I will be losing my V-card to someone I don't like soon.

[OptomisticGirl]

^ I can't speak for every woman but I'm a firm believer in 50/50. No man has ever been the only one to pay for me on a date.

[jonny15]

That is good, but it can't be said for most. Tho this is somewhat going off the rails when it comes to the actualy topic. opps

[Fudgie]

But what if that was the reason?

 

For experience? You have to start somewhere.

 

1) I would have stayed anyway. Honestly though, if he had the attitude of "I just need to lose my V, I don't care where" I would have found that unattractive and may not have slept with him because I value sex and would not want to date a guy who was like "I don't care who I sleep with." But if he was just honestly bad, then whatever, we'd work on it.

 

Unless you're open with the girl "I just want a fun time and don't want anything long-term with you", I don't think it's fair to date someone just to have someone to bone. I only date if I see long-term potential and if something comes up that makes us incompatible, then I leave.

 

But is anyone really gonna ask if someone has paid for it?

 

And let's be honest. Don't all men pay for it anyways?

 

Who pays for the dinner?

 

Who's picking the girl up?

 

Who's paying for gas.

 

It may not be proper to say, but we are driven by sex, and we pay for most everything.

 

We eventually want to have sex with you, and we generally do alot to get to that point.

 

I don't have my boyfriend pay for everything, not even in the beginning. I've always been half/half. And that goes for gas too, even if only one of us has a car. I don't like splitting checks much but since my boyfriend and I go to places that all roughly cost the same (I usually only go out to places that is about $30 TOTAL for dinner) then we just take turns, like, he'll pay for one night and then I'll pay for another.

[Wayfara]

But is anyone really gonna ask if someone has paid for it?

 

Well I would, not the first time we meet of course, but when we have gotten comfortable with each other.

 

And let's be honest. Don't all men pay for it anyways?

 

Who pays for the dinner?

 

Who's picking the girl up?

 

Who's paying for gas.

 

It may not be proper to say, but we are driven by sex, and we pay for most everything.

 

We eventually want to have sex with you, and we generally do alot to get to that point.

 

I like paying for my own food and drinks, not comfortable with someone paying for me, I don't have a car but I would help paying the gas. That said even if you would buy someone dinner it doesn't mean they owe you anything, you are not paying them, you are giving them a treat. When you pay a prostitute you do feel they owe you and you do expect something in return and you want them to deliver it even if they are not attracted to you, that is what makes it different.

[jonny15]

1) I would have stayed anyway. Honestly though, if he had the attitude of "I just need to lose my V, I don't care where" I would have found that unattractive and may not have slept with him because I value sex and would not want to date a guy who was like "I don't care who I sleep with." But if he was just honestly bad, then whatever, we'd work on it.

 

Unless you're open with the girl "I just want a fun time and don't want anything long-term with you", I don't think it's fair to date someone just to have someone to bone. I only date if I see long-term potential and if something comes up that makes us incompatible, then I leave.

 

I'm not speaking of desperation. I'm just saying, what if your the first one to give him that type of attention? And it wasn't because he was being choosey with who he wanted to be with.

 

 

I don't have my boyfriend pay for everything, not even in the beginning. I've always been half/half. And that goes for gas too, even if only one of us has a car. I don't like splitting checks much but since my boyfriend and I go to places that all roughly cost the same (I usually only go out to places that is about $30 TOTAL for dinner) then we just take turns, like, he'll pay for one night and then I'll pay for another.

 

That is cool, but that isn't how it works everywhere. Espically in the south where women seem to expect men to do everything first.

[Fudgie]

I'm not speaking of desperation. I'm just saying, what if your the first one to give him that type of attention? And it wasn't because he was being choosey with who he wanted to be with.

 

That is cool, but that isn't how it works everywhere. Espically in the south where women seem to expect men to do everything first.

