date someone who didn't respect your beliefs and outlook?

[Batya33]

I would as long as the person kept his opinions to himself and wasn't too neurotic or obsessive about food or food choices (I can tend in that direction so it's not great for me to be exposed to it). I eat some meat/poultry and eat eggs and dairy -by no means a vegan/vegetarian but I'm happy to go to a vegetarian restaurant.

 

I'll give you an example of what would be a turn off. I had a friend who was vegetarian (because of animal rights). She went on a first meet to an expensive restaurant with a guy who'd invited her out for drinks (and maybe appetizers). She said she kept looking at the full menu and commenting on what dishes she could and couldn't eat depending on her vegetarian restrictions. He ended up ordering no food so I guess she was trying to hint to him what she could eat. That's the kind of thing that to me is over the top - on a first meet the person doesn't have to accommodate your restrictions - and you don't have to meet for food in the first place.

 

I actually didn't know until maybe 10 years ago that it could bother an animal rights vegetarian to have me order something with meat. So after that, I asked. Usually the answer was that it was fine. If it wasn't I'd be fine not ordering meat, etc.

[AtitAgain]

I actually didn't know until maybe 10 years ago that it could bother an animal rights vegetarian to have me order something with meat. So after that, I asked. Usually the answer was that it was fine. If it wasn't I'd be fine not ordering meat, etc.

 

If I knew that ordering meat would bother a vegetarian/vegan, I would make sure to order the whole zoo - just because I am a donkeyhole like that... but yeah... commercial farming operations, if more people knew how they do things, I think more people would stop eating meat out of compassion alone.

[glitterfingers]

Haven't really read much on this thread other than the OP, but will say this: I follow a similar diet to you Krankor. Mostly vegan but occasionally eat dairy or fish if I'm struggling to get my nutritional intake or if there is a lack of available options (e.g. out to dinner with my family and the only vegan food is rice)

 

My current boyfriend is kind enough not to eat/mention meat around me because he knows I feel a bit sick about it, particularly with raw meat. However another guy I dated at one stage made a point of exclaiming regularly how much he loved meat - that was a major turn off to me because I found it so disrespectful. I'm not sure if he did it because he was trying to set a standard (If you date me, expect to see a lot of meat) or trying to get me to change (Don't act as if you don't love meat too), but I'd never date someone who didn't show at least a little respect for my eating preferences. I also am a slightly picky eater outside of the plant-based requirements. I've had issues with food most of my life

 

So I think the real question here is this: Would you date a non-vegan/vegetarian? And if so, what would you require of them with regards to respecting your food preferences?

 

FWIW, since I have some flexibility, I would probably not date a die-hard vegan who is pushy with their beliefs and spends half their free time rallying for animal rights. Just not my cup of tea, that's a whole other scene I don't have the time/interest to dive into at this stage in my life

 

The key with veganism/vegetarianism in dating is mutual respect

[Krankor]

Haven't really read much on this thread other than the OP, but will say this: I follow a similar diet to you Krankor. Mostly vegan but occasionally eat dairy or fish if I'm struggling to get my nutritional intake or if there is a lack of available options (e.g. out to dinner with my family and the only vegan food is rice)

 

My current boyfriend is kind enough not to eat/mention meat around me because he knows I feel a bit sick about it, particularly with raw meat. However another guy I dated at one stage made a point of exclaiming regularly how much he loved meat - that was a major turn off to me because I found it so disrespectful. I'm not sure if he did it because he was trying to set a standard (If you date me, expect to see a lot of meat) or trying to get me to change (Don't act as if you don't love meat too), but I'd never date someone who didn't show at least a little respect for my eating preferences. I also am a slightly picky eater outside of the plant-based requirements. I've had issues with food most of my life

 

So I think the real question here is this: Would you date a non-vegan/vegetarian? And if so, what would you require of them with regards to respecting your food preferences?

 

FWIW, since I have some flexibility, I would probably not date a die-hard vegan who is pushy with their beliefs and spends half their free time rallying for animal rights. Just not my cup of tea, that's a whole other scene I don't have the time/interest to dive into at this stage in my life

 

The key with veganism/vegetarianism in dating is mutual respect

To answer your question; yes, I would date an omnivore.

