Did I do the right thing??

[Starshine100]

I'm a 20 year old female. A year ago, I was diagnosed with hormone imbalance so I was inserted a Mirena IUD to control my monthly periods. I started dating a guy a month ago from the same school. Things were going great. Before I went into the relationship, I explained to him the issue I have and he was okay with it (so it seemed) and we talked about having sex at a later stage in our relationship and we agreed. 

As we are on a holiday, we live far away from each other. We talked almost every day until recently... I was telling him how I miss him and stuff so we talk about how we wish to be together at that moment. He asks me to send a pic of my p***y. I thought it was a joke and all but wasn't. I told him this

"Yknow the internet is the most dangerous place to send such things. As much I respect you and your body, you need to respect my body." 

He hasn't texted me ever since and now I'm worried that I miscommunicated before we started dating. I just don't put my body out there. Am I being selfish? 

[Cherylyn]

You're not being selfish.  He's acting like a jerk.  Dump the chump.

[LootieTootie]

No, you did the right thing. You weren't comfortable sending anything online so you have nothing to feel bad about. When I was you age, I wished I had the same courage as you. I learned later in life to never let anyone make me second-guess who I am, which includes my stated boundaries. So, please, don't ever let anyone make you second-guess yourself. You are you and if the guy can't accept that, then he isn't the fight fit for you.

[DarkCh0c0]

23 minutes ago, Starshine100 said:

Yknow the internet is the most dangerous place to send such things. As much I respect you and your body, you need to respect my body." 

💪👏

You served him right! Nicely done.

Why would you want to hear back from a guy who clearly showed you his unappealing and disrespectful intention towards you?

[Starshine100]

5 minutes ago, LootieTootie said:

No, you did the right thing. You weren't comfortable sending anything online so you have nothing to feel bad about. When I was you age, I wished I had the same courage as you. I learned later in life to never let anyone make me second-guess who I am, which includes my stated boundaries. So, please, don't ever let anyone make you second-guess yourself. You are you and if the guy can't accept that, then he isn't the fight fit for you.

Thank you so much ❤️. I've had a hard time having a stable relationship or maybe I find the wrong people. I will continue to stand up for myself. 

[Cherylyn]

Just now, Starshine100 said:

I will continue to stand up for myself. 

No matter who it is,  always stand up for yourself.  You are your best protector.  Be tough. 

[Starshine100]

2 minutes ago, DarkCh0c0 said:

💪👏

You served him right! Nicely done.

Why would you want to hear back from a guy who clearly showed you his unappealing and disrespectful intention towards you?

You know right????? I need cheerleaders like you. Thank you 🙏

[Starshine100]

13 minutes ago, Cherylyn said:

You're not being selfish.  He's acting like a jerk.  Dump the chump.

Thank you dear. My issue is just too big for me. I'm living with it every day and I hoped he would understand but I guess he didn't.. 

[DarkCh0c0]

6 minutes ago, Starshine100 said:

You know right????? I need cheerleaders like you. Thank you 🙏

I'm happy to. You're brave! You communicated clearly your boundary. Nicely done!

And, I wouldn't be surprised if he tries to get in touch later "apologizing" once he feels lonely. As @Cherylynmentioned, you keep reinforcing your boundaries and standards and lose his number 📴📞 

9 minutes ago, Starshine100 said:

I've had a hard time having a stable relationship or maybe I find the wrong people

Honey, you don't find the wrong people. You're young! You're experimenting and figuring out human nature and learning about identifying red and green flags. We all go through that. Keep up the great work! 💪🩷

[Capricorn3]

You did the right thing.  You dodged a bullet and whatever you do, do NOT respond to him if he starts sending you sweet messages etc.  Block and be glad he's gone.  And never ever share nude pictures with anyone, because they will be shared and spread around the great big web.

[Starshine100]

6 hours ago, Capricorn3 said:

And never ever share nude pictures with anyone, because they will be shared and spread around the great big web.

Exactly. These mother***ers share these stuff. I don't want to ruin my reputation. 

[Cherylyn]

8 hours ago, Starshine100 said:

Thank you dear. My issue is just too big for me. I'm living with it every day and I hoped he would understand but I guess he didn't.. 

