Cassie

Love this. Thanks so much for sharing.

This is my personal opinion - it is wrong on varying levels. In essense, it makes a mockery of the sacred intimate bond shared between man and wife. I would not tolerate this type of behavior with my future hubby (nor would I want to be involved with someone who would repeatedly engage in these types of activities). However, other couples are much more relaxed and 'adventurous' in the sensuality department. Phone sex would not be wrong if both partners had a mutual agreement to view it as relatively harmless, as something extra to add spice and enjoyment into their sex life together. How would hubby react if you were engaging in phone sex, I wonder?

Beautiful!

Anna, I'm not asking you to justify yourself to me or anyone else. No one is judging you, hon. I'm merely asking to gain an insight into what this man personally means to you. You've endured so much torment from his callous actions and I'm trying to understand why - what your motivation has been for continuing to pursue this man.

Anna, why are you still torturing yourself with this guy?

Currently mauling some ideas over in my head. If anyone is a financial advisor, or knows someone who is, I would love to speak to them. Thanks! =^..^=

Obscurity, don't go into the unknown though. Just take some time to arm yourself with information and research. Don't be intimidated. You'll be financially saavy in no time. You'll soon be saying, "financial advisors, pfft. who needs 'em? I have complete control over my finances." Good luck!! Start with that retirement article and then browse through the rest of the site if you have time. Ramit is a recent Stanford grad who offers excellent - free- advice on investing. He's an ace guy. I also have a financial management website, you can link removed if you'd like. Now go kick some butt, girl!

* cringe * Oh, my eyes, my eyes !!!! Thank goodness you're still young. Here is a little food for thought for you, link removed - NOW -. Do not waste another second on this board until you've read through it ! It's a simple enough read. (you may have to research the equivalent in Canada, as I'm unfamiliar). I'd also suggest going to your local library and picking up a copy of link removed. Never invest in anything you don't undestand. You don't need a financial advisor, my dear. Welcome to the wonderful world of financial management and awareness. May your $10,000 prosper and, with wise decisions, flourish into millions. Because if you start now, it will.

1. How old are you? 2. Do you have a retirement account? If so, are you funding the maximum allowed? Oh, and don't invest in anything until you understand it yourself. A.k.a., you don't need a financial advisor. Unless you enjoy throwing your money away on exorbitant and needless fees.

I'm a full-time student with a part-time job. This year, I'm trying to aggressively tackle my 10k car loan debt at 7%. I keep a small safety cushion of savings in an online savings account of 5.30%. I've just started a new job last week. For the first time ever, I have an opportunity to contribute to a 403(b) at my workplace. My employer will not match contributions. One of my friends is a licensed financial advisor and tells me I might be better off opening a Roth IRA instead of contributing to my 403(b). She says there are now opportunities to open a Roth with as low as $25. Without 403(b) employer matches, any advice on the wisest choice given my current situation and limited income stream?

I enjoy retaining my anonymity on ENotalone. I talk about some personal stuff here, and I enjoy not censoring what I'm putting out there (or having it come back to bite me in the butt later). Some people have little regard to their privacy. I came accross a profile of an attorney I know recently, and it was a bit shocking how he was presenting himself on his personal page. I believe it caused a few ripples at his job.

Currently a student. I also work part-time as a proctor in terms of college student placement testing. I'm also pursuing my own venues and passions through journalism and writing. I'm trying to not lock myself into someone else's 'occupation', but rather, finding the courage to live my own dream.

Hi Icemotoboy, thank you. I appreciate hearing your perspective. These issues have plagued us from the start. I've told my guy how I've felt numerous times because I don't feel I'm necessarily receiving the emotional support I need with this relationship. But each time, it causes him to pursue me viciously. Then my heart gets all tangled up in him again. Eventually things settle back to ... this. It's a cycle. I understand people need space. I'm actually quite a loner as well. But if I don't feel emotionally connected with the person I love, the space further deteriorates the relationship. There is no strong foundation there to withstand the pressure. I don't know what to do, sigh. He's a very rare breed. But while I value and love his differences, some of them are wearing on my self-esteem. This is never good, especially in a relationship with a supposed 'best friend' and a 'lover'. All of these are indicators to me that it might be time to pack my emotional bags and not look back.

Very noble and interesting. Have you considered setting aside time where you and her could watch a few hours of television together a week? I rarely watch television myself. Most of the programs are complete crap. I spend the bulk of my time reading nowadays.

We'll talk for maybe about 10 or 15 minutes. He's very quiet on the phone and doesn't say much. So if I won't carry the bulk of the conversation, there ends up being a lot of dead air. He will call faithfully. But it's kind of the same when we see each other. He's generally very silent and sometimes seems really zoned out. We don't see each other a lot in general, so it's sometimes disquieting and disturbing. Out of a week, we'll maybe spend two evenings together, if that. He's a musician and sometimes I get the feeling he'd rather be in his studio than out with me. He's 31 and will get extremely defensive if I try to bring up the future or where the relationship is heading. I'm beginning to realize I'm sitting at a big dead end. None of these feel like particularly good signs.

