Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[Starrgrl]

I kinda really wanted to talk to you last night but I'm glad that I didn't end up making that mistake.

I miss you.

My sleeping cycles are still screwed. Hope that will pass soon.

How have you been? You tell me I'm making you go crazy... They're just words though. =( Empty words.

But I guess I'm glad my absence is affecting you alittle.

My heart is still in a really fragile condition. I just need to heal.

Scars do fade though right? Albeit numerous and deep, they do eventually don't they?

I'd like to believe so.

[little_buttercup]

Dear ex, I still love you...even though my friend wants to punch you in the face.

[LizzieD]

I'm here again. There are some funny stuff that R & I are talking about that reminded me of you. You're like brain tumour, it's there, probably benign or malignant but until there's a proper drill made to my head, it's going to stay as it is, a tumour.

 

I remember how you reacted when we first got together. You spaced out often and yelled at me for no reason. Now, I spaced out when R was making a conversation. I don't yell at R but I do picked up a fight with him. LOL. You know how very civilized I am when I'm fighting/arguing.

 

I guess, this is the transition between the ex and the current guy time.

 

R spent the day at my place today while I was at work. I came home, he's there with Dominos Pizza (what a surprise!!!) and after he went home, I noticed something written under my to-do list on the whiteboard:

 

1) Buy dishwasher liquid

2) Buy concealer

3) Patience

4) Peace

5) Happiness

 

He wrote #3-#5. And I cried. I don't know why. It just brought tears to my eyes.

 

I am making a silent vow that I will be more patient. Even if things don't go my way.

 

M, we're both over and done with. There are things I regretted not doing with you. Especially that night that I promised I'd give you a massage after our hiking trip. I regretted that day until now. That was the night that I chose to lock myself in another room. That was the night that I hear my heart saying "This will be the end of our relationship". Our relationship, as proven, can't go past your past.

 

My life now is with R. I need to focus on him now, okay, Mark? I am sorry that things had ended between us. But I'm not sorry that I get to meet R after my devastating breakup with you.

 

Remember when you said to yourself that you were supposed to be in US, get divorced, sent to train us and meet me? Right now, I am appending my history as "supposed to be in *****, met you, broke up, headhunted to a new company and met R".

 

So, now, Mark... I am here, writing this to you. Please just go away. Go away from my mind. Like I told you before "You'd be thousand times happier without me". I gave you the freedom you wanted.

 

Now, give me the freedom that I wanted.

 

Free my mind, my thoughts from your memories.

 

Let me go, Mark.

[Yostina]

You lied to me. Why did you do this to me? How could you walk away like you left nothing behind? What about me? I'm just nothing to you. You are the one to blame. You are the only one to blame for all the hurt I'm in. I'm suffocating...

I started to hate you, and I want you to know that I will never forgive you. Never...

You don't deserve me, you're not worth my heartache, you're not worth my tears, you're not worth my love for you.

I loved you unconditionally, I gave you my all, I put my trust in you, I was blind when it comes to you, but you shattered my heart in return, and I still can't get the pieces of me back together...

 

I tried hard, but I just can't forgive you...

[C_Unknown2005]

you, know how i feel and you know what i want and yet you want to play mind games with me... If you loved me then this would all not have happened.

[LizzieD]

I think I overly romanticized our relationship before. You weren't romantic. Heck, you even threw the chocolate heart-shaped box in the fireplace. In front of me. Even if it's empty, you just can't do that especially because I bought it for you and I meant it.

 

You are a figment of my imagination. I mean, seriously. Think about it. What was your most romantic gesture? Flown over to see me? Yeah, okay. That was from your AirMiles and I had to pay for your food and everything else when you're around. You had it easy.

 

So, no. I am not going to spend my time reminiscing my memories with you because they aren't real. They are overly romanticized and I am sick from thinking about you.

 

You're right. 5 weeks in real life is nothing as we spent the rest of 6 months in LDR.

 

You're a fake. You're a guy created by my imagination to be whoever you are. What we had wasn't even real.

 

I am giving R a real chance. I am giving myself a real chance of happiness.

 

REAL.

 

You are not real. You were never real.

 

This thing I have with R is real. Every day. Every single day.

 

R is Real. You, Mark, isn't.

 

Now, I get it. Now, I know why the thoughts of me never crossed your mind. Because it was never real!

 

I am starting to live in this moment. Right now. I want to make R & I work. He loves me. And you never had.

 

p/s: Putting red flowers on her hair doesn't make her looking any less retarded.

[biggestdork]

Hi M.

