Coily Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 That "holiday" is upon us once again; one that I take affront to mostly because I am perpetually single and feel rather left out (as do many people). I guess the biggest "problem" I have with this is the whole no matter how many times through out the year a couple can show their love for each other; some how this is the only time that counts in the minds of interlopers. That said it would be fine by me to have a nice compulsory romantic date, just once. Am I alone in this distaste for a high pressure romantic "holiday." Link to comment
toby4 Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 i agree it's a bit distasteful for me, you shouldn't need a holiday to buy your SO gifts or flowers. Plus the prices of those things go up during this time of the year, I don't think there's necessarily anything wrong with the holiday itself. It is good to show your SO that you love them but it almost seems like it's required to do something special for them which takes out the thought/consideration for me, you expect them to show you love on this day so to me it's a bit less meaningful. Link to comment
hers Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 I refuse to celebrate it and my husband's friends all tell him how lucky he is. I think it's a BS holiday and can't believe how much stock people put into it. It's ridiculous. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 I love the image you posted. Made me laugh. I love Valentine's day. Even though I have been single for a lot of years now and no one to celebrate it with romantically for a while. I like the excuse to get sentimental, mushy, and naked. Call me crazy. Any excuse to do it while in a relationship is a good one. Plus, I've saved every card I've ever gotten (or love note) for V Day, even an "anti Valentine's Day" one where he outright wrote "this is my contribution to the biggest commercial holiday ever", along with a lot of lovely sappy stuff. Nothing wrong with that, made me smile. I'll be waving my V Day flag even though I'm single this year, again. It's not so bad. My friends will buy me chocolates. And I can spread some love around (non romantically). Doesn't change that I love the holiday. It's no different than any other holiday. It's a way for people to celebrate collectively, and for some people, to make or spend a lot of money. So...it's whatever you want to do with it. I know you are a secret Valentine's Day lover, Coily, so don't push it down, wear it with pride! haha. Link to comment
scared and alone Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 As a married woman, I hate this day. I dont count it as a holiday. Its dumb to me. Even when I was young and single, I never understood it. Its forced and commercialized and I cant stand it. Like 'oh okay. this is the one time of year that im supposed to be romantic and show you i love you so i guess i need to go all out'. no. Its not sincere, its forced. Give me a random tuesday in july. Not a forced day in February. Yawn. No thanks. Way to go, Hallmark and other greeting cards and chocolate makers, great job in forcing this dumb day down our throats and making people think it means something!! Not this girl! Link to comment
happyfrank Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 I think it's great day to celebrate not just for couples but for everybody. I remember in grade school and giving Vday cards for everybody. It's not about being romantic but just celebrating love in general. That's what I feel is the real meaning of this holiday. The perks for single people is that day brings a lot single mixers that they can attend and find another people that is looking for love too. Link to comment
happpybear Posted February 10, 2014 Share Posted February 10, 2014 Dear Coily, I choo-choo-choose you! Happy early Vday!!! Coily, I don't know you at all, but I think you are a big softie at heart and actually love Vday I concur that Vday is cheesy and unnecessary and just a way for companies to make us feel like we need to buy more stuff, and I always hate how flower shops mark up the price of roses like 400%. I always told my BF's never to buy me roses on Vday. As much as I want to hate Vday, I secretly love it! And even though I wouldn't mind never celebrating it ever again, I must admit I DO get a certain frisson when giving and receiving a Vday gift. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted February 11, 2014 Share Posted February 11, 2014 I refuse to celebrate it and my husband's friends all tell him how lucky he is. I think it's a BS holiday and can't believe how much stock people put into it. It's ridiculous. DITTO!!!!!!!!!!! lol. I can't believe the hype and how much people are into a day like this. It's just awful (the hype). ~puke~ I agree with scared & alone's post too. Link to comment