 

Ideally, I would find another adherent to the McDougall program, or at least someone who follows "The Engine 2" diet or something like that, but that seems unlikely. Otherwise, as DancingFool recommends it would probably be wise to at least find someone who isn't a huge steak or BBQ ribs aficionado.

 

I'm actually not sure that I would do well with a hardcore, ethical vegan, unless she understands and respects that I may make an exception on Thanksgiving and that per my work policy I have to wear leather boots.

[boltnrun]

I can't say I'd go out of my way to rub in how much I like meat (and really, with my health issues I can only eat a steak, for example, once or twice a month, otherwise it's fish and chicken), but I wouldn't go out of my way to NOT order it either. I don't like a lot of the commercial farming methods, but I do wonder how "humane" the caveman's methods were. Of course, waste makes me angry (hunting solely for ivory or fur makes me furious) and the caveman apparently did not waste. Neither do Native Americans, from my understanding.

 

Today I had a delicious vegan meal (portabello mushroom sandwich with hot peppers and "mayo" made from some type of vegetable, plus cauliflower "rice"...super yummy!). I didn't eat vegan by choice, that's just how the meal was cooked. This very same cafe also serves burgers. I'll try one of those someday too.

 

My brother crams his kids full of meat (meals are usually a giant slab of meat accompanied by canned green beans , or a tortilla). During our childhood meat was hard to afford and was therefore made very important and valuable, and he took that lesson to our adulthood. I have been guilty of lecturing him about what he's doing to his kids' colons, but he just can't shake the "meat is expensive and therefore good" mentality. Sigh.

 

Topic? I'd date a vegan if and only if he did not subject me to lectures or scold me for my eating habits. But I'd toss anyone to the curb who did that, vegan or no vegan.

[nambia123]

no, unfortunately it would just be too much of a conflict of lifestyle.. I like to go to various restaurants and trying to satisfy a vegan is just too much work and way too much of a compromise because many places just don't have too much choice for them. Now pass me my sirloin!!!!

[thealchemist]

I can't say I'd go out of my way to rub in how much I like meat (and really, with my health issues I can only eat a steak, for example, once or twice a month, otherwise it's fish and chicken), but I wouldn't go out of my way to NOT order it either. I don't like a lot of the commercial farming methods, but I do wonder how "humane" the caveman's methods were. Of course, waste makes me angry (hunting solely for ivory or fur makes me furious) and the caveman apparently did not waste. Neither do Native Americans, from my understanding.

 

Today I had a delicious vegan meal (portabello mushroom sandwich with hot peppers and "mayo" made from some type of vegetable, plus cauliflower "rice"...super yummy!). I didn't eat vegan by choice, that's just how the meal was cooked. This very same cafe also serves burgers. I'll try one of those someday too.

 

My brother crams his kids full of meat (meals are usually a giant slab of meat accompanied by canned green beans , or a tortilla). During our childhood meat was hard to afford and was therefore made very important and valuable, and he took that lesson to our adulthood. I have been guilty of lecturing him about what he's doing to his kids' colons, but he just can't shake the "meat is expensive and therefore good" mentality. Sigh.

 

Topic? I'd date a vegan if and only if he did not subject me to lectures or scold me for my eating habits. But I'd toss anyone to the curb who did that, vegan or no vegan.

Pre horticultural revolution humans had two main ways to get meat from larger mammals.

 

The first was to chase herds off cliffs. They would just have a planned route and when a herd came through they chase them with torches and making a lot of noise. Entire herds fell off the cliff and then the band would go and collect nearly everything of value off the bodies. It was still fairly wasteful.

 

The other way was to use our extremely advanced cooling to out perform other mammals. That involved chasing the animal at the awkward speed between their walk and sprint. For us we just jog but large animals to overheated at that speed and we would just wait until they collapsed from a heat stroke then go up and kill them off.

 

Whereas today I put a .30-06 through a deer's skull and it hits the ground dead a half a second later. Hides get sold to tanner, bones go to mill for bonemeal, every bit of usable meat I process and family or friends eat, non usable meat gets cooked and given to my dogs, the last very small bit goes in the ground where I grow trees for firewood. Not near as much waste.

 

I do hate trophy hunters though.

