lexca Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 I posted a week or two ago about a guy that I'm attracted to...I finally asked him to hang out, explained that I was new and had no friends here...we exchanged numbers, texted all night that night, and made plans to hang out the next evening. It was a casual hang out, but he seemed eager and excited about it. We went to an outdoor battle of the bands thing and talked a lot, found out we had a lot in common....and he mentioned that he had a girlfriend. I was kind of taken aback, but I rolled with it. I didn't specifically ask him on a date, anyway. He also mentioned a bit later that someone had asked his girlfriend out and he told her to go if she wanted to. (It's also worth mentioning that he's younger than I thought initially and is in his early 20's). He walked me to my car, we hugged, and awhile later he texted me telling me he had a really good time and we should hang out again sometime. We then texted, again, until past midnight. We're working on plans to hang out again, but I have no idea what to do with this....I'm totally okay with it if we become friends and nothing more. I'm prepared for that. I don't want to be the girl who gets in the way of a relationship. So...am I doing something wrong here? What is going on in this dude's head? Link to comment
boltnrun Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 Think about how you'd feel if you had a boyfriend who was "hanging out" with another woman, going to events with her and texting her until past midnight. Would you be OK with that? If not...stop the "hanging out" and find a single guy to "hang out" with. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 Think about how you'd feel if you had a boyfriend who was "hanging out" with another woman, going to events with her and texting her until past midnight. Would you be OK with that? If not...stop the "hanging out" and find a single guy to "hang out" with. I second this post. Nothing more needs to be added. Link to comment
Sportster2005 Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 I second this post. Nothing more needs to be added. Me three. It just seems wrong. Link to comment
Patrick974 Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 Me three. It just seems wrong. Fourthed. At least he admit to having a gf tho. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 Me five... If you have the time to cheat (potentially) you have the time to think about it. Therefore, THINK! Link to comment
Heavy Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 Don't even go there. I have been on the receiving end of what happens when your partner is talking, texting and hanging with another person. It does not end well. Link to comment
FlashEng1 Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 6th'ed??? . The ONLY time I'd ever be okay with my girlfriend hanging out with another guy, is if they've already been friends prior to me.. Link to comment
Rosti87 Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 I 7th it.... run for the hills... Link to comment
Hollyj Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 Me eight. I do not believe the bit about him being OK with his gf going out with another. He sounds shady. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 Me 9th. Leave this dude alone. Link to comment
thejigsup Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 If they have an open relationship, which it sounds like they do, it might be okay if you are sure you don't want more. If he is spouting bs about the relationship being open, don't go there. You will end up hurting someone and I'm not talking about you. Link to comment
ParisPaulette Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 He's looking for a hookup and letting you know now he has a girlfriend. That way later on after you get attached and start angling for more he'll be able to say, "But hey, I told you I have a girlfriend..." Yeah, been there, didn't do that. You need to dial back the contact, tell him it feels wrong since he's got a girlfriend and you're looking for someone who isn't attached in any way, shape or form. Otherwise yep, he's all excited 'cause he's like, "Dude, I am the man. I'm gonna be able to have sex with two women!" I'd also be reallly skeptical whether the girlfriend was out with friends, I'm guessing he told her he was working late or had some other excuse. He certainly didn't say, "I'm going to a concert with this cool chick from work I've been flirting with." You need to work on your BS meter. I can see his ringing from here and I don't even know this guy. But I do know players and how they think and act and yep, you are getting played big time. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 found out we had a lot in common....and he mentioned that he had a girlfriend. I was kind of taken aback, but I rolled with it. Ghaaad. While I join everyone else in raising how crappy this is for his GF, what about you? Didn't telling you about the GF while going out with you strike you as a pretty lousy thing for him to do to YOU? Skip that. You can't be so desperate to make friends that you'll pretzel yourself into have no standards. I'd smile and wave if your paths cross with the guy, but I'd move on to make better friends who know how to treat people. Link to comment
TMifune Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 How does his girlfriend feel about the two of you building a friendship, even if it's friends and nothing more? Second question is are you really being honest with yourself when you say you'd be fine with that situation or are you secretly hoping his relationship will fail and he'll come running to you? Link to comment
greta96 Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 Don't do to others what you wouldn't want done to you. You know he's not planning just a platonic friendship with you and that you're playing with fire. It's up to you, if cheating is up your alley and you are ok being with a cheater, go for it. If not, cut contact and find someone single. Link to comment
kamurj Posted October 24, 2015 Share Posted October 24, 2015 Multiple accounts are not allowed. Thread closed. Link to comment
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