do all men who aren't with models settle?

[Caterina]

I was talking to this guy who does not take care of his body at all the other day. He has a good personality as far as a good sense of humor, but, here is the story:

 

So he was in love with this girl who looked like a model. She didn't like him that way (she was his friend) but he forever pined after her. Finally, he settled for this girl that he wasn't sexually attracted to. He broke it off with her because of that. He admits he was being selfish b/c he didn't want to be alone.

 

Don't you think its a bit ridiculous to expect a woman to be a model when you aren't yourself?

 

Are all the men who aren't dating models essentially settling?

[Crush85]

Are all the men who aren't dating models essentially settling?

 

No because everyone is different. For instance, I'm not attracted to super skinny models at all.

[Dragunov-21]

No because everyone is different. For instance, I'm not attracted to super skinny models at all.

 

ditto, also, I've gotta say it - emotion plays an enormous amout in attractiveness/attractedness. Like, looking back, one of my exes wasn't a particular looker, but I loved her dearly and she seemed like the sexiest girl on the planet to me, whereas someone else I know is really hot physically, but ruins it with constant whinging and bigotry etc etc.

 

Settling is being with someone who you you want to change, or trade in for a better model, IMO.

[Butterflygrl]

Isn't that the truth? lol. The same men who pine for these women, look like a mess. I think in general, men have a better self image of themselves or I should say a warped image of themselves in some cases. A fat, unhealthy, ugly man can look in the mirror but the reflection he sees is a face like brad pitt or denzel and a body like arnold swarzanegger. And a gorgeous and slim woman see her reflection as a not attractive enough and ten times fatter than she actually is. Women magnify their negative (if theyhave it at all) and Men minimize theirs.

[emeraldina]

I think because there are so many girls out there that maintain themselves and end up looking super gorgeous ... guys kinda expect that .. for dating anyway .. not all guys.. well I hope not .. but as far as settling.. I don't think they'd only settle for model/like girls ..

[michelangelo]

Certainly not. I would say woman's femininity attracts me so much more than her actual looks.

But women here in North America are not very feminite AT ALL, sigh..

[Batya33]

I think you're confusing attraction with looks. Two different things. And luckily I know the last post to have no basis in reality other than perhaps in that one poster's opinion (which I'd be curious to know if there is any basis since there are millions of women in north america).

[annie24]

Don't you think its a bit ridiculous to expect a woman to be a model when you aren't yourself?

 

Are all the men who aren't dating models essentially settling?

 

yes, i think it would be really hypocritical to expect something from your partner that you aren't yourself. ie, expecting your partner to be a fit gym rat with perfect thighs when you are the poster boy for dunkin donuts - that's just ridiculous.

 

but like batya pointed out, attraction is different from looks. you can be attracted to someone even if they don't look like a model. attraction is deeper.

[michelangelo]

Batya is right, I am only one person but I'm sticking with my opinion. Having lived in Europe for most of my life I do find that women in North America are lacking femininity. To me this is very noticeable. I am not generalising all women on this continent, but I'd say this applies to majority of them.

Just my 2 cents.

[Batya33]

Batya is right, I am only one person but I'm sticking with my opinion. Having lived in Europe for most of my life I do find that women in North America are lacking femininity. To me this is very noticeable. I am not generalising all women on this continent, but I'd say this applies to majority of them.

Just my 2 cents.

 

How did you manage to meet most of the women in north america especially if you live in europe? do you mean women of a particular age range? all single women? just straight women or women of all sexual orientations? what is your opinion based on?

[thejigsup]

We are different than European women, we are AMERICAN! European men don't bathe as often as American men, either.

[Cassie]

I'm curious, Michelangelo, how you define femininity?

[bertdru]

I am a guy and I do think I am ugly.

 

But I am just not attracted to the women around me. Yesterday I saw one girl who looked awesome(out of a 100), but there is no way she would like me.

 

So yeah I would settle, I guess. That is not such a bad thing, you know. Maybe my future wife would also be settling, considering my looks.

 

One thing though. Different guys have different views of beauty. So pretty much every woman is attractive to some guy or the other.

[alphabetsoup13]

i didn't read the entire thread but the answer is no. we are not settling if we're not dating a model.

[CaptainPlanet]

I was talking to this guy who does not take care of his body at all the other day. He has a good personality as far as a good sense of humor, but, here is the story:

 

So he was in love with this girl who looked like a model. She didn't like him that way (she was his friend) but he forever pined after her. Finally, he settled for this girl that he wasn't sexually attracted to. He broke it off with her because of that. He admits he was being selfish b/c he didn't want to be alone.

 

Don't you think its a bit ridiculous to expect a woman to be a model when you aren't yourself?

 

Are all the men who aren't dating models essentially settling?

 

I'm not dating a girl I am not attracted too. What is the point ? Chicks won't make allowances, so honestly, why should we ?

[CaptainPlanet]

Women are judged primarily on their appearance, everyone knows that and all women are aware. thereforee it is unacceptable that a woman does not take care of herself or at least put in a good effort to get fit. If you put in an effort you will get results as in going for a run or lifting weights will improve your attractiveness. Men are judged by a different set of factors. Those are the rules you cannot go changing them to suit you when you feel like it. Women sure don't complain when those standards are to their benefit or make them money.