Thank you so much for the birthday wish. It set me back a little bit. I was going to completely cut you off if you didnt contact me, but you gave me just enough to hold on.

 

However, this time it will be different! I will no longer wait for you. I will no longer want you. I will see you as nothing more than a friend. I will be able to look back at the memories of our times together and feel like Ive spent them well. I will be where I want to be in life and you will only be another chapter. I will not hold on to the past any longer.

 

Thank you for everything M. I hope you will be able to see me and respect me for who I am once again. I will be happy for whatever good comes to you. I will not hold grudges. There will be no jealousy. There will be no vengeance.

I hope our friendship will better us.

I hope that this is the new beginning and that it was not a mistake to let you back into my life.

Love,

D.

[bart]

I dreamed about you for the first time in months. You were trying to kill me, but instead you ended up dead. Weird.

[bebs87]

You broke up with me... I got hurt... But I am better... But now, I'm kicked out of the nursing program.. Wow, my life is awesome..... I miss you... I don't know, my love for you is fading... I think...

[Starrgrl]

An illusion, that's what we were. Just a big fat lie. Still finding it difficult to accept that as fact.

[manicdogbert]

I've been getting along fine without you. I still think about you. And cry about the break up. But doing NC is really helping me. I'm hoping that I can stick this out until I am healed.

 

But I do miss you. I can't deny that.

[whosnext]

I contacted you for the last time today. I had to bow out gracefully, not with anger and bitterness. I cared about you more than any other girl and all I got in return was neglect, abuse, and coldness. I'm better than trying to inflict the same pain on you as you did to me. I tried to do that earlier last week, but I've done my best to correct it so I can hold my head up high when it's all said and done. Doing the opposite is pointless, it won't make you come back or care any differently.

 

Sometimes I wonder how long you have been out of love with me. I know it's been a while. When I noticed you distancing yourself from me last semester, I should have broken up with you then. When you stopped wanting sex and intimacy, I should have given you the boot. Instead I held onto a fool's hope. How silly of me. Lesson learned: I will look after myself as well in my next relationship.

[AutumnBorn]

Hey, Loser Face! I knew you wouldn't show up at curriculum night. You couldn't care less about our daughter's education. What you missed out on is hearing how fantastic she's doing. You should have heard about how great she is in the AP statistics class, the cool projects she's going to be working on, and how her advisor said she should be doing 2 hours of homework each night and what she needs to work on. You took the time out to cruise the personal site you use, but none to meet with your daughter's teachers. Loser Face, indeed. Try using your BIG head instead of your little one.

 

You also missed my incredible shortbread cookies (I was asked to bake for the auction) and how hot I looked in my new dress and boots. Maybe that's why you didn't show - you hate eating your heart out when you see me.

[everybodyknows]

pms monster came out and reared its ugly head. so many tears today. its just not right. i feel like i'm regressing and i just need someone, anyone to just check on me and pull me out.

[Nick_t]

NC is helping, but I just hope you remember me for the good boyfriend I was, the memories we shared and the good times we had, and not remember me as the person you last saw - the man that was angry and just wanted to move on as quickly as possible because he was hurting. I hope you respect that I'm letting you go because I love you, and I'm not trying to hold you back because I'm no selfish, I hope you still think of me and when the dust settles you will think back and remember me as someone that just wanted you to be happy.

[honesttoblog]