[TheRawTruth]

I know a girl who's vegan and says it INSTANTLY makes a guy more attractive if he's one. She's taken but still. I'm sure she's not the only one.

 

What's the thing with not wanting to identify as vegan though? What's the big deal? Especially the vegan dating site thing you mentioned. If you're one and SHE'S one, it'd be much easier for you both to find what you're looking for.

[empath]

I do not have a whole lot to add, other than moral support! I am a cis dating male and have been largely vegan for 22 years now. (Even though I had a Belarussian tell me last year that 'One CANNOT be vegan! One will die!', I somehow have managed to make it to 42 in reasonably good health...)

 

My general comments are that the women I have been involved with, or situations of quasi-involvement with, tend to be very positive about it. Even if they are not openly positive, they have been at worst curious. And this is from many cultures! You should take heart that (1) it is a trendy thing in many places now, even if vegans make up a small portion of the population; (2) women, to generalize, often are friendlier toward more plant-y diets,and may have even experimented with them themselves.

 

Of course, we tend to associate 'meat' with masculinity, so if one is concerned about seeming masculine, or scaring off dates by seeming extreme ('vegan' does connote to some a more principled perspective than 'vegetarian', so might scare some -- though this is waning), then one might not trumpet it on the first date. Personally, I prefer non-dining options for the first date, anyway! If you connect in some way, then introducing that you are vegan will be associated with a person she may like anyway.

 

I mean, I don't hide it -- it usually comes up quickly, even if it's not from a dating profile (where I might put 'vegetarian', partly because my travels have meant I'm not always as strict in recent years). And I am generally happy to discuss it. But if a person is newer to veganism or more anxious about it...

 

I will also say -- not sure where you're living, Krankor, that location is one of the important variables. Big city folk will be less frightened by veganism, whereas people not in a big urban area might still have an aversion to the idea (and the local culture might in fact involve a lot more meat-eating than what might be considered trendier big urban areas). One reason that, oddly enough, a frequent traveler from Astana, Kazakhstan, let's say (a traditionally heavy meat-eating country) might actually be hipper to the idea than a ranching community woman from the Western US who likes her meat...

 

Anyway, there are many variables, but the upshot is that I think, as always, trying to be 'you'/ authentic, and just generally being a kind person and decent date, will be much more important to most women than the diet. (I am kind of realizing now that your actual question is whether *we* would date a vegan, to which my answer is, perhaps obviously, yes, and that I find it a highly attractive quality!)

 

If you ever want support, feel free to contact me! (I would say 'advice', too, but I can't say if my advice is/ will be good -- one would probably be better asking the women I have had contact with!) Best of luck.

[tiredofvampires]

 

To answer your question, sure I'd date a vegan, as long as they kept their opinions to themselves, as I would too.

 

A vegan that keeps their opinions to themselves? Uh...that's like looking for a bird that doesn't chirp.

 

And frankly, if you are in a close, intimate relationship where you share not just meals together, but philosophies of life and personal credos, how would keeping opinions to oneself fall in line with that? Keeping opinions to oneself about serious lifestyle and worldview issues is reserved for acquaintances you don't want to offend, not significant others. It's just not something to shut up about.

 

I run in circles with a lot of health-conscious people, and have met many a vegan. Some introduce themselves (especially on dating sites as "not the pushy type"). And yet, time and again, it ends up in an ideological debate at best, war at worst, generally with them being on the offensive and me feeling I have to defend my choices as a healthy omnivore (I do eat animal products from clean and ethnically-sourced companies as much as possible). But I have yet to meet a vegan who is not essentially following a way of life and doctrine that approaches or mirrors dogmatic religion: "those who don't subscribe are wrong and need to see the error of their ways". They typically are impervious to other points of view, and base their arguments, particularly about health, on very questionable science and gurus of the movement (of course, the don't see it that way, but they use their own health and the health of other vegans as scientific proof of their theories, and that's not scientific.)

 

I have told many a vegan that I love animals, but need them for nourishment and feeling my best; and they respond with, I clearly love myself more than animals, and how much can I "love animals" if I am willing to see them slaughtered? They also argue that no slaughter is humane, and the point is well-taken if you believe nothing should ever kill anything else as an absolute, for survival; but that's not how this planet has operated since the dawn on life on earth.