[CaptainPlanet]

yes, i think it would be really hypocritical to expect something from your partner that you aren't yourself. ie, expecting your partner to be a fit gym rat with perfect thighs when you are the poster boy for dunkin donuts - that's just ridiculous.

 

but like batya pointed out, attraction is different from looks. you can be attracted to someone even if they don't look like a model. attraction is deeper.

 

You mean like paying for dates ?

 

There are different standards and different rules for each gender to live by. You can't change it just to suit you. For a woman, her looks are more important so she will be dumped directly for that reason a lot more often.

[ProtestTheHero]

CP I kind of agree, but I personally don't know many women that don't factor in a male's physical appearance when it comes to dating us...so I'd say it's an even less forgiving process then even you are acknowledging, lol.

[CaptainPlanet]

CP I kind of agree, but I personally don't know many women that don't factor in a male's physical appearance when it comes to dating us...so I'd say it's an even less forgiving process then even you are acknowledging, lol.

 

Yes but it is not an immediate exclusion criteria. Being poor or poorly dressed will get a man dumped on the spot. If you're a little bit ugly but you have self confidence, are dressed well, clearly well off and have the slightest hint of charm you will get dates with very attractive women. They probably won't sleep with you unless they're looking for the security of your financial status or percieved future power, in one way or another but at least you get a scoring shot. An ugly chick won't even get on the playing field and I think that is fair enough too.

[ProtestTheHero]

Yes but it is not an immediate exclusion criteria. Being poor or poorly dressed will get you a man dumped on the spot. If you're a little bit ugly but you have self confidence, are dressed well, clearly well off and have the slightest hint of charm you will get dates with very attractive women. They probably won't sleep with you unless they're looking for the security of your financial status or percieved future power, in one way or another but at least you get a scoring shot. An ugly chick won't even get on the playing field and I think that is fair enough too.

 

Lol, I'm surrounded by too many rich people to disagree with you. As unpopular as this belief is, I've seen enough just from my own situation that I have to agree.

[AnotherBrokenDoll]

So many men on here have said that looks aren't everything. That they look for personality.

 

I agree with what someone else stated that attraction and looks are very different things. And that most guys look for an attraction. I believe you shouldn't date someone you aren't attracted too, but that doesn't mean that all the people who aren't super models should be ruled out.

 

Girls are not just an exterior. They aren't just dolls, you shouldn't just be looking for the prettiest in the room. But if that is what you do then i pity you and hope those girls are far uglier on in the inside then what their looks make up for.

[ProtestTheHero]

So many men on here have said that looks aren't everything. That they look for personality.

 

I agree with what someone else stated that attraction and looks are very different things. And that most guys look for an attraction. I believe you shouldn't date someone you aren't attracted too, but that doesn't mean that all the people who aren't super models should be ruled out.

 

Girls are not just an exterior. They aren't just dolls, you shouldn't just be looking for the prettiest in the room. But if that is what you do then i pity you and hope those girls are far uglier on in the inside then what their looks make up for.

 

I have no idea how attraction and looks differ because everytime someone tries to answer that question they invariably post a bunch of intangible qualities. I'm sure that there is indeed a distinction because we acknowledge and see the beauty of others every day but we aren't jumping into bed with all of them (well, most of us anyway), but the problem is that I have yet to hear anyone describe what that difference is.

 

What makes good looking guy A less attractive than average looking guy B if there is a big time distinction between looks and attractiveness.

 

I think what bothers people is that they are in essense being told that they are attractive in spite of their looks rather than because of them in that scenario. That makes you feel awesome.

 

The tricky thing about this "Beauty on the inside" spiel is that no one gets to see what's on the inside if the outside is getting them ruled out from the beginning. It's a losing battle.

[Caterina]

I don't know why you assume being rich means anything. It means nothing to me, this thread is meant to be about hypocrisy, looks, and attraction. I'm not attracted to overweight men, but I'm not overweight myself. But I also don't date models...it doesn't bother me b/c if I at least find him attractive, that is all that matters to me.

[CaptainPlanet]

Not dating models isn't a big deal what is frustrating is the normal cute girls that will not date you. That isn't asking for a model its asking for a woman you're attracted too. I mean those of us that can't get models.. qualifies almost every single man on earth. There are not many 'models' around.

[AnotherBrokenDoll]

Personally im not sure how to explain the difference.

 

I guess looks, its the first thing you see and notice, but at the same point someone can be gorgeous but they may not act pretty. - Does that make any sense? Like they may physically be good looking but something about them is just off.

 

Also someone could be stunning but have really really bad hygiene or horrible habbits that just gross you out. Obviously you aren't going to be attracted to a girl who is picking her nose no matter how pretty she is? Well at least i wouldn't think so

 

Where as if you saw a girl who is less physically good looking, but doing something you find attractive - whatever it may be, smiling, being confident, flirting. Whatever then you may be drawn to that person.

 

Like if guy A and B looked exactly the same, but if one didn't wash his hair and hadn't brushed his teeth and wore tatty clothing with holes in them and yelled at anyone who came to close of course he won't be attractive. Where as if the other dressed plesantly, had his hair cut and what not he would be.

 

I really fail at explaining so i don't know if that will help at all.

 

You actually have a point about the being attractive in spite your looks part. I suppose some people would be quite insulted. Personally i would think its a great compliment. But i'm very much about not judging people based on what god gave them.

 

Why can't you see the inner beauty? Have you never spoken to an unattractive person in your lifetime? I sure have.