ProtestTheHero

I will add my meager two cents to this thread and say I stand in solidarity with you, Lolita. I am fairly young (27) and work in accounting/financial services. I make good money for my age, but I would not miss the grind of work if the means to fund my lifestyle could be supplied in another way. We are aligned politically. We are aligned in believing that life, more often than not, is a product of our own decisions more than it is a product of our own circumstances. Obviously, people are born closer to the finish line than others, but that doesn't change how I feel. Anyone can do what I do and make what I make, and I am weary of arguments to the contrary when nothing other than 40+ hours of hard work every week stands in between them and me. I am not uniquely gifted. Just wanted to show you some love.

That happens to me with some frequency in one specific area -- fashion. I know a ton about men's classic fashion, especially business, business casual, and anything to do with shoes. I can tell you the difference between Enzo Bonafe, Gaziano and Girling, Carmina, etc. I went to a decent store around here with my girlfriend and it was amusing to see how the salesperson directed all their commentary to her, as if I was being dragged along to something I didn't personally enjoy and she was responsible for outfitting me. When I'm out without her, I'm often accused of being gay in bars or casinos. All it takes is pomade in your hair, a pair of well fitting chinos, a nice double monk shoe, and a button-down and boom, lol.

My question is why do loners even want one another? I'm not afraid of being alone. It's not an impetus to hitch up with someone that's bad for me. However, when you remove fear from the equation you have the luxury of looking at it from a "value-added" perspective. I'm not afraid of intimacy or love -- I just don't value either thing. Would I enjoy my life any more at the present if a compatible romantic interest loved me? No. I'd be in the same position feeling the same things with the added complexity of having to consider the interests of someone else. I'm not advocating that we all, having conquered this fear, should become monks. If you want to have sex then have sex. If you want to spend time with a witty conversationalist then do so. You don't need intimacy, commitment, or love to enjoy almost every aspect of a typical exclusive relationship. You can have your cake and eat it, too. And then you can leave -- no explanation necessary. Why sacrifice that freedom for someone who pays lip service to the freedom that you value? I say "lip service" because people always say how much they value their alone time until they are alone. Your partner is good with your desire to carve out your alone time until he or she isn't, and they can't know that until they experience it. Why conquer the fear of being alone only to ultimately pair off with someone indefinitely? It seems like a waste of an advantageous mindset. Does that make sense to anyone but me?

The Rabbit Angstrom tetralogy by John Updike.

Don't care. There are too many other more important things I'm factoring in. As long as you're not going to give me something or commit it to memory for life, we're good.

Machiavelli - The Prince

I don't think they will see this post. This thread is like 5 years old.

Obviously a take on Seuss with the structure, although the first thing I thought when I saw the title was the MASH song.

I'd get out of this situation, man. This is obviously something that won't change. You are who you are. If she can't accept that, let her sleep around and play dress up with someone dumb enough to let her. You are worth more than that and deserve more respect than that. I'd bail.

Idk, I kinda like the ambiguity. Leaves room for individual interpretation.

It was on the front page, so it's not like I dug into the archives to make a random point. I'm not saying anyone got ganged up on, I just think it's utterly hilarious that anyone would be offended by the question. I myself have NO sexual history, and among people my age that's something to be embarrased about. I guess I find it funny that people take it so seriously? I don't know.

Life isn't fair. If it's REALLY serious to the OP, go ahead and ask and make a decision based on it. If this causes a big schism because it's important to you and not to her, than maybe you two aren't as suited for each other as you though. My god, the need to be politically correct is hideously burdensome. If a girl was asking this question, I'm sure it would be entirely justified. I'm entirely amused that so many people rushed to defend someone they don't know. Nothing like being enlightened by such tolerant free thinkers. Everyone is pushing their own brand of intolerance in one way or another, and the agenda pushing gets old.

You'll be looking for a while. I'd say nice guys are made up of the overly sensitive, the overly shy, the overly predictable, and the jaded. Anyone who calls themselves a nice guy and isn't any of the aforementioned things is few and far between. Once you find one, you actually have to be attracted to him. All in all, it's not looking good from a probability standpoint.

Well, K-dog, I think I'd go with A too. I don't think A is possible in this world though. Looks are only useful for initial attraction, but when it comes down to it Father Time can stain even the most beautiful. Those who cling to looks are those who have NOTHING else to cling to. Kevin, your posts scare me sometimes because you think exactly like me.