You led me on ever since I was 13 convincing me that I was all you ever thought about, to quote you 'you're all I think about a night- I have bad dreams about you and good dreams of you and me' together, I wake up and think about 'you, I come into school and see you and then when I get home I think about you. I live, breathe and think about you all the time.' You told me' that you didn't care what your parents thought about me' and you'd never let go of me because I meant that much to 'you, you held my hand in public and hugged me' till I felt safe again, but yet 'you lied to me. You ' * * * * * ed' about me behind my back to other people, especially her. You were so in love with her you never stopped to realise and you used me as a backup for when she didn't want to know or if she was too busy to talk to you. You turned her against me- she was my best friend since I was 11 and we lost our friendship because you came in-between us forcing us to have to pick. Then on that day before she left to New Zeland you kissed me and convinced me' that I was the one for you and we spent 6 months together- I was too caught up in' you while you turned me against my best friends, telling me that they didn't understand us and they'd never understand that we were meant to be with each other. Then she came back from New Zeland and you told me that we 'couldn't be together because she would get upset and feel left out'. You were the first person I ever gave my heart to and you broke it into pieces. Then a couple of months after she came back you reeled me back in again saying that you missed talking to me- and I wasn't over 'you so how was I supposed to say 'no leave me alone!' so I came back to you but 'you didn't want to be in a relationship but yet you continued to flirt with me and confuse me'. So I got my first boyfriend and even if he was a complete idiot, he loved me for the three months we were together- but you insisted that I only liked him because it 'gave me something to do' and that if I had a hobby I wouldn't need him. Then he cheated on me and dumped me via text, and I ran to you first and hid in your arms- just because I didn't see the triumphant smile you gave doesn't mean that my best friends wouldn't tell me. The my best friends amazingly took me back after the way I'd ignored them for you but 'you tried to ruin it for me again by being completely nasty to them and bullying them and continuously dragging me away from them convincing me I didn't need them- at the time you knew I'd give them up in a heart best for you, but when I asked you to leave her and come back to me 'you shouted and argued with me saying that it wasn't fair. You knew I loved 'you and you convinced me 'you loved me' and yet you just sat there using me for her. So then last year when I finally broke down and told you that I couldn't take it anymore and I wanted you to pick between us, you chose her. After always telling me I was 'the one and you'd die if I ever left you etc you chose her. Then last week after months of silence and me slowly moving on and pretty much being completely over you, and talking to her- finally getting back the friendship we lost- you decide to talk to me again- and kiss me' on the cheek! Why. Just why. My best friends want to kill 'you for coming near me again and I have to sit there convincing them not to start a fight with you at school- because a full on girl fight would be terrible. I don't want to hurt you even though I hate 'you with every part of me' because you hurt me so badly. I deserve much better than you. You made me so confused and I've only finally admitted to myself that I'm bi. Stop coming back to me, leave me alone and let me move on.

[Starrgrl]

You're online right now. I finally signed in after 3 months. I can't talk to you. I can't. But.

Sigh. I need to shut off my heart.

[Live-N-Learn]

You want friendship now...a close friendship. You tell me I am so special to you but when things changed you did not tell me. You continued to allow me to buy you drinks and take you out but stopped sleeping with me. The only way I found out is because I asked. Yes you said you were sorry but I am not sure that is enough. You knew how I felt and were selfish. Why didn't you tell me? That is what I want to know. I feel used and disrespected. You should have told me. Not sure I can keep you in my life. Though I care a lot about you..what you did may have been just too much.

[manicdogbert]

I don't know why I'm writing this. Just to release my emotions/feelings, I guess. It's been about 5 days now since I've seen you. I think I'm actually doing alright. This "no contact" thing seems to be working and allowing me to heal. I don't have to worry about seeing you and being reminded of our relationship. It makes it easier to let go. I'm not feeling the pains that I thought I'd be feeling. Yet. Although I don't think I'm suppressing anything either. I feel that I'm going about my day. Yes, I think about you. But I don't feel "hurt" or "pain". I find myself crying when I listen to Before the Morning. The part that really hits home is when Josh Wilson sings, It's just the hurt before the healing. But I think I'm doing alright for now. Trying to stay busy even if I have been doing things on my own.

 

I have been thinking about what would have been our 7 year anniversary. How could I not? It's on Halloween. I feel that I should go out that night. But it's a Sunday and I don't want to be tired for work the next day. If we were together, that probably would have been my plans anyway. I'm not like you and I don't feel the need to celebrate something just because everybody else does. I guess that's a good thing about the break up. I can do whatever I want now without having to worry about you getting all humpty about it.

 

I still miss you. I'm not going to lie. But this was for the best. I'm starting to think that it may not even be possible for us to be friends in the future. After all the healing. I will still be open to the possibility. But really, apart from sex and Hawaii, what else would we have in common? I'm realizing that even though we made our relationship work throughout the years, it wasn't truly what I wanted either. You dropping me off at the record shops to go shopping elsewhere. Me dropping you off at the camera shop to go elsewhere. What kind of relationship is that? We had some intimate moments together, I know. But I now that we are not a couple, I want to find someone who can at least enjoy some of the things I enjoy and not just for the sake of me. To geniunely enjoy what I enjoy. I do wonder if I will ever find that person. Well, I guess I'm going to find out in the future.

 

I hope you're doing well so far. I'm hope you are taking care of yourself and dealing with the break up positively. I hope you're not denying your feelings. You should at least do yourself that favor. I'm only concerned because I know how you can be and I don't want you to repeat our relationship again. But I do wish you well. I don't know if/when I will see you again. It would be nice just to see what effect it will have on me. Hopefully, I will be over everything and will be able to see you strictly as a friend. But I guess I can't expect anything really. I can only hope that I will be healed.