tiredofvampires Posted February 11, 2014 Share Posted February 11, 2014 You ladies who eschew V-day for it's BS-y-ness have my most fervent admiration! Because, as a matter of fact, as much as I agree with all the reasons to disparage it, it's not like if it's served up in my face I'll turn it away. Hahah. I'm kinda a hypocrite like that. In my defense though, I think there's a HUGE problem -- at least in my mind -- about making a point of not celebrating it: and that is, now we (as a couple) are taking a stand not to make this day special. Which means that one day out of the year that others have chosen to make extra special, we've chosen to be blah and demonstratively undemonstrative about. Which seems strangely to ironically defeat the whole purpose of the message that ANY day can be full of specialness and love. If any and every day can -- why NOT today? Who are we proving something to, really? The problem is not Valentine's Day. The problem is that everyone is doing it all at once. LOL. And with a billion cliches a second. But then without those trappings, it wouldn't be considered a "holiday" -- which is universally marked by bunches of people doing something with some amount of ritual. And where does this stop, too? We celebrate our independence in the U.S. on July 4. Thankfulness on November 25. Why should we not celebrate freedom and blessings every day? And if we do, does that mean we should lose the fireworks on the 4th and the turkey or tofurky on the 25th? So for me...it's really just hard to escape, it's like trying not to think of a pink elephant, and why would I actually want to do that? If I have a partner, we can figure out however we want to spend that day and make it our own. We don't have to eat chocolates, go to a fancy restaurant, and exchange gifts with red and white trimmings -- we can make a fruit salad and go out somewhere with a panoramic view of the city, crank up the radio, and air-drum together. It's whatever we want it to be, but does that mean having to opt out? And funny, about roses. You can't possibly get more cheesy and corny than getting roses. But there's something about the eye-rolling over that that ends once I get them from someone. I mean, it's still corny and I'm thinking that in the back of my mind -- but then I think, the poor, beautiful, innocent rose! It's a lovely product of nature with a delicate and exquisite scent -- how does it deserve my scorn? People have cultivated and trimmed it, wrapped it in cellophane and doilies...but it's still a beautiful thing, and something to put in my vase to watch bloom over the next couple of days in a corner of my house that's usually unadorned. So again...if you take the standardized association out of something and just enjoy it for what it IS, what's not to love and appreciate about it? Okay, the price is jacked up and it's highway robbery. But we don't do this every day, and the boycott doesn't change anything or enhance my day the way an elegant, guileless flower does. Sure, the whole thing comes laden and reeking with these tacky associations for me...but the right person wooing me plus the enjoyment of the treat of something sensual in front of me to behold more than makes up for all the things I find so annoying in my head. I've been single so long though that to me, it's just a day like any other. I would be lying to say that not having the opportunity to wonder how we will celebrate doesn't make me wistful...but in that sense, it's really more the presence of another, not the chocolates I'm missing. And that feeling doesn't need its own special day either. And I don't even really get into chocolate. I do remember sweet tarts from elementary school fondly. And the glitter cards to everyone. Honestly, my only true, pure aversion to this holiday are the teddy bears. It's like an army of generic plush love soldiers drafted and unloosed upon the public. I say "drafted" because I have a favorite teddy bear (for reals), with its own personality, and it weeps for its brethren (and sistren) so cheapened and with such characterless gaudy uniforms. Those scarlet-aproned bears've been had. You can just see how prostituted they feel. It's in their eyes. BLEGH. Link to comment
Rangafro Posted February 11, 2014 Share Posted February 11, 2014 I don't celebrate it. I don't boycott it so much as treat it like any other day of the year. Firstly because the date is completely arbitrary to me. I know why it is Feb 14, but it began as a religious tradition which has no bearing on my life, and I think many people who celebrate it will not recall why that date is significant. Secondly I think the original meaning has been completely warped to become a massive guilt trip on both singles and couples. I actually never cared about it when I was single, I liked the liberty more so than feeling sorry for myself. That is not the case for everyone though, and I do think there is a big problem in western culture that tries to sell the idea that you can't be happy without a relationship. That's a different topic though and I could go all day about that. However on Valentine's Day whilst in a couple you are assumed to not love your partner if you don't do anything to celebrate, but if people acted the same way on Feb 13 or Feb 15 nobody would blink an eye at it. The way I see it, given that Feb 14 is an arbitrary date to me, doing something just because of this cultural mandate automatically renders it meaningless in my view. A wedding anniversary makes more sense, for it is something special to you and actually marks an important milestone in your lives. It's a shame that someone people can't celebrate that though. Link to comment