Girls just need to expect to be held to the same ridiculously high standards that they apply to men. For example, if you're a "2", don't expect a "10." If you don't "wow" anyone intellectually, why require it out of others. I'm sure you're a good person, it's just better to be realistic. Plus, I don't know you...everything above was hypothetical.

LOL. Ancient Greece rocked.

Cookie-cutter is slang for typical or ordinary. For example, all the girls on laguna beach are cookie cutter in appearance. Hollister, AE...stuff like that. They all agree on the typical nuances of what is physically attractive to most people in today's society. Little robots, if you will. It's mostly used for bands, though. For example, Hinder, MCR, and bands like them are cookie cutter bands.

Some guys use it as a measuring stick to boost their ego. If other people have found you attractive, then the guy you are dating has someone that other guys want. Immature and stupid? Yes. If I liked someone, I wouldn't care if they were blacklisted by everyone. Happens, though.

First off, you have my "awesome" tag just for making that diagram. Sounds like something I'd do. Try not to put her on the spot so much by using your friends. Just get to know her. High school lacks many genuine guys, unless you count people who are genuinely stupid. Talk to her. Ask her questions about herself, and then roll with her answers. Don't think about impressing her, just show her the real you. Also, I'd advise against "do you like me?" questions and stuff like that. After you talk to her, ask her to go hang with you (movie, food, activity that you both like). That doesn't put as much pressure on you or her. If she says yes, awesome. If not, oh well. Just remember that regardless of what happens, Tyler101 has given you his stamp of approval from that diagram alone.

I think it's extremely odd that short hair connotates with maturity and long hair with immaturity, especially since those "Adult" short hair styles are what I wore from the ages of 3-8. I'm growing my hair out at the moment, so maybe I'm biased... It's just amusing that no hair is good hair. I only can hope that guys are just as demanding when it comes to hair.

I only see logical fallacies in V and S. Having high standards doesn't mean you can ever actually find a girl that meets the prerequisites. Telling yourself you are interesting doesn't mean that you actually are. You say people like Anti and myself who project a negative attitude possess a warped sense of reality. This thinking is equally as extreme as a negative perception. The truth lies somewhere in between.

No. Both of them dated like crazy...neither had any problems in that area.

I can agree with you on some of your points. First off, you needn't be sorry about my physical unattractiveness. That blame would be more aptly placed on the genes of my parents or God, depending on your beliefs. I would trade my academic success for beauty in a heart beat. It seems to me that that is the only thing that is universally valued. We are defined nowadays by what we are, not who we are and what we do. My own perception of myself does not change anything but my attitude. I've said this a lot: You can paint crap a pretty color, but it still smells. I think it's fairly obvious that a woman's physique equates manipulation. A pretty girl can get out of traffic tickets, and most of the time guys will help her with things. It happens at school all the time. You see it in advertising. It is almost predatory. I am not angry at women solely because of their beauty, just how they use it. I am disgusted by the "I would date me because I am beautiful" stuff...the vanity. They will have no problems attracting men ever, while I have to do anything and everything just to work up attraction. That's real fair. I am ugly, so I don't trot around pretending I'm a catch or something special. I am a realist. I no longer expect any female attention at any point of my life. As for this being a stage I will "grow out" of, well, I have to say that my own feelings are a direct result of my circumstances and experience. If I didn't have any experience to validate my "disturbing" opinions, then I would consider my post off base. I can admit at this point in my life that I do resent all women and how they evaluate me just by looking at me. Some guys have nothing but attraction to their name, and they will always turn heads and be valued. Forgive me. This is not the time or the place. I do not wish to derail this thread as a result of my anger.

No, we are not all sex objects. Some people are not gifted with a great body and face. As a result, sex is the farthest thing from one's mind when they meet a person like that. The old, "Ew..yuck" feeling. I've tried to avoid girls who dress that way because a lot of times it shows me how important their own looks are. I remember on Beauty and the Geek the guys had to turn their backs on the girls before they picked partners, and some of the girls didn't like that because then they couldn't "win" people over. To me, a woman's body symbolizes manipulation. But I think it's fair that you understand my perspective. Luckily I have a fast metabolism so weight has never been an issue, but all of this is coming from a guy who covers himself up as much as possible. I have no pride in my body at all, so I guess I'm a little envious when people start talking about their positive physical attributes. I guess I have a hard time feeling any sympathy for someone whose problems derive from the fact that they are beautiful. Seriously...wanna trade?