I will be losing my V-card to someone I don't like soon.

[ClarenceRutherford]

Originally Posted by jonny15

And most that aren't saving it for marriage will probably be creeped out if a guy is a virgin past high school.

 

Yea...alot of females may be sympathetic on the board, but in real life, it's deemed weird.

 

 

Not true at all. It is not deemed weird to still be a virgin. I see it as respectful. I didnt lose my virginity until i was older and im glad i waited. People didnt see me as weird, they all respected my decision to not lose it until i was older.

 

I do not believe this is a good idea, sleeping with an escort is not going to solve any problems, it may remove the label of 'virgin' but then you will have a label of 'sleeping with escorts' i know id rather be a virgin.

Well-stated Furbys.

I never knew any woman who thought it was "odd" I wasn't "highly experienced."

No one laughed at me for not having a lot of sex.

And I dated many women.

 

Methinks guys like Jonny and Geist may be interacting with the wrong kind of women.

[ClarenceRutherford]

 

 

Girls can say they'd rather date Virgins but they don't if given the choice between a manwhore or a virgin. I've been turned down before for a guy who's slept with several Prosititutes actually and he's currently in a long term relationship with one girl I tried dating and they seem fine.

 

I just wish I could live my life without a problem but everyday its just becoming annoying that 30 is around the corner and I've barley had my first kiss, felt up on a girl before let a lone have experienced a true intercourse. Most girls will freak if they know that and run away. Its simply "Not normal"

 

I've always wanted to wait for the right one to come along but she never showed up.

Geist,

Am not gonna say I'm not disappointed you're seriously considering the hooker/escort route, considering how much in the past I tried to urge you to ditch that idea.

You do what you want, but in the end, you will end up with regrets.

 

Originally Posted by annie24

 

lol, you all are still debating and MD is probably halfway to the bunny ranch by now!!!!

 

 

If so, I hope he gets one that is big on virgins then. Because he might have a really good time.

Don't count on it being so great.

 

Lemmee give you some insight what happens with casual, NSA sex and ONS....

 

It's an in-and-out kind of deal and goes very fast, particularly for those inexperienced guys who mistakenly think it's a big deal that they end their virginity by some predetermined age.... Like they're "losers" if they somehow haven't taken advantage of a woman by age 25 or 30....

 

You can't tell the other you "love" them as it would seem awkward and a lie.

You hardly know each other, having only met an hour or so earlier.

You may not even know their name.

One of the partners may be intoxicated.

 

In casual sex or patronizing "escorts," you can't do any of the things you'd want to normally do when giving your body and spirit to the other, the things you've long dreamed of doing.

[annie24]

Oh - I definitely think it will be mediocre experience. But it's like eating fast food when you are hungry. Not that good for you but it gets the job done. And of course, he will be hungry again. Maybe he will haveire confidence in himself later? That is the pro in my opinion. I agree that he's probably going after the wrong girls.

[jonny15]

Do people disclose all the information about their previous sexual partners to the person they are with? Who would want to know what?

 

What they don't know won't hurt them.

 

 

And of course he cares what alot of women think. So do I. But why would someone care what a sex worker thinks? Their job at that time would be to rid them of their virginity. Not take them through a therapy session.

[jonny15]

Most prostitutes aren't that pretty, IMHO, or from what I've heard or read.

The real attractive women don't need to go into that degrading line of work...

 

 

I was referring to a high class escort.

 

Many of them are actually rather attractive.

[ClarenceRutherford]

This isn't to say I'm not unsympathetic to Geist and Jonny's plights... I've been there.

I know what rejection is like.

 

Just never had anyone try to intimidate me about my lack of experience, though I wasn't a virgin in my20s (lost mine wayyyyyyyy too early in HS).

I never let anyone belittle me. Get it?

 

And just bec. I got my "I've Had Sex" membership card punched, that didn't decrease the desire any, nor make me any "luckier" with women through most of my 20s.

 

My future spouse did inquire about my past as I did with her (in generalities, not specifics).

Telling:

that discussion came after we had sex 4 mos. into our dating.

And she had a right to ask me. She needed to know what she was "buyin'" after all.

 

She wasn't a virgin and like me, didn't have a lot of experience.

