Ac143 Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 I agree 100%... right now there is some girl on ena (on the other side of this drama) saying "I don't know what it is, everytime I'm with my bf he turns his phone off or leaves it at home...." I know what else does he have to do? Show up at your house with a chick and ask if its ok to date her too before he gets the boot? THe guy is not ready for a serious relationship with you. He is playing way too many games & for whatever reasons you are letting him. Stay strong dont fall into his trap again. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted October 15, 2009 Author Share Posted October 15, 2009 Im trying its hard. Theres so much good stuff...then this. Link to comment
lavenderdove Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 The problem may be that if he's inexperienced, he's decided he wants to experience other girls. Unfortunately that is his choice, and nothing you can do about it. He may be using you as his 'first love' security blanket, and now he's spreading his wings to other girls. Link to comment
Kaiser_Soze Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 People, including myself, tend to separate things... he/she is great but..... if only.... No, you need to think of him as a package, (i didn't say think of his package, so wipe that grin off of your face...jk) seriously, otherwise theres no limit to what we would accept. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted October 15, 2009 Author Share Posted October 15, 2009 The problem may be that if he's inexperienced, he's decided he wants to experience other girls. Unfortunately that is his choice, and nothing you can do about it. He may be using you as his 'first love' security blanket, and now he's spreading his wings to other girls. I accept that I just dont get why he wouldnt tell me He had the uni experience before...didnt play the field Link to comment
diamond78 Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 I've said it before and I'll say it again.....lies come way too easy for him. If he can lead a double life pretending to have a job where he got fired from, then he can lead a double life in regards to anything! Lying comes way too easy for him and that's a dangerous thing within a relationship. He will not stop lying because he hasn't experienced any real serious consequences for it and I think he's just used to doing it. He may be a compulsive liar or he's up to something shady. He could be with another woman or he could just be a straight-up douchebag... Either way...is it worth you having these anxiety attacks just because he can't do something simple like pick up a phone or type you an e-mail to let you know what's going on?? Link to comment
Kaiser_Soze Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 He is making a strong statement to you about his feelings for you and your level of priority in his life... and sweetheart its deafening, the sad thing is thats the BEST CASE SCENARIO! Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted October 15, 2009 Author Share Posted October 15, 2009 Thing is on saturday I Told him it was over because he switched his phone off on me, he literally cried and begged...why would he do that? wouldnt that have been his opportunity to escape? Link to comment
Kaiser_Soze Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 He's not looking for an escape... he gives you just enough to keep you. Says what you need to hear, when you need to hear it. His actions scream that he is seeing someone else, possibly in a relationship with someone else. When someone is everything to you, you don't duck and dodge them, you don't make up extravagent lies to cover your story, you don't need a story. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted October 15, 2009 Author Share Posted October 15, 2009 Why would he ask me to move in if he was cheating? Link to comment
greywolf Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 Why would he ask me to move in if he was cheating? blue, there's something I have learned about break ups. Do not try to analyze everything they do. You will not figure it out, you will never understand it, and it will only lead you to frustration. you just have to accept that people do things that you can't understand, and leave it at that. Link to comment
anggrace Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 Just because he cried and begged for you, doesn't mean he's an honest person. It was probably his guilt making him cry. I hate liars. Link to comment
diamond78 Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 Why would he ask me to move in if he was cheating? Girl, if I could tell you some of the things my Ex said to me while living with another woman (which I didn't know about) it would make your head spin!! I honestly don't know if your guy is cheating or not....It's not even relevant at the moment. One thing we do know is that he is not trustworthy. You can't trust a person who would pretend to lose his phone just to use as an excuse to not contact you. Bizaare and very uncaring in my eyes... Link to comment
Ac143 Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 Of course he cried! That's so typical of a liar or cheater or just a straight up douchbag. He wants the best of both worlds & he is getting it so why would he want to leave you? & its not really about him leaving you at this point...its about YOU getting your head on straight, realizing this guy is treating you poorly & standing up for yourself and what you deserve. Which is WAY more then he will ever offer! Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted October 15, 2009 Author Share Posted October 15, 2009 I dont trust him. Your right. It may be stupid lies...thing is WHY ignore me we hadnt even argued? Link to comment
JeckyllNHyde Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 BAG, I know that there's alot of good times TOO aside from all this stuff he's pulling. But ask yourself if all THIS is worth those good times, as well as all the doubt you have in the back of your mind about him when things are good. I simply wouldn't trust a liar. Let alone want to spend my life with them or give them the most vulnerable piece of myself: my heart and trust. It's so easy to lie without being caught, and looks like he's well aware. I wouldn't go so far as to say he may be cheating, BUT it is a possibility considering his strange behaviour of suddenly turning his phone off numorous times. Does he ever give an explanation about what he does when he switches it off aside from "cooling down"? Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted October 15, 2009 Author Share Posted October 15, 2009 He just says hes rubbish at communicating and likes speaking face to face. I dont think hes cheating. He wouldnt ask me to move in BUT I do think hes manipulating me... Link to comment
diamond78 Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 I dont trust him. Your right. It may be stupid lies...thing is WHY ignore me we hadnt even argued? You know at first I thought maybe something weird did happen with his phone.....until he made up the lie about the library closing. So, let's pretend for a second that he really did lose his phone....why would he then have to pretend that the library is closing while letting you know he lost his phone?? If his actions were innocent he wouldn't need to lie about something so minor. Link to comment
Ac143 Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 I had an ex ask me MANY times to move in & he cheated on me MANY times that I didn't know about until we broke up. Just cause he asked you to move in doesn't mean squat. Words mean nothing when they are followed up with his actions. Im not saying he is cheating, Im just saying dont read sooooo much into what he says. Watch his actions. Link to comment
JeckyllNHyde Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 He just says hes rubbish at communicating and likes speaking face to face. I dont think hes cheating. He wouldnt ask me to move in BUT I do think hes manipulating me... But how the heck does he want to talk things out or communicate when you guys are LDR and CAN'T be face to face? And AC143 has a point about moving in. Either way.. manipulation is a bad sign. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted October 15, 2009 Author Share Posted October 15, 2009 I really dont get any of this. We were getting on great. Thought I'd resolved it. Its so stupid to lie over something so small. Why not say? I was in a mood or stressed so i didnt pick up, why make elaborate fantasies? Link to comment
CoCo2009 Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 Why would he ask me to move in if he was cheating? To make you believe that he really must care and he can't be cheating because he asked you this. He has you right where he wants you thinking that he couldn't be doing anything wrong because he asked you to move in and he mentioned saving for a ring. He is VERY manipulative. My ex boyfriend did this all the time. Turned his phone off for days and then said he lost it, or it was dead. Why would a phone RING if it were dead? He would just hang up the phone and turn it off for DAYS... I would be dying inside calling and calling, and running over to his house to beg him for forgiveness when HE was the one in the wrong. Now that I look back I realize I was looking the other way trying to protect myself from being hurt. In the end it hurt anyway. You will be okay in the end just take care of yourself girl *hugs*. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted October 15, 2009 Author Share Posted October 15, 2009 Literally dont have a clue how to deal with this or what to believe. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted October 15, 2009 Author Share Posted October 15, 2009 THank you Link to comment
CoCo2009 Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 You're welcome! You know my story! lol it still hurts sometimes but blah such is life. Link to comment
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