I will be losing my V-card to someone I don't like soon.

[annie24]

"successful" doesn't mean pickup artist - it means a guy you know who is in a happy, healthy relationship.

[AMWHOIAM]

women are rough some won't give you the time of day regardless..im 22 and in the same boat either im oblivious too or women are the issue. i like to thin the second one is correct.

tof what you need to as yourself is WHY does MD have this attitude? attitudes like these are not developed over night, They are developed through 26 tears of rejection by women while everyone around you gets laid a decent amount of time.

 

What this guy said +1. Heck, even when I go back to home to NC to visit family and subsequently return to Colorado WITH A POSITIVE ATTITUDE, women STILL treat me like dog crap. I'll say this one more time, myself and the original poster have lived in the SAME city for SEVERAL years and, consequently, have had the SAME results. Don't believe me, read the Colorado Springs Craigslist Rants and Raves board and read for yourselves regarding the amount of sexual frustration which takes place by single guys in this town. Believe it or not, I am NOT a misogynist, but women ARE the problem in Colorado Springs, Colorado. I have NEVER met so many stuck up women in my life as I have in Colorado Springs. Moreover, I should note that I COULD have gotten laid here by a woman that I met online who had recently moved here from Queens or Brooklyn (can't remember which borough though). This chick straight up told me that she hadn't been laid in a while and that was what she was looking for. Being stupid, in my head I told myself that I wouldn't go through with it because I was looking for a gf and not a (you know what) buddy. In retrospect, I should have (literally) jumped on that opportunity.

[MD Geist]

I think we finally have someone else who see's what I see. But I'm in California now and girls want sex like dealerships want a downpayment. Its hard to find a girl that isn't so "Sexual" out here.

[annie24]

I think we finally have someone else who see's what I see. But I'm in California now and girls want sex like dealerships want a downpayment. Its hard to find a girl that isn't so "Sexual" out here.

 

wait, i am confused. i thought you want to find a girl who wants to have sex with you!!

[greywolf]

Maybe you don't see it from our perspective but then again you'd never understand the stuggles we have since you can pick and choice rather than "Hope" to be picked or excepted. And insulting. Please define that.

 

Saying that women don't know what they want and implying that we are only out to use men is insulting.

 

You're right. I can't possibly understand what you have gone through; however, people understanding your situation is not what is going to help you. I'm sure you can find plenty of people who understand the situation that you're in better than I do, but that will not help you get what you want.

[greywolf]

So go ahead and get advise from all the Pick up artists around me who like to use women? This really proves my awful point that women do like bad boys and really enjoy being used up.

 

So guys in happy long-term relationships must be bad boys? Your reasoning is really flawed, MD. =/

[greywolf]

I think we finally have someone else who see's what I see. But I'm in California now and girls want sex like dealerships want a downpayment. Its hard to find a girl that isn't so "Sexual" out here.

 

I don't understand. Wouldn't that be a good thing?

[HeartGoesOn]

MD,

 

Keep in mind that when sex is easier to get, love becomes harder to find.

 

Just some food for thought...

[AMWHOIAM]

I don't understand. Wouldn't that be a good thing?

 

 

greywolf, what MDGeist is trying to say is this: Women in Southern California are VERY open with regards to wanting sex and/or getting laid as compared to women in Colorado Springs, Colorado. However, the problem lies in the fact that, as is the case with myself, MDGeist still maintains his virginity status. Furthermore, MDGeist is also saying that women WOULD sleep with him, BUT women in Southern California do not like and/or detest male virgins which is why he even started this thread in the first place. This leads us to our next question which is this: Why is the OP still a virgin like myself, BECAUSE for several years, he lived in a city which is full of stuck up women who are NOT friendly in the least bit and will NOT give a guy the time of day UNLESS you meet EXTREMELY strict criteria. I can say the following from attending the satellite Colorado University campus in Colorado Springs. Since the University of Colorado at Colorado Springs LARGELY (meanign approx 95%) consists of students who come from the local Colorado Springs high schools, I have made some rather STRANGE observations with regards to women who come from a supposed "city" of half a million people. In order to have even so much as an inkling of hope for being "successful" in the dating arena in this town, you must either A. Be an active duty Soldier OR B. the 20s aged women that we are talking about MUST already know you from growing up with you. If you DO NOT fit either one of these two aforementioned criteria then you are SOL with respect to dating here. In a nutshell, I am saying that, AS IS THE CASE WITH MYSELF, living in Colorado Springs has negatively affected both MYSELF and the OPs ability to experience sex and/or meaningful relationships.

[annie24]

the fact that, as is the case with myself, MDGeist still maintains his virginity status. Furthermore, MDGeist is also saying that women WOULD sleep with him, BUT women in Southern California do not like and/or detest male virgins which is why he even started this thread in the first place.

 

how would a woman know he is even a virgin unless he tells them that?!

[greywolf]

I live in Socal and I know plenty of girls who would have no problem sleeping with a virgin.