 

So Geist and Jonny, don't get too worried what you'll say if you meet a good gal and she inquires about your experience.

My future wife didn't ever drill me about my dating experience or how many women I'd dated either.

 

If you're really worried, tell her you hadn't met the "right girl" --- until you met her.

You didn't want to waste your love on someone not worthy.

If it's early in the relationship and you're not comfortable disclosing you haven't dated much ( DON'T TALK ABOUT YOUR SEXUAL EXPERIENCE !!! ), just tell her it's too early to discuss such personal matters and that you'll tell her more later.

 

.... if she keeps dogging you about your sexual experience, turn the tables and ask HER about how many guys she's slept with. That might shut her up.

 

Recently counted all the single dates I ever had before meeting my future wife.

Had 24 single dates and 4 GFs (more dates with them) from 16-29.

Pitifully, just a handful of dates in college and the years immediately after.

 

My dating losing streak came to an end when I met my future wife @30.... details I've posted on before.

So virgin or inexperienced men, there is hope for you.

You just need to keep trying and not go the degrading prostitute route.

[annie24]

BEAUTIFUL POST!!!!!!!! Thank you!!

[OptomisticGirl]

Do people disclose all the information about their previous sexual partners to the person they are with? Who would want to know what?

 

What they don't know won't hurt them.

 

 

And of course he cares what alot of women think. So do I. But why would someone care what a sex worker thinks? Their job at that time would be to rid them of their virginity. Not take them through a therapy session.

 

Yes. Many people do. I don't know the nitty details of my husband's past sexual partners but I know how many and I know he doesn't have sex unless their is love involved as well.

 

So with that in mind - that what they don't know won't hurt them - we can apply that to every other aspect of the relationship, correct? If your girlfriend is banging the neighbor as long as you don't know it won't hurt anything, right? Or your girlfriend goes on a $3,000 shopping spree when you really don't have the money - won't hurt because you may not find out about it, right?

 

Mostly because if you have that thought process in your daily life, it doesn't just magically go away when put in every situation. I'm a people pleaser and it doesn't just go away when I meet strangers, I still do it then. My husband can be a sarcatic cut throat kind of guy - doesn't change with who he meets.

[Fudgie]

jonny,

 

I tell my partner about everything that I've done. I personally am okay with nitty details but I am weird, lol. I am fine with offering up details of my own.

 

The only time I really judge negatively is when the guy has done casual sex or has had sex with a prostitute. I don't care if he's a virgin. Actually, bonus points if he is. My boyfriend was a virgin until 21 or so before we had sex. I don't care. It was awesome.

 

Part being in a relationship is being open and honest. It's called emotional intimacy. I don't know why you'd want to sleep with someone who you felt you couldn't open up to and say "Hey, I really care about you a lot and I enjoy our relationship, and since I'm a virgin, I don't have a lot of sexual experience with a partner so I'm understandably a little nervous but I'm eager to take it to the next level with you." Part of being in a relationship is being honest and vulnerable. I'd feel hurt, honestly, if I slept with a guy who lied and said he wasn't a virgin, only to reveal that he was later but didn't want to tell me because he thought I'd leave or belittle him.

 

My thought would not be "OMG you were a virgin! A loser!" No, I would be hurt because it shows how little he trusted me and how little he thought of me, thinking that I would bash him like that.

[Mercurial Girl]

My boyfriend was a virgin until 21 or so before we had sex. I don't care. It was awesome.

 

Jealousssss....my partner slept with one person before me, I wish I got to be the first because I was so darn close to actually being the first! I think he was 21 or 22 at the time as well. He's 27 now and has only slept with the ex and myself (damn her! lol).

[greywolf]

You know what I'm going to argue. I've lost weight, I live 4 blocks from the beach, pay my own bills and such and I'm always working on myself but thats never enough to please a woman because theres always someone else who's better in their eyes. People can say I'm going for the wrong women but what is the right woman?

 

I often do try and make a connection and all I can do is ask her out and if she says no or whatever there's nothing I can personally do.

 

So I've come to conclusion there's no one else coming into my life.

 

My only optians are is to declare myself Asexual, become Gay or Anti sexual. Thats really my only choice up to this point. Id rather just pay for it. Get it done and move on.

 

Losing weight and paying for your own bills is not going to please women alone.

