I will be losing my V-card to someone I don't like soon.

[PaintWithLight]

This!!! It is his toxic attitude towards sex, his desperation and lack of game that are killing his chances to have sex. I am sorry but it is still an activity that most women use a degree of caution before making a selection. Why would the fact that he is a virgin even come up if he is romancing someone to bed? He plays the virgin role as some kine of sympathy card and gets shot down every time. The fact that he thinks being with an escort is going to magically fix his game and give him confidence shows how muddled his thinking is on this topic. You may not be a virgin any longer but you will still be 0-100 with women that you have seduced. This is a bad idea and will fix nothing.

[ToF]

That's great, but no one is having sex with him thus far. (From the way that women on ENA talk, you'd think that women would be tripping over each other to have sex with him, given that he's a virgin.) This is one of those "proof is in the pudding" situations. For however many years, he's been hoping that a woman would have sex with him...but for some mysterious reason, it hasn't happened. I don't blame him for wanting to try a different approach.

 

Take it from a fellow late-bloomer: I heard a lot of women say, "There's nothing wrong with being a virgin...but, completely coincidentally, I'm still not going to sleep with you." It took a lot of time and effort (by my standards, anyway) before I finally found one that didn't have a problem with my lack of experience.

 

I was crazy about a virgin guy in his late 20s for over a year. And I mean "I want to jump your bones" crazy. His being a virgin didn't deter me in the least.

[OptomisticGirl]

This!!! It is his toxic attitude towards sex, his desperation and lack of game that are killing his chances to have sex. I am sorry but it is still an activity that most women use a degree of caution before making a selection. Why would the fact that he is a virgin even come up if he is romancing someone to bed? He plays the virgin role as some kine of sympathy card and gets shot down every time. The fact that he thinks being with an escort is going to magically fix his game and give him confidence shows how muddled his thinking is on this topic. You may not be a virgin any longer but you will still be 0-100 with women that you have seduced. This is a bad idea and will fix nothing.

 

The seduced part is excellent, and I'll quote my favourite British comedian, Russell Howard:

 

“But boobs should be earned, through wit or personality or effort. ‘You behave properly, here are my boobs, thank-you.’ Not 'get your pin number number out, get your bangers out'.”

[Wayfara]

I honestly don't like the idea but I have no other choice as I'm about to be 26 and nothing has changed about my dating life.

To go or not to go is up to you alone so you do have a choice, no one is putting a gun to your head. I may not fully understand the purpose if you don't like the idea but this is your life.

 

Id rather just go ahead with the idea of seeing an escort so I don't have to bare the weight of being a Virgin at 26 years old. I'm tired of being the only one I know who's still a virgin at this age.

 

I feel like such a blacksheep not knowing what they are talking about or how to interact.

 

I refuse to wait another year and become a 30 year old virgin.

 

You see being a virgin as something shameful. I don't agree with that view, I think it can be something positive, less baggage to worry about, unless he is desperate which would be a turn off, desperation can make anything look bad.

 

I have needs that aren't being met.

 

Well if your needs can be met simply by buying sex with a prostitute, all the better. It's not everyone who can get into it when the sexual partner is only in it for the money.

 

Maybe if I slept with an escort it would make me more valuable in the market.

 

I hope you are not doing it to impress the very small group women that get turned on by sex-buyers. If you are going to do it, do it for your own sake because it will not make you more attractive, in many cases quite the opposite.

[chitown9]

OP, if you think that prostitution is legal in Las Vegas you are wrong. There is prostitution in Vegas, but it is illegal just like it is in most states. On the other hand, there is legal prostitution in some areas of Nevada. Those places are highly regulated by the state as far as STD checks and for taxation purposes etc. I would do some research on this before you make your move....chi

[marmar1]

my ex was 31 when he lost his virginity to me. there is no shame in waiting. A decent woman will be fine with it and understandng. Don't rush into it. You may regret it.

[Donovan79]

Don't do it, bud. You need to figure out why your relationships aren't working out. And unless you're horribly disfigured or severely obese, it's probably not about what's on the outside, but what's on the inside. Once you do this you can't take it back, and all the rest of your life you might feel shamed knowing you didn't have the willpower to hold out. But if you think you can do it without looking back with regret, hey, party on.

 

Given how you describe one girl as "the love of your life" and flaking out, it's possible that you've taken your relationships too seriously and obsessively, when you just gotta learn how to have some fun with friends, get flirty with girls without getting serious about them, have some fun, and try to date a little without getting all "you're the one for me", which for most girls they like to be the one to initiate while the guy is just a litte less serious than them. Girls don't like to be pushed into anything, so if you can stay happy and fun and nonchalant you should be okay...

[Hoagy]

If it makes you feel any better almost everyone lies about their sex life. They may make all kinds of claims about who they've done it with and how many times and how young they were because nobody likes to be left out but almost everyone lies on their CV too. You're still young so try not to worry about it. My experience is that good things happen when you least expect them.

