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Ariel85

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Everything posted by Ariel85

  1. Ariel85
    I really like the first one because the back lighting is so subtle, yet really dramatic. I paint, and I wish I knew more about photography, but shadowing and lighting is something all good painters have to consider, so I notice this kind of thing. lol Is this a hobby right now, or are you looking to do something professional with it?
  2. Ariel85
    Good girl. You're very talented.
  3. Ariel85
    Your work is gorgeous! Excellent eye! I just caution you from posting your images like this. Without benefit of copyrighting, anyone can steal your images as their own, sell them, and you'd be hard pressed to prove the case.
  4. Ariel85
    Day 23. I feel lonely. And not so much entirely for you anymore. But, I've been good and not done anything to torture myself. I haven't checked your horoscope in weeks, and I haven't checked your activity on the dating site we met on since we split. I find myself going long stretches without thinking about you. Then I realize, OMG! It's been 45 minutes since I thought of you! But, my thoughts are no longer memories, and no longer reconciliation fantasies. It's just random thoughts of what you might be doing and how you are. I want to move on, and I am. And I know I will one day be over you entirely. BUT, you were top 5 of guys, so it's taking a bit longer. So many good things have happened in my life since we split, and I wish I could share that with you. Mainly, that I've gotten my emotional state under control. I'm so much calmer and so much more the one to let things go. I'm sure if we were still together, I probably wouldn't be tweaking as much. Oh, well. I guess that's my takeaway - to get myself well and whole. So, thanks for that.
  5. Ariel85
    Um...here in America, it's called incest, and is illegal. Americans consider being romantically involved with a relative to be pretty taboo.
  6. Ariel85
    Lance - write a really long letter with everything you want to tell her. Then, either email it to your best friend, or read it to someone. Or, post it here. Point is, you need to release it. Whatever you do, DON'T send it to her.
  7. Ariel85
    Day 22. I have given up hope we will ever reconcile. I don't think you will ever contact me again, frankly. This makes me sad. But, at the same time, I stay focused on all the things that sucked about you, and how you behaved. I need to stop glorifying you, because there was MUCH that was wrong with you. So, I'm still trying to move on, and have yet to meet someone who does it for me. It will happen though, I'm certain. In the meantime, I picture you happily snuggled up with some chick that's just as content as you are to have a relationship behind a wall of emotion. Bon chance with that.
  8. Ariel85
    Day 21. And it occurred to me this morning, that you're never coming back. That you don't think of me (fondly) and that you are probably happily dating someone new. I think you've convinced yourself that you're better off without me, and the drama (much of which you caused, but I'm sure you don't see it that way). Even though I'm sure you still think of me from time to time, that you push it out of your head and then bury yourself in some other (rebound) chick. Ech - maybe it's best I stop hoping and planning for your return. The idea is really becoming a fantasy, and not even remotely tangible anymore.
  9. Ariel85
    Day 20. I still wake up every day thinking TODAY could be the day you break through and contact me. I play in my head various reconciliation scenarios. Me waiting days to respond to your text, me asking you why you're contacting me, me acting nonchalant and unaffected, us meeting and me being aloof, me being honest about my feelings, me calling you out on what you did wrong... And then I think, maybe none of this will ever come to pass. 6 weeks since we saw each other, and 3 weeks of NC. I suppose it's possible you've really moved on already. I'm entertaining more guys online as potential dates, but I just can't get into any of them. They're not you. They don't get me like you do, they don't turn me on like you do, they don't make me laugh like you do... Is is possible you feel the same way?
  10. Ariel85
    Day 19. After a few days of feeling I was over you, I woke up this morning and miss you all over again. I just wish you would get your head out of your butt already. Every day is day you could contact me. And every day I wonder if today is the one.
  11. Ariel85
    Day 18. And Im feeling pretty darn good. Even though my weekend plans were spoiled, which was something I was hoping would give me more distance from you, I'm really still OK with things. I still think about you, but you're not haunting my dreams and aren't first thing on my mind in the morning. I've stopped have conversations with you in my head. I can go longer stretches of time without thinking about you.
  12. Ariel85
    LMAO. Perhaps she's a sixteenth cousin, 4 times removed.
  13. Ariel85
    Day 16. Not a good day. I still keep dreaming about you, and it sucks. I wake up thinking about you, and it sticks with me all day. This morning, I actually paid a psychic to tell me what was going with us. And you didn't even show up in the reading. It wasn't until I pressed him on it, and then he asked your sign, and then told me we aren't meant for each other, and went into generic traits of your sign. He was wrong about pretty much everything else, so I'm not sure how accurate he was about you. I mean, how could you not show up AT ALL? He should have seen how I've been obsessed with you since the last time we saw each other, almost 6 weeks ago now. Who misses something that blankets and encompasses a persons day?? Anyhow, part of it did get to me, and I wonder if you are void of thought and emotion for me. How dare you, really? So, I'm still emailing the new guy, but with a lot less enthusiasm. Damn you for having this hold on me still. Oh, one thing the psychic DID say was that I shouldn't give you my power, and I needed to continue moving on with my healing. I'll give him that much.