[greywolf]

Why not just be upfront with each other and leave the games and mating rituals out of it?

 

Because most women don't just meet a man and think, "Look at that big hunk. I want to sex him."

[greywolf]

Do people disclose all the information about their previous sexual partners to the person they are with? Who would want to know what?

 

What they don't know won't hurt them.

 

I want to know it. I don't expect details, but a person's past is part of who they are.

[jonny15]

I was referring to be before the relashionship.

 

And I am simply talking about sex,.

 

And since live isn't really a romance novel, love isn't needed for sex. Atleast it isn't for most men.

[jonny15]

jonny,

 

I tell my partner about everything that I've done. I personally am okay with nitty details but I am weird, lol. I am fine with offering up details of my own.

 

The only time I really judge negatively is when the guy has done casual sex or has had sex with a prostitute. I don't care if he's a virgin. Actually, bonus points if he is. My boyfriend was a virgin until 21 or so before we had sex. I don't care. It was awesome.

 

Not everyone wants to know their partners sexual past tho. It can cause problem to if the other person is insecure.

 

Also, I don't see why it's awesome he was a virgin. It's not like it's a big accomplishment.

 

Part being in a relationship is being open and honest. It's called emotional intimacy. I don't know why you'd want to sleep with someone who you felt you couldn't open up to and say "Hey, I really care about you a lot and I enjoy our relationship, and since I'm a virgin, I don't have a lot of sexual experience with a partner so I'm understandably a little nervous but I'm eager to take it to the next level with you." Part of being in a relationship is being honest and vulnerable. I'd feel hurt, honestly, if I slept with a guy who lied and said he wasn't a virgin, only to reveal that he was later but didn't want to tell me because he thought I'd leave or belittle him.

 

My thought would not be "OMG you were a virgin! A loser!" No, I would be hurt because it shows how little he trusted me and how little he thought of me, thinking that I would bash him like that.

 

I never said for someone not to say they are a virgin, I was referring to keeping slient about banging a prostitute.

[jonny15]

I want to know it. I don't expect details, but a person's past is part of who they are.

 

But they don't have to specify much about the person they had sex with.

 

If they had sex with Barbie the escort. She could always become Angie the cute college girl that gave me my first kiss and sexin.

 

How would anyone know different?

[OptomisticGirl]

I was referring to be before the relashionship.

 

And I am simply talking about sex,.

 

And since live isn't really a romance novel, love isn't needed for sex. Atleast it isn't for most men.

 

You can't have 'before a relationship' were you lie and then you get into a relationship and go 'oh, btw, I might have not told you something before we were serious. It very well could impact your opinion on me but at the time, what you didn't know didn't hurt you.'

 

MOST men is the key word in that Jonny. You may not need love for sex but many men do (my husband included). Contrary to popular opinion not every man beds every woman he can and not every woman wants that kind of man. I'd never date a man who had a ONS (with an escort or not) or had been in a FWB situation. Their view on sex is polar opposite to mine and it never would have worked. Sex is great by itself but you add that extra connection of loving that person - God, the emotional aspect makes it 10x hotter and better.

[OptomisticGirl]

But they don't have to specify much about the person they had sex with.

 

If they had sex with Barbie the escort. She could always become Angie the cute college girl that gave me my first kiss and sexin.

 

How would anyone know different?

 

They wouldn't, but if you feel the need to lie then why are you even trying to be in a relationship? Your basing your relationship with that person on a lie. If you already have to think of ways to hide your past from potential girlfriends, don't even try to date. That's completely dishonest and makes you one of those horrible jerks. If that's the life you want to lead go for it. Would you negate information about other aspects of your past? No, because if your lying about this you already know what the vast majority of women are going to think. So then why do something that's going to nearly cut in half your chances of ever being in a LT, serious relationship?

[OptomisticGirl]

Not everyone wants to know their partners sexual past tho. It can cause problem to if the other person is insecure.

 

 

Well that's the other person's problem, now isn't it? If I had met a guy who couldn't handle my number then that was an obvious sign for me he wasn't right for me.

[Fudgie]

Not everyone wants to know their partners sexual past tho. It can cause problem to if the other person is insecure.

 

Also, I don't see why it's awesome he was a virgin. It's not like it's a big accomplishment.