 

Well, then I'd be the first to give him that kind of attention. I know he is picky who he is with in terms of character...nothing to do with sex at all. I know he loves me for me. The fact that he had opportunities before doesn't matter.

 

Another reason to get out of the south then. I'm from way up north in NY and people are chill here, I think. We also have a lot to do. It's just a bit colder in the winter with snow, that's all. I couldn't imagine having the guy pay for everything. He's just like a wallet then. The nice thing about the US is that people are different everywhere. If you are finding that you don't enjoy living in a particular city or whatnot, you can leave without a passport or anything. Just try to find a job in your field elsewhere, save up, and move to some place that suits you more.

[OptomisticGirl]

I'm not speaking of desperation. I'm just saying, what if your the first one to give him that type of attention? And it wasn't because he was being choosey with who he wanted to be with.

 

 

 

 

That is cool, but that isn't how it works everywhere. Espically in the south where women seem to expect men to do everything first.

 

Ah, I'm from the South. Born and raised. Drf not like that. You can generalise all you want but the fact is vast majority of women don't fit that generalisation.

[Fudgie]

Ah, I'm from the South. Born and raised. Drf not like that. You can generalise all you want but the fact is vast majority of women don't fit that generalisation.

 

I think this is true, esp as you get older. I notice a lot of high-school girls or even college-aged women wanting the guy to pay for all. It's different when you're both older and more established.

[jonny15]

Well, then I'd be the first to give him that kind of attention. I know he is picky who he is with in terms of character...nothing to do with sex at all. I know he loves me for me. The fact that he had opportunities before doesn't matter.

 

Well what I said last about it was what I was getting at in the first place.

 

So it would be cool if you simply were the first chick to give him attention? It's nice to know that.

 

Another reason to get out of the south then. I'm from way up north in NY and people are chill here, I think. We also have a lot to do. It's just a bit colder in the winter with snow, that's all. I couldn't imagine having the guy pay for everything. He's just like a wallet then. The nice thing about the US is that people are different everywhere. If you are finding that you don't enjoy living in a particular city or whatnot, you can leave without a passport or anything. Just try to find a job in your field elsewhere, save up, and move to some place that suits you more.

 

I really don't think i'd want to leave the area at all. I really don't think I could leave here and go to a totally new place where I don't know anyone.

[Fudgie]

Well what I said last about it was what I was getting at in the first place.

 

So it would be cool if you simply were the first chick to give him attention? It's nice to know that.

 

I really don't think i'd want to leave the area at all. I really don't think I could leave here and go to a totally new place where I don't know anyone.

 

Me being the first to give him that sort of attention doesn't really mean much to me. I don't see why it would matter. He did get attention from gals but I have dated guys in the past who NEVER got that attention and I was the first (they were virgins too, but we did not end up having sex b/c of other incompatibility reasons). It's just not a big deal.

 

Some people do relocate if they feel that they don't "fit in" a certain area. It happens. If you're really reluctant to leave though, I would keep trying online dating and perhaps expanding the physical "radius" of your search, so you're locating girls who exist anywhere in TN, so you are broadening your circle without having to travel too much.

[EQIQ]

I think in order to build confidence in yourself and get better quickly at getting girls online dating is not the best. Would suggest you approaching women in person at bars, libraries, gym.. wherever. But in person. If you get shot down hard 90% of the time, it's okay... if you hit on 10 girls in a week, you at least got one Go clubbing and hit on girls there too, they might be more in the mood etc... I don't, but if you just want experience, and to have sex... go for it.

[MD Geist]

MD Geist, do you really not see how much hostility you have towards women? You think so poorly of women, and yet you want to be with a woman. Do you see how this doesn't make sense?

 

I really mean it when I say that I would have no problem sleeping with a virgin. The only time it would ever bother me is if he was extremely insecure about it. In fact, insecurity in general is unattractive.

 

You say that you're a nice guy, and yet 'nice guys' don't go around insulting a whole group of people.