Tanzi Posted February 11, 2014 Share Posted February 11, 2014 Valentines Day was supposed to be about sending a card anonymously to someone who had caught your eye and maybe your heart. Now it has been blown out of all proportion. I don't dislike Valentines Day but I dislike the hype behind it. One year I cooked a special meal for my now ex-bf and my daughters and we all sat down to a candlelit dinner together. Priceless! This year I am single but I will not let the hype bring me down. I will leave some little gifts on my daughters' pillows and an anonymous card as I have done in previous years because it has become "our" thing. My love for them surpasses any other love I will ever have. It is unconditional and it will truly be forever. I don't mind showing them that on Valentines Day. It is just a little reminder that no matter what is going on in their lives (my eldest daughter has had a rough time with her ex bf) that mummy is always here. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted February 11, 2014 Share Posted February 11, 2014 That's sweet, blue. I agree with you too. It's not just about romantic love. Link to comment
Hoagy Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 Flowers? Chocolate? Dinners at posh restaurants? That's what everyone else does. Therefore not special. If you really love each other you should sit at home watching the first four Rocky movies on DVD and eating Pringles in your underpants. Link to comment
hers Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 If you really love each other you should sit at home watching the first four Rocky movies on DVD and eating Pringles in your underpants. My husband and I have done this. Except it was Netflix and ice cream I our pajamas in bed. Link to comment
lavenderdove Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 I know just as many people made unhappy on this holiday as those who enjoy it! It is 'enforced' feeling, and so many people invest it with a magical meaning, as in, 'it is valentine's day and now you will prove your love,' then it falls far short of expectations and triggers fights and even breakups if the level of 'romance' is out of sync. I have a good friend who broke up with someone over Valentine's day... He was a divorced father with a young daughter, and just announced he was going to spend Valentine's day with 'his girl' (his daughter) and basically dropped a card on my friend's front porch and that was it! She dumped him because she saw it as a litmus test that the guy didn't get that his 'romance' was supposed to be with her and not his daughter! So lots of people hate it. And many man agonize over what it means and what do about it because they know they'll get whupped if they choose wrong or don't do something romantic enough that pleases their spouses/GFs. My own feeling is that romance should be woven into the every day fabric of people's lives, and not enforced on a special day that may cause more stress than happiness. btw, a funny story... I was dating a guy who showed up on Valentine's day having bought me a pair of expensive white satin pajamas, supposedly a 'romantic' gift. But they were in totally the wrong size! It started me thinking how he could be so off on that, and I did a little investigation and it turns out he was still hooking up with his ex-wife behind the scenes and had accidentally grabbed the wrong set of PJs and swapped them... needless to say he got dumped not too long after Valentine's day! Link to comment
Tanzi Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 btw, a funny story... I was dating a guy who showed up on Valentine's day having bought me a pair of expensive white satin pajamas, supposedly a 'romantic' gift. But they were in totally the wrong size! It started me thinking how he could be so off on that, and I did a little investigation and it turns out he was still hooking up with his ex-wife behind the scenes and had accidentally grabbed the wrong set of PJs and swapped them... needless to say he got dumped not too long after Valentine's day! So he'd even bought you both the same Valentine's Day present. What a charmer!! Link to comment
greywolf Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 I think Valentines day is really hyped up, but I don't see anything wrong with celebrating it either. It's never wrong to do something nice for your SO, IMO. There was one year where I went all out (well, all out for me anyway), and sent some chocolates and a cheesy letter, and included a barfbag for the sparklebarf, and my sister drew a picture on it of some person puking rainbows. hahahaha. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 My son already gave me two paper hearts he made at school "for you Mommy because you behaved". I see both sides of the issue having been single for many years and I don't think it makes sense to try to load all the romantic feelings into one day of course. Link to comment
