I will be losing my V-card to someone I don't like soon.

[sara-pezzini]

haven't read through all the pages so maybe somebody already brought this up, but if you do this to get your needs met, this is the wrong approach, it will probably not be mind blowing, BUT after having sex once you will start to want it more and more and then you are no longer a virign, no, women might still reject you but you crave more sex....

i know i never used to crave sex as much as i do now and i lost my virginity well in my thirties and once i finally did the juises started to flow so to speak and i want and need more sex, not just that first time, so imo this is a bad idea and you will regret it.

[Mercurial Girl]

haven't read through all the pages so maybe somebody already brought this up, but if you do this to get your needs met, this is the wrong approach, it will probably not be mind blowing, BUT after having sex once you will start to want it more and more and then you are no longer a virign, no, women might still reject you but you crave more sex....

i know i never used to crave sex as much as i do now and i lost my virginity well in my thirties and once i finally did the juises started to flow so to speak and i want and need more sex, not just that first time, so imo this is a bad idea and you will regret it.

 

I was thinking this too! If you think you want/need/crave sex now, wait until you get a taste of it! At least before I didn't know what I was missing lol

[jonny15]

haven't read through all the pages so maybe somebody already brought this up, but if you do this to get your needs met, this is the wrong approach, it will probably not be mind blowing, BUT after having sex once you will start to want it more and more and then you are no longer a virign, no, women might still reject you but you crave more sex....

i know i never used to crave sex as much as i do now and i lost my virginity well in my thirties and once i finally did the juises started to flow so to speak and i want and need more sex, not just that first time, so imo this is a bad idea and you will regret it.

 

 

You might have not craved sex before you had it, but some of us do.

 

If i didn't crave it, I would never masturbate.

 

Heck, if I didn't crave it, I would never care about having sex.

[ToF]

I think his point was not that he didn't crave sex before he had it, but rather that he craved sex a lot more after he experienced it. So if the OP experiences the same thing, he may wind up more frustrated after making this decision than if he just remained a virgin.

[sara-pezzini]

You might have not craved sex before you had it, but some of us do.

 

If i didn't crave it, I would never masturbate.

 

Heck, if I didn't crave it, I would never care about having sex.

 

i used to crave it too, (like i said, i just didn't crave it AS MUCH as now.).....and masturbated but my craving and desire for sex was nothing compared to once i got the real thing, believe me it only gets worse!!

[sara-pezzini]

btw, i am not a he........hahaha

[jonny15]

I think his point was not that he didn't crave sex before he had it, but rather that he craved sex a lot more after he experienced it. So if the OP experiences the same thing, he may wind up more frustrated after making this decision than if he just remained a virgin.

 

I used to crave it too and masturbated but my craving and desire for sex was nothing compared to once i got the real thing, believe me it only gets worse!!

 

Sorry, but that isn't worse than never having it.

 

It's better to have actually had sex than to never have had it at all.

 

Your basically saying that we should be happy we're virgins. LOL

 

Most virgins would take having sex over not having it at all.

 

It just doesn't make sense otherwise.

[Miss Firecracker]

I don't believe you have intentions of sleeping with a prostitute. Men who go that way wouldn't bother to talk about it. They would just do it without a care in the world. It must be against your morals.

[OptomisticGirl]

Sorry, but that isn't worse than never having it.

 

It's better to have actually had sex than to never have had it at all.

 

Your basically saying that we should be happy we're virgins. LOL

 

Most virgins would take having sex over not having it at all.

 

It just doesn't make sense otherwise.

 

I hate to throw this card but unless you've had, you won't understand why it's harder to have it and then not have it again vs. never having experienced it. Yes, you can crave it before you have it but after having it... God.. that craving multiples. And if your in a position like me whose in a LDR and can't get it whenever she wants (which for me if I physically could do it would be every day) it's killer.

[pl3asehelp]

Make sure you tell any future partners that you've slept with a prostitute before you have sex with them. I know that would be a dealbreaker for me.

