Jump to content

Trinity11

Platinum Member
  • Posts

    1,053
  • Joined

Everything posted by Trinity11

  1. I just answered questions simply as i dont want to be rude i guess. When he was telling me about his new job in town (he worked away a lot while we were together) i just said thats good news, hope he is enjoying it. I really don't know why he would even tell me about it after all ths time quite honestly, it does not affect me anymore so.... My last reply to question was a bit longer that I should have made it. But whatever. I did not keep the converstation going nor use any emoji/exclamation. I will not be initiating any contact and its doubtful anything else will happen on his end or mine (he too would have to change and im not sure that is something he even recognises would have to happen/to be a good partner. To anyone) Hes probably feeling guilty about the b/u and having ignored me for so long.
  2. Ex contacted me today. Last contact was back in Jan I think, broke up in Dec. Haven't opened the message although hes just asking how I am. For some reason it just makes me mad. Not sure whether to even reply, i mean...i dont really have anything to say.
  3. Cant remember what day of no contact im up to now, but its been 3 months since breakup. He never messaged me, aside from New Years. He no longer likes any of my media either. Well . It feels ty...but I guess that's his true colours, its hurts to think he didn't care. I know he did...but it still makes you think.
  4. Day 13 of no contact. he still doesn't talk to me. The only way I can make myself NOT feel sad is if i sing this song in my head. Its so old and cheesy but kind of upbeat... I don't hate him at all...but I hate he gave up. [video=youtube;byEGjLU2egA] ]
  5. Day 10 round 2, its a couple of days away from 2 months since breakup Havent heard a peep from the ex since bumping into him on Tues. Feel like he doesn't care...Im starting to care less, but in a "I hate you for doing this" way. Even when he saw me he was nice, but like i was anybody..it was horrible. Thank goodness i pretty much ran away.
  6. I ran into my ex on the lift today. He was behind me and said my name. I cant remember if he said how am I or if i said it, but I shuffled off quickly to joing my friends and jump on the lift which was coming up. I was glad they were racing (they had no idea of the situation) as it avoided some awkwardness. I acknowledged him, but kinda ignored him too. He knows my number...if he really wanted to say hi he would. My head fizzed afterwards. I guess that is some anxiety about the run in. Luckily we had a gal snowboard day and everyone was totally awesome and "never mind about him" because we were having a wonderful, wonderful day already. It was just the best. The places i complained I never went- well he NEVER offered to take me, the girls took me today and guess what. So much fun...how could i possibly be negative, he just didn't get it... that's all I ever wanted...
  7. BBogdanov. After I contacted my ex...I had no desire to again... Funny it was like a scab i had to pick. Once picked it was gone ;-)
  8. Day 7 NC (2nd round) Been on 4 "dates" everyone is nice and everyone sucks. They are just not on my level or exceed my level of energy. There is no banter and laughter. They are just not my ex. I don't think of him while on the date, but after. We had such an instant connection and what was supposed to be a 1-2 hour date lasted hours and we forgot to eat because we had so much fun. I am not sure at what point we stopped understanding each other....but I will remember our first date always. He still has not made contact since NY but did not ignore me when i messaged him. Gah.
  9. Day 2 NC (2nd round) Back to feeling terrible. Nothing to do with the contact. Just a heartbreaking convo with my friend about what he had said to her and my past attitude. I just love him so much and wish he would give us a chance because I truly have worked hard on myself the last few months. I know its good for me regardless, but it seems like such a waste.
  10. TOD you made it to 4 days before he text? Good on you for having the mindset of space. Maybe if he does not ask a question, don't reply.
  11. I hit day 30. I actually feel a little worse not better the last couple of days. I feel a bit sick I've come to this point, it feels a bit like an anniversary of breakup. I am going on a date today and i could not really care less, sorry date... I screwed up uni twice. Waiting on my essay results which gosh...i gave myself no time to do as i simply forgot to do it. And I didn't register for my final exam as i have not been checking emails much the last couple of months. Hopefully both will work out. No more mess ups.
  12. Day 44 since i decided to go NC, 29 days since actual NC Gone and forgotten I am I guess! It still hurts. What could have been, what is not.