Those who lack empathy (narcissistic types),  never understand because they're incapable of it.  It's called "radical acceptance" in you which means there is no change in a person who is who they are.  There's nothing you can do about it except protect and safeguard your dignity first and foremost.  Make your stance ironclad. 💪

[smackie9]

I'm pretty sure he would have circulated those photos among his friends. All I can say is good for you..... and for him, good riddance.

[catfeeder]

On 6/8/2024 at 5:25 PM, Starshine100 said:

Am I being selfish? 

No, you're being smart. A guy who can't respect you is no loss to you.

Head high.

[ShySoul]

Your body, your choice. You should never do anything you aren't comfortable doing. And you are right, the internet is forever. There are far to many stories of private pictures that get out there and can never be taken back. Why would you give it to someone you barely know?

No decent man would be asking for that in the first place. And even if he did, he'd back off from it the second he realized you weren't happy and apologize. There are far better guys out there. He never deserved you in the first place.

[Jaunty]

On 6/8/2024 at 2:56 PM, Starshine100 said:

Thank you dear. My issue is just too big for me. I'm living with it every day and I hoped he would understand but I guess he didn't.. 

By your "issue" do you mean your hormone imbalance?   I'm sorry you're dealing with that but I don't know how it has anything to do with what he asked and your response?

Hormone imbalance or no, you are absolutely the ONLY one who should decide whether sending a picture like that to ANYONE under ANY circumstances is a good idea for YOU.

[TeeDee]

On 6/8/2024 at 5:25 PM, Starshine100 said:

He hasn't texted me ever since and now I'm worried that I miscommunicated before we started dating. I just don't put my body out there. Am I being selfish? 

You did not miscommunicate.  You were clear.  You have sensible boundaries.  It's not selfish at all 

IMO any guy who would even ask for such a thing is a jerk who only wants one thing.  

You are better off without him.  For your sake I hope you never hear from him again. 

[HeartGoesOn]

On 6/8/2024 at 5:25 PM, Starshine100 said:

I'm a 20 year old female. A year ago, I was diagnosed with hormone imbalance so I was inserted a Mirena IUD to control my monthly periods. I started dating a guy a month ago from the same school. Things were going great. Before I went into the relationship, I explained to him the issue I have and he was okay with it (so it seemed) and we talked about having sex at a later stage in our relationship and we agreed. 

As we are on a holiday, we live far away from each other. We talked almost every day until recently... I was telling him how I miss him and stuff so we talk about how we wish to be together at that moment. He asks me to send a pic of my p***y. I thought it was a joke and all but wasn't. I told him this

"Yknow the internet is the most dangerous place to send such things. As much I respect you and your body, you need to respect my body." 

He hasn't texted me ever since and now I'm worried that I miscommunicated before we started dating. I just don't put my body out there. Am I being selfish? 

No, you were being smart. He has no interest in dating you, yet he'd be happy to get in your pants. 

Raise the bar, and respect yourself.

[rainbowsandroses]

On 6/8/2024 at 2:25 PM, Starshine100 said:

I started dating a guy a month ago from the same school. Things were going great. Before I went into the relationship I explained to him the issue I have and he was okay with it (so it seemed) and we talked about having sex at a later stage in our relationship and we agreed. 

On 6/8/2024 at 2:25 PM, Starshine100 said:

He hasn't texted me ever since and now I'm worried that I miscommunicated before we started dating.

Hey Starshine, a bit confused about the timeline here^^.  The first quote suggests you're in a relationship, your second quote suggests you have not even begun dating yet.  Can you clarify?

In any event, I will be direct and ask, have you ever met this man in person?

If not, I will tell you what I used to do and still do whenever a man I never met, barely know or had sexual relations with asks me for such a picture.  Or sends ME a pic of his ****.

Straight to trash.  I don't question if I did anything wrong or what HE was thinking, the only place my mind goes is HE is low class *** and it's straight to trash.   I don't respond and if HE ever messages again, all those messages go to trash as well.  If he begins to harass me, I block him.

It's unclear why you think your issue re your Mirena IUD has ANY relevance as to why he was an a$$hole asking you for a picture of your p*ssy? 

Unless I am missing some context, one thing has nothing to do with the other.  Can you clarify why you believe the two are related?

All that said and to answer your question - YES!  You absolutely 100% did the right thing and the heck with whatever HE thinks about it.

His opinion should be of no value to you whatsoever.

JMO. 🙂