Batya33 Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 For most women, that isn't the case: A new report from the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) shows a 49 percent increase in emergency department visits for drug-related suicide attempts for women aged 50 and older. link removed If you're serious about a relationship, finding someone before you're 40 = probably a good idea. I don't think that has any correlation or relevance to what I wrote. Link to comment
browneyedgirl36 Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 Did you meet him through an on line site? Then your meeting was not a date and I don't think even the traditional dating rules apply. I don't think financial security has much to do with generosity or cheapness I know people who have nothing who insist on treating their friends whenever they can and people who are wealthy and will always insist on separate checks or make a point of asking to be paid back the smallest amount no matter how small the expense and no matter what the context. That's not always "cheap" -it might simply be conservative or cautious but having more money doesn't typically affect financial values. I tend to agree with Batya -- I don't see this as a "date" so much as a "first meet," which is a bit more informal than a date. I am a bit surprised at the responses to this. Maybe it's just 'cause I'm old. LOL! Link to comment
katycloud Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 It is the 21st century and I don't think that men should be expected to pay for women. HOWEVER, the fact that he didn't even mention it and that there wasn't even a conversation about it sounds a bit odd? Maybe he was just flustered and forgot about offering to pay or something? I know sometimes I'm too caught up in conversation/someone/nervous and I get all flustered and forget about things like that. Maybe give him another chance and see how it goes Link to comment
im sandra dee Posted October 7, 2011 Author Share Posted October 7, 2011 21 pages? lol PLEASE READ ======== I don't care anymore about paying for my own coffee. I've gotten to know him and we will continue to get to know each other. I will pay my share or treat on future dates because I LIKE HIM! Link to comment
goodfoot Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 21 pages? lol PLEASE READ ======== I don't care anymore about paying for my own coffee. I've gotten to know him and we will continue to get to know each other. I will pay my share or treat on future dates because I LIKE HIM! This is bigger than you now lol Link to comment
Atrium Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 This is bigger than you now lol No actually I think sandra dee sees the bigger picture. People on here are so focused on the little details they overlook what really matters; she likes him. Ok maybe that response was a little too serious lol. Carry on. Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 This is bigger than you now lol lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment
browneyedgirl36 Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 21 pages? lol PLEASE READ ======== I don't care anymore about paying for my own coffee. I've gotten to know him and we will continue to get to know each other. I will pay my share or treat on future dates because I LIKE HIM! Good for you -- I think you should. I honestly think that you can't judge based on just the fact that he didn't pay for a cup of coffee on your first meet. Get to know him. If he turns out to be a miser or a cheapskate, you can figure out what to do then, but...no sense jumping to conclusions yet. Have fun! Link to comment
Ariel85 Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 I honestly think that you can't judge based on just the fact that he didn't pay for a cup of coffee on your first meet. No, you should judge him for using a coupon on your second date. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 No, you should judge him for using a coupon on your second date. I agree. He's obviously very cost-conscious...definitely a plus. Link to comment
Lonewing Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 You should not make any judgements until after sex. Then, and only then, you'll know if he's worth it or not. Link to comment
Ariel85 Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 You should not make any judgements until after sex. Then, and only then, you'll know if he's worth it or not. This thread should be closed after this comment. Seriously. Nothing more to say. Link to comment
Blue Spiral Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 I don't think that has any correlation or relevance to what I wrote. You were saying that relationship prospects got even better for you as you got older. I'm saying that, for most people--women in particular--that isn't the case. Link to comment
DylanNotorious Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 Noooooooooo! Don't close this thread - I LOVE THIS THREAD! Link to comment
MyNinja Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 I like this thread too. There should be a Hall of Fame for certain threads that really have a positive impact where others can learn and take advice.....lol Link to comment
Anthropic Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 Didn't see anyone mention that at least the dude was honest about where the comedy tickets were coming from, he could have easily pretended otherwise. Unless I missed the memo, honesty is still a positive quality. Link to comment
