H8Reality217 Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 To me dating and relationships, sex, having a boyfriend/girlfriend, is something that primarily young people do, as in teens and 20's, but yet why do people still continue to do it in their 30's, 40's and beyond? Okay I will admit, I feel that if a person missed out on young love in their life, they should just give up, because that ship sailed a long ass time ago, and people always say that its never too late, you have plenty of time, better late than never, it's not a race. It actually makes me bitter, resentful, angry and enraged, frustrated whenever people say that, because I will always be a late bloomer and I hate having to accept that, i have often felt for a while now that if I ever do get a girlfriend, I will never be able to get over the fact that I missed out on dating, relationships, and sex around the age most people experience that, its like I feel if I ever do get a girlfriend(although I doubt I ever will), I feel I will still be bitter and resentful with her because I will be bitter, resentful because of how long it took me to meet her, I will be like, why couldn't I meet you 5 or 10 years ago? Why couldn't I have you when I wanted to have you? Besides, aren't men past their sexual prime once they reach 30? Seriously, why did people even come up with the phrass that there is someone for everyone, who cares if there is billions of people in this world, I doubt literally everyone is capable of attracting a mate. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 Why do we continue to be human? Because we are human. Link to comment
H8Reality217 Posted June 21, 2015 Author Share Posted June 21, 2015 I can't help but feel very jealous, envious, bitter and resentful towards people who luckily got to experience dating, relationships, and sex in their late teens and early 20's Link to comment
annie24 Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 lol, what??? I've dated throughout my teens and 20s and still haven't met Mr. Right. I'm not going to give up and get 12 cats and start knitting them all booties! Dating, relationships, and sex are fun and enjoyable and part of being alive, which is why we do it, and keep doing it. You're not too old. Seriously. Keep at it. Link to comment
Jeffbobo Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 Haha! Funny. I'm 46 and I love sex. Actually I love intimacy and passion. You can have the sex. At this age, there is absolutely no desire for me to start a new family and in a lot of ways, dating, relationships and all that goes with it is so much easier without having to think about that. Men hit their prime by 30? I like to think I'm well seasoned. The beauty of it is that women hit their prime in their 40's. So fear not... It's a literally a smorgasbord out there. And women outnumber men, so the odds are in your favor. Link to comment
mhowe Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 I have been in relationships in my 20, 30s 40s and 50s.....and I would have to say...the 50s is the best! My bf is a year younger and our sex life is exceptional! Link to comment
H8Reality217 Posted June 21, 2015 Author Share Posted June 21, 2015 The pain of still being single at 27 is constantly depressing for me, I feel being single this damn long has gotten so damn far, that the depression and loneliness of going this long has made me so insecure of being unable or unwilling to take action to fix my issues with women Link to comment
Seraphim Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 Why do I stay in my marriage ? Because we love each other and don't want to be apart. Link to comment
mhowe Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 The pain of still being single at 27 is constantly depressing for me, I feel being single this damn long has gotten so damn far, that the depression and loneliness of going this long has made me so insecure of being unable or unwilling to take action to fix my issues with women Well, if you are unwilling to do anything to change, you will have this issue for the rest of your life. You are capable of change. Link to comment
John John Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 Men pass their prime at 30? I dunno..I just turned 31 and feel like I'm just getting started. Im much better between the sheets now than when I was 17 lol Link to comment
Jeffbobo Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 The pain of still being single at 27 is constantly depressing for me, I feel being single this damn long has gotten so damn far, that the depression and loneliness of going this long has made me so insecure of being unable or unwilling to take action to fix my issues with women Fix your issues with women? Not sure what that means. Fix issues with yourself, focus on you. Bottom line, value yourself and build value. Everyone wants to be with someone that has value. What is it that you bring to the table? Link to comment
melancholy123 Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 Wow you have some real issues and I think you'd benefit from some counselling to sort out your negative thoughts about women and relationships. If you dont think anyone over 30 should look for a mate or have sex, what do you think these millions of people should be doing? Sit at home and watch Jeopardy with a few cats on their laps? Your anger and bitterness are clouding your thinking. I've been married for a long time, have 2 grown kids, and have a happy and fulfilling life with my husband and friends. I play bass in a band, I travel, I enjoy life. So what if I am not 21 anymore? All of us will be dead a long time sooner or later so may as well enjoy life while we can. I feel sorry for you, you have a very jaded outlook. Link to comment
alli Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 My dad & stepmom didn't get together until their mid 30's & they've been together for over 20 years now! If everyone gave up after 30 I wouldn't have little brothers. Really, there's no reason not to continue dating & maybe finding a life partner at any age. I've heard of couples meeting & getting married in their 70's. I'm sure it is frustrating to want to have a girlfriend and not. I hope things get better for you! Maybe you can see a counselor to see if there are any issues you can work on for yourself to make yourself a happier person. Link to comment
Rosti87 Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 OP, Life is what you make it of it. You can live the next 50 odd years moping around and feeling sorry for yourself or you can get out there and grab the gusto. The choice is yours. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 The pain of still being single at 27 is constantly depressing for me, I feel being single this damn long has gotten so damn far, that the depression and loneliness of going this long has made me so insecure of being unable or unwilling to take action to fix my issues with women Your attitude is terrible, and probably the reason you're not dating. People sense all of your hostility. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 Your attitude is terrible, and probably the reason you're not dating. People sense all of your hostility. I agree with the above - people sense your anger, bitterness and hostility - NONE of which will endear you to people in general, nevermind give you dating potential. Like a lot of members have already suggested - seek professional counseling/therapy. As long as you don't help yourself, you're going nowhere. Link to comment