 

Maybe you don't see it from our perspective but then again you'd never understand the stuggles we have since you can pick and choice rather than "Hope" to be picked or excepted. And insulting. Please define that.

[MD Geist]

No one is perfect both men and woman know that. And, since we are on the topic, let me guess, you go for the 8s, 9s, 10s only right? The girl with rocking curves, pretty face, etc. If your not willing to go for less than perfection in the people you go after don't expect others to accept less than perfection in you.

 

I honestly don't go for 8's and up. It really bothers me when people say I have high standards and only go for the hot ones in fact I've never been out on a date with any woman that I liked. The very one girlfriend I had who I wasn't attracted to. Lowered my standards for ended up lying to me(probably slept around on me two since she lived with her ex boyfriend) The only girls I refuse to date are single mothers because I don't want to deal with their kids or the drama that comes from the prevous partner. I've also tried dating women who are older than me rather than being with the hot and young ones and I often get rejected by them, they want someone older than they are. someone who can step in their lives and pay their problems.

 

Ok, so what about the girls I do like? LOL They don't even bother to give me the time of day. What about the girls that I haven't explored? Yeah those ones typically do the club scene. I don't like party type girls at all and I'm suppose to go work with that from now on or a single mother having to take care of someone elses kids? no! Its not right. Maybe seeing a pro for my needs from now on is a better option as pathetically to say it is but I don't believe for one second there's a woman out there for me. So what I'm I suppose to do wait till I'm 50 years old to finally have my first? wait till i'm 40? by then I'm sure I won't funcition properly down there. Why wait? she's not going to. Heck she's probably having her second child right now for all we know.

[Moontiger]

I find it interesting the your ignored 90% of my post and only responded to the last part. This is going to be a hard pill to swallow but once again I will say it: The problem is your attitude. You come off hostile and desperate. Not attractive qualities.

 

If you really wanted a relationship your would ask the "successful" men in your life, "What am I doing wrong?" AGAIN, no one here can tell you since we can't see how you interact with woman. What we can tell you is that if you go into dating with the same attitude you have here then its no surprise that woman are not responding.

 

You seem happier to wallow in self-pity than to actually do anything pro-active about your situation.

[Moontiger]

Also, woman can tell when you are not attracted to them. The girl you dated and the girls you go for will be able to tell, "Wow, this guy is not into me." That's a turn off incase it was unclear.

[Huntress0527]

I find it interesting the your ignored 90% of my post and only responded to the last part. This is going to be a hard pill to swallow but once again I will say it: The problem is your attitude. You come off hostile and desperate. Not attractive qualities.

 

If you really wanted a relationship your would ask the "successful" men in your life, "What am I doing wrong?" AGAIN, no one here can tell you since we can't see how you interact with woman. What we can tell you is that if you go into dating with the same attitude you have here then its no surprise that woman are not responding.

 

You seem happier to wallow in self-pity than to actually do anything pro-active about your situation.

 

Agreed

 

You've been given the same advice over and over but still post the same issue and about visiting a prostitute. If you want to do that then just do it and not post about it every few months. Truth is I don't think you want to do that otherwise you would have by now. Sorry if that's harsh but your situation is not going to change unless you change your attitude. Not your job, not your car, not your residence, nothing superficial- you have to change your attitude. You see women in a bad light and automatically take a defensive stance. What woman wants to be with someone like that?

[ToF]

Take a little break from feeling so down on yourself, and read over all of this advice again.

 

Look for women in places you haven't tried (coffee shops? dog park? bookstores?). Or better yet, don't look for women at all. Take a break. Let some of this angst seep out of you before you put yourself out there again.

[Wayfara]

insulting. Please define that.

 

LOL Oh I forgot They don't even know what they want 99% of the time! thats why they will end up going for bad boys until they need to settledown with the Nice guy to help them pay their bills, take care of their children that doesn't even belong to them that they had with the bad boy, most importantly support their emotional weight.