[AMWHOIAM]

I live in Socal and I know plenty of girls who would have no problem sleeping with a virgin.

 

I don't dispute this assertion whatsoever. HOWEVER, these women are ALOT harder to find than one might think. Put simply, most women who are in their mid 20s to mid 30s will NOT give a 30 year old virgin such as myself a chance. Again, not saying that these types of women do not exist, BUT it seems that, according to popular American culture, most women expect guys to lose their virginity by age 22 or 23 at the latest.

[scklbad]

m sure there are TONS OF girls who don't fin virginty in men off putting and may even find it arousing but there are 311.6 million people in the us...so 160million women......let's say even 10 percent of those women want virgins.... that's 16,000,000 which sounds like a lot of girls but it's still only 10 percent!!!

[BrianH46]

I don't dispute this assertion whatsoever. HOWEVER, these women are ALOT harder to find than one might think. Put simply, most women who are in their mid 20s to mid 30s will NOT give a 30 year old virgin such as myself a chance. Again, not saying that these types of women do not exist, BUT it seems that, according to popular American culture, most women expect guys to lose their virginity by age 22 or 23 at the latest.

 

They don't know you are a virgin though.... Me being a virgin at 17 did stop me from getting laid nor did I tell or she knew that I was a virgin. I just had a confident positive attitude and she assumed the rest. If you are a woman/self loathing kind of guy woman will assume you are a virgin. Being a virgin or not as no bearing on attracting a woman, once you start having sex and are not experienced; then and only then will it play a role.

 

The rest of the time it usually falls on you, be fun, be happy, and get laid despite your frustrations (which is completely understandable, sex is awesome).

[Wayfara]

WHY does MD have this attitude? attitudes like these are not developed over night, They are developed through 26 tears of rejection by women while everyone around you gets laid a decent amount of time.

 

It's not just rejection, it's rejection coupled with a sense of entitlement. If it was just rejection you would get sad, not angry. The definition of anger is "a strong feeling of displeasure and belligerence aroused by a wrong", so an angry person thinks he is being wronged. How can rejection be wrong if we truly believe in people's right to say no? You only feel wronged if you believe you are owed a relationship so the anger comes from a sense of entitlement. In reality no one deserves a relationship as deserving a relationship would be inconsistent with people's right to say no. I think the first step in stop being angry is to accept and embarce the fact we don't deserve a relationship, it might not feel that fun on paper but it's liberating.

[BrianH46]

It's not just rejection, it's rejection coupled with a sense of entitlement. If it was just rejection you would get sad, not angry. The definition of anger is "a strong feeling of displeasure and belligerence aroused by a wrong", so an angry person thinks he is being wronged. How can rejection be wrong if we truly believe in people's right to say no? You only feel wronged if you believe you are owed a relationship so the anger comes from a sense of entitlement. In reality no one deserves a relationship as deserving a relationship would be inconsistent with people's right to say no. I think the first step in stop being angry is to accept and embarce the fact we don't deserve a relationship, it might not feel that fun on paper but it's liberating.

 

Oh wow that is very insightful, well said wayfara.

[Moontiger]

I find it really hilarious that all the men who can't get any on this thread are blaming woman for their lack of success. Guess what guys, no girl wants to sleep with a misogynist, woe-is-me, I'll-blame-the-world-for-my-problems, kind of guy.

 

I also find it super hilarious that the can't-get-any men seem to think that ALL woman who are sexual active only want bad boys. Since it's unclear let me lay it out for you:

 

1) Yes, some woman over the age of 24 do want bad boys. I would say about 10%

2) Some woman get into relationships thinking they have found a good guy when its really a bad boy. Equals about 30%

3) Some woman get into relationships with good guys but since that woman isn't sleeping with YOU, then he must a bad boy (that last part was sarcasm). 30%

4) Some woman will wait it out until they find what they consider Mr. Right, won't give anyone who isn't the time of day 20%

5) Some woman are gay. therefore you have no chance. That's about 10%

 

OP, you interpretation of my post and use of the word "successful" really reflects your problem. Wallow in self-pity and blame others for your problems all you want. It won't get you anywhere and will just keep turning woman off. Congrats my friend. You are what ever woman avoids like the plague.

[Moontiger]

It's not just rejection, it's rejection coupled with a sense of entitlement. If it was just rejection you would get sad, not angry. The definition of anger is "a strong feeling of displeasure and belligerence aroused by a wrong", so an angry person thinks he is being wronged. How can rejection be wrong if we truly believe in people's right to say no? You only feel wronged if you believe you are owed a relationship so the anger comes from a sense of entitlement. In reality no one deserves a relationship as deserving a relationship would be inconsistent with people's right to say no. I think the first step in stop being angry is to accept and embarce the fact we don't deserve a relationship, it might not feel that fun on paper but it's liberating.

 

Wonderful post. I wish I could give a 100 reps to your for this.