saluk Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 "Why do people..." Wow, check yourself before you wreck yourself dude. You are angry that other people are finding happiness because you have not? That is a death spiral. This negative attitude is going to make things continually get worse instead of better. You have to learn to focus on what you can do and how you can achieve your goals, not put others down who are able to achieve what they want out of life. You don't know their story or their struggle, you only know your own. What are you doing about your own struggle? 30 is not the finish line, so I don't know why you are drawing the line there. I've heard people who were 15 say "why can't I get a girlfriend, I'm such a loser". You're 27. Stop talking like a 15 year old. You aren't a loser - but you are actively preventing yourself from getting what you want, and the longer you do so, the harder it will be to get out of the hole. The difference between successful people and unsuccessful ones is that when they are blocked, the successful people think "there must be a way through, how can I find it" and the unsuccessful ones think "oh, there is a wall here. Guess this is as far as I can go". As long as you believe that wall is there you won't get anywhere. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 I have been in relationships in my 20, 30s 40s and 50s.....and I would have to say...the 50s is the best! My bf is a year younger and our sex life is exceptional! eewww mhowe you both have sex ..THAT'S SHOCKING hehe op seriously , the desires don't leave a person because they have reached 30/40/50 ..I am in my 40's and I am like a raging bull with a free pass into the vibrator factory ...(probably a bit too much information there ) We ( speaking on behalf of all oldies) don't lose the desire to find a mate , to find love , to get married , to share , to be as one with another person ..if anything it just gets better and better ....... because we know what we like and what we don't like . So let that maybe give you some hope that you really do have your whole life to experience things ..... Link to comment
Willywagtail Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 Ha! The arrogance of the young. If you think that people stop having sex, relationship or loving each other after 30, 40, 50 , 60 or even 70 ... then you are a complete idiot OP. It's a basic human need to connect emotionally, physically, sexually and intellectually with another, or others. Age does not diminish that desire, nor does handicap, race or disability. Given that the average life expectancy, in Western countries , is about 86 - that leaves a lot of time to experience life, love and sex. Link to comment
H8Reality217 Posted June 21, 2015 Author Share Posted June 21, 2015 Fix your issues with women? Not sure what that means. Fix issues with yourself, focus on you. Bottom line, value yourself and build value. Everyone wants to be with someone that has value. What is it that you bring to the table? Why should i fix my issues when in reality I will be behind most other people? I hate it whenever people say "who cares what other people are doing?" Ya well i care because if I can't be like them, why bother to continue? Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 Why should i fix my issues Well, you keep bitterly complaining about wanting what others have, but you fight like crazy NOT to do anything about it ...... and then you keep wondering WHY you don't get into relationships? Seriously, does that make ANY sense to you? For real?? So, what you have then, is this: DO nothing. Remain bitter and angry and complain non-stop about how miserable and depressed you are. If you continue to choose this path, then you cannot expect things to simply fall into your lap. Want what other have? Then make the appropriate changes. Link to comment
H8Reality217 Posted June 21, 2015 Author Share Posted June 21, 2015 Because I often feel it is too damn late for me to make these changes, feel it is something I'm supposed to know and have fixed by my late teens or early 20's, and the fact I can't change the past makes me unmotivated to do so. It also often pisses me off that no man has the divine right to have a woman in his life. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 Why should i fix my issues when in reality I will be behind most other people? I hate it whenever people say "who cares what other people are doing?" Ya well i care because if I can't be like them, why bother to continue? You havent read a word any of us have said ...you havent acknowledged us or our words ..yet you are getting it straight from the horses mouth so to speak ..from people who are between 30 and 60 , that yes life does carry on as hot blooded men and women , that NO ..men do not fall into the limp tin just because they have hit 30 ...30 is when men really start to get that "man" about them .. You have a choice .. you can choose to read the words of people trying to offer you hope and reassure you , or you can choose to just pick up on the bits that you want to vent your bitterness about ... your choice and it is clear you have made it . I understand despair ..we all do ..why are we here ? what the hell brought the rest of us through the doors of ena ..personally for me it was 3 days before christmas and I SERIOUSLY thought I would be in an institution by christmas day ... Allow yourself hope for the future ..allow yourself to be responsive to kindness and joy , open yourself up to the wonders of what the world has to offer . Make your choice darling ..you are the author of your own book . Link to comment
Rosti87 Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 Because I often feel it is too damn late for me to make these changes, feel it is something I'm supposed to know and have fixed by my late teens or early 20's, and the fact I can't change the past makes me unmotivated to do so. It also often pisses me off that no man has the divine right to have a woman in his life. No-one has the 'right' to anyone. They call that slavery. That is the essence of Mother Nature. People change as late as their 80's so your being 27 is still early in the game. This is defeatist behaviour and that mindset does not engender positive results. Link to comment
H8Reality217 Posted June 21, 2015 Author Share Posted June 21, 2015 Even when you say most men start to get that "Man" about them once they hit 30, the reality is most men have had a girlfriend before age 30, heck, most even before 25, the fact I failed at that makes me think why shouldn't I give up already? I didn't have one around the time most people. Link to comment
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