Hi guys, I care about my guy very much. We've been together almost a year now (anniversary would be right around V day, actually). However, it's been a constant struggle for this guy to show emotion or put more than minimum effort into things. I know the answer of what I need to do. I guess at this point I'm looking for emotional support as I go through this painful process. I believe the last straw for me was a horrible situation I've gone through this week. He's called every day to check in and 'catch up' on how things are, but makes no effort to physically be there with me during this trying time. It sucks being in a relationship where i have to keep putting my heart on the shelf. I know this is silly to ask, but there is better out there, right? This should not be how a relationship should feel?

Thanks guys, I appreciate all the replies and advice. It's great to know that I'm not alone in this. * hugs *

thanks Annie. I've heard of Ensure. I'll have to try them out. Good lord, how are some of you surviving on such little food? It doesn't seem balanced to me. musicguy, what do you usually eat for your one and a half meal?

Hi guys. I've turned into an emotional 'undereater'. When i have emotional ups and downs, instead of binging, i simply stop eating. i literally need to force food into my mouth, and it makes me feel ill. it's difficult to finish up a full plate. my bf and i have been in an extremely rocky relationship lately and i've been reacting very badly to it. i'm worried i'm not getting enough calories every day. the day before last, i only had a bowl or two of Total cereal! i want to stop this cycle because i know it's extremely damaging. Has anyone had any experience with this before?

I'm looking for someone who has a bit of experience 'working in the field' either as a published writer or with a journalistic venture. Please let me know.

I'm not sure how willing you might be to re-locate or if any of these capture your interest, but here are some writing jobs I pulled. (Put in the Texas area as it won't let me direct link from there.) link removed

What type of writing are you most into? And where do you live?

Hi Foxlocke. It sounds like you and I might share some of the same passions. I have an Associates of Arts and am currently completing a BA in Communication Studies, with an emphasis in Journalism. My minor is also Creative Writing. I was very torn for a while whether to pursue a BA in English or Journalism. I chose Journalism because I felt it would give me the most bang for my buck. After all, I read tons of literature in my free time and I don't necessarily need a professor to teach me how to write well creatively. I decided that having a degree in Journalism would broaden my horizons and help my own personal growth as it exercised my writing skills in a different direction. My long term goals are to share my passions with others and ultimately to work for myself. I love to travel (I've spent four years in Europe), and I love to write. Right now I'm in the process of building my own website/blog where I can write about my interests and make a little side money from it. There are many successful full-time bloggers out there who pull in decent above-average incomes because they've dedicated themselves to writing, and their passion produces quality articles. You need to explore your own passions and figure out how you can flourish with them. Don't get locked in a mindset that you're a loser or that you need to follow a certain path. Your heart will never steer you wrong. My bf is an English major as well, and he currently works as a proofreader. He hates it because his true passion in writing is composing music. Many years ago he was sitting in high school without a clue what he wanted to do with his life. His guidance counselor suggested an English degree and he chose it because he thought it might help him develop better lyrics. Obviously, he's not teacher material, nor a proofreader. He's a writer as a musician. He will never be fulfilled unless he is expressing himself in some way through his music. The bottom line is, stop criticising yourself and instead figure out where your true passions and talents are. Do them well and you will build a fulfilling career for yourself. Don't be afraid to go off the trail and take risks, and never ever be afraid of failure. Case in point, do you know how many small companies Bill Gates had that were total flops before he established Microsoft? But he didn't let failure discourage him. He kept trying something different and new until he finally found something that worked. I can't stress it enough. Never be afraid of failure. Take those risks and embrace your failures, because they will ultimately lead to your true calling.

Anna, if you stay in this relationship as it is now, I can guarantee with 99.99999% accuracy that you will be sitting in the same spot you're currently at weeks or even months from now. This guy is showing you who he is and you have to believe him. He does not respect you. He is not making an effort. He is not valuing your opinion. And he is acting like a royal jerk. Why are you driving five hours to see him and accepting this kind of trashy behavior? I've been in the same relationship as you are now with your Mr. Don Juan. Mine didn't change, and neither will your guy. Kick him like a bad habit -- because that is all he is. Do not stay in a relationship because of someone's 'potential'. It is not your job as a girlfriend to change someone or drag out their seemingly wonderful 'potential'. Either you accept him how he is, or you don't. These are huge red flags smacking you in the face right now. Listen to your intuition because I bet it's screaming something fierce right now. A man that loves and cherishes a woman does not treat her like an afterthought or an object. Stop being a doormat. Lift your head up high and don't look back. If he does truly care about you, he'll realize he's made mistakes that have seriously jeopardized your relationship. Then he'll be the one to drive five hours to do what it takes to make things right.

Thank you for the replies. I'll re-prioritize accordingly and use the money to reimburse my emergency fund. Then I'll concentrate on hacking away on my hefty car loan. It shouldn't be too hard to live below my means right now when my idea of splurging is feeding my cat Fancy Feast.