THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[Roselynn1]

No idea what day this is, feels like day 100 😏. I have too much pride to contact you so not doing so is actually easy. I'm working on trying to forget you. That's the goal.

[aloneinBK]

You emailed me to send me a job opening. I know you care. I know you care so much. But I deleted it. I can't. Visions of you are torturing me and I hope they are torturing you, too.

 

I should never have seen you after 30 days. I have to start NC all over again. It'll be 7 days after tomorrow. I don't know what point there is in going on without you. But I'm trying. I can't base the value of my life on whether you're with me or not. I have to believe that you are not the only one out there for me.

[kamelia]

Day 11 NC

When I was in work I thought about him all the time and missed him so much but as day progressed I started to feel much better and I think I´m finally getting over him. I think it gets better with time and since I´m having dates with other guys, it really helps.

[Butterfly1983]

No contact ( reboot). Starting again tomorrow. Sigh. Wish me luck

[rtyu4567]

Back to square one. Starting over after contact. But I'm going to put one foot in front of the other and do it! I can't just hang around beating myself up because I screwed up, Live and learn and hopefully I will learn.

Accepting the the NC challenge for me

Today I had my last contact with him.

Tomorrow is a brand new day with a brand new start!

[Kayley]

As much as I miss him and wish things had been different, I don't want to be with him.if he was to call me and say he made a mistake and wanted me back I'd say no. I know this isn't going to happen because I've been nc 31days and haven't heard from him. Even the 8 days beforwNC the contact was I jtiatedby me. Anyway I know I don't want to be with him, I couldn't go back to someone who has caused me this much pain.

 

If I don't want to be with him why do I want to talk To him so much?

 

At this point I don't know how to walk away without saying the things that are left unsaid.

[kamelia]

Today I broke nc, my ex texted me if we could meet up sometimes and I said yes but I don´t know if I did the right thing, I don´t know what to do. I don´t want to be just "friends" with him, I want a relationship... what should I do??

[kamelia]

Update: I told him that I won´t be able to meet up, because I don´t want to be just friends and if we meet up, I would still worry about how things will go. So I´m starting NC again, from tomorrow it will be day 1. Oh, and I was so happy that I made it to day 11 and now I have to start from day 1 again

[Butterfly1983]

Update: I told him that I won´t be able to meet up, because I don´t want to be just friends and if we meet up, I would still worry about how things will go. So I´m starting NC again, from tomorrow it will be day 1. Oh, and I was so happy that I made it to day 11 and now I have to start from day 1 again

 

I totally understand. I've been starting/stopping NC for quite awhile. Don't be too hard on yourself. Think of it this way, at least you bowed out before seeing him. Seeing him could've made it worse. Keep your head up!

[kamelia]

It´s so frustrating because I´m not sure if I´m doing the right thing but I have already been in a "friends with benefits type of relationship" and I never want to be in one again. So at least I was able to say no to him because I know what I don´t want. I think NC is the best thing because if he doesn´t want a real relationship, I´ll be able to forget him much easier and it won´t be hurting me so much seeing him and knowing I can´t be his real girlfriend..

[justshine1]

Here goes nothing....

 

Everyone read what I just posted about my ex and ull see why.

 

I need to do this for me. I'm picking up the peices and he doesn't deserve me talking to him. It's gonna be ha rd as this is day one. But I'm gonna try

[Treato]

No true I didn't get contacted until the 32 day

[Kayley]

32 days of NC....that makes 40 days since the break up. He hasn't made any attempts to speak to me during those 32 days but still all I want to do is reach out. I don't even want to get back together, I just want to talk. I want to be on friendly terms. I want an actual goodbye rather than the way it actually ended.