[Huntress0527]

You're choosing the wrong women. I married a nice guy that has confidence. There is a difference.

 

This has been an ongoing issue and your attitude hasn't changed so I guess all we can say to you is good luck, be careful, and be smart- protect yourself.

[MD Geist]

You know what I'm going to argue. I've lost weight, I live 4 blocks from the beach, pay my own bills and such and I'm always working on myself but thats never enough to please a woman because theres always someone else who's better in their eyes. People can say I'm going for the wrong women but what is the right woman?

 

I often do try and make a connection and all I can do is ask her out and if she says no or whatever there's nothing I can personally do.

 

So I've come to conclusion there's no one else coming into my life.

 

My only optians are is to declare myself Asexual, become Gay or Anti sexual. Thats really my only choice up to this point. Id rather just pay for it. Get it done and move on.

[DrKitten]

People can say I'm going for the wrong women but what is the right woman?

 

That is what EVERYONE is trying to find. For most, that is the point of dating and meeting people. People can be in relationships/marriages for years and still not find the right person into their 40s and 50s.

[EQIQ]

You know what I'm going to argue. I've lost weight, I live 4 blocks from the beach, pay my own bills and such and I'm always working on myself but thats never enough to please a woman because theres always someone else who's better in their eyes. People can say I'm going for the wrong women but what is the right woman?

 

I often do try and make a connection and all I can do is ask her out and if she says no or whatever there's nothing I can personally do.

 

So I've come to conclusion there's no one else coming into my life.

 

My only optians are is to declare myself Asexual, become Gay or Anti sexual. Thats really my only choice up to this point. Id rather just pay for it. Get it done and move on.

 

Making your penis ejaculate into a vagina is not going to fix the problem of not being able to find/seduce women.

 

I am a virgin, and there have been more than just 1 girl willing to have sex with me, but I am holding out till I get married. Just trying to point it out to you, that the problem is on your head, not where your penis has, or hasn't been in...

[annie24]

MD, good luck. I really hope you feel more confident after this. But I wouldn't tell women you saw an escort. Personally, I've never asked or cared if a man is a virgin. I'm just looking for a good boyfriend. I view going to a prostitute like or just losing your virginity to get it over with much like, say, crossing a state or country border just to say you were there. Ok, you were there for an hour or two, but that is far different than spending any appreciable amount of time there. I had a 2 hour lay over in Tahiti but can't really say I was in Tahiti because I never left the airport. I hope that makes sense. Anyway, wear a condom and I hope this gives you the confidence you need to get out there.

 

If it makes you feel any better, I am doing online dating and being rejected by men left and right. People tell me that I'm pretty, smart and nice, but things arent clicking for me either. Dating is not easy.

[Huntress0527]

That is what EVERYONE is trying to find. For most, that is the point of dating and meeting people. People can be in relationships/marriages for years and still not find the right person into their 40s and 50s.

 

Agreed.

 

Yes, everyone is looking for the right person that wants a relationship. No one says I want to be in a relationship with someone who isn't right for me. I don't think a trip to the escort is going to make you feel better. I think that's a superficial fix. It's your attitude. It stinks. You should be doing things for YOU not to please women i.e losing weight, being financially secure etc. When you learn to live for yourself the women will come easier. You care too much about finding someone that you come off desperate which is off putting to women.

[guynextdoor]

You know what I'm going to argue. I've lost weight, I live 4 blocks from the beach, pay my own bills and such and I'm always working on myself but thats never enough to please a woman because theres always someone else who's better in their eyes. People can say I'm going for the wrong women but what is the right woman?

 

I often do try and make a connection and all I can do is ask her out and if she says no or whatever there's nothing I can personally do.

 

So I've come to conclusion there's no one else coming into my life.

 

My only optians are is to declare myself Asexual, become Gay or Anti sexual. Thats really my only choice up to this point. Id rather just pay for it. Get it done and move on.

 

Wait.. what? You live 4 blocks from the beach but your location is Colorado?? Look man you want to lose your v-card that bad why go to Vegas? You can go to Craigslist or use POF and let them know that you are fit and have cash money. I'm sure you will bag something, but if you want a true meaningful relationshp and find someone that is turned on by you and not your money then just wait it out.

[DrKitten]

Wait.. what? You live 4 blocks from the beach but your location is Colorado?? Look man you want to lose your v-card that bad why go to Vegas? You can go to Craigslist or use POF and let them know that you are fit and have cash money. I'm sure you will bag something, but if you want a true meaningful relationshp and find someone that is turned on by you and not your money then just wait it out.

 

Some lakes have pretty nice beaches.

[Blue Spiral]

Do you want to know why it hasn't happened for him Spiral? Because he's putting too much emphasis on it and in the wrong areas of bettering himself.