Liraele Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 We don't celebrate it. I do stuff for the kiddos, but mostly just because it's a semi-legit opportunity for me to spoil them a little. I'd rather have the 24/7/365 knowledge that I'm loved than an over-the-top display one day of the year for a Hallmark holiday. Link to comment
sammi87 Posted February 12, 2014 Share Posted February 12, 2014 Who exactly is applying the pressure you speak of? Greeting card companies? So what? What do you care what commercials say? You say you feel left out because you are single... Well, I have a single friend who enjoys V-day more than anyone I know, lol! She decided a while back that the day was about LOVE. Didn't have to be romantic love. Therefore, she sends her besties the gaudiest valentine she can find, we send one back and then declare a winner for ugliest card! She bakes pink cupcakes and delivers them to a few elderly neighbors. She also goes to the Petco and buys her snoogywoogums a cheesy V-day toy Like life, this Holiday is what you make of it. Link to comment
petite Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 Whilst I do believe it is hyped up, a lot, I also am not bothered by it or those that like celebrating. These days everything is hyped up and if someone wants to make it a special day I don't care to rain of their parade. One of my friends posted on Facebook that she wants people to stop with all the Valentines Day talk, I see no issue with this if the person has always been against it. That said, if the person is being a Debbie Downer just because they are single...well... I don't care to rain on other peoples parade. If you want to go all out that's cool with me - and if you don't, still cool. My husband buys me flowers whether it is Valentines Day or not because he knows I like them, just like we go out on other days of the year. We usually get cards for one another and perhaps chocolate or dessert and in the past have either had dinner out or at home. I don't see that changing. It's nice to be with the person you love whether it is February 14th or April 14th. We do the same stuff on other days that we do on Valentines day. Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Link to comment
happpybear Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 I think Valentines day is really hyped up, but I don't see anything wrong with celebrating it either. It's never wrong to do something nice for your SO, IMO. There was one year where I went all out (well, all out for me anyway), and sent some chocolates and a cheesy letter, and included a barfbag for the sparklebarf, and my sister drew a picture on it of some person puking rainbows. hahahaha. LOVE this, ahahaha My son already gave me two paper hearts he made at school "for you Mommy because you behaved". I see both sides of the issue having been single for many years and I don't think it makes sense to try to load all the romantic feelings into one day of course. "Because you behaved" lmao--priceless Who exactly is applying the pressure you speak of? Greeting card companies? So what? What do you care what commercials say? You say you feel left out because you are single... Well, I have a single friend who enjoys V-day more than anyone I know, lol! She decided a while back that the day was about LOVE. Didn't have to be romantic love. Therefore, she sends her besties the gaudiest valentine she can find, we send one back and then declare a winner for ugliest card! She bakes pink cupcakes and delivers them to a few elderly neighbors. She also goes to the Petco and buys her snoogywoogums a cheesy V-day toy Like life, this Holiday is what you make of it. Agreed! Link to comment
toby4 Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 hmm re-reading this im sightly swayed... I think slightly better of vday from all you optimists haha maybe im just a bit cynical Link to comment
BellaDonna Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 To me Valentines Day is a convenient excuse to secure a babysitter and go out for a nice dinner. Earlier in our relationship, my husband and I made a bigger deal over it. We used to get gifts for one another. Now I admit it is a hassle for me to even remember to get a card on Valentines Day. (I am more like the stereotypical portrayal of a man who forgets to buy cards.) It's not so much that I think it is a bad holiday. If lovers want to express their love on that day, who am I to judge? I just think every day should be a Valentines Day. I much prefer spontaneity and every day acts of love rather than having to funnel it into a designated day. I'd rather have good moments on random days, that are not orchestrated or calculated. I guess I am not pro or anti, just neutral. Like I said, I'll take the excuse to have my little one go to grandma's house, so we can go out. LOL Link to comment
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