 

You say women have babies with bad boys but make the nice guys take care of said babies, that would be like me saying men are criminals because most people in prison are men. It's generalizing and insulting because it's not true, just because some are like that doesn't make it true for everyone.

 

The times I have met guys who generalize and insult women I've considered them jerks, not nice guys. I'm going to assume we call bad boys bad because they are disrespectful and in my opinion generalizing and insulting women is disrespectful. So what makes a disrespectful nice guy different from a disrespectful bad boy?

 

I know a man who is very racist, calls his girlfriend fat and says women are worth less than men, this jerk thinks he is a nice guy and he gets told he is nice too. Almost everyone, even those who are not, think they are nice so I don't really put much value on the label unless they can back it up by actually being nice (as in not generalize and insult people, including women).

 

Why should I stay in prestine condition?

 

My reason for not buying sex hasn't to do with preserving purity, I just don't see any value in sex if there isn't a mutual attraction. You obviously have different values so mutual attraction might not be necessary for you to enjoy sex. If you are going to see a prostitute do it because it feels right for you, not because you think it will make women more attracted to you.

[scklbad]

He'll need to ask a third question: "Will you have sex with me?" The answer will be no, and he'll still be stuck with the same problem. There's no use putting him in a straw man/hypothetical situation, as women are already picking Option C: not having sex with a virgin or a guy whose first time was with an escort, but having sex with guys that are sexually experienced. Unfortunately, this sounds like the only way he can get that experience. The last thing he needs is more advice from women that aren't willing to sleep with him and thus solve the problem.

 

epic response!

[scklbad]

easy to say this Online

Who said a woman wouldn't have sex with a virgin? I have. I'd rather have sex with a virgin than a guy who either a) lost it to a escort or had ANY kind of kind sex (10th time, 100th time) with an escort. But that's because there is nothing wrong with being a virgin.

[scklbad]

yah man they say insanity is trying the same thing over and over and hoping-for something to change...kudos to MD

That's great, but no one is having sex with him thus far. (From the way that women on ENA talk, you'd think that women would be tripping over each other to have sex with him, given that he's a virgin.) This is one of those "proof is in the pudding" situations. For however many years, he's been hoping that a woman would have sex with him...but for some mysterious reason, it hasn't happened. I don't blame him for wanting to try a different approach.

 

Take it from a fellow late-bloomer: I heard a lot of women say, "There's nothing wrong with being a virgin...but, completely coincidentally, I'm still not going to sleep with you." It took a lot of time and effort (by my standards, anyway) before I finally found one that didn't have a problem with my lack of experience.

[ToF]

scklbad, can you not see how MD's attitude toward women might be the reason he's in this position?

[scklbad]

being a virign isnt his issue it's being a virgin involuntarily..you can not even begin to compare to his issue

Making your penis ejaculate into a vagina is not going to fix the problem of not being able to find/seduce women.

 

I am a virgin, and there have been more than just 1 girl willing to have sex with me, but I am holding out till I get married. Just trying to point it out to you, that the problem is on your head, not where your penis has, or hasn't been in...

[scklbad]

women are rough some won't give you the time of day regardless..im 22 and in the same boat either im oblivious too or women are the issue. i like to thin the second one is correct.

tof what you need to as yourself is WHY does MD have this attitude? attitudes like these are not developed over night, They are developed through 26 tears of rejection by women while everyone around you gets laid a decent amount of time.

scklbad, can you not see how MD's attitude toward women might be the reason he's in this position?

[MD Geist]

If you really wanted a relationship your would ask the "successful" men in your life, "What am I doing wrong?" AGAIN, no one here can tell you since we can't see how you interact with woman. What we can tell you is that if you go into dating with the same attitude you have here then its no surprise that woman are not responding.

 

So go ahead and get advise from all the Pick up artists around me who like to use women? This really proves my awful point that women do like bad boys and really enjoy being used up.