 

You're talking about emotional, intangible stuff. He's talking about a physical, tangible improvement. I find it awfully convenient that your important areas of "betterment" are in an area that's subject to perception, where there's no concrete way to prove that you're better or have grown. It's the classic relationship treadmill. "I don't feel right" or "I don't feel secure enough!" A man can stay on that hamster-wheel his entire life, trying to win or prove something that doesn't actually exist, because it's in another person's head.

 

The bottom line is, he can go out tomorrow, get this taken care of, and prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that he can do it. He can't do that with any of these "you have to become more confident" things, because they take time and they're always subject to someone else's perception.

[Blue Spiral]

The seduced part is excellent, and I'll quote my favourite British comedian, Russell Howard:

 

“But boobs should be earned, through wit or personality or effort. ‘You behave properly, here are my boobs, thank-you.’ Not 'get your pin number number out, get your bangers out'.”

 

So, according to you, sex is something men have to earn. What do women have to earn, pray tell?

[EQIQ]

You're talking about emotional, intangible stuff. He's talking about a physical, tangible improvement. I find it awfully convenient that your important areas of "betterment" are in an area that's subject to perception, where there's no concrete way to prove that you're better or have grown. It's the classic relationship treadmill. "I don't feel right" or "I don't feel secure enough!" A man can stay on that hamster-wheel his entire life, trying to win or prove something that doesn't actually exist, because it's in another person's head.

 

The bottom line is, he can go out tomorrow, get this taken care of, and prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that he can do it. He can't do that with any of these "you have to become more confident" things, because they take time and they're always subject to someone else's perception.

 

I think he would be better off reading advice on confidence, and improving his game, and hitting clubs,and talking to random girls at super markets, art fairs, wherever... Just working on his confidence and game. When he starts getting laid by these women, he will sense a tangible improvement lol... Getting better at your game is a definite tangible improvement...

[EQIQ]

So, according to you, sex is something men have to earn. What do women have to earn, pray tell?

 

IMO people try to play equality cards too much. Women and men are different. They try to play "equal" when it suits them, and men try to play "equal" when it suits us... In this field I do believe we should be taking the lead and "attacking", their job is to look like a "desirable target"... just the way I see it...

[Miss Firecracker]

I don't really see how improving your seduction skills would be better than paying. Either way the goal is sex, and either way he will get it. If you are looking for love that's different.

[Blue Spiral]

I think he would be better off reading advice on confidence' date=' and improving his game, and hitting clubs,and talking to random girls at super markets, art fairs, wherever... Just working on his confidence and game. When he starts getting laid by these women, he will sense a tangible improvement lol... Getting better at your game is a definite tangible improvement...[/quote']

 

"game" is a ridiculous concept, to me. If two adults want to have sex with each other, they know it, and they should do it. If you need "game" to convince a woman to have sex with you, something is clearly missing. Primal attraction and compatibility should be doing what game does. Likewise, if you're looking for a serious relationship, starting it off by gaming them...well, it's probably not the best foundation.

 

I feel like "confidence" and "game" have become airy, vague catch-alls that women can unquestionably use to reject anyone they're not attracted to, but without actually having to admit that they're making their decision based on attraction. "He's just not confident enough" = "I don't want to **** him, but I don't want to hurt his feelings, and I'd look bad if I told him the real reason, so I'll give a reason that's wrapped up in my perception of him, which I'll never have to prove."

 

From what I've seen, having game and/or being nice are great, as long as you already have traits that women want. If you don't have those traits, having game and/or being nice aren't going to do much for you, and women will gladly go for guys that don't try and aren't nice, as long as they have the traits they actually want.

[Glowguy]

I think this could be good for the OP and I totally understand why he would want to get it done with. Being a virgin in your 20's is actually a huge burden and most guys aren't waiting around for the right moment. They just want to get laid but obviously have difficulty. It is a constant source of embarrassment and shame. I've been there and I wish I had lost it much sooner. I did myself no favors by prolonging it and I'm fairly neurotic about sex now because of it.

 

As far as what other women think - well they don't have to know. You can easily tell them it was a one night stand since they seem to prefer that.

[EQIQ]

I don't really see how improving your seduction skills would be better than paying. Either way the goal is sex, and either way he will get it. If you are looking for love that's different.

 

But having game will not only help you with getting sex, but actually getting someone meaningful as well... Regardless if you want something short or long term, you need to get her to be interested/attracted to you. And attraction at the first time you meet is very important. Getting her to be intrigued, and to think about you is important. If from there you wanna to try and take it to the bedroom, or try and take it to a second date, is up to the people involved. But if a guy has no game, no confidence, it will make getting into a relationship harder, because of the first step... people usually don't take the time to get to know people that they aint interested/attracted to....

[EQIQ]

And confidence is usually one of those traits... lol?

Unless you believe everyone is absolutely materialistic, and women are just attracted to money + looks. Which I highly disagree with. Money + looks can get you sex... but don't necessarily get you what you want from a woman.

 

Besides... how many ugly, poor guys have you seen with hot women? I have seen a fair share... It's all about how you carry yourself and they way you are perceived.