bart

You're still the exact same. It never would've worked.

I dreamed about you for the first time in months. You were trying to kill me, but instead you ended up dead. Weird.

She wants you back, and you'd rather die than be alone..so you'll take her.

Once again, why did I do that to myself?

Sometimes I still think it's you.

So, you contact me the day your relationship with her ends. Well, I'm not a backup-plan, sorry!

Why did I do that.

Remember when I sung "You're So Vain" to you? Let's just say it wasn't because I liked the song.

Haha, my ex said these exact same words.

You said move on, where do I go?

Went to check my email and saw I had a message from you. Four months NC, and now an email. I opened it, and it was just a virus. Did make my heart stop for a second though.

I got a flat tire today. I sat in my car and cried for about 20 minutes. It felt good. I think these were tears I'd repressed and needed to let go.

I have to admit, I'm glad she's brunette.

I can't remember the sound of your voice. It's so weird.

Lately when I think of you it's only for a couple minutes maximum. But today thoughts of you kept popping up. It was so horrible. I thought of the things you said to me in our final conversation, and how you were so, so mean. But I could so vividly remember what you said..and this one phrase really stuck out, and it still stings today..4 months later. When I think back on it..it's clear that you never loved me. You thought you did, but moving on in 3 weeks is impossible if you truly loved someone. You just love the idea of being in love, you don't care who it's with. Well, you can go to hell.

I thought of you for a few minutes last night. I went to bed late, and when I looked at the clock I automatically calculated the time difference and what time it would be where you are. I don't know why. It used to be such a habit, but I haven't done that in awhile. I felt really sad, and memories of you flooded my thoughts. And then it was over. Though you entered my thoughts quickly, you were out just as fast. Progress!

Classes for fall semester start today. It feels so weird going alone.

About to watch some film about planting a chip in yourself that works like a timer and leads you to your soulmate. Let's see how this goes, hahaha.

I thought this new job would help me get over you even faster. I'm busy all day and I'm making new friends. But..it's boring, and it only leaves me tired and moody and wanting to come home and talk to you so you can make me feel better. But when I get home..you're not there. And it's the worst feeling ever. And today is the first time I've cried over you in over 2 months. I hate this.

I found so many bargains at the bookstore today. I used to come home and show you each book and tell you how much it cost, I guess I was just excited. I don't think you ever shared my love for books.

I've been thinking about timing and you and all these 'what if' questions. I feel disappointed in myself for letting thoughts of you get me down today. I've been doing pretty well lately. I wish you would contact me..just so I could have some proof that I meant something to you, not to actually respond to it. But you won't. You have a distraction, a new girl in your life. You are fine. I'll get to that point, too. It just hurts now. I feel extra lonely today, I just want someone to talk to.

Just got real teary-eyed.

I have a dentist appt in half an hour. I hate the dentist, and used to vent to you about having to go. The last time I went to the dentist was the same day we had our first break up. I should've ended it then, and not come back to you. I'd be over you by now.

Had the most terrifying dream about you, feeling a little freaked out.