  13. You told me when you broke up that you loved me. I said well I didnt know, you hardly ever told me. But I did know, I knew from the way you looked at me, or the things you did for me...what i dont know, and maybe i should have asked, is when did you STOP? when did you tap out, how did i not see it?? I asked why did you say you loved me when i saw you last before you arrived back from work (before the breakup) you said "to make it easier" I MEAN ???
  14. Day 40 since i decided to go NC, 25 days since actual NC He still hasn't messaged me at all. It actually seems TOTALLY weird. Parallel universe weird. I wonder what he thinks of me not contacting him?? He probably thinks i hate him.
  15. Lolita, I hitting 35 in a couple of months, going back to uni with no sign of anyone having loved me like I loved them... I'd be happy just for that, the rest in it'd own time. But yeh it's hard! Good luck!
  16. Not sure why I need to say anything still. I guess I still haven't accepted you are gone, we are gone rather. I have had a lot on my plate this year, the most ive had ever. I know the month before you left for work i had next to no time available. I was drowning. You asked me how i was going to do it, yet didn't offer any advice even though you have been to uni recently. It scared me and I cried, remember. All I wanted was you to tell me it will be ok. I guess you wondered how this would all work. Im sorry we both didn't recognised that I was getting bogged down, and I'm sorry i pushed you away at times but I thought you would always be there for me like you were when we met, after all we did love each other. I am sorry If you felt I didn't listen or let you help, I felt you criticized me when i was having a bad day, or struggling to learn something. I wanted a hug, a laugh, just YOU. Im sorry you didn't know it could have been fixed, that it didnt have to be like this. Im sorry I didnt know what was happening. I just want to go back to that camping trip around the island. Those were the best days...
  17. Day 35 since i made NC, 20 days since LC. I might have looked at his FB for the first time yesterday (I know I know I broke the rules) It was ok. I believe he wont be back from work until Feb...time to heal at least. BUT at this stage...he hasn't contacted me at all since NYE. So... I just still find it hard to believe that we arent that couple who would get through anything, who loved each other they would make his work and my school work. Yet, in the end..it was the little things that we could not conquer, and school... apparently im going on a different path, AKA he does not want to join/support me. I am going on pretty much a total blind date. To be honest I cant be bothered. Id love to turn up in a hoody and jeans, but i put a nicer top on at least. I have hardly done make up or my hair. What is the point. To heal?? Im not sure I can make the effort but I will...meet some new people. Im thinking about deleting all my online dating. I feel like if he cant handle my impending university, maybe no man can.
  18. DAY 30 NC, 15 days since LC Was his experience so lopsided from mine?? How is this even possible. I feel awful that i was so in love and he was falling out of it and i had no idea. I just feel awful. Will he ever talk to me again...why did he make assumptions about "what i want" and "what my path is" without ever having that talk with me. Im just so frustrated. And sad. I feel bad because my parents worry because they live overseas and there is nothing anyone can do. Does he ever look at photos of us or me and wish to go back to that day like I do?
  19. DAY 29 NC, 14 days since LC- broke up on the 11th Dec. Well... yup.. this is still completely heartbreaking. I thought maybe you might check in to see if i was ok by now. I would say yes...but i really mean no.
  20. Im having a really hard day. I just can't stop crying. I keep thinking of how much he cried when he broke up with me, hes not emotional much, I have only seen tears once in the time we were together and that was when a family member passed but the breakup the tears were streaming down his face. He MUST have known how excited i was to see him after such a long time away at work. I was so happy he was back, that we could finally have fun (and he agreed he wanted that) and two days later I was crushed. I don't know if there is any hope of getting back together, probably not if he thinks im so negative. That thought makes me feel so sick. I can't stop thinking about that, I had a rough year...but I am not who he says I am. Other people don't see me like that...What HAPPENED?? He asked if I think he doesn't know me...He does, but that was just one part of me...now i know, the me that was balancing a lot of places. So many regrets I just can't get over. I haven't started my homework...I can't concentrate.