 

This is screwing my head up so bad

[kamelia]

Kayley, you are doing so great... You should be proud of yourself. I think you´ll always have the opportunity to talk about the break up and part as friends, but you need to keep nc untill your feelings are settled and you start forgetting about him. Now just concentrate on yourself, do what feels good to you and be kind to yourself. Every break up is a process and it takes time. If he hurt you forgive him in your heart. Write him a letter in which you´ll tell him everything you want to and then throw it out. You WILL feel better I promise...

[ashley b]

Almost 3 weeks since the breakup. I was about 1 week NC but my aunt passed away last night and he reached out. I texted him letting him know when the funeral was because I didn't want to be rude. After all, we were together a long time. Please check my thread, any advice would be appreciated

[kamelia]

Day 2 NC (break up 2 weeks ago)

 

I feel so angry that he wanted me to be just his friend after everything we went through.. I really cared about him and I though he cared about me too. If I knew it would end up like this, I probably wouldn´t even want to meet up with him in the first place... But I guess anybody can say that. It´s soooo hard. I don´t know what to do. I suppose I just have to wait and keep NC. It´s over between us for me and if he is ever ready he can call me and we can talk. But I don´t think it will be anytime soon. I´m meeting up with other guys too, but you know I have that feeling that nobody is like him and always compare other guys to him...

[DizzyDes]

This is Day 1 for me. I literally just got off his Facebook page but that was before i saw your post. Plus, i just joined this site like an hour ago. I consider myself over my ex. We dated 14-16 and I'm 21 now. However, he was in my dream last night. So thats what caused me to check out his Facebook. But in the dream last night, he asked to "start fresh" and i tried my best to ignore him but it was nice seeing this side of him. Then he was like I got 2 tickets to some NFL game and I tried to make up an excuse but eventually gave in. Well then he was like "Lets get back together!" And then I woke up...

[kamelia]

I had a dream about my ex too, it was nice, but reality is different. I feel so sad and I feel like I have lost him forever.

[DizzyDes]

I had a dream about my ex too, it was nice, but reality is different. I feel so sad and I feel like I have lost him forever.

 

I take it you miss your ex? I dont miss mine because he always pressured me into sex and them slept with my so called friends/family whenever i refused to give him some

[kamelia]

I do miss him but I´m not going to be with him if he doesn´t want a relationship... Are you serious that he slept with your friends when you refused? omg

[kamelia]

Day 3 of NC (15 days since break-up)

I feel so bad and lonely without him. I would like to know what he feels. And also I would like to know if he is ever going to reach out to me. And if so, when. Will I move on so much that I won´t be able to come back to him if he does? Will I be able to forgive him? What if he just used me just for a company and never really took our "relationship" seriously? There are so many questions in my head and I know that I won´t get the answers anytime soon... I miss him as a friend too, I miss our conversations, his laugh... But maybe we weren´t meant to be together and if not, then it´s good for me to forget about him and move on. I just wish to know it as soon as possible. I´m wondering if he just said that he isn´t ready for a relationship because he didn´t want to hurt me.

[kamelia]

Day 4 NC

I feel like I´m the only one writing in here Anyway, I hope somebody reads it I´m thinking about my ex all day and wondering why he stopped caring about me. What did I do to make him go away. It´s probably I´m too needy and I scared him away I´m scaring every man away, at least the ones I care for. It´s maybe that way because I lack confidence. I thought we could be happy together but he probably doesn´t care about me anymore

[Kayley]

I don't know what day I'm on now. I know some point last week was 30 days but I've stopped feeling the need to count. I suppose that's progress. Why isn't progress though is how badly I still want to reach out. The mornings the urges are worse than at any other point in the day. This morning I seriously considered caving but the moment has kinda passed now. I thought by after 30 days the urges would be gone but no. I mean they are different to what they were in the beginning. I have a lot more control over them now but they are still there.

 

I don't know what it is that makes me want to reach out so badly. I don't want him back. I just want to be on friendly terms but I don't know why that matters to me so much. I know I shouldn't care but I do. I've always had a problem letting go off people. Not relationships necessarily but friends, family members who have hurt me. I always give too many chances. It's the thing I hate about me. Usually once I'm done though, that's it. It just takes a lot to get me there.

