THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[kamelia]

I understand you completely, I had it the same. From the beginning I was the one who was distant and he was pursuing me. But then it changed because I wanted something more serious and he wanted the things to stay the same. Now I am very sorry that I appeared to him as a needy person, while I was just unhappy with the situation and wanted to move things forward. And I know it´s so hard to maintain no contact but believe me, you can heal your heart much more easily if you do. It´s not about him to come back (even though it might happen) but it´s also about you moving forward with your life. Believe me, forget about him. If it was so easy for him to forget about you, he isn´t worth your time. Maybe if you focus on maintaining nc for another month, it will give you a sort of a plan and after that you can decide if you really want to contact him or not. Also you could use this time to focus on making your life better, doing what you always wanted to do, start a new hobby... I hope this helps...

[kamelia]

Day 10 of NC.

 

I have had high ups and downs today. One minute feeling happy and not missing him at all and then feeling very sad and lonely. I don´t know why I have it like this. I always have to think about things I did wrong in the relationship and it´s torturing me. I´m always wondering what he feels, if he misses me and if he has already found somebody else. It´s so hard but I know that I wouldn´t be happy with him if we stayed as we were. Something had to change. I wish it was easier and if I knew what he´ll do after this one month of no contact, I could prepare myself for it and already start getting over him if he doesn´t care about me.

[Kayley]

I dreamt about him last night. I've not dreamt about him since the week after the break up & it's been 6 weeks now.

 

In my dream he got in touch but only wanted to be friends. We met up & had some sporadic contact between which was upsetting the me in my dream.

 

Woke up feeling fine, few hours later and now all I want to do is contact. I won't do it but I miss him a lot right now.not the relationship, just him, just talking to him.

 

I don't understand why he doesn't miss that.

[kamelia]

Day 11

 

Today I had a sudden urge to reach out. It was after one guy called me and he told me he was thinking about me all the time and that he wanted to move things forward between us but I only see him as a friend. After that call I had to install my messenger app again (because I uninstalled it so that I wouldn't be able to check my ex's online status on fb, I know I was supposed to unfriend him but I just can't do that yet). So anyway I had this urge to contact him and it was sooo strong but after seeing him online I calmed down. I know it sounds stupid but that's how I felt it.

 

Kayley, I'm so happy that you didn't contact your ex either. I'm sure he misses you too but for you it's better to keep no contact so that you can get over him if he doesn't reach out...

[Kayley]

Thanks, I'm feeling a lot better now. Had a very down today but tonight I feel a lot more like the old me....I know it probably won't last, I'm not far enough into healing for that but I'll take these moments and be glad for them when they come

 

I'm glad you didn't contact your ex kamelia, I know what you mean. Unfriending is hard, I done it on day 8 after the break up right when I went NC but you'll do it when you're ready.

[Wolfshook]

Well,today I deleted all of our photos that I saved into a special folder. It's hard to grasp that it's been nearly a year... I do feel a lot better.

 

My heart hasnt skipped a beat when I stumbled upon this folder, which gave me good enough indication to delete everything.

 

It all seemed so hard a year ago, who would have tought that time flies so quickly?

[kamelia]

Day 13

 

I want him back so badly... I thought this will be easy but it´s not

[kamelia]

Feeling a bit better now, but still checking his online status on fb, I don´t know why. I got a new book about relationships today and read a few pages, and realizing all the bad things I have done in the relationship, I was pining after him and this is the result. Anyway, maybe it´s good that we broke up, maybe he wasn´t the right man for me. I´m dating another guy and he is doing everything my ex was doing at the beginning and then what he stopped doing - inviting me out, texting me, calling... But I´m not attracted to him, I only want him to be my friend. I hope this period of 30 days will soon be over so that I can reconcile with the fact that my ex is not interested in meeting up with me and I can move on with my life.

[kokorolove]

16 days of NC, I think I am getting better. Doesn't have that urge to contact her so badly, but sometimes still wonder about what she is doing. But I told myself it's none of my business and if she wants me to know she would reach out.

 

I don't know if I want her to reach out or not. Every night I either have a nightmare or I dream about her. Didn't have a good sleep for almost a year. She doesn't feel sorry for what she has done so why should I be sorry for making mistakes. We both hurt each other but she doesn't feel bad about it.

 

I am getting stronger.

[kamelia]

16 days is a great achievement, keep it up no contact is sooo much better than low contact. It is better for you to heal your heart and also to find out if she cares about you because if she really does, she will reach out. If she doesn´t feel bad about hurting you, you should really move on and find somebody who will genuinely care about you. Sorry to hear you can´t sleep well...

[luisannalui]

During our relationship,Although I tried my best to communicate with her it was all in vain. She never listened to me and everything seemed to be perfect when I was ignoring things that she was doing that clearly bothered me. I wanted us to communicate so we could have. Better relationship but she rather lied and hide things from me. Worst me finding out was her excuse to leave me saying I havent change and that is over.

 

We had plans of moving in together again, I helped her in the process to get her tlc license to be a taxi driver and helped her with school work, woke her up, dressed her son to school so she could sleep. still she only concentrated n the bad things that I had.

 

After a week of leaving me And again not allowing me to see her son. decided to go no contact, I disappeared from facebook and just not posting stuff so that she knows nothing about me. She started process to move by herself and all I want is to start concentrating on me and move on. Christmas holidays just making things worst but hanging in there.

 

Day #3. 12/17/2016.

