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Everything posted by greywolf

  1. A long distance relationship is not always doomed, but there must be an end in sight. You two need to come up with a plan to be together again. The plan doesn't have to be set in stone, but there does need to be a plan.
  2. I disagree. He was playing games with her and it backfired. However, OP, that doesn't mean that you can't feel terrible about what happened. I do think you need to see a therapist to get over this. After 4 years, I don't think you can move past this on your own. Seeing a therapist would be the best for you, I think. Does your girlfriend know how you feel? I also find it concerning that you can talk about your girlfriend being "pounded," like she's just some sex object. Please see a therapist, OP.
  3. As others have said, I wouldn't call that a lie, though it doesn't make it right.
  4. If someone is that busy that they don't even have time to see their girlfriend/boyfriend, then frankly, I don't think they have time for a relationship. People have priorities, and when their relationship is a priority, they make time for it. If he's so busy that he can't maintain a relationship, then he needs to be single until he has time for a relationship.
  5. IMO, people just dont disappear for no reason. In your previous thread you said that he just stopped contacting you for 4 days without saying a word about it. People don't do that just because they need space. I have a feeling he is not being honest about something.
  6. Agree with this. Your hatred and anger is directed towards the wrong person. Cheating is a terrible thing to do, but I won't say that all cheaters are horrible, terrible people. I don't think there is a "cheater profile" either. I don't think you become a cheater like it's a personality trait. Sure, there are some people who are constant cheaters, but for the most part, I think it happens when people are really unhappy in their relationships. We don't know the situation between your mom and your dad. Most likely their marriage has been so unhappy that your dad has been looking for an e
  7. If Facebook is getting you this upset, then you need a break from it for awhile. Think about what a "like" is. It's a click of the mouse that takes less than a second to do. In other words, it's meaningless. It's also the shallowest way to be friends with someone --- hey, I haven't talked to this person in 3 years but I liked her status recently, so we're still friends, right? Right?? Do you see how this is a very poor measurement of friendship?
  8. You say you don't want to lose her, but lose what? 5 minutes a week with someone? You're living in fantasy, my friend. The reality is that you know nothing about this woman, her motives, her relationship with her current girlfriend, or why she keeps you dangling. I suggest cutting all contact if possible and moving on.
  9. What sort of internship? I would be very wary of dating someone at work in case things go south.
  10. Hey Cynder, I don't think contacting your ex is a good idea at this point. I think it'll just put you back in the healing process. I don't think it's wrong to be friends with an ex, but I do think you need more time to heal before you reach out to him. 2 months is not that long. As for quitting festivals, do you enjoy it? Did you ever enjoy it? You said you enjoyed it more when your ex was with you; how about bringing a friend that enjoys festivals instead?
  11. Break-ups are always difficult, and I imagine divorces are much much worse. You have to give yourself time to grieve and forgive yourself for the time it takes to get over it. It's already hard enough to get over a divorce without you berating yourself over it as well. Spend more time with your children, go out with your friends, continue to do things that you enjoy doing. Give yourself a time frame. For example, you could give yourself a month to be somewhat of a wreck, but after that you'll get up and move on with your life.
  12. Exactly this. Even if she needs good advice or help, you are not in a position to help her.
  13. I believe this is an incompatibility issue and possibly an insecurity issue. Does it make you feel insecure knowing that your boyfriend doesn't "need" and can have fun with his friends without you? Do you have fun with your friends or do you constantly miss him? What do you do on your nights off? What would you like him to be doing instead of going out with his friends?
  14. I know this breakup is still fresh for you and you're left wondering what happened, but it is best not to question how he was feeling or why he did something. Most often, the dumper doesn't even understand why they feel a certain way or did a certain thing. So trying to understand them is just a big waste of time and energy.
  15. Every family has different dynamics. Some families are very close and like to do stuff together. Some families are very accepting of new "young relationships" while others might expect for someone not to bring their significant other around until they were more serious. I don't think this is indicative of him not wanting a relationship with you, and I think that if you push to hard on this issue you'll push him away. At this point I think it would be better to wait and see how things turn out.
  16. This would depend on the person. There are people that are heavily focused on their careers and for them a relationship would be a distraction and not worth it. But I'd say that most people do want a partner that they can share their lives with.
  17. It sounds like he was lonely and used you until he found someone else and now he wants to keep you on the back burner in case this new relationship goes south. My advice is that you block him and move on.
  18. Thanks! I haven't been around in forever! lol I agree. It's "only cold sores" until you develop a life-threatening condition from it. CDC's guidelines for healthcare workers is to use contact and airborne precautions. So in the healthcare setting it's not treated as simple cold sores either. Personally, I have not seen any severe complications from HSV, but I have seen a patient affected with shingles pneumonia. HSV can cause the same. My husband's mom also has cold sores and she experiences excruciating pain when she has outbreaks. We avoided kissing and oral sex when
  19. Kissing is one thing, but what about genital herpes? Would you say that possibly getting genital herpes from HSV-1 is an acceptable risk?
  20. I have no patience for guys that get irritated over things like that. You are inexperienced. It is completely normal for it to be painful, especially if you've never used tampons or anything like that before. You don't need to fake enjoyment. Go at the speed you are comfortable with, and if he cares about you, he will be happy to do that.
  21. I understand where you're coming from, but I'd the situation were reversed, and I were hsv free, I'd want to know. The last thing I need is to possibly get genital herpes with someone I'm not that serious about yet. This study ( ) states that asymptomatic shedding is the most common mechanism of transmission. And given that type 1 can spread to pretty much anywhere on the body (type 2 is known for just preferring the genital area and rarely moving anywhere else) I'd say that it is the more dangerous of the two.
  22. You can be tested for antibodies and as far as I'm aware, it's pretty accurate.
  23. Hi TOV, I'm late coming to this thread so I'm sorry if I've missed other important posts (I'm posting from my phone too). My husband has oral herpes and as far as I was aware, I didn't have it. We weren't super cautious about it, but we generally avoided kissing each other when he had a cold sore. Last month I got a complete STD test and I am positive for HSV. Ive never had an HSV test before so I can't say for certain that I contracted it from my husband, but everyone else I've been with has supposedly been HSV free. But, I've never had a cold sore. Not once. It's a relief in a
  24. Annie, I'm late in coming into this, but I'm so sorry about what's happened. From what you posted, I do think you're better off without him. Also, from what you've said, I wondered if you had a bit of "white knight syndrome" with him? I know that that's a term usually applied to men, but I think it can happen to women as well. Do you think it could have been anything like that? It seems like you nurtured him during a bad period in his life, and I wonder if he couldn't respect you for that. I could be totally off-base because I haven't been following your journal too closely, but maybe it's som
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