PhilliesFan001 Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 I'm actually really good with my comments, and it is not entitlement. It's called integrity. You're 21. You'll realize all of this in about 10 years. The rest of your post was just all really inaccurate and twisted. Do you really think a man pays for a date because he's selfish or a lap dog? Egads. Out of the mouths of babes... A condescending attitude will get you nowhere. You'll realize that when you're a little older, Ariel. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 You were saying that relationship prospects got even better for you as you got older. I'm saying that, for most people--women in particular--that isn't the case. I think they can improve for anyone who has done work on themselves and anyone who becomes more proactive in a positive way in searching for the right person. That's when the statistics and numbers take a back seat to the "it only takes one" idea. If someone continues to do the same unproductive or sabotaging behaviors (including passivity) then age is almost irrelevant. I think it's really hard to meet someone at any age, I agree that there are fewer single men in their late 30s and up than in their 20s/early 30s, I'm just saying that looking at it totally as numbers as far as relationship prospects is far too narrowminded. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 Didn't see anyone mention that at least the dude was honest about where the comedy tickets were coming from, he could have easily pretended otherwise. Unless I missed the memo, honesty is still a positive quality. It's not about honesty - but choosing to share information. If she had asked him where he got them and he lied that might be a problem (although why would she or should she ask unless she wanted to know what she owed him for her ticket) - but it's his business how he got the tickets and telling someone brand new in your life "oh they're free tickets, want to come" does not give the best impression unless the impression he wants is "look I didn't go to any effort in getting these for us". Why risk that impression? If his point was to make sure she knew they were free so she wouldn't feel badly about him laying out the $ that's another story but that's not why, apparently, he told her. Link to comment
april15 Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 In this circumstance I would cut him some slack. If everything else was ok, let it go. If he asks you out again, be on time, see if he pays, make your judgement. Link to comment
Anthropic Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 It's not about honesty - but choosing to share information. If she had asked him where he got them and he lied that might be a problem (although why would she or should she ask unless she wanted to know what she owed him for her ticket) - but it's his business how he got the tickets and telling someone brand new in your life "oh they're free tickets, want to come" does not give the best impression unless the impression he wants is "look I didn't go to any effort in getting these for us". Why risk that impression? If his point was to make sure she knew they were free so she wouldn't feel badly about him laying out the $ that's another story but that's not why, apparently, he told her. Lying by ommision is still lying. The guy was honest and open (maybe that's a better word) enough to volunteer information that could possibly make him look bad. Maybe he's just dumb, but it indicates to me someone who's not devious enough to lie to impress someone he just met. He could have easily lied and said he'd buy the tickets, or maybe that he was well connected and could get freebies. Anyway, given what little info I have that's the thing I picked up on to over analyze. Glad the OP is going to get to know the guy. Link to comment
Ariel85 Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 Didn't see anyone mention that at least the dude was honest about where the comedy tickets were coming from, he could have easily pretended otherwise. Unless I missed the memo, honesty is still a positive quality. I don't he needed to tell her where they came from. Why not just ask her to the show and be done? Yes, it was honest, but also TMI. I think you're two dates away from, "does this look infected?" Link to comment
im sandra dee Posted October 7, 2011 Author Share Posted October 7, 2011 page 23 now? come on people! I am getting to know him........... the coffee thing is not an issue! Link to comment
DylanNotorious Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 LoL Sandra It's gone beyond you, and now it's everybody's general opinion on the issue. Such a simple thread that has turned so incredibly complex. It's good to debate and have differing opinions on it. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 Lying by ommision is still lying. The guy was honest and open (maybe that's a better word) enough to volunteer information that could possibly make him look bad. Maybe he's just dumb, but it indicates to me someone who's not devious enough to lie to impress someone he just met. He could have easily lied and said he'd buy the tickets, or maybe that he was well connected and could get freebies. Anyway, given what little info I have that's the thing I picked up on to over analyze. Glad the OP is going to get to know the guy. It's not lying by omission because he's not obligated to tell her where he got the tickets unless she asks. Link to comment
.thumb.jpeg.44db4c04df92b9d233296a0149430b4d.jpeg)
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.