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Took a road trip today with the family. I remember every time I'd come home from one of those I'd talk to you for hours, and we'd be so excited to talk because we missed each other so much. And usually on those road trips I would think of you every minute. On the way home today, I felt a little pain as I remembered this. But it quickly went away. I only thought of you once on a 6 hour road trip with no possible distractions. I guess I am moving on.

Hahahah, I love this!

I'm going to bed now, soo much better than when you forced me to stay up til 4 a.m. all the time.

I'm gonna go see that extremely stupid looking Mark Wahlberg & Will Ferrell film. I know you remember how much I love Mark, and I hope advertisements for this film play 24/7 so every time you see him you think of me. (: Sufffffer.

I still want to know what you're up to. But I already know. I know you're out with your new girl doing the same things we did. I know you're repeating the same stories and little tid bits over and over again. I know you're trying to distract yourself as much as possible. I know you're playing Xbox 24/7. I know all of your housemates still hate you, and I know your life is incredibly boring without me. I know you, and I know your day to day routine hasn't changed. So why the HELL can't I get this urge to check your FB to go away!?!?

I wish your new girlfriend would drop dead. Actually I wish all the girls, boys, and any living thing around you would drop dead, that way you'd be completely alone and couldn't be distracted by others. I wish you had NO support system, and actually had to DEAL with your feelings rather than just get a new girl. You'd be forced to think about me/our break up/how you treated me and you'd have to experience and deal with the same pain I feel each day. My wish will never come true, but I hope one day that you really suffer.

I've been having so many dreams of me breaking NC and you being just as cruel to me as the last day we spoke. These dreams suck because I end up thinking about you more, but they also reveal that I shouldn't break NC. That's good, because I never intend to.

Seems like I need to do this challenge too.

I'm so mad at myself for checking your Facebook and making myself feel bad after plenty of good weeks. Ugh.

I hate you.

Had a dream that I broke NC. That will never, ever happen in reality. Thank God it was just a dream...or should I say, nightmare?

I feel good today. I've been out of the house, and I'm leaving again later. No matter how much fun I have, or how little I think of you when I'm busy, I always think of you when I return home. It's like I can't avoid it. All day I'm fine, but when I come home the first thing I do is get on ENA, and start thinking of you. On the plus side, I don't cry over you anymore. My memories are fading, and I'm allowing them to go. I don't want you anymore.

Haha, I'm kind of glad I'm not the only one. It helps knowing that I'm not the only person dealing with this kind of break up.

If you had just told me how you were feeling we could have worked it out like we always did. Instead, you gave up on the relationship, but you were too much of a coward to end it with me. So I had to end it, and having to live with that kills me. Why would you do this to me? How could you? You said you loved me. I guess you lied. You told tons of people that I broke up with you, which is true, but you didn't tell them that I was forced to do so. You received all the pity, and all the attention that you constantly yearn for. You even got a new girlfriend a couple weeks after our split. You made me feel so guilty for ending things, yet I'm the one whose suffering. Your actions are those of a dumper, while I'm actually feeling what a dumpee goes through. I hate that this is switched. I wish you could feel what I'm feeling.