  14. Ariel85
    Day 15. I am emailing with a new guy on match. And not in a forced way. He's attractive, and funny, and smart. I'm sure we'll have a date arranged in the next few days. So, I'm moving on from you, baby!!!! Yes, I still think of you, but it's not with longing or much desire. It's with more disgust and disappointment. I'm now focusing on everything that is super effed up about you, and why you will make any women miserable, unless she has ZERO desire to emotionally connect with a man and have a shred of real intimacy.
  15. Ariel85
    I did it. Yep, did it today. I hit the wall of no longer sitting around hoping and praying you'll come to your senses. I am sick and tired of dreaming about you, imagining a future, planning how I will react when you contact me. Most of all, I'm tired of WAITING. 5 weeks since you "unintentionally" dumped me, and 2 weeks of NC. So, I'm done. I'm letting go, much as you probably have. I'm no longer holding out hope we will be back together, and now I am working on telling myself all the reasons you are BAD for me, rather than remembering all the reasons you were GOOD. You blew it, and you missed your window of opportunity, pal. Enjoy average. Pfft.
  16. Ariel85
    Day 14. I don't know why people say it gets easier. Each day is progressively harder. MUCH harder. It's like the previous days aches and pains are added to a fresh new day. I am so tired of waking up at 4AM with you on my mind. Then unable to sleep for hours. And it occurred to me this morning, that for the last two weeks, I've been living with this hope that you'd pull your head out of your butt and contact me. And today, I felt for the first time that this very well COULD NOT HAPPEN. You know I am deeply spiritual, and I believe if we're meant to be together, then we will be, and if not, this is why you're being removed from my life. However, why does it need to hurt so much? Why can't I get over you? We didn't date that long, and yet, I'm having a harder time letting go and moving on than I have with longer relationships. I am SO close to breaking NC. I feel that after 2 weeks, if I contact you, it will give me a pulse on where you are at with this. Then I think, no way, girl, don't do it. You texted him weeks ago, asking to meet in person to settle things, and he never responded. So, don't lower yourself and continue to maintain your dignity. Screw him. I'm angry he hasn't come for me. YET.
  17. Ariel85
    Two weeks with NC. Bleh. I wish you would contact me. I ask for that every day. I know in my heart that you are missing me as much as I am you. There is no way we felt the same about each other while together, and you would move on in two weeks. I think you're struggling just as I am. The big question, however, is will you act on your desires? Are you thinking I'm dating someone else already? I regret telling you before we went NC that I was being "pursued" by someone. I hope you're not NOT contacting me for fear of being rejected. I don't know anymore. My head and heart and swirling and twirling in different directions at the speed of light. I just want to be back with you.
  18. Ariel85
    Day 12. I read on here where someone said that after day 15 it gets a lot easier. I dreamt of him last night. Not unusual. In it, he was texting me, though my phone wasn't ringing. Even in my dream it was telepathic. He was telling me he's gone out on a few dates and is trying to move on, but he hasn't gotten too far, and no one is like me. Then there was something in his phone about him watching a lot of porn (lol). I know the dream was me projecting what I think he's doing. Trying to convince himself it's best to move on and find someone with less drama like we had, but then he goes out with these girls, and he's bored silly. Or not turned on. And then I picture him watching his vast porn collection as a substitute. lol I dunno. I suppose he could be dating/screwing, etc. On the way home today, I heard the song with the lyrics, "And I wonder if I ever cross your mind? For me it happens all the time." I just wish I knew.
  19. Ariel85
    This is day 11 for me. The days get harder, rather than easier. I dunno. Maybe it's because I still thought he would contact me last week. When we first broke up, we went NC for 8 days, and then he contacted me. So, 11 days feels like an eternity. I hate not knowing what he's thinking and feeling about me. I miss him terribly. He was the bright spot of my days. Then I think we both need more time apart to see if we really DO want to try again. Chick time vs. guy time is such a different calculation. I regret so many things that happened at the end between us. So much game playing, back and forth BS. Our last contact was me texting me and asking to meet so we could clear things up before we marched on to whatever was supposed to be next. Haven't heard from him since. Part of me kind of wants him to go out and date/screw others, as I feel it will only make him miss me more. Then the other part just wants him back in my arms, laughing with me, smiling at me, making love to me... Whomever said it gets easier each day was full of * * * * . It's gotten harder, and this week was far worse than last. I find myself starting to think of excuses to contact him, but I WON'T. The ball is in his court, and he needs to do some work. I still miss him desperately, and I wish I knew if he felt the same and at all thinks about ever getting back together.
  20. Ariel85
    It means she likes jewelry.
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