 

Sometimes I just think why not reach out? I mean if I'm still hurting this much, can it really make it worse? Even not hearing back might give me the kick I need to get the hell over him.

 

I struggle with knowing that we could have had something really good if we did it right. We moved too quickly and in the end I pushed too much. I'm struggling to forgive myself for that. Maybe another reason I want contact because if we speak then I can tell myself he doesn't hold ill feeling towards me and it might help me forgive myself.

 

This is so screwed up. I cant believe I'm so screwed up over a guy. I swore I'd never let this happen again.

[kamelia]

Kayley, if you are still hurting about your ex, then it´s probably not a good idea to break no contact because you first need to heal your emotions. Maybe after some time, when you will get over him, you two could be friends, but it could take a year or two. One way to get over him could be that you realize that during the time you two were together, he wasn´t completely honest with you. You might have thought that he felt the same way you did but in reality he was just faking it because it felt good to be with someone who thought so highly of him. At least that´s what I´m guessing that happened. And also, the fact that you could have something good between you two is questionable because it takes two to tango and obviously he wasn´t as interested as he appeared to be. The reason you pushed in the end was maybe because he could not fake it anymore and you somehow felt it and you tried to save the relationship by putting more effort into it. So don´t blame yourself for it. I don´t think he thinks ill of you, you should be thinking ill of him! You deserve so much better, a guy who will be so happy to be with a wonderful girl like you and be honest with you all the time. And the only way to get such a man is to stop thinking about your ex. You should be so proud of yourself that you maintained no contact for over a month. The longer you maintain nc, the easier it will be for you to forget about him. Wish you luck!

[Kayley]

Kayley, if you are still hurting about your ex, then it´s probably not a good idea to break no contact because you first need to heal your emotions. Maybe after some time, when you will get over him, you two could be friends, but it could take a year or two. One way to get over him could be that you realize that during the time you two were together, he wasn´t completely honest with you. You might have thought that he felt the same way you did but in reality he was just faking it because it felt good to be with someone who thought so highly of him. At least that´s what I´m guessing that happened. And also, the fact that you could have something good between you two is questionable because it takes two to tango and obviously he wasn´t as interested as he appeared to be. The reason you pushed in the end was maybe because he could not fake it anymore and you somehow felt it and you tried to save the relationship by putting more effort into it. So don´t blame yourself for it. I don´t think he thinks ill of you, you should be thinking ill of him! You deserve so much better, a guy who will be so happy to be with a wonderful girl like you and be honest with you all the time. And the only way to get such a man is to stop thinking about your ex. You should be so proud of yourself that you maintained no contact for over a month. The longer you maintain nc, the easier it will be for you to forget about him. Wish you luck!

 

I'm not going to break no contact just in my weaker moments it seems like things can't get much worse so why not? I don't want to be friends, just on friendly terms.

 

In all honesty, the beginning of our relationship I was the closed off one. He was very open about his feelings, insecure at times, always making the plans to see me - which to be honest was still the same story at the very end. I made plans sometimes of course but I'm a kinda go with the flow person. I had only recently starting to really open up to him and admit how I felt. It wasn't a relationship where I was all in and he wasn't which I suppose makes things all the more confusing....had it been that way I could probably justify it a little more.

 

He was distant while his dog was sick which I actually think in hindsight was his personality and way of dealing with things because while distant, he was still nice for want of a better word but I pushed and that's when things started to change. I don't know, I think he was avoidant because he wouldn't talk about the problems...told me everything was fine then just ended it...

 

Sometimes I think commitment issues because 2 days before he broke up with me he booked something for the following week (I saw the booking confirmation) then all of a sudden he was gone...

 

Believe me, I want to stop thinking about him. I just can't seem to get there. NC is so damn tiring sometimes. I'm not good at just cutting people out of my life.