[charneca]

About 3 months since we broke up. Contacted you once about 2 weeks ago to tell you I wanted to deal with my own things from now on and I want my pc back.Said he could only meet up after 19.Is it that difficult to arrange 10 minutes just to exchange things?I hope you're not toying with me.

 

Today has been a hard day, I still question why you went behind my back chasing girls and arranging meetings for lunch/whatever.You said you didn't cheat because it happened to you and you didn't like it. I say, those girls weren't into you, so you didn't get to it.After 10 years together, you seem a shadow of what you were.Your new life changed you for the worse, so much that even your oldest friend doesn't recognize you anymore. Your old self wouldn't be capable of being so disrespectful to me.You said you never would hurt me. But you did and it was something you could have avoided.You should own your sh*t and not play the victim.

 

I miss you, i still love you,but I hope someday I won't care about you.

[kamelia]

Day 19

I´m actually wondering, does no contact rule apply when I wasn´t in a "real relationship"? Today I started to realize all the things that weren´t right in my "relationship", like I knew about them but I didn´t realize how important they were. Like I couldn´t plan anything with him to the future, his friends were more important for him than me... So it was pretty bad. I just don´t understand why I can´t find somebody normal? Ah please help me...

[kamelia]

Day 20

His friend texted me but I´m not going to reply. I wonder if he texted me because my ex told him it´s over between us or just out of curiosity. Feeling good today, looking forward to Christmas

[kamelia]

Day 21

Every time something bad happens in my life, I want to write to my ex soooo badly... I just remember all the times when he helped me out of a difficult situation by standing by my side and talking to me in a positive manner. I need him so much now and I can´t even talk to him now, it´s horrible. But I know if I reach out, it will be just worse. He would make me feel worse about myself and the situation because he would say something like we are not together, I´m not your boyfriend so I can´t help you, I want to be single and stuff like that. I feel so helpless now. There is a new guy I like but the relationship with him is not so strong so that I could tell him things like this. What should I do???

[rosecolored108]

I have been in no contact for a week, but I guess I just accepted the challenge, so here it is: DAY 1 5:13PM EST 12/21/2016

 

I feel OKAY today, a lot better than I did feel yesterday. I have a therapy session scheduled for next Tuesday, which is actually giving me hope, because I think it will be good for me to talk through things.

 

I am doing my scuba certification, something I have always wanted to do.

 

I have a lot to look forward to (I am in law school, and I am done the semester this week). I love the holidays, though Christmas does remind me a bit of my ex. I am getting stronger, though I still have my moments of doubt. Hoping to move past them completely!

[celshaded]

Day 2 of NC, Breakup was Monday morning.

 

I'm doing fine, he'll be back in Manitoba tomorrow and coming into our apartment, I'll be gone. I found this easy but at he same time I'm looking at all our gifts and cards to each other and it makes me smile. A part of me regrets arguing all the time but, maybe this was meant to happen.

[rosecolored108]

DAY 2 of the challenge. Wasn't feeling great this morning, but listed to some "happy tunes" on the way to work this morning, and my mood has improved. I am actually looking forward to the holiday this weekend

[rosecolored108]

DAY 3 (DAY 9 ON MY OWN) OF THE CHALLENGE:

 

Better than yesterday and actually looking forward to the holiday. I am excited to spend time with my parents, and I have a date Monday!

[Trinity11]

Day 8 of no contact...well I saw them so i said hi...they responded, i responded....they waited ages then responded and starting liking my insta again...Im not reading into it..they were kinda awesome mountain/nature pics so people can like what they like without it meaning anything...back to NC...this sucks. I still cry about once a day...finally told my parents its over...so scared to open their response

[Trinity11]

What to do about Christmas ? Wish well or nothing. Seems strange I was taking about how to balance our friends get together just over a week ago and now I'm trying to decide whether to talk to him at all. It ended on good terms, although I'm in the, I want a second chance, a fresh chance club.

[Kayley]

Christmas....all the plans we made.

 

I was doing so well until I stopped work for Christmas, now I miss you more than I have in a long time.

 

I just wish you would text me, I wish we could be friends.

[rosecolored108]

Day 4-mixed emotions about the holiday but I am going to focus on the good stuff I have. I get to see my parents and my brother. I also will get to see my cousin who I haven't seen in months. I have some good gifts to give and receive!

[kamelia]

Day 29

I can´t believe I kept nc for so long... He made no attempt for any contact during this time I think about him quite often but I know that if he isn´t interested in contacting me there is no point. I honestly thought he would call me after a few weeks saying he made a mistake and wants to be with me. Well, I was wrong. I probably thought he loved me more than he actually did. But life goes on. Anyway, I´m chatting with another guy, who is sooo interested in meeting up with me... I´ll see how it goes. Wish me luck

[Kris22]

Decided to start this NC thing. Today is technically Day 8 of NC, the last time we talked was before I went home for Christmas. We were supposed to get lunch the day I got back, but I wouldn't land til late so I gave him 3 other days I was free if he was still up for it and any of those days worked. He said "ok cool. I'll let you know my schedule." But it has been 8 days since then and I know he knows what his schedule will look like by now so I'm assuming he's just never gonna get back to me. He has always been very non confrontational. I went on a date last night with a guy I met on Tinder. He was nice, conversation lagged in places, but he made me laugh and for the most part I didn't think of my ex. He wants to meet up with me downtown New Years Eve and go out Tuesday. I don't know what to do. We were texting today and he was talking about the great time he had and how he was thinking about me a lot today. I had a good time with him, but I couldn't stop thinking about my ex today and how incredibly excited I was after our first date and how comfortable I was with him after just one night.