  21. I feel your pain offthegrid. It does feel wrong to let it all go. But they have. sadly. But its probably a good thing you work on yourself, if she comes back you will have a better chance (provided shes done the same) if not...well you know there are always more fish in the sea or whatever... Day23 NC, 5 days since returning NYE message. Well today I can only think about when we went on our good holiday, not the final one. We threw a piece of lava around on the beach and went exploring in the forest...we got nowhere. But it was a gorgeous day and I really treasure that place. I hope you think of it too. I took a photo of you and I can't look at it. Actually there are others...I did stumble upon in my phone. Were you that happy too? Or had you started to have doubts at that point? God i wish i could reminisce about that day with you. Yesterday you liked my facebook post on how i found out about my ok grade (not high enough for the course i want) actually being top of the class. I guess its your way of saying congratulations which extends on your NYE message without actually talking to me. I was surprised, as I thought you had unfollowed me as I had you. Still it means nothing really. You said when we broke up you weren't sure if you missed me while away at work...that really hurt. But I guess you don't miss me...Today is 29 days since we broke up. Im not even sure you went back to work...I have a feeling youre still in town, that kind of makes it worse, knowing you are here and don't want anything to do with me. Your housemate came up on my Tinder yesterday so i guess the word will get out. Will you think im trying to hook up, I hope not. I dont even know why I have it. Its how we met... Im not looking for a hookup, Im not looking for anything really but I can't close the door, any door to meeting the right person if you are not him. I just want to go back to that day on the beach. Ill be throwing myself into my uni work from this week. I hope I can keep getting top marks. Its a small reward for something that contributed to the breakup.
  22. No it wont be..im having trouble dealing though, he wasnt a bad guy, he did get angry at me once or twice and i him but we never fought... sometimes i wish he did something so i could be angry at him..hate him even....its so much easier. The most i can come up with is that hes free for possibilities. I dont think he has anyone, but the fact that he thinks im not right...means he thinks someone else is. So I guess i can be annoyed about that?? haha. Day three...I think you sound like you are going pretty good!! I would have picked you for more days NC for sure! weeks!
  23. How many days has it been for you sourhearts?? Im approaching a month and it actually feels a bit worse as I have had more free time that I have had in the last 7 months and i cant help but think i was supposed to be having fun and being carefree with him finally. As my relationship was a strong LDR at times I dont miss him living with me, i just miss him, and us, my best friend. And im sad he didnt see me the same way. I can't concentrate on uni and that scares me. I think id prefer the nothing feeling right now...or is that scary in itself, like it never happened.
  24. Im sorry I was not meeting your needs, and that you felt that you should not communicate them to me for whatever reason, it may be that you tried, but i didn't hear, you didn't want to hurt me, or you just did not know how. Know I want to grow with my partner who ever that might be in future and I always WANT to listen, I want to meet your needs. I'm sorry I let my own worries and stresses affect the relationship, and that I did not share them with you and ask for your help or a cuddle when I needed it. I needed you. I want so much to tell you I'm glad you voiced your concerns when we broke up and as much as I didn't want to break up, I did listen, because you communicated, that made me happy in a very difficult time and I never want to make the same mistakes again, with you if i ever got the chance...or anyone else in my future.
  25. As it turns out he found out anyway. Insta..because there was a pic. Not sure if happy or if this is a bad thing. Projection... I will add I've never responded to breadcrumbs in regards to likes as they are harmless, as in he's prob happy I'm happy, an that's ok, but I nothing more. One of my friends has said she will be my red light... if I have a moment of weakness she will remind me, if u love him, let him go. She also has brought to my attention I might have been harsh to his ego in some ways but I was frustrated that he didn't take some of his own initiative in the bedroom(foreplay, he was so excited from looking at me and wriggling about) and was surprised when I wasn't as honey from the same ( I was jealous to be truthful) like girls often have to do... but at the end of the day, as hard as it might have been, it was not just that, and maybe not right for me all round. After all I needed his encouragement and support and he was on my side, I believe but didn't know how to give it.... I digress as always. I love this man and I miss him, and while I have a safeguard... I need enotalone in case they aren't there...in time
×
×
  • Create New...