[ycmanvs]

I am going away for 2 weeks. We have not spoken in almost 3 weeks. I am not sure if I will ever hear from you again. I must be strong and move on.

[hairybda]

i am missing you so much today. i dunno why... i have not felt really anything about you all day.

 

when i walked by that sushi place we went to before.. i started thinking about you sleeping with another guy from telus, while we we married. i think i must have known then. no wonder i stopped buying you anything. you were so distant.

 

i am at my new job, missing you.. and all i can think about is how you cheated with 3 guys on me. while we were in thailand you getting that message from your teacher. talk about * * * * ed up.

 

i don't know why i care. you treated me like total garbage

[Yostina]

Today, and within a second, I was about to call you. Thank God I didn't. I would've looked pathetic.

Lately, I've been having the urge to contact you, but when I imagine myself doing that I freak out and step back!

Why don't you make any move? Anything? Did you get over me that easily? Why can't I see any attempts from your side that could at least show me that I meant something to you? That you were real and true to me?

 

In my heart of hearts, I'm begging you to reach out to me, but in reality I can't start being needy again. Help me hang in. Do something, please. Prove it wrong and that you never were fake for once to me.

 

I miss you so much, and I wish I could get you here by my side right now at this moment. Sigh

[OneBrightStar]

I wish we could just sit down and talk. There's still a little bit of hope left in my heart that we'll work out.

[Philabonia]

School has helped to take my mind off of things during the day, but some nights, I miss you so much that I cannot not think of anything other than holding you again. Other times, I am so angry at you for how you handled everything that I wish we had never happened. I find myself avoiding the reality of it all, simply to dull the pain. But, the passions are starting to subside, and I am left with what lies below the surface. It boils down to the fact that I still really do care for you. After everything that we have done to one another, I still think about you with love in my heart – I realized I have always felt this way, yet I was simply blinded by other things to realize what was important in my life. Call it immaturity, call it taking a good thing for granted, whatever– for once, I am not trying to get you back, but being honest with myself.

 

Let me say that I do not regret what happened to us; I feel that, in the predicament we were in at the end, something as drastic as your email needed to happen. I needed to change, not only for extrinsic purposes, but for myself. I was in an odd funk, where I felt like I had so many people expecting so many things out of me that I couldn’t be or do what I wanted. I felt 40 far before I should’ve. I wasn’t happy, and I took that out on you. I did not mean to nor did I even realize it at the time, but misguided intentions mean peanuts in the long run. It’s a shame that it took something like this for me to realize how wrong I was, and how much you really did mean to me, but I guess everything happens for a reason. I do wish we could’ve gotten that second chance your email spoke of; I do believe I could’ve been so much better than what I was, simply because I knew where I had gone wrong in the past. Unfortunately, it seems you have no interest in reconnecting with me, and that is ok; I have long since accepted that you have moved on, and you were emotionally gone long before you physically left. Though it has been hard for me to understand just how you accomplished such a feat, I have ceased trying to figure all my questions out, and have simply accepted what is. Hopes become dreams, and time has a funny way of making you forget what you even desire. Now, I only wish you happiness in your new start; I had some of the greatest moments of my life with you, and I can only hope that you find someone that makes you realize your own joy in the way you did me. I really did appreciate every moment we spent together; you were the biggest piece of the greatest part of my life so far. You helped me get to where I am, and you made me realize who I wanted to be; I cannot thank you enough for that.

 

Part of me wants to try and keep in touch, but, as circumstances are, I do not think that will be possible. Your lack of interest, though understandable, is painful for me. As much as I have “moved on,” and gotten over what happened, the fact remains that I do care a great deal about you. I always will. I’m not sure that is something you get over, but merely overlook as time adds new layers. So, unless you would like to talk about things or maybe be friendly instead of communicating through this cold cordiality, I cannot see us being part of each other’s lives, as much as it breaks my heart. No matter what happens, know that I do love and care about you; I’m not telling you this to be coy or chivalrous, but to let you know that at the end of the day, someone loves you. What more could one person ask out of another in this life? Its simple things like that which comforted me when things got dark. Maybe one day you can find solace there too. I wish you well babe – I hope you find what you are looking for.

Take care.

 

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This is what I want to send you; Instead, I simply call and leave a voice mail, asking about whether you put the check in the mail. Is this what we have been reduced to? I really do hope you're happy (not saying that sarcastically) - if you are, then good; if you are not, then stop treating me like I killed your dog.

[Starrgrl]

You are an absolute coward. I feel sorry for you.