[OnlyException]

No one can tell you what to do, it's your choice in the end. I know for a fact that if it was me, I'd feel a lot worse after. I'm not a virgin but I'm glad I lost it to someone I loved at the time. We aren't together anymore but at the time we were in love and losing it to him made it meaningful and special. There are people who lose it at a young age because they couldn't care less who they lost it to, which is fine but if that was the case you would have done this earlier. Maybe you need to think why you've waited so long to make this choice? What are the reasons that you haven't lost your virginity yet, has the opportunity just not come up?

My current boyfriend is a virgin and I knew this going into the relationship. It makes no difference to me, it actually made me happy knowing that he hasn't been sleeping around like most guys my age. He isn't happy with the fact that he's a virgin and is embarrassed when I bring it up but I don't think it's a huge deal at all.

Just my opinion on the situation, I didn't read through the 25 pages, sorry if I mentioned something that has already been discussed.

[AMWHOIAM]

I'm sorry, but once ANYONE, to include BOTH males and females, becomes a non-virgin then they DO NOT DESERVE to know that they are taking their partner's virginity. Quite frankly, I am a 30 year old male virgin and there is no way in hell that any POTENTIAL future girlfriend will know that I am a virgin. In fact, as I've said before, I FULLY intend to say that I have only had sex ONE TIME ONLY with a mythical former girlfriend who never really existed. I will say that once I had sex with my former girlfriend, that she broke up with me since I was so bad in bed. THIS story will cover my a** 110% and she'll never know the truth. I don't want to sound mean or anything, but I honestly don't think that your bf should have revealed something so personal about himself to you. Again, in my opinion, there is NO non-virgin out there who deserves to know that he or she is taking a virgin's virginity. Put simply, I hold the opinion that the ONLY time in which one should tell another person that they are a virgin is when the other partner is a virgin as well. As soon as you loose you're virginity, YOU HAVE FORFEITED YOUR RIGHT to know when and if you are taking someone else's virginity away from them.

[OnlyException]

I get the feeling you are insecure about yourself and the fact that you haven't had sex at the age of 30. Whereas my boyfriend is completely fine with telling me he is a virgin, he knows that I won't judge him. Once again you mention how you will say you've already had sex, any woman who is a non-virgin will INSTANTLY know you are lying once you can't perform. If you've had sex already, even once, you will have some concept of the act where as a virgin you really have no idea. I don't understand this notion of having forfeited my right to knowing, I didn't ask him, he told me because he trusts me and relationships aren't meant to be built on lies. Honestly, it's your life. If you want to lie to your future girlfriend, go ahead but don't expect it to last very long once the truth comes out. Anyone who lies once, will continue to lie.

[AMWHOIAM]

SERIOUSLY, what makes you think that you are automatically ENTITLED and/or are automatically PRIVY to such information? YOU need to understand that MOST of us who are virgins at age 25 plus are INVOLUNTARY virgins and NOT by choice. That is exactly what has happened to me. You see most young American adults have life handed to them on a silver platter and DO NOT have to face death, getting maimed, and/or killed while in the Marine Corps. Furthermore, there are NOT any single women in the Marine Corps. Moreover, there are NOT any single women in Colorado Springs, Colorado where I currently live BECAUSE there are no less than FIVE military installations here which = Army and Air Force wives galore. I have lived my entire adult life in military towns and it is practically impossible to meet single women in these towns. I didn't get to go straight to college after high school and bang every chick in the dorm like alot of guys get to do. Also, at 30, I am now considered too "old" to date by 21-25 year old women. Remember that when you turn 30 in a few SHORT years! So, now that I have enlightened you with respect to my own situation, do you STILL think that it is fair that I should have to admit this embarrassing fact to any potential future gf? No, it is ABSOLUTELY unfair that I have turned into an INVOLUNTARY virgin and I SHOULD NOT be under any sort of mandate to have to reveal such information.

[sara-pezzini]

this just doesn't make any sense....this kind of thinking will get you nowhere

i was a virgin and upfront about it to my now BF, and i was already 36 when i lost it, so not like i was young either....but i was honest about it and it made it even more special between us and i would rather have a guy who is honest and trusts me enough to tell the truth, that he is still a virgin, than have him lie to me and say he had sex once but was bad at it, relationships are about trust and if you feel the need to lie about this, you will probably lie more, should i ever find out the truth i would be hurt and it would be a deal breaker to me, why lie???? if you must you can just say nothing, but NEVER lie, willingly.......and the forfeited my right to know since i am no longer a virgin now? that is just weird! trust, openess and honesty are what makes a relationship, not this kind of thinking

[sara-pezzini]

btw my brother was also a virgin well into his thirties, but has never lied about it or felt really ashamed about it, why the stigma? not everyone has the option to have sex early on, and he is now married and has a lovely baby, so women DO understand and the way some of you here seem to think about women is just insulting

[OptomisticGirl]

I hope you feel the same way when your potential future girlfriends do not reveal embarassing secrets about themselves.

 

That's honestly a relationship diaster waiting to happen.