[sara-pezzini]

agree with OG, if you never had sex you won't know how you feel or how you crave it, until you had it,

not too long ago i was a virgin as well, way in my thirties and i was so ashamed about it and thought the same as you, excactly the same, but now that i have sex and am in an LDR as well, well, believe me, that is killing and i crave it wayyyy more than when i was still a virgin, cause then you just do not know how it will feel and what effect that will have on your body.

i though the same as you and was convinced about the same thing, but now that i finally have sex, i know i was wrong, once you get the real thing you never want to be without it again,

and no, i am not saying you should be glad you are a virgin, never ever have i said that, i know how it feels to be one at a late age, i know the shame and pain that goes with it, i am only saying if the OP loses it THIS way, he will regret it cause then he will want it even more than he does now.

but johny, we have had discussions before, you are so totally convinced of your own opinions and you just do not listen to other people's opinions, so you velieve what you want to......my response was for the OP

and i mean yes, he will lose his virginity, but then ,ight still be without a chance to have sex again, so that will be worse, to know how it feels, to physically crave it even more, but to have no chance at it and has to pay for it again, that will feel worse...

and also agree with those who said they rather sleep with a virgin than one who has paid for sex, that would just turn me off completely and be a dealbreaker to me...

btw, 26 is not old at all..........and you also never know when your life will change, you can have sex on your trip and meet the one next year or next month and you will hate yourself for having done this

[Moontiger]

A few thoughts I have: 1) My BFF is a VERY sexual experienced girl and she is now in a three year relationship with a guy who was a virgin when they started dating. They are now living together and so in love it could give you a cavity. 2) If I was dating a guy and he revealed he had paid for sex I would lose a lot of respect for him and probably stop dating him.

 

Seeing a sex worker (I will bet any amount of money on this) will not make you feel better about yourself or make more woman want to date you. There just seem like so many other option starting with 1) Online dating 2) Seeing a match maker. Heck, I'm pretty sure there are dating sites for virgins out there. Why not try that first and NOT screw yourself over in 5 years when you have to tell the person you are dating that you saw a hooker and then you have to suffer through the girl looking disgusted and walking away.

 

There are many things that could be going wrong here. Just from you attitude in this thread I don't know one woman who would want to date you. Men and woman are actually very similar in what they want in a person: Confident, funny, smart, someone who makes them feel comfortable. I would be interesting in hearing how you approach a woman. Where do you typically meet them, what do you usually talk about, HOW do you ask them out? The more information we have the more we can help you.

[tiredofvampires]

I'm not convinced that having the kind of sex you have with a paid sex worker will create the cravings for sex that are talked about here, with a person you love, who is a PERSON YOU CRAVE being intimate with.

 

Sex without emotion can feel much like glorified masturbation.

 

And for all those advising the OP that telling a future partner he's paid for sex would be a dealbreaker or make them lose respect for him, it only will reinforce the argument, "That's precisely why I wouldn't tell them." I don't think it will necessarily deter him from seeing a prostitute, it will deter him from ever telling anyone he gets with in the future.

[camus154]

I don't see why one would be obligated to disclose such information anyway. The only possible relevancy I can see is in regards to STDs, but that's a discussion you'd need to have a) only if you had one, and b) no matter who you'd been with.

[OptomisticGirl]

I don't see why one would be obligated to disclose such information anyway. The only possible relevancy I can see is in regards to STDs, but that's a discussion you'd need to have a) only if you had one, and b) no matter who you'd been with.

 

For many of us, paid sex is a deal breaker (just as sex outside a committed, loving relationship is a deal breaker for many). If I had found out a SO had had sex with an escort that would be the end of it for me. No questions asked. Which is why I advised the OP to think long and hard about what he wants: random sexual encounters with no emotional relationship or at the end of it does he want a committed, loving relationship?

[Moontiger]

For many of us, paid sex is a deal breaker (just as sex outside a committed, loving relationship is a deal breaker for many). If I had found out a SO had had sex with an escort that would be the end of it for me. No questions asked. Which is why I advised the OP to think long and hard about what he wants: random sexual encounters with no emotional relationship or at the end of it does he want a committed, loving relationship?

 

Yup, this all comes down to what the OP wants in the long run. Seeing a sex worker will solve his short term problem (though I don't see being a virgin as being a problem, but I guess the OP does) but in the long run it will back-fire on him. If you have to hide part of your past from a partner that not a good thing. I have asked everyone I have dated about their sexual past and nothing ruins a relationship faster than lies and lies by omission.

 

For example, with my current BF, he a slept with a lot more people than I have. Many times where they were just hook ups. Now normally this would be a problem for me but these hook ups took place when he was much younger after an emotionally difficult situation in his life and he acted out in this way. Now that he is older he is over that kind of thing. I can accept that and move forward with the relationship. What I could not accept is being lied to.

[camus154]

For many of us, paid sex is a deal breaker (just as sex outside a committed, loving relationship is a deal breaker for many). If I had found out a SO had had sex with an escort that would be the end of it for me. No questions asked. Which is why I advised the OP to think long and hard about what he wants: random sexual encounters with no emotional relationship or at the end of it does he want a committed, loving relationship?