 

I never said for someone not to say they are a virgin, I was referring to keeping slient about banging a prostitute.

 

Well, if someone didn't want to tell me their sexual history (# of partners for example) then I don't think I would feel comfortable sleeping with them. EVERYONE has things that they are insecure about. Heck, I have things too. I have things that I don't necessarily like to tell. However, that is part about being in a relationship, being vulnerable and telling your partner when you're ready. You don't have to disclose on the first date or anything. You can wait. But I do think it's important to feel comfortable with a steady partner to tell them that, even when you feel insecure.

 

Really, if there is something that you can't tell your S.O. because of insecurity, you have to look at why. Is because of your partner specifically, do they make you feel like crap? Then ditch them. However, if they are a GOOD partner and are understanding, caring, and loving towards you, there is no reason not to tell and that insecurity and fear is something you're personally going to have to deal with.

 

I think it was awesome in his case. He had a number of opportunities to lose it. He also dated someone for over 2 years in the past and he could have lost it to her but he didn't. He just didn't feel comfortable and wanted to save it for someone special. So he saved it for me and I am stoked about that. We had a great time together.

[jonny15]

You can't have 'before a relationship' were you lie and then you get into a relationship and go 'oh, btw, I might have not told you something before we were serious. It very well could impact your opinion on me but at the time, what you didn't know didn't hurt you.'

 

You never tell them you've been to an escort.

 

MOST men is the key word in that Jonny. You may not need love for sex but many men do (my husband included). Contrary to popular opinion not every man beds every woman he can and not every woman wants that kind of man. I'd never date a man who had a ONS (with an escort or not) or had been in a FWB situation. Their view on sex is polar opposite to mine and it never would have worked. Sex is great by itself but you add that extra connection of loving that person - God, the emotional aspect makes it 10x hotter and better.

 

That is true, it isn't all of them, just most of them.

 

I don't need love. I'd take someone being attracted to me, and me being attracted to them.

[jonny15]

They wouldn't, but if you feel the need to lie then why are you even trying to be in a relationship? Your basing your relationship with that person on a lie. If you already have to think of ways to hide your past from potential girlfriends, don't even try to date. That's completely dishonest and makes you one of those horrible jerks. If that's the life you want to lead go for it. Would you negate information about other aspects of your past? No, because if your lying about this you already know what the vast majority of women are going to think. So then why do something that's going to nearly cut in half your chances of ever being in a LT, serious relationship?

 

 

Hey...sometimes a little fudging of the truth might be better than the truth. Cause nothing screams attractive quite like telling someone that not only have you never had sex, you've also never kissed a woman, nor come close to have a relashionship with one.

 

Yep, that's the type of truth that will have them standing around the block for a guy.

[OptomisticGirl]

You never tell them you've been to an escort.

 

 

 

That is true, it isn't all of them, just most of them.

 

I don't need love. I'd take someone being attracted to me, and me being attracted to them.

 

Again, if you can't tell the person you want to spend the rest of your life with something, why even get in a relationship with them? That's a dangerous road, IMO. Once you start omitting one thing you start omitting a lot of other stuff.

 

Well, that's you. I can tell you right now sex with love is the hottest sex you'll ever have. I feel sorry for those who never experience that kind of bonding sex.

[jonny15]

I think it was awesome in his case. He had a number of opportunities to lose it. He also dated someone for over 2 years in the past and he could have lost it to her but he didn't. He just didn't feel comfortable and wanted to save it for someone special. So he saved it for me and I am stoked about that. We had a great time together.

 

 

And what if after that, he told you the real reason was because he sucked with women, and you were the only one to actually give him a chance?

[jonny15]

Again, if you can't tell the person you want to spend the rest of your life with something, why even get in a relationship with them? That's a dangerous road, IMO. Once you start omitting one thing you start omitting a lot of other stuff.

 

Why do you have to want to be with them for the rest of your life?

 

I dunno if i'd be ready for that right off the bat.

 

Well, that's you. I can tell you right now sex with love is the hottest sex you'll ever have. I feel sorry for those who never experience that kind of bonding sex.

 

Sorry, love is just chemicals in the brain.

 

Also of people feel it right after sex.

 

Don't some people feel in love after their first time?