 

So that's the long version of answering your question with a resounding "no". I share the value of high ethics, and reverence for all beings, but I am not an absolutist (about God, food, or any spiritually-inspired moral platform) and so, couldn't date one. I bless their intentions, but abhor much of the diatribe that goes along with it and I could not live with that. Maybe some couples make it work, but it's really hard. Google, "dating a non-vegan" from the vegan's perspective, and you will see how much unhappiness they suffer from being incompatible with partners this way. I've seen rare exceptions, but those vegans tend to be less militant about the ethics and are doing it more for health reasons, like you.

 

In your case, since you are already eating like a vegan, it may not be as contentious because the upshot is that you are not doing things with your diet that they disagree with. It also depends on how hardcore the vegan is about other aspects of their lifestyle...like do you wear clothing that has animal byproducts in it, or eat food derived from animals that are more like condiments, such as honey? If you are dating someone who thinks of you as vegan in action, but not spirit, and that's okay with them, that could work out. If they need you to be doing it for certain reasons to feel compatible with you and approve of you day in and day out ideologically, that would probably end up badly.

[Giblesp]

I know a girl who's vegan and says it INSTANTLY makes a guy more attractive if he's one. She's taken but still. I'm sure she's not the only one.

 

What's the thing with not wanting to identify as vegan though? What's the big deal? Especially the vegan dating site thing you mentioned. If you're one and SHE'S one, it'd be much easier for you both to find what you're looking for.

 

Yeah, I'm vegan in diet and get that from vegan woman also. I also do martial arts frequently and have done so for many years which usually gets me some attraction points.

 

I prefer to lead by example when it comes to my choice of diet. If someone is interested in cutting down or giving up meat but are concerned concerned that they will lose strength, they are welcome to come train with me. You shouldn't shove your diet choice down someone elses throat though, be it vegan or meat. So I'm not going to whip out a video of a slaughter house to my meat eating date, that would be as retarded as a meat eater whipping out a video of a slaughter house to his/her vegan date.

 

Its easier to date someone who shares the same viewpoint on animals and food, but there are always exceptions. If chemistry is very strong between the two people, it probably wont matter.

[Giblesp]

A vegan that keeps their opinions to themselves? Uh...that's like looking for a bird that doesn't chirp.

 

Your generalization is mistaken. My two best friends are meat eaters, I respect them and they respect me. That's why we are friends.

 

If I met you, I wouldn't bother say anything about my choice of diet, I'd be more interested to know whether you were a nice person or not. Unless you asked me about my diet and training, I probably wouldn't say too much. Some people identify with 'vegan,' or 'meat eater.' I'm more interested in good people. I've met as many ahole vegans as I have meat eaters.

[tiredofvampires]

Your generalization is mistaken. My two best friends are meat eaters, I respect them and they respect me. That's why we are friends.

 

If I met you, I wouldn't bother say anything about my choice of diet, I'd be more interested to know whether you were a nice person or not. Unless you asked me about my diet and training, I probably wouldn't say too much. Some people identify with 'vegan,' or 'meat eater.' I'm more interested in good people. I've met as many ahole vegans as I have meat eaters.

 

May I ask, for what reasons you choose veganism?

[Krankor]

I know a girl who's vegan and says it INSTANTLY makes a guy more attractive if he's one. She's taken but still. I'm sure she's not the only one.

 

What's the thing with not wanting to identify as vegan though? What's the big deal? Especially the vegan dating site thing you mentioned. If you're one and SHE'S one, it'd be much easier for you both to find what you're looking for.

 

The reason why I don't identify as a vegan is because I don't meet the definition. My diet does, but veganism also entails never wearing leather, making sure that any personal hygiene items you use are "cruelty-free" etc. Like I said, it's just a health thing for me. I sometimes say "vegan" though just because it's easier than "Whole foods, starch-based, all plant, no oil diet." I just imagine that any woman who got on a vegan dating site would be pretty hardcore about it. Like I said, I do still wear some leather (I have to for work) and I'll make rare exceptions on special occasions. Example, I'll likely pretty much throw my diet out the window for the day on Thanksgiving and Christmas, and that would likely create conflict if she was really looking for someone with her same ethics.

[boltnrun]

So it's more that you feel healthy following this diet and not that your personal beliefs influence your diet. Got it.

 

I eat mostly chicken, fish and vegetables because I have health issues. I would eat more red meat if I could, but red meat really messes with me. I am also lactose intolerant, allergic to peanuts and other nuts, allergic to chocolate and have to severely limit my sugar intake. I am probably way more high maintenance regarding diet than any vegan! But life goes on.

[Jibralta]

And frankly, if you are in a close, intimate relationship where you share not just meals together, but philosophies of life and personal credos, how would keeping opinions to oneself fall in line with that? Keeping opinions to oneself about serious lifestyle and worldview issues is reserved for acquaintances you don't want to offend, not significant others. It's just not something to shut up about.

 

I agree with this. But I'll add that if you're a person who doesn't want to hear differing opinions, then your problem isn't actually with veganism.

[Batya33]

I agree with this. But I'll add that if you're a person who doesn't want to hear differing opinions, then your problem isn't actually with veganism.

 

For me it would depend on how/when the opinions were expressed.

[Jibralta]

Yes, that does make a difference. But this doesn’t have anything to do with veganism, either.

[NorthDallas40]

I'm vegan so I would definitely date one.

 

That said, I've dated several women who weren't even vegetarian, and we got along fine until other non-diet related issues cropped up.

 

It all depends on both parties. The meateater needs to see the very valid issues the vegan brings up and not be judgy about it, and the vegan needs to accept that the meateater may not ever change and not be judgy about it either.

[DancingFool]

The reason why I don't identify as a vegan is because I don't meet the definition. My diet does, but veganism also entails never wearing leather, making sure that any personal hygiene items you use are "cruelty-free" etc. Like I said, it's just a health thing for me. I sometimes say "vegan" though just because it's easier than "Whole foods, starch-based, all plant, no oil diet." I just imagine that any woman who got on a vegan dating site would be pretty hardcore about it. Like I said, I do still wear some leather (I have to for work) and I'll make rare exceptions on special occasions. Example, I'll likely pretty much throw my diet out the window for the day on Thanksgiving and Christmas, and that would likely create conflict if she was really looking for someone with her same ethics.

 

....I think you need to open your mind a little bit that vegan doesn't necessarily entail all that you describe. There are all shades and levels of vegan, many who simply follow the diet without the politics added in. It's not really all that black and white. If someone is militant about it....I mean that comes up pretty fast. You don't even need to go so far as taking her out on a date before you know that won't work for you. Plenty of people like yourself eat what they eat because it makes them feel better. Essentially for pragmatic reasons. Don't pre-judge, judge on a case by case basis instead. Your pool of option is way bigger than you think.

[Unreasonable]

Would you date a vegan?.

As long as they weren't annoying AF at restaurants, sure.

[Giblesp]

May I ask, for what reasons you choose veganism?

 

Looking at Krankos commenst I must also say that I'm not a 100% vegan, as I still wear leather shoes. So its only my diet that's vegan.

 

I chose the diet for ethics and health basically. I'm not going to go into the ethical side, there's enough information online if someone wishes to look into it. (And that's the only answer I feel a vegan should give on this topic.)

I tried it at first to make sure it was a glove that would fit, and had the fortune of being with someone at the time who was very clued up as to how to get the diet right.

 

There was a notable improvement in my performance in training, with increased recovery times. So I stuck with it.

[PICCOLLO]

Am dating a vegan ATM.

 

She's not preachy in the slightest and respects my food choices. If you have a similar attitude, you should have no problem.

[shellyf62]

My Daughter is marrying a vegan next year. He is also straight edge, so no alcohol either.

She isnt a huge meat eater, but does like chicken & fish. She also drinks esp when out on work dinners.

 

They seem to have things worked out. He isnt preachy which is awesome, but he does follow the lifestyle and spends hours looking for clothes & shoes that are vegan friendly.

Also he currently works in a disabled mens group home, so has to feed them meat.

It can be a bit of a pain to cook his food seperately at family dinners, but she loves him, and he will be an official part of the family very soon.

 

My answer is no though, as I like chicken & prawns way too much to be preached to about them lol