 

But why? I mean, it's certainly your right to make such a call, but I honestly don't understand the reasoning behind it.

 

Personally I don't think it's wise to go spelunking into a partner's sexual past to any serious degree anyway.

[Moontiger]

But why? I mean, it's certainly your right to make such a call, but I honestly don't understand the reasoning behind it.

 

Personally I don't think it's wise to go spelunking into a partner's sexual past to any serious degree anyway.

 

It shows an attitude towards sex and relationship that are incompatible with a lot of people. It makes the guy (or girl) look desperate which is not an attractive quality. And many people believe that prostitution is nothing more the exploitation of woman. So, if you are someone who believes that a person seeing a sex worker is also someone who only uses woman for their bodies. Again, not an attractive quality.

[camus154]

It shows an attitude towards sex and relationship that are incompatible with a lot of people. It makes the guy (or girl) look desperate which is not an attractive quality. And many people believe that prostitution is nothing more the exploitation of woman. So, if you are someone who believes that a person seeing a sex worker is also someone who only uses woman for their bodies. Again, not an attractive quality.

 

Hmm, fair enough. Thanks.

[OptomisticGirl]

But why? I mean, it's certainly your right to make such a call, but I honestly don't understand the reasoning behind it.

 

Personally I don't think it's wise to go spelunking into a partner's sexual past to any serious degree anyway.

 

Because I refuse to be with a person who has had sex outside a committed, loving relationship. Sex is emotional for me (I can't even fantazie about someone unless I'm in love with them) so I look for that in a partner. Obviously if your having sex with excorts, you and I won't jive in that area. Same token of I'd never have dated a guy who had a one night stand or been in a FWB situation.

 

Well, I do. However I'm mature enough to know most people my age have had sex before so I can handle the number. Many can't handle that kind of information and I agree, in that case if they can't they don't need spelunking in the past. My husband has been with 3 women. Didn't bother me at all when he told me. Didn't flip, didnt expect him at 25 not to have had previous partners... it's about your maturity level and how you handle the information.

[jonny15]

I hate to throw this card but unless you've had, you won't understand why it's harder to have it and then not have it again vs. never having experienced it. Yes, you can crave it before you have it but after having it... God.. that craving multiples.

 

Yea....I get it, it can be great. Hence why we want it. But not having it at all is much more frustrating. Sorry, but it is.

 

Seeing others get it while you never do is much harder. Because if you have sex, odds are your going to have it again, and again.

 

And if your in a position like me whose in a LDR and can't get it whenever she wants (which for me if I physically could do it would be every day) it's killer.

 

Uhh...yes you can. Get out of that relashionship and get into one near you. That fixes that.

[OptomisticGirl]

Yea....I get it, it can be great. Hence why we want it. But not having it at all is much more frustrating. Sorry, but it is.

 

Seeing others get it while you never do is much harder. Because if you have sex, odds are your going to have it again, and again.

 

 

 

Uhh...yes you can. Get out of that relashionship and get into one near you. That fixes that.

 

Like I said, if you've never had it, you can't really say which is more frustrating until you do have, correct? You only know of one side.

 

Not true. I lost my virginity at 14 and didn't have sex again until I was 18. Soooo you may EVENTUALLY get it again but doesn't mean it's going to be anytime soon.

 

Considering I'm a happily married woman, 'getting out' of my relationship has never been an option. Again, it's not all about sex in life people. There's a whole lot more that makes the world go round.

[pl3asehelp]

I don't see why one would be obligated to disclose such information anyway. The only possible relevancy I can see is in regards to STDs, but that's a discussion you'd need to have a) only if you had one, and b) no matter who you'd been with.

 

You wouldn't be obligated, but if you think that your first time will never come up with a long term partner, you're probably wrong and if you think just not saying anything or lying when asked are any different, you're probably wrong there too.

[camus154]

You wouldn't be obligated, but if you think that your first time will never come up with a long term partner, you're probably wrong and if you think just not saying anything or lying when asked are any different, you're probably wrong there too.

 

I'm with a long term partner now and the only thing about the first time that's come up is how old we were. I don't need to know who it was, I don't need to know what he did for a living, etc. It's simply not relevant.

[pl3asehelp]

I'm with a long term partner now and the only thing about the first time that's come up is how old we were. I don't need to know who it was, I don't need to know what he did for a living, etc. It's simply not relevant.

 

To you, but that would not be safe to assume for everyone else. That's a risk the OP will be taking if his first time is with a prostitute.

 

For you, age was apparently important. For others, whether it was someone he was in a committed